Midnight Confessions
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B
This is annoying
I'd; rather feel apathy than a string of utter disappointment/ or strings of condemnation brought on by the world.
Elusiveness may not be a substitution for persecution, but sometimes it just fits like a glove.
And the idea of being in love with the idea of being in love is heartbreaking, although it may hold its seasons of joy and happiness....great happiness. Closeness, communion.
It's the anticipation of these things that cause me to feel the plunder of ruin. I'd rather not feel anything at all and have my sole devotion rest upon the Lord, rather than the idea of doing my part...er I mean, allowing the next memoir to be written. Except, it's not about me, it's about the one who holds the Invisible pen of the universe.
-~-I am a vessel in need of the endless supply of his energy that consumes me- Jesus: That it is.-~-
I hate hanging in the balances of this life, all or nothing.
Except for learning the practices of the fruits of the spirit: Such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Although I'd calmly like to not disappoint you, with my irreverent needs....perhaps not irreverent.
But I'd like to say that they are.
Ramble... lol.
- I'll probably have energy tomorrow.
Annyway!
I'd; rather feel apathy than a string of utter disappointment/ or strings of condemnation brought on by the world.
Elusiveness may not be a substitution for persecution, but sometimes it just fits like a glove.
And the idea of being in love with the idea of being in love is heartbreaking, although it may hold its seasons of joy and happiness....great happiness. Closeness, communion.
It's the anticipation of these things that cause me to feel the plunder of ruin. I'd rather not feel anything at all and have my sole devotion rest upon the Lord, rather than the idea of doing my part...er I mean, allowing the next memoir to be written. Except, it's not about me, it's about the one who holds the Invisible pen of the universe.
-~-I am a vessel in need of the endless supply of his energy that consumes me- Jesus: That it is.-~-
I hate hanging in the balances of this life, all or nothing.
Except for learning the practices of the fruits of the spirit: Such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Although I'd calmly like to not disappoint you, with my irreverent needs....perhaps not irreverent.
But I'd like to say that they are.
Ramble... lol.
- I'll probably have energy tomorrow.
Annyway!
a little over 40 years ago, i started and kept praying for yahweh by grace in yahshua to let me know the truth no matter what, as i had already seen, and since them much more so, that the truth is missing in families, churches, government, schools, medicine, politics, forums, friends, neighbors, and on and on and on --- throughout all of society truth is missing, and the lie is published as truth....
yahweh's promise in HIS WORD is that IF you seek the truth, he will teach you the truth about all things,
and
remember it is like a sword, in that it will separate you from family, friends , churches, religions, jobs, and on and on and on ---- -
and that it IS WORTH IT because only the truth can set you free..... (simply also "JESUS is the TRUTH") ...
it will overwhelmingly shock you how much of what you've been taught all your life is completely wrong.
and yahweh's grace is MORE than enough to RECOVER YOU TO HIM in yahshua, IF you will. IF you endure to the end.
yahweh's promise in HIS WORD is that IF you seek the truth, he will teach you the truth about all things,
and
remember it is like a sword, in that it will separate you from family, friends , churches, religions, jobs, and on and on and on ---- -
and that it IS WORTH IT because only the truth can set you free..... (simply also "JESUS is the TRUTH") ...
it will overwhelmingly shock you how much of what you've been taught all your life is completely wrong.
and yahweh's grace is MORE than enough to RECOVER YOU TO HIM in yahshua, IF you will. IF you endure to the end.
Past midnight in to the 1:30 AM confessional area.....sleepless in Clearwater.....not Seattle.... But it is o.k. at least there is somewhere to go to entertain myself and resurrect an older thread....that was a friend of mine for quite a while....This is a nice place to hang out.....and chat....even if it is to yourself.....
Self.....What are you doing up? Well, can't sleep, but maybe at some point you will get tired and then you can retire back to bed.... Alrighty then....
Self.....What are you doing up? Well, can't sleep, but maybe at some point you will get tired and then you can retire back to bed.... Alrighty then....
I pray for God to remove the anxiety from my life and to provide me with that I need to be a more rounded indivual as a humble servant to the Lord. I am most thankful for the loving and faithful wife that He has provided for me and I pray to always be a loving and faithful husband, and to always be sensitive to her as the sweet and loving woman that she is. Life has been a struggle for me for the longest time. It is time to let go and give this to God as He knows what is best. It is now time to move forward.
R
My midnight confession!!!! Dear Heavenly Father I am eternally grateful for I was ignorant for the fact that I
- was blind and never knew what it is like to see yet you game me sight.
- was lost and not even knew that I needed to be found yet you found me.
- was dying of starvation and would have been settle for a morsel of bread and a few drops of water yet you fed me
- was poor and would have been satisfied with rags to cover my nakedness, sheltered hollow under a bridge, with bare minimum to survive yet you gave me riches untold.
- was in darkness and happily contented in such life yet brought me into the light
- was dead in sin and knew no better yet you gave me life.
I will live the rest of my life to share with others of the heavenly life that I now live in and I am grateful for life will be meaningless without you dear Lord Jesus Christ. For all the struggles and challenges that I face daily I know that your strength is made perfect in my weaknesses and that your grace is sufficient to see me through. It is my prayer that your words will be my daily confessions as in 1 Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
- was blind and never knew what it is like to see yet you game me sight.
- was lost and not even knew that I needed to be found yet you found me.
- was dying of starvation and would have been settle for a morsel of bread and a few drops of water yet you fed me
- was poor and would have been satisfied with rags to cover my nakedness, sheltered hollow under a bridge, with bare minimum to survive yet you gave me riches untold.
- was in darkness and happily contented in such life yet brought me into the light
- was dead in sin and knew no better yet you gave me life.
I will live the rest of my life to share with others of the heavenly life that I now live in and I am grateful for life will be meaningless without you dear Lord Jesus Christ. For all the struggles and challenges that I face daily I know that your strength is made perfect in my weaknesses and that your grace is sufficient to see me through. It is my prayer that your words will be my daily confessions as in 1 Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
I was fussy at my tourist yesterday morning and a little harsh......there are things that worry me and I took it out on him. Then realized that I love this man and it was mean of me as we were reading the Bible lesson my voice wavered a bit as I felt remorse and ashamed that I had been mean and really wanted to cry for my bad behavior so I did apologize and asked for forgiveness. For my tourist is a dear sweet man and I love him very much and never want to hurt him.
The song that comes to mind is I'm Sorry So Sorry.....
The song that comes to mind is I'm Sorry So Sorry.....
I was fussy at my tourist yesterday morning and a little harsh......there are things that worry me and I took it out on him. Then realized that I love this man and it was mean of me as we were reading the Bible lesson my voice wavered a bit as I felt remorse and ashamed that I had been mean and really wanted to cry for my bad behavior so I did apologize and asked for forgiveness. For my tourist is a dear sweet man and I love him very much and never want to hurt him.
The song that comes to mind is I'm Sorry So Sorry.....
The song that comes to mind is I'm Sorry So Sorry.....
I joined CC for Christian fellowship in October of 2013 I had just been laid off from my job in June and in September I hooked up a notebook to internet in my house as a way to communicate with the outside world and then landed on CC in October....
I hung out in the Bible Discussion Forum and learned to develop tough skin as it can be a Battle Ground to say the least.... but that is where I spent most of my time in the beginning....
Then in March of 2014 tourist joined CC and I noticed a few of his posts and he seemed to be hanging out in the Singles Forum which was a much lighter side to CC. He personal messaged me two or three times and I wrote back but he stopped and so did I for a while. I found that we kept running into each other in different threads and I liked the way he responded and he liked the way I responded and it went that way for a while.
In July of 2014 the cat that belonged to my daughter, but her boyfriend said he was allergic to which meant I was taking care of her cat had to be put to sleep and I was devastated posting about it and tourist came and hung out in my sorrowful posting about the cat and he started personal messaging me again....long story short we gave out email addresses, mail addresses and phone numbers and started getting to know one another....
I did everything wrong that you are not suppose to do because I had been single for 35 years (was 59) and had chased off a lot of men in my day and had given up on dating ever again... So I started telling him everything and I mean everything that was wrong with me and that I had ever done wrong in my life....trying to chase him away.... Instead of chasing him away he then opened up to me and told me all his wrongs..... Which in the end we both knew just exactly what we were getting into....lol
The really nice thing about it was that we were both truthful and totally honest with each other... So that when we finally met face to face we were very comfortable with each other and knew so much already..... I don't know if you young kids would be brave enough to do it or not.... But I tell you I did everything you are not suppose to do and for us it worked.....lol
tourist moved over to Clearwater from Apopka, we got married November 27, 2014.... He's working I stay home and we are as happy as can be and met right here on CC and no it is not a dating site... but it was online.... There is hope and yes there were a lot of prayers said too.... at one point I asked God.... Can I keep him? God and tourist said yes....
I posted this in another thread but also move it to Midnight Confessions so I could find it easier.......That's my story and I'm sticking to it....lol
I hung out in the Bible Discussion Forum and learned to develop tough skin as it can be a Battle Ground to say the least.... but that is where I spent most of my time in the beginning....
Then in March of 2014 tourist joined CC and I noticed a few of his posts and he seemed to be hanging out in the Singles Forum which was a much lighter side to CC. He personal messaged me two or three times and I wrote back but he stopped and so did I for a while. I found that we kept running into each other in different threads and I liked the way he responded and he liked the way I responded and it went that way for a while.
In July of 2014 the cat that belonged to my daughter, but her boyfriend said he was allergic to which meant I was taking care of her cat had to be put to sleep and I was devastated posting about it and tourist came and hung out in my sorrowful posting about the cat and he started personal messaging me again....long story short we gave out email addresses, mail addresses and phone numbers and started getting to know one another....
I did everything wrong that you are not suppose to do because I had been single for 35 years (was 59) and had chased off a lot of men in my day and had given up on dating ever again... So I started telling him everything and I mean everything that was wrong with me and that I had ever done wrong in my life....trying to chase him away.... Instead of chasing him away he then opened up to me and told me all his wrongs..... Which in the end we both knew just exactly what we were getting into....lol
The really nice thing about it was that we were both truthful and totally honest with each other... So that when we finally met face to face we were very comfortable with each other and knew so much already..... I don't know if you young kids would be brave enough to do it or not.... But I tell you I did everything you are not suppose to do and for us it worked.....lol
tourist moved over to Clearwater from Apopka, we got married November 27, 2014.... He's working I stay home and we are as happy as can be and met right here on CC and no it is not a dating site... but it was online.... There is hope and yes there were a lot of prayers said too.... at one point I asked God.... Can I keep him? God and tourist said yes....
I posted this in another thread but also move it to Midnight Confessions so I could find it easier.......That's my story and I'm sticking to it....lol
M
Sometimes (like right now) I feel really lost and scared. I don't know what the Lord wants from me. It's like I get two opposing ideas at the same time and it's so exhausting because I don't know what the Lord wants me to do. I cry out to him and sometimes he doesn't answer. It's so hard.
Don't get me wrong, I've had lovely dreams with Christ too. He and I have spent some time together and it's great. Since I grew up without a dad, I've always pictured him as my Father, the way it should be, and it's amazing. I am nothing without Him. My joy comes from the Lord and if I didn't know him, I don't know where I would be right now.
But at the same time...sometimes I feel alone and I wonder, what does he want me to do? Am I leading the right path? Is business math really what he wants me to study? Should I learn guitar like the worship leader suggested? Even though that's kinda scary for me.
Does he want me to continue tutoring children after school or should I get involved with the homeless ministry at church? Why can't I find a job after so many months of not having one?
It is just so overwhelming. I need clarity. Anyways, sorry about ranting, but that's what this thread is for, right?
Don't get me wrong, I've had lovely dreams with Christ too. He and I have spent some time together and it's great. Since I grew up without a dad, I've always pictured him as my Father, the way it should be, and it's amazing. I am nothing without Him. My joy comes from the Lord and if I didn't know him, I don't know where I would be right now.
But at the same time...sometimes I feel alone and I wonder, what does he want me to do? Am I leading the right path? Is business math really what he wants me to study? Should I learn guitar like the worship leader suggested? Even though that's kinda scary for me.
Does he want me to continue tutoring children after school or should I get involved with the homeless ministry at church? Why can't I find a job after so many months of not having one?
It is just so overwhelming. I need clarity. Anyways, sorry about ranting, but that's what this thread is for, right?