Don't know what you mean bootstrapping. Wouldn't AT ALL blame others for others heartaches. Misunderstood. Just saying if they had ppl in their life who prayed and cared for them consistently, it might help ease their pain, and help avoid it in the future. I think we'd all be surprised to know just how many there are that don't really have anyone that cares enough to actually enter their world and be-friend them, and many try to hide it. It's hard to give away what you don't have, especially when rejection, ridicule, or chastisement is your common experience.
There is no friendship or multiple friendship who can heal or friend you like God can.
BTW: Bootstrapping is 'picking yourself up by your bootstraps'. What is meant is that you need to go it alone and that's not what I am saying. BUT, I am saying that your strength should come from God, and not another person. People can't heal your broken heart. Only God can.