I know from a legal standpoint, it matters if it was rape or not.. With her original post, it doesn't, because you can see she is sick to her stomach with what happened. She obviously never been in that type of situation and didn't know what to do. People's bodies often enough react faster than and overpower our minds, which is what happened here. Her body gave in and allowed it even though her mind was saying no. Doesn't change the fact the guy knew what he was doing and she feels awful about everything.
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A
Men know what kind of pain that would cause. They empathize. Women don't. All I know is it would make him kneel or squirm on the ground giving me time to run. Also make him think twice about going after knowing I hit the target. That, and I really can't kill someone. It's not in me. Maim for a few months? Sure, but not kill.
Now, hubby on the other hand? He couldn't knee a guy. He just can't. But killing? If the guy goes after me, I'd be spending most of the time trying to unbed his fingers from the guy's neck. That's why I didn't tell him when someone was simply being a creep to me. He'd beat a boss simply because the boss made me cry. lol
I'd tell him, but months later, so he'd feel a little foolish going after the guy by then. Besides, when the coworker slapped my bottom, I elbowed him in the ribs.
Hubby knows that one too. I was getting a soda at a convenient store before going over to his house. Someone came up behind me and rubbed my back. Good thing future hubby had great reflexes. It was the side of the ribs that dislocate occasionally.
Now, hubby on the other hand? He couldn't knee a guy. He just can't. But killing? If the guy goes after me, I'd be spending most of the time trying to unbed his fingers from the guy's neck. That's why I didn't tell him when someone was simply being a creep to me. He'd beat a boss simply because the boss made me cry. lol
I'd tell him, but months later, so he'd feel a little foolish going after the guy by then. Besides, when the coworker slapped my bottom, I elbowed him in the ribs.
Hubby knows that one too. I was getting a soda at a convenient store before going over to his house. Someone came up behind me and rubbed my back. Good thing future hubby had great reflexes. It was the side of the ribs that dislocate occasionally.
Just so wrong on so many levels. A woman goes to visit a neighbor. He pressures her over and over for sex. She says no repeatedly by pushing him away.
That is the definition of rape! Not giving consent! Refusing the advances over and over.
The simple fact that it was a man, with a young woman, means he is physically stronger than her. She may subconsciously worry that if she doesn't give in, he will do much worse than rape her, but kill her instead.
As for kneeing him, it is easier said than done. If you are a passive woman and have not been trained in self defense, the idea may never occur to you. If it does, you may worry that it will make the man even madder and he will overpower you.
For sex to be consensual, it has to be "YES" all the way from start to end. But if the OP is a minor (still not seeing an answer to this question) or even if she is a fairly young woman, and older man can be physically intimidating, just by his presence.
I can now see why so many men get away with rape, by the answers in this thread. While the men who are blaming the victim may never rape someone, they think as though they are part of the rape culture.
The rape culture is one in which women are fair game, even if they say no, protest, or any other kind of trying to get away, or avoid the rapist. Men in the rape culture have lots of excuses why they are allowed to rape a woman, from "she was dressed in a tempting way" to "she didn't protest very much."
Very sad to see so many Christian men who do not realize that their job is to protect women, and to not abuse them in any way. Very sad, indeed!
That is the definition of rape! Not giving consent! Refusing the advances over and over.
The simple fact that it was a man, with a young woman, means he is physically stronger than her. She may subconsciously worry that if she doesn't give in, he will do much worse than rape her, but kill her instead.
As for kneeing him, it is easier said than done. If you are a passive woman and have not been trained in self defense, the idea may never occur to you. If it does, you may worry that it will make the man even madder and he will overpower you.
For sex to be consensual, it has to be "YES" all the way from start to end. But if the OP is a minor (still not seeing an answer to this question) or even if she is a fairly young woman, and older man can be physically intimidating, just by his presence.
I can now see why so many men get away with rape, by the answers in this thread. While the men who are blaming the victim may never rape someone, they think as though they are part of the rape culture.
The rape culture is one in which women are fair game, even if they say no, protest, or any other kind of trying to get away, or avoid the rapist. Men in the rape culture have lots of excuses why they are allowed to rape a woman, from "she was dressed in a tempting way" to "she didn't protest very much."
Very sad to see so many Christian men who do not realize that their job is to protect women, and to not abuse them in any way. Very sad, indeed!
L
I'm am ex law enforcement and can tell you this would never hold up in court as rape. Why did she go to this guys house in the first place? Why didn't she leave when she felt uncomfortable about the situation? Did he threaten her? If he did threaten her then this is also kidnapping. Just from her statement without anymore details to go on she was consenting. We all have a choice to make and she made the wrong choice. Yes the guy is a perv and someone should probably cut his your know what off.
We also don't know what was said while she pushed him away. Was it more like, she pushed his hands away and said "we really shouldn't do this." Or was it she pushed his hands away and said "Stop touching me leave me alone."
We don't know all the facts to throw out rape so easily. You people really need to think about what your saying before throwing stones at someone when you don't know all the facts.
We also don't know what was said while she pushed him away. Was it more like, she pushed his hands away and said "we really shouldn't do this." Or was it she pushed his hands away and said "Stop touching me leave me alone."
We don't know all the facts to throw out rape so easily. You people really need to think about what your saying before throwing stones at someone when you don't know all the facts.
P
Back at 'cha, buddy! Tell me, in what state is it legal for a minor to give consent?
Don't answer the question -- just think about it. PM me if you really want to chat about it.
You're addressing everyone except for this young lady -- who is deeply hurting and came for support!
Regardless of whether or not this is rape, the advice of calling the police or going to a rape crisis center -- is sound advice!
Don't answer the question -- just think about it. PM me if you really want to chat about it.
You're addressing everyone except for this young lady -- who is deeply hurting and came for support!
Regardless of whether or not this is rape, the advice of calling the police or going to a rape crisis center -- is sound advice!
You made a mistake, forget it! Get back up and serve the Lord sister. His mercies are new everyday.
…22The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 24"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."…
Lamentations 3:
…22The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 24"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."…
Lamentations 3:
B
Forgetting it... Isn't really DEALING with it.
So while you might have meant "forget it"... or you really meant "don't over work yourself about the actual incident which cannot be changed so it is futile to camp there and move forward to healing"
I am in firm agreement of the latter and rigidly opposed to the former. There are people who DO subscribe to the Former pattern of thinking and it is neither good for you or God honoring. Like I said, don't know which camp you are in Damom, but I have made the distinction and pitched a tent in mine.
So while you might have meant "forget it"... or you really meant "don't over work yourself about the actual incident which cannot be changed so it is futile to camp there and move forward to healing"
I am in firm agreement of the latter and rigidly opposed to the former. There are people who DO subscribe to the Former pattern of thinking and it is neither good for you or God honoring. Like I said, don't know which camp you are in Damom, but I have made the distinction and pitched a tent in mine.
Blue, I understand what you're saying, but people push hands all the time as a way of teasing. She did say he did stop a few times.. And yet went back to doing it. Doesn't change the fact the guy knew how to seduce her. That's what it sounds like to me. Seduction is different from rape. I agree with Lance it wouldn't hold up as rape. But, it doesn't change the fact she is hurt by what happened. She admits she was part of it and is seeking forgiveness. Christ has already forgiven her. It's time for us to stop trying to define rape and start praying over her.
A
First, whether it is enforceable in a court of law, doesn't really define if it was morally right.
Second, I'm not even suggesting she take it to court. I'm more concern for her mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Third, sexual harassment is a kind of rape law enforcement doesn't deal with. You know criminal law in your state. Criminal law isn't the full law. Your state isn't all 50 states.
Fourth, men are the ones a bit foggy on when something is rape, and only when they're the ones pursuing a little too hard. Foggy leaves the room if it happens to them. Someone who has been raped and sexually harassed really does know what the mind goes through afterward. NoRedemption, (which is truly a horrible screen name to give yourself, btw... you are redeemable AND repairable!!!), has clearly shown what's going in her mind the day after.
Second, I'm not even suggesting she take it to court. I'm more concern for her mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Third, sexual harassment is a kind of rape law enforcement doesn't deal with. You know criminal law in your state. Criminal law isn't the full law. Your state isn't all 50 states.
Fourth, men are the ones a bit foggy on when something is rape, and only when they're the ones pursuing a little too hard. Foggy leaves the room if it happens to them. Someone who has been raped and sexually harassed really does know what the mind goes through afterward. NoRedemption, (which is truly a horrible screen name to give yourself, btw... you are redeemable AND repairable!!!), has clearly shown what's going in her mind the day after.
K
There's no hole too deep that the arm of Jesus Christ isn't deeper still ... and more than able (and lovingly willing) to rescue us from. His mercy, His grace and His love are greater than the shame any of us are left to bear as a result of our sinful actions. And believe me NoRedemptionNoRepair ... every single one of us here and everywhere is and has been in need of God's mercy and loving gift of redemption freely given us in Christ. You came here seeking hope and perhaps forgiveness for your actions. Know that both are yours for the asking when you bring your broken and contrite heart to Christ. I took the liberty of reading your other posts in the hopes of learning a bit more about you. It was easily discerned why and how you ended up in the predicament that you did. Love and acceptance is what you were seeking. Sadly, what you stumbled across and became a victim of was this fallen world's sometimes version of it. I say "sometimes" ... because not all of humanity would have taken advantage of your fragile and vulnerable state. But those whose hearts don't know and embrace the wonderful attributes of our living God in Jesus Christ very likely would. Such is the nature of fallen, sinful man. You dear and precious young woman. It breaks the hearts of many of us that took the time to read your post. But do know this. God's love for you is far greater than your shame and God's forgiveness (freely given for the asking in Jesus Christ) is more than able to cover not only your sin ... but the sins of all of us. Not a one of us is more deserving or better then the next. God will bring you thru this. And you will be the better for it ... and wiser. I'm married to a wonderful woman that spent her entire young life in foster homes. I wouldn't trade her for the world 
Be still dear friend ... and know (and trust) that He is God. You are loved immensely by Him and He will never leave you or forsake you. Never
Be still dear friend ... and know (and trust) that He is God. You are loved immensely by Him and He will never leave you or forsake you. Never 
zero, might I suggest that you take a look at the links in atwhatcost's post #49?
https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/u...ew-rape-definition-frequently-asked-questions
K
Don't Lance ... even if you were to gain proper consent. The only business any of us have here is to offer her support and encouragement and extend to her God's love that was given freely to each of us in Christ. We're all fallen creatures in this flesh. I'm hoping that this remains the theme of any further responses. God bless
L
Don't Lance ... even if you were to gain proper consent. The only business any of us have here is to offer her support and encouragement and extend to her God's love that was given freely to each of us in Christ. We're all fallen creatures in this flesh. I'm hoping that this remains the theme of any further responses. God bless
M
Start talking to God honey start with even hey God ask him to get answers from him and be patient the bible says 'wait for the lord ' in psalms 37 and get a bible or use biblegateway.com thats an online bible and then tell him what youre going through and also pray for your needs and in faith expect he will say yes to your prayers and care for you and your needs . I can see and feel God through all these kind words and encouragement from the members of Christian chat that God wants to shower his love on you he wants you to know he's all you need remember he created the universe and he is so mighty he created the sun! so he can help you God is very able . Start and believe you can obey God . you could start with things you most sad or worried/ angry / confused about dont be like me when i was young most of my prayers werent about creating a 'personal ' relationship to God meaning you find he's a person and your father - but about worrying about lost library books haha.