As time passes, I begin to swell down, and reflect on what I've done.
Right now, almost everyone I personally know is living on their own, independent, and engaging in serious relationships. I am still at home with my parents, struggling to find employment.
Since going back to Church, I've been losing more money, and dwindling down a hole.
When any of you talk about God taking care of you...I have to ask myself...are you truly being taken care of...or are you rationalizing the lack of blessing God has given you as nothing? Are you TRULY satisfied with God? I cant take you seriously.
Right now, I am fighting to keep myself employed as I advance forward. I am losing money at an alarming rate. Everyone else I know is progressing forward. I am choosing to be reverent to God regardless, and I'm sorry...but as I am advancing, I cant understand why most of you Christians settle for so little.
Cant God give more? Cant he reverse the poverty and misfortune of one who is struggling? What good is my faith if I wake up everyday feeling hopeless? What good is it? Can any of you happy-camp Christians tell me the truth of how God treats his followers? Can I expect victory, blessing, and financial growth, or am I chasing a pipe dream? Is God a giver to those who are faithful, or is this the best I can hope for?
see, the difference between you and I, in my opinion, is that you're ok with living a crappy subpar life, and giving thanks to God for it. I want more. WAY MORE. Everyone on chatrooms and sites tell me to be happy with what I have. I hate what I have. I want more.
Can God give more? If he cant, then that's that, and Christianity is straightforward and simple. If so, how do I get God to give more to me?