The Value of Anyone

[MissCris]

I've seen it said time and again throughout this forum that God sees the value, or worth, in everyone. All of us. From the rich executive with the seemingly perfect life, down to the homeless man begging on the street corner. From the bubbly, outgoing woman who greets and talks to everyone at church, to the weird kid dressed all in black who keeps his head down and sits in the back pew.

Everyone, in God's eyes, is worth something.

So I'm wondering...I guess...why it so often seems that we-Christians- want to strip some people of that worth? Why we pick and choose which traits in a person have value, and feel free to make a joke of anyone without those chosen qualities?

I think we've all seen it happen- and I think we've all done it to some degree to people we come across. A recent example within this forum would be a certain member who likes to...er...rain on everyone's parade. Another recent example, the thread about happy people being more attractive. Why is it that people (myself included) have this need to tear others down, whether it's a specific person, or a whole group?

What is it that makes someone valuable in others' eyes?
And what is it that makes it acceptable for anyone to try to negate that worth?

I don't really expect answers to my questions, but rather, people's thoughts/experiences/opinions.

 

[MollyConnor]

Hello! I think for me personally I find people who are friendly much better Christians than I am. I've always been told that Christians need to be friendly and outgoing. So I feel really bad about myself because I'm naturally shy and introverted. So friendliness is definitely a quality I find valuable in others.

I also like when people are positive and hardly worry. I guess because I myself worry and think negatively about myself a lot of the time. So I find the qualities that I want, are the ones I find most useful in other people. Which is wrong of me because I know that there are others like myself who are shy and introverted, that can bring a lot to the table.

I suppose it's because we are humans and imperfect, we tend to bring others down to try and make ourselves feel better. It's such a horrible truth, but true nonetheless.

Who is the member that rains on everyone's parade?

 

[tourist]

Hello! I think for me personally I find people who are friendly much better Christians than I am. I've always been told that Christians need to be friendly and outgoing. So I feel really bad about myself because I'm naturally shy and introverted. So friendliness is definitely a quality I find valuable in others.

I also like when people are positive and hardly worry. I guess because I myself worry and think negatively about myself a lot of the time. So I find the qualities that I want, are the ones I find most useful in other people. Which is wrong of me because I know that there are others like myself who are shy and introverted, that can bring a lot to the table.

I suppose it's because we are humans and imperfect, we tend to bring others down to try and make ourselves feel better. It's such a horrible truth, but true nonetheless.

Who is the member that rains on everyone's parade?

I don't believe that you will find in the bible that Christians are supposed to be friendly and outgoing. I am an introvert also. Just because I'm not outgoing does not mean that I am selfish and don't care. Also, being shy and an introvert does not mean that you are less than perfect.

No one is perfect.

Yes, some people don't seem to worry about anything. Maybe some of them have their heads in the sand.

I believe you to be a sweet, kind and decent person. No, you are not perfect and neither am I. We are only human after all.

 

[VioletReigns]

Hello! I think for me personally I find people who are friendly much better Christians than I am. I've always been told that Christians need to be friendly and outgoing. So I feel really bad about myself because I'm naturally shy and introverted. So friendliness is definitely a quality I find valuable in others.

I also like when people are positive and hardly worry. I guess because I myself worry and think negatively about myself a lot of the time. So I find the qualities that I want, are the ones I find most useful in other people. Which is wrong of me because I know that there are others like myself who are shy and introverted, that can bring a lot to the table.

I suppose it's because we are humans and imperfect, we tend to bring others down to try and make ourselves feel better. It's such a horrible truth, but true nonetheless.

Who is the member that rains on everyone's parade?

I am not emotionally strong. I panic impulsively. I am not naturally friendly. I am a very private and introverted person. I don't like crowds. My reflexes are cat-like, I spring and react physically to danger. I even growl when I sense someone's in danger. I must lift weights, run, exercise to balance my stress levels. I am not perfect in any aspect.

Anything that is of any merit in me is 100% of God. I know that to be true. But man oh man how thrilling it is to know that Jesus Christ is alive in me and can accomplish anything that He sets in me to do. What a miracle of grace how He makes us into His image, ya know? That's who we are in Christ, Molly. Perfect in Him.

 

[Willie-T]

I don't believe that you will find in the bible that Christians are supposed to be friendly and outgoing. I am an introvert also. Just because I'm not outgoing does not mean that I am selfish and don't care. Also, being shy and an introvert does not mean that you are less than perfect.

No one is perfect.

Yes, some people don't seem to worry about anything. Maybe some of them have their heads in the sand.

I believe you to be a sweet, kind and decent person. No, you are not perfect and neither am I. We are only human after all.

Jerry...... going on 8,000 posts, and you say you are introverted? LOL

 

[Galahad]

Jerry...... going on 8,000 posts, and you say you are introverted? LOL

He's extroverted textually. Introverted publicly, and so personally he is beside himself.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I think we've all seen it happen- and I think we've all done it to some degree to people we come across. A recent example within this forum would be a certain member who likes to...er...rain on everyone's parade. Another recent example, the thread about happy people being more attractive.

Lol...

Do we really ever actually understand the value of a person, like, in an appraisal context, ourselves included?

It seems we tend to appreciate or dislike qualities in others based on how much they (the qualities) affect us; directly or indirectly. Little bit of egoism, I suppose. We might be more objective about certain traits more than others, but in the end, it's all fairly personal.

 

[Willie-T]

He's extroverted textually. Introverted publicly, and so personally he is beside himself.

Ok, I'll give you that one. In person, he IS a little quieter than me...... but that ain't saying much.

 

[VioletReigns]

Lol...

Do we really ever actually understand the value of a person, like, in an appraisal context, ourselves included?

It seems we tend to appreciate or dislike qualities in others based on how much they (the qualities) affect us; directly or indirectly. Little bit of egoism, I suppose. We might be more objective about certain traits more than others, but in the end, it's all fairly personal.

And too, we tend to go by man's standards of worth rather than God's.

 

[Olerica]

It's exceptionally easy to devalue what we don't understand or what we can't identify with. Unfortunately, we are commanded to love one another. For me, when I come across a person that I am having a difficult time with, I pray that God give me HIS eyes for that person, HIS heart... because I am certainly flawed and human and often exasperated. And I've learned the hard way to hold my tongue when I'm chewing on an acid lozenge instead of spewing out that bitterness... and yet, I fail so often.

 

[MissCris]

And too, we tend to go by man's standards of worth rather than God's.

This- part of my point. Humans obviously can't value each other in the same ways God values us. But Christians claim everyone has worth, and then some of us turn around and do everything we can to belittle someone whose value we can't see on the surface. We tend to make a snap judgment that the person who looks sad or the person who seems rude is of lesser worth than the person who smiled and said good morning.





And Molly- Your question: I wasn't trying to personally call anyone out in my OP, so I'd rather not name the person. Really, I shouldn't have mentioned it at all, though I don't blame you for being curious.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

And too, we tend to go by man's standards of worth rather than God's.

Yes, that's very true, and that all the more seems to support how subjectively we approach things when you consider that people interpret God's standard differently (effectively making it their standard, ironically).

 

[Galahad]

Hello! I think for me personally I find people who are friendly much better Christians than I am. I've always been told that Christians need to be friendly and outgoing. So I feel really bad about myself because I'm naturally shy and introverted. So friendliness is definitely a quality I find valuable in others.

I also like when people are positive and hardly worry. I guess because I myself worry and think negatively about myself a lot of the time. So I find the qualities that I want, are the ones I find most useful in other people. Which is wrong of me because I know that there are others like myself who are shy and introverted, that can bring a lot to the table.

I suppose it's because we are humans and imperfect, we tend to bring others down to try and make ourselves feel better. It's such a horrible truth, but true nonetheless.

Who is the member that rains on everyone's parade?

MC, you might find that you are more of a one to one person. That is, you feel somewhat uncomfortable with crowds. Okay. So you may then be more open or able to converse with others in small settings. Like with 1, 2, or 3 friends.

Now, you might perceive that everyone else in the crowd is comfortable with themselves. They are confident. They are secure. They are this and that. Some folks definitely are. But the majority are not.

You are different from others. We all are unique. Some folks try to be notable, though they are timid or shy even. So they mimic others. Got to dress this way. Got to have this purse. Etc.

You don't seem like that sort of person. That's good.

What you must realize is that as you experience more in life, you will build skills and find interests. You will eventually find or discover talents and gifts even though you remain to the side.

Of all the apostles, there are about 4 that standout. Peter: Just out there. John: Observant. Careful. Intense. Judas Iscariot: off base, selfish. Paul: Wow! Amazing! Caring. Passionate. Loves the Lord. And many other things.

Redefine your shyness. Or try to understand it. What is it you are drawing back from, if anything?

You don't have to be the ringleader to be a servant. Find time to spend with other people in one on one situations. Begin by visiting an elderly woman in your church. Just ask if you can come over and visit. That sort of thing. Look for opportunities to invite someone to have an informal lunch with you.

In the market, look the cashier in the eye and smile and just say thank you, have a good day. And other such things.

You will at times get tongue tied, you will say silly things. But go with it. I said something in class years ago in college. Man, people started laughing. The teacher to. I thought my idea was great. Well the students and teacher were laughing. I went along with it and extended my comment to increase the laughter. I felt better. Had I thought: My ideas are stupid. I am not fit for this, how much different I would have felt.

Just don't feel bad because you are shy. Okay. But try to use your quite spirit and personal gifts and meek personality to help others.
Practice, find opportunities to build your communication skills with others. And laugh at yourself when you make a mistake. Capitalize on it when others may chuckle or laugh. It disarms insults and releases frustration.

And know, believe that you are ever so valuable to the Lord.

 

[MissCris]

More thoughts on this...

Not long after starting this thread, my views about everyone being worth something were tested. How do you look at someone who clearly enjoys being antagonistic and arrogant and see their value as a human being?

Sometimes it's very, very difficult to walk away from an argument and not tell myself that the person lashing out at everyone is just kind of worthless. That's the easy way out of having to face whatever it is In Me that makes me feel that way. I've always thought (well, for a long time, anyway) that the way someone treats, speaks to/about, or even thinks about other people says a lot more about Them personally than it does about the other people.

What does it say about Me when I walk away from an extremely difficult person thinking, What a worthless person?
Is there ever a time when that's true?

I dunno, just thinking out loud, sort of.

 

[wisebeardman]

I have a value of $0.00

 

[Galahad]

I have a value of $0.00

That's more than my value... I actually owe God for my existence! My value is a deficit. Yep. I am worth a negative one thousand dollars. That's -$1000.00

So even if I gain a thousand worth dollars. I'll still be valueless!

Beardsman, why did you say you have a value of 0.00?

Everyone is valuable to the Lord. That includes you.

 

[Hellooo]

More thoughts on this...

Not long after starting this thread, my views about everyone being worth something were tested. How do you look at someone who clearly enjoys being antagonistic and arrogant and see their value as a human being?

Sometimes it's very, very difficult to walk away from an argument and not tell myself that the person lashing out at everyone is just kind of worthless. That's the easy way out of having to face whatever it is In Me that makes me feel that way. I've always thought (well, for a long time, anyway) that the way someone treats, speaks to/about, or even thinks about other people says a lot more about Them personally than it does about the other people.

What does it say about Me when I walk away from an extremely difficult person thinking, What a worthless person?
Is there ever a time when that's true?

I dunno, just thinking out loud, sort of.

You know, the thing that gives me some semblance of peace when interacting with someone who enjoys antagonizing others, or someone who loves to be a victim, is that eventually their own act will grow old to them. I *try* to remain factual and neutral, and avoid reacting defensively, because a) their behavior isn't a reflection of your value, and b) I don't want to be sucked into that whole negative vibe.
It's just toxic to engage that kind of behavior.

Right there with you MissCris!

 

[zeroturbulence]

I have a value of $0.00

Is that US or Canadian?

 

[blue_ladybug]

I've seen it said time and again throughout this forum that God sees the value, or worth, in everyone. All of us. From the rich executive with the seemingly perfect life, down to the homeless man begging on the street corner. From the bubbly, outgoing woman who greets and talks to everyone at church, to the weird kid dressed all in black who keeps his head down and sits in the back pew.

Everyone, in God's eyes, is worth something.

So I'm wondering...I guess...why it so often seems that we-Christians- want to strip some people of that worth? Why we pick and choose which traits in a person have value, and feel free to make a joke of anyone without those chosen qualities?

I think we've all seen it happen- and I think we've all done it to some degree to people we come across. A recent example within this forum would be a certain member who likes to...er...rain on everyone's parade. Another recent example, the thread about happy people being more attractive. Why is it that people (myself included) have this need to tear others down, whether it's a specific person, or a whole group?

What is it that makes someone valuable in others' eyes?
And what is it that makes it acceptable for anyone to try to negate that worth?

I don't really expect answers to my questions, but rather, people's thoughts/experiences/opinions.

This- part of my point. Humans obviously can't value each other in the same ways God values us. But Christians claim everyone has worth, and then some of us turn around and do everything we can to belittle someone whose value we can't see on the surface. We tend to make a snap judgment that the person who looks sad or the person who seems rude is of lesser worth than the person who smiled and said good morning.





And Molly- Your question I wasn't trying to personally call anyone out in my OP, so I'd rather not name the person. Really I shouldn't have mentioned it at all, though I don't blame you for being curious.

​Then maybe you should ask a mod to delete the part of your OP that I highlighted in red.. just a suggestion..

 

[MissCris]

​Then maybe you should ask a mod to delete the part of your OP that I highlighted in red.. just a suggestion..

Thank you, I do appreciate the suggestion. Though as nobody Was mentioned by name, I think it can stay.