Hey everyone,
Since we've been talking so much about how to develop "skillzzz" for communicating with the opposite gender, I was wondering, what advice or examples can you share about complimenting the opposite gender?
For example... While I very much appreciate sincere compliments about looks (as most people do), the compliments I treasure most have to do with character and ethics. I've had a few times when a male co-worker will give me a looks-based compliment and while I appreciate it and say thank-you, sometimes what I really wish I'd hear is, "You're really responsible," "People can count on you," and "You're great to work with."
I know that probably seems bland and boring and it's not that I DON'T like compliments based on looks, but what makes me uneasy is when a guy will say something along the lines of, "You're really pretty," and I'll say, "Thanks, but if you compliment me too much I'll get a big head and think I can just stand around looking cute," (I'm partially joking and partially curious as to how they'll answer), and some guys will say, "Well, you look good enough that it doesn't matter."
To be honest, I always feel uncomfortable with this because I try very hard to be the opposite--I've never really been known for looks but I always try my best to work hard and that's what I'd rather be known for.
On the flip side, when I compliment guys, it's almost always regarding character, ethics, or morals. For some reason, I feel uncomfortable saying something like, "I think you're really handsome"--it's a great compliment, just one I'm not at ease saying because I feel like it puts all the emphasis on looks. (Actually, guys... if we women DO compliment looks, what would you prefer to be called... Handsome? Cute? Drop-dead gorgeous?)
I tend to say something like, "I can always tell when you've worked because the department is clean and organized," "I hear the way you talk to the other guys and it's really nice to hear someone say something encouraging," or "I really appreciate that you don't shout out obscenities when working."
I DO give some looks-based compliments but it's always geared toward a specific feature: "You have amazing eyes", or "I think it's inspiring that you obviously take care of yourself. Do you have any tips on a fitness routine?" Yes, I realize these probably sound like cheesy pickup lines but I honestly mean them to be sincere and genuine.
And so, I would love to learn how to give better and more meaningful compliments. Do you have any advice?
What are the best compliments you've given or received yourself?
Since we've been talking so much about how to develop "skillzzz" for communicating with the opposite gender, I was wondering, what advice or examples can you share about complimenting the opposite gender?
For example... While I very much appreciate sincere compliments about looks (as most people do), the compliments I treasure most have to do with character and ethics. I've had a few times when a male co-worker will give me a looks-based compliment and while I appreciate it and say thank-you, sometimes what I really wish I'd hear is, "You're really responsible," "People can count on you," and "You're great to work with."
I know that probably seems bland and boring and it's not that I DON'T like compliments based on looks, but what makes me uneasy is when a guy will say something along the lines of, "You're really pretty," and I'll say, "Thanks, but if you compliment me too much I'll get a big head and think I can just stand around looking cute," (I'm partially joking and partially curious as to how they'll answer), and some guys will say, "Well, you look good enough that it doesn't matter."
To be honest, I always feel uncomfortable with this because I try very hard to be the opposite--I've never really been known for looks but I always try my best to work hard and that's what I'd rather be known for.
On the flip side, when I compliment guys, it's almost always regarding character, ethics, or morals. For some reason, I feel uncomfortable saying something like, "I think you're really handsome"--it's a great compliment, just one I'm not at ease saying because I feel like it puts all the emphasis on looks. (Actually, guys... if we women DO compliment looks, what would you prefer to be called... Handsome? Cute? Drop-dead gorgeous?)
I tend to say something like, "I can always tell when you've worked because the department is clean and organized," "I hear the way you talk to the other guys and it's really nice to hear someone say something encouraging," or "I really appreciate that you don't shout out obscenities when working."
I DO give some looks-based compliments but it's always geared toward a specific feature: "You have amazing eyes", or "I think it's inspiring that you obviously take care of yourself. Do you have any tips on a fitness routine?" Yes, I realize these probably sound like cheesy pickup lines but I honestly mean them to be sincere and genuine.
And so, I would love to learn how to give better and more meaningful compliments. Do you have any advice?
What are the best compliments you've given or received yourself?
