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C
It was just a hypothetical question. It's not like I have guys lining up to go out with me. LOL And I'm not interested in anyone right now. Just wanted to know for the future. 
Oh... and I found out I'm too short... maybe a guy shorter than me won't hold my height against me... it was this thread's theme after all, wasnt it?
That would be scary... and even more confusing... hehehehe
Also guys, if asking a girl out makes you nervous, just be casual about it.
Ask her out in an off-handed way, and make sure it's something simple... so there's no pressure.
"Hey girl. Wassup? Yeah, well, I just happen to have a couple of tickets with Virgin Galactic on their new spaceship thing. Yeah, just a little trip up to the International Space Station, and then a couple of quick orbits around the moon... no big deal really... and ya know... I'm not using one of the tickets... and... just thought you might like to come hang out. No pressure or anything. If you don't wanna go, I can probably sell the ticket and get my house back."
Ask her out in an off-handed way, and make sure it's something simple... so there's no pressure.
"Hey girl. Wassup? Yeah, well, I just happen to have a couple of tickets with Virgin Galactic on their new spaceship thing. Yeah, just a little trip up to the International Space Station, and then a couple of quick orbits around the moon... no big deal really... and ya know... I'm not using one of the tickets... and... just thought you might like to come hang out. No pressure or anything. If you don't wanna go, I can probably sell the ticket and get my house back."
U
Also, my gf now (and even some in the past, and some i haven't dated) made their interests very clear. And some have even put it right out there by stating it directly. Only ones i rejected were ones i wasn't interested in to begin with. As another posted above said, different guys have a different need for what constitutes a 'green light'. Me? You pretty much have to hit me in the face with the stop light while it's glowing green. Even if i feel pretty certain someone was interested i always have a lingering doubt that i may be wrong. And some women i thought were putting it out there, and i was wrong. Really if you're going to look into dating at all, it's not easy. Men do things their way. Women do things theirs. And everyone has their own tweaks and baggage and whatnot. Just accept that it's going to be trouble, rather than expect people to suddenly function the way you 'think' they should.
M
Keep in mind that I mean these answers to come nicely and that I do not wish to start an argument.
My Pastor says that men should make the first move. Charles Stanley, Dannah Gresh and Paul Washer have preached on these topics. My mom and grandmother have also instilled this thinking in me. I guess you're right about the old-fashioned thing. But it is commonly known that being old-fashioned means that women don't usually ask men out.
Yes, it is hard for either a man or a woman to ask the other out. But that's why God made you men the leaders in the family unit, not the women.
If I don't show interest, it means just that, I'm not interested. That's all. Why would a woman show interest if she doesn't want the guy?
I know that dating is difficult. And I don't expect for others to practice it the way I think it should be done.
My Pastor says that men should make the first move. Charles Stanley, Dannah Gresh and Paul Washer have preached on these topics. My mom and grandmother have also instilled this thinking in me. I guess you're right about the old-fashioned thing. But it is commonly known that being old-fashioned means that women don't usually ask men out.
Yes, it is hard for either a man or a woman to ask the other out. But that's why God made you men the leaders in the family unit, not the women.
If I don't show interest, it means just that, I'm not interested. That's all. Why would a woman show interest if she doesn't want the guy?
I know that dating is difficult. And I don't expect for others to practice it the way I think it should be done.
M
I don't really get what the big deal is about women asking guys out- I mean, I'm not criticizing anyone's views here, this is just my personal opinion. Back in the day (oooh, it's fun to talk like I'm all old and stuff), I was the one to express interest in a guy fairly often, though not always. I guess it just wasn't that big a deal to me to be like, Hey, I like you, let's hang out and you'll maybe like me too. I've been rejected plenty of times, which wasn't fun, but it didn't kill me, and I don't regret it. I guess I would rather just have it out there that I liked somebody than to waste a bunch of time wondering if they liked me, if they would ever ask me out, if they thought I was crazy, whatever.
For all my awkward shyness, I was kind of shameless when I liked someone
For all my awkward shyness, I was kind of shameless when I liked someone
U
I don't know your pastor, or who Dannah Gresh is. I know the name Paul Washer, but not much else about him.
Yes, i was originally given that kind of thinking growing up as well. But i grew out of it over time and after thinking in through.
And this is the very argument that made me change my mind. The idea that asking a woman out has anything at all to do with a mans ability to be a leader of his home. As a man i see no connection. And since that seems to be the foundational argument for the concept, and i see that as an invalid argument, i see the concept as invalid. It's just a cultural standard. If a person wants to follow it, that's fine by me.
Well, quite a few women believe or are taught playing 'hard to get' is the way to get a man. Or that they are 'old fashioned' and because of that 'old fashioned' belief they believe that a woman should not show the slightest hint of interest in a man and that the man should ask anyways.
That you, and the 'show no interest because it's the right thing to do' thinkers both claim to be old fashioned in your thinking that only feeds the idea that i don't see it as a valid reason.
But again, these are my views and opinions. Just when i see people stating that the 'old fashioned' way is the right and biblical way to do things, i find it hard not to speak up.
Yes, i was originally given that kind of thinking growing up as well. But i grew out of it over time and after thinking in through.
And this is the very argument that made me change my mind. The idea that asking a woman out has anything at all to do with a mans ability to be a leader of his home. As a man i see no connection. And since that seems to be the foundational argument for the concept, and i see that as an invalid argument, i see the concept as invalid. It's just a cultural standard. If a person wants to follow it, that's fine by me.
Well, quite a few women believe or are taught playing 'hard to get' is the way to get a man. Or that they are 'old fashioned' and because of that 'old fashioned' belief they believe that a woman should not show the slightest hint of interest in a man and that the man should ask anyways.
That you, and the 'show no interest because it's the right thing to do' thinkers both claim to be old fashioned in your thinking that only feeds the idea that i don't see it as a valid reason.
But again, these are my views and opinions. Just when i see people stating that the 'old fashioned' way is the right and biblical way to do things, i find it hard not to speak up.
Molly, that is the traditional view, and it's probably what most people prefer.
But I don't think it's a biblical mandate.
I don't think a woman is forbidden to go chat up a man.
If you think about it, women usually take a lot of initiative in the "dating" department,
it's just that they PRETEND that they don't.
The girl gives all kinds of signals that she's interested, so you'll know to go talk to her.
Well, that is the WOMAN actually taking initiative.
Even in very traditional cultures, where the woman would NEVER ask a guy out, the woman is expected to "put out signals" to the guy she likes. So, she IS expected to take initiative. It's all a matter of WHAT KIND of initiative.
: )
But I don't think it's a biblical mandate.
I don't think a woman is forbidden to go chat up a man.
If you think about it, women usually take a lot of initiative in the "dating" department,
it's just that they PRETEND that they don't.
The girl gives all kinds of signals that she's interested, so you'll know to go talk to her.
Well, that is the WOMAN actually taking initiative.
Even in very traditional cultures, where the woman would NEVER ask a guy out, the woman is expected to "put out signals" to the guy she likes. So, she IS expected to take initiative. It's all a matter of WHAT KIND of initiative.
: )
T
Yep! It's good to know what to do... I still don't... but now I know that if I like a shy guy, I can ask him out for coffee and he won't hold it against me (unless, of course, he does)... and if he is not shy, then I should wait? How to know the difference is still a mistery...
Oh... and I found out I'm too short... maybe a guy shorter than me won't hold my height against me... it was this thread's theme after all, wasnt it?
That would be scary... and even more confusing... hehehehe
Oh... and I found out I'm too short... maybe a guy shorter than me won't hold my height against me... it was this thread's theme after all, wasnt it?
That would be scary... and even more confusing... hehehehe
Yep! It's good to know what to do... I still don't... but now I know that if I like a shy guy, I can ask him out for coffee and he won't hold it against me (unless, of course, he does)... and if he is not shy, then I should wait? How to know the difference is still a mistery...
Oh... and I found out I'm too short... maybe a guy shorter than me won't hold my height against me... it was this thread's theme after all, wasnt it?
That would be scary... and even more confusing... hehehehe
Oh... and I found out I'm too short... maybe a guy shorter than me won't hold my height against me... it was this thread's theme after all, wasnt it?
That would be scary... and even more confusing... hehehehe
