online dating..

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LeonM

Guest
#21
I made a promise to God when I became serious about my walk with Him and made a promise to Him about romantic relationships. I can message you about it.

I think it's also important to know that God is the leader of your life. He leads and He guides and He loves. Trusting in Him in all situations, even your love life, is important. You can roll the dice, but He determines where it falls.
(I feel sorry for you, setapartgirl. I'm honest.)
I like your last sentence shine, and I want to add: It's not only god determining your life it's also the holy ghost in you trying to tell you the determination(?) from god for your life. Another tip I learned is don't be shy but beware distance as long as you don't know someone. I also learned just to want to talk with a girl/person. I just want to trust someone, I don't need to love her/him at this point.
P.S.: god loves you all :)
 
F

Fladreaming

Guest
#22
Brand new here so hi:) Sorry to hear about your expeeiences. Meeting that special someone to share life and love with would be fantastic. Meeting that special person at church would be the ideal but of course that is not the right reason to attend. Approaching cc with that same idea is making things more comfortable. Another means to meet others for fellowship. Again, If a relationship with someone develops great. If not hopefully friendships can be formed and I can contribute positively to others.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,569
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Tennessee
#23
Brand new here so hi:) Sorry to hear about your expeeiences. Meeting that special someone to share life and love with would be fantastic. Meeting that special person at church would be the ideal but of course that is not the right reason to attend. Approaching cc with that same idea is making things more comfortable. Another means to meet others for fellowship. Again, If a relationship with someone develops great. If not hopefully friendships can be formed and I can contribute positively to others.
Relationships can definitely happen on this site as well as Christian fellowship. Welcome to CC.
 
May 25, 2015
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#24
I think relationships shouldn't be forced....whether online or in real life. If something develops, great. If it doesn't, great.

Learn to be friends with both genders. It's important. I have a healthy amount of both guys and girls as friends who are in my life because I have learned to become friends with guys.
 
Dec 1, 2014
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#25
i would like some new opinions, as a Christian, is it right to join in dating sites?

I joined before, christian dating sites, i thought i could find a Godly man there, because it is a Christian site, but all i've got is a heartbreak, some christian men are so disrespectful.

And it hit me, i should not look and search for love, i should focus on Jesus, ALL EYES ON HIM.

I learned my lesson..but i am just still hurting...i was wrong, so please i need prayers to get through this.
Stay away from us jerks. That's my advice.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
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#26
This is the hard truth for some, but not everyone is promised a husband or a wife. I know it's important to feel loved and wanted (Mazlow hierarchy of needs) but the Bible doesn't promise each person is to be married. That's not the point of life. And for me, personally, I've had to realize that. Once you do (for me) it releases such a huge burden. That doesn't mean I don't have days where I wish I had someone. Cause we all do. but knowing there's a much more greater purpose is satisfying in its own way.
I agree with this.

I'm at a point in my life where I want someone to share life with. I want to be married, but I don't believe that God says that I MUST get married, or that I'm somehow sinning if I choose to remain single. :)
 
J

JustViv

Guest
#27
I have been to online dating, speed dating and also downloading apps to meet people from my phone such as tinder, badoo, on.com, etc. and, I have been very disappointed as well. When we pray to God to request for something, we can't be sitting around or waiting for that person to drop from the sky and God says, "Here, take him/her as he/she is what I have for you to spend your life with." There are just so many nasty people or people with no good intentions out there; even if we meet them in person, in real life.

For myself, I easily trust people for what they say because I, myself mean what I say but how do we discern these people we meet out there?
 
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butterflygirl2015

Guest
#28
Being lonely isn't fun, and I feel like that feeling pushes people to online dating. I have tried it before too, and I felt as though people were not honest or genuine. Another thing I disliked about it was that you could tell some of the men on there were looking to cheat on their wives, which is sickening. Tinder, PlentyofFish, OKcupid... all have reputations, so I say why not join a club or a group in your area and see if you can meet someone that way instead? You run too many risks when you use online dating sites.
 
K

Kaneki

Guest
#29
Of course we have a part in finding someone, while it's true that God has put a path ready for us, that we should try to follow, there is still a lot that we ourselves need to do. We need to follow God's path, but at the same time we need to take our time to do what we enjoy, which for example, can be to find someone to enjoy spending our time with. Be it online or in real.

I see nothing wrong with finding someone online and start dating them there.In many aspects, I would actually encourage people to start dating online, when you date someone online.You'll have to learn to build trust towards that person, you learn to build a strong bond and you learn to communicate.Many young people today, are more all about the physical stuff, rushing it way too much. But if you start online, you'll learn to strengthen what a lot of relationships lack, which is honesty and communication.

I have met a lot of great people online, whom I love spending time to talk to, both male and female. Though I have still to meet a person whom I'd date.

But I am not really looking either, I'm sure when the time is right, I'll find the person, be it online or in real. Just don't rush it or try to force on a relationship.
 
K

Kaneki

Guest
#30
Being lonely isn't fun, and I feel like that feeling pushes people to online dating. I have tried it before too, and I felt as though people were not honest or genuine. Another thing I disliked about it was that you could tell some of the men on there were looking to cheat on their wives, which is sickening. Tinder, PlentyofFish, OKcupid... all have reputations, so I say why not join a club or a group in your area and see if you can meet someone that way instead? You run too many risks when you use online dating sites.
That is true, being lonely can for many people be a big challenge.
People tend to get kinda desperate to have someone in their life, which I find sad.
But for some people, it's of course necessary to have someone to talk to and spend their time with.
Sadly a lot of people tend to want to take advantage of those poor people..
Which makes it all even worse.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#31
i would like some new opinions, as a Christian, is it right to join in dating sites?

I joined before, christian dating sites, i thought i could find a Godly man there, because it is a Christian site, but all i've got is a heartbreak, some christian men are so disrespectful.

And it hit me, i should not look and search for love, i should focus on Jesus, ALL EYES ON HIM.

I learned my lesson..but i am just still hurting...i was wrong, so please i need prayers to get through this.
There is nothing sinful about a dating site. It's just another venue to meet.

I think it is wise to exercise discretion though. The internet can attract a certain class of heartbreaker. I've been hurt once by one of them as well.

I'll pray for you. :)
 
S

setapartgirl

Guest
#32
There is nothing sinful about a dating site. It's just another venue to meet.

I think it is wise to exercise discretion though. The internet can attract a certain class of heartbreaker. I've been hurt once by one of them as well.

I'll pray for you. :)

Thank you i just been hurt. Bad.... (
 
A

Abing

Guest
#33
Nothing wrong with it. But it's not for everyone :)
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
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#34
Online dating RARELY IF EVER, works out. Get off the dating sites, delete the apps, and meet people the old fashioned way..In person, not online through Skype or Yahoo or some stupid app. :/
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#35
i would like some new opinions, as a Christian, is it right to join in dating sites?

I joined before, christian dating sites, i thought i could find a Godly man there, because it is a Christian site, but all i've got is a heartbreak, some christian men are so disrespectful.

And it hit me, i should not look and search for love, i should focus on Jesus, ALL EYES ON HIM.

I learned my lesson..but i am just still hurting...i was wrong, so please i need prayers to get through this.
There isn't any prohibition in scripture about dating sites, and we do have a great deal of "liberty" in Christ.

Statistically, somewhere between 30%-50% of couples that marry are meeting online now.
(Statistics vary depending on the source, and "online" doesn't necessarily mean a dating site.)

People have always met through socializing in various ways, or through friend and family networks etc.
Well, now this kind of socializing and networking is happening more online.
It's just a new way to do what people have always done.

I can't see that joining a dating site is either good or bad.
I don't think it matters.

However, I DO think it matters that you spend a lot of time with someone IN PERSON when developing a serious relationship.
So if you meet someone online, that's fine... but there's really no way to get to know somebody well enough for marriage unless you spend a lot of time with them in person.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#36
There isn't any prohibition in scripture about dating sites, and we do have a great deal of "liberty" in Christ.

Statistically, somewhere between 30%-50% of couples that marry are meeting online now.
(Statistics vary depending on the source, and "online" doesn't necessarily mean a dating site.)

People have always met through socializing in various ways, or through friend and family networks etc.
Well, now this kind of socializing and networking is happening more online.
It's just a new way to do what people have always done.

I can't see that joining a dating site is either good or bad.
I don't think it matters.

However, I DO think it matters that you spend a lot of time with someone IN PERSON when developing a serious relationship.
So if you meet someone online, that's fine... but there's really no way to get to know somebody well enough for marriage unless you spend a lot of time with them in person.
This.

I found my fiance online... it took over 400 tries, but I finally found her. And I'm not joking either, I tried to talk to over 400 women. Those are just the ones I bothered to write to or communicate with. I probably went through 800-1000 profiles.

After finding her, we went on quite a few dates... a lot of time spent on the phone in between the dates too.

A relationship requires a lot of face to face communication - period. No skype nonsense etc - you need to see the real person in their native environment.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#37
This is the hard truth for some, but not everyone is promised a husband or a wife. I know it's important to feel loved and wanted (Mazlow hierarchy of needs) but the Bible doesn't promise each person is to be married. That's not the point of life. And for me, personally, I've had to realize that. Once you do (for me) it releases such a huge burden. That doesn't mean I don't have days where I wish I had someone. Cause we all do. but knowing there's a much more greater purpose is satisfying in its own way.
Trust me there is still hope for you as you are only 24 years old and still in school....Now if you were 60 like me....then maybe you were to remain single.... but you are only 24 and still plenty of life left in you for a marriage possibility.... don't throw in the towel yet.... You know I care about you jsr from our Speak area.....just trying to encourage you young one....
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#38
You are only 26.....young ones these days seem to give up too quickly....jmo..... Not really talking about online dating but just relationships in general or the idea of marriage..... Guys and gals have to be open to relationships put feelers out and date once in awhile to see if it fits or not.... If not move on there are plenty of people out there.

If you would rather build a career then do that but just don't give up so easily on relationships....back in my younger days we talked face to face with each other and would go on dates and take chances sometimes it was good and sometimes you walked away.... But chances have to be given on both sides to find out if there might be a match.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#39
I agree with this.

I'm at a point in my life where I want someone to share life with. I want to be married, but I don't believe that God says that I MUST get married, or that I'm somehow sinning if I choose to remain single. :)
At least you are closer to 40 and have experience under you belt.... but don't give up either because I got married last year at 59 from an online relationship to tourist right here on CC.... When God is in the driver seat age doesn't matter so don't loose your desire or hope just cause the number might be climbing in your age.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#40
I joined CC for Christian fellowship in October of 2013 I had just been laid off from my job in June and in September I hooked up a notebook to internet in my house as a way to communicate with the outside world and then landed on CC in October....
I hung out in the Bible Discussion Forum and learned to develop tough skin as it can be a Battle Ground to say the least.... but that is where I spent most of my time in the beginning....

Then in March of 2014 tourist joined CC and I noticed a few of his posts and he seemed to be hanging out in the Singles Forum which was a much lighter side to CC. He personal messaged me two or three times and I wrote back but he stopped and so did I for a while. I found that we kept running into each other in different threads and I liked the way he responded and he liked the way I responded and it went that way for a while.

In July of 2014 the cat that belonged to my daughter, but her boyfriend said he was allergic to which meant I was taking care of her cat had to be put to sleep and I was devastated posting about it and tourist came and hung out in my sorrowful posting about the cat and he started personal messaging me again....long story short we gave out email addresses, mail addresses and phone numbers and started getting to know one another....

I did everything wrong that you are not suppose to do because I had been single for 35 years (was 59) and had chased off a lot of men in my day and had given up on dating ever again... So I started telling him everything and I mean everything that was wrong with me and that I had ever done wrong in my life....trying to chase him away.... Instead of chasing him away he then opened up to me and told me all his wrongs..... Which in the end we both knew just exactly what we were getting into....lol

The really nice thing about it was that we were both truthful and totally honest with each other... So that when we finally met face to face we were very comfortable with each other and knew so much already..... I don't know if you young kids would be brave enough to do it or not.... But I tell you I did everything you are not suppose to do and for us it worked.....lol

tourist moved over to Clearwater from Apopka, we got married November 27, 2014.... He's working I stay home and we are as happy as can be and met right here on CC and no it is not a dating site... but it was online.... There is hope and yes there were a lot of prayers said too.... at one point I asked God.... Can I keep him? God and tourist said yes....