online dating..

setapartgirl · Sep 23, 2015

I joined CC for Christian fellowship in October of 2013 I had just been laid off from my job in June and in September I hooked up a notebook to internet in my house as a way to communicate with the outside world and then landed on CC in October....
I hung out in the Bible Discussion Forum and learned to develop tough skin as it can be a Battle Ground to say the least.... but that is where I spent most of my time in the beginning....

Then in March of 2014 tourist joined CC and I noticed a few of his posts and he seemed to be hanging out in the Singles Forum which was a much lighter side to CC. He personal messaged me two or three times and I wrote back but he stopped and so did I for a while. I found that we kept running into each other in different threads and I liked the way he responded and he liked the way I responded and it went that way for a while.

In July of 2014 the cat that belonged to my daughter, but her boyfriend said he was allergic to which meant I was taking care of her cat had to be put to sleep and I was devastated posting about it and tourist came and hung out in my sorrowful posting about the cat and he started personal messaging me again....long story short we gave out email addresses, mail addresses and phone numbers and started getting to know one another....

I did everything wrong that you are not suppose to do because I had been single for 35 years (was 59) and had chased off a lot of men in my day and had given up on dating ever again... So I started telling him everything and I mean everything that was wrong with me and that I had ever done wrong in my life....trying to chase him away.... Instead of chasing him away he then opened up to me and told me all his wrongs..... Which in the end we both knew just exactly what we were getting into....lol

The really nice thing about it was that we were both truthful and totally honest with each other... So that when we finally met face to face we were very comfortable with each other and knew so much already..... I don't know if you young kids would be brave enough to do it or not.... But I tell you I did everything you are not suppose to do and for us it worked.....lol

tourist moved over to Clearwater from Apopka, we got married November 27, 2014.... He's working I stay home and we are as happy as can be and met right here on CC and no it is not a dating site... but it was online.... There is hope and yes there were a lot of prayers said too.... at one point I asked God.... Can I keep him? God and tourist said yes....

I am happy for you sir! I am just 28 but i am panicking too much to get a mate right?because of peer pressure. I shouldn't be in the first place.

shineyourlight · Sep 23, 2015

JesusLives said:

You got that from me saying "THIS"?

I agree with what you're saying and my comment wasn't saying otherwise. Who said anything about giving up? I definitely did not say that not does my heart believe that. I just don't think everyone is going to be married. Some people are called to singleness. Just because I believe that doesn't mean I have "given up." I get this from what Paul talks about in the Bible.

shineyourlight · Sep 23, 2015

shineyourlight said:

You got that from me saying "THIS"?

I agree with what you're saying and my comment wasn't saying otherwise. Who said anything about giving up? I definitely did not say that not does my heart believe that. I just don't think everyone is going to be married. Some people are called to singleness. Just because I believe that doesn't mean I have "given up." I get this from what Paul talks about in the Bible.

*nor does my heart.

Not "not."

setapartgirl · Sep 24, 2015

ServantStrike said:

I am happy that you are happy, you found the one, but i feel sad for those 300 plus girls though they may feel same way like i do right now, well maybe, somethings are not meant to be.

ServantStrike · Sep 24, 2015

setapartgirl said:

I never led any of those women on, there is no reason to feel sad for them. I didn't toy with anyone's emotions - I acted the same way I do here (and as I do everywhere).

I can tell you more then a few of them led me on. God had other plans, for which I am glad. He taught me an extra dose of patience during my search, and He reminded me of the hardness of the heart, as well as the cavalier attitude most people have towards the feelings of others.

shineyourlight said:

I always held to the mind set that only the strongest can stay single for life. I don't hold to that as much any more, but the single life has some unique challenges, although so does the married life.

I would say that given your profile picture and your age, there isn't any reason you should remain single forever. Make it a priority to get out and see new people and new places, etc, and that problem will resolve itself.

shineyourlight · Sep 24, 2015

ServantStrike said:

I get out constantly, have friends, and meet new people all the time. Who said, "I'm going to remain single forever?" I've NEVER said that. Ever. My plan is to be married one day.

I just don't want to date right now and it's okay for me to feel that way. Why does that make me sound like I'm giving up on "love"? I don't understand why Christians feel the need to push the agenda of dating, when sometimes, a season of not dating and finding yourself is good. And that's where I'm at right now. And I'm not going to "go out and find myself a man," because Christians tell me to. I'm enjoying life as it is and I'm not miserable

I really don't understand how people are getting this from me simply saying one word in a thread. Lol.

SkittlePumpkin · Sep 24, 2015

shineyourlight said:

I get out constantly, have friends, and meet new people all the time. Who said, "I'm going to remain single forever?" I've NEVER said that. Ever. My plan is to be married one day.

I just don't want to date right now and it's okay for me to feel that way. Why does that make me sound like I'm giving up on "love"? I don't understand why Christians feel the need to push the agenda of dating, when sometimes, a season of not dating and finding yourself is good. And that's where I'm at right now. And I'm not going to "go out and find myself a man," because Christians tell me to. I'm enjoying life as it is and I'm not miserable

I really don't understand how people are getting this from me simply saying one word in a thread. Lol.

YES. You go girl

jsr1221 · Sep 24, 2015

shineyourlight said:

Because a lot of Christians feel it's part of God's Will for marriage. Very, very few people have actually sat down and said " Okay God. If you want me to meet someone, you will show me him (or her, for guys) in Your time. I don't need to keep asking You, because You know my heart. You know what I think. If You feel I am meant to be married or in a relationship, I know You will let me know that when You feel I'm ready. In the meanwhile, I just want to be the best person I can be under you, Lord." People say they're okay with being single, but yet they constantly pray each and every night for a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend. That doesn't make you happy. The only happiness we get is through Jesus Christ. No spouse. No boyfriend/girlfriend. No job. No money. No cars. No homes. No TV. Jesus Christ is what brings us happiness. I actually had this same discussion with a friend earlier today.

shineyourlight · Sep 24, 2015

shineyourlight said:

I get out constantly, have friends, and meet new people all the time. Who said, "I'm going to remain single forever?" I've NEVER said that. Ever. My plan is to be married one day.

I just don't want to date right now and it's okay for me to feel that way. Why does that make me sound like I'm giving up on "love"? I don't understand why Christians feel the need to push the agenda of dating, when sometimes, a season of not dating and finding yourself is good. And that's where I'm at right now. And I'm not going to "go out and find myself a man," because Christians tell me to. I'm enjoying life as it is and I'm not miserable

I really don't understand how people are getting this from me simply saying one word in a thread. Lol.

Oh, and BTW, Servant, I do appreciate your concern and your advice

Ahwatukee · Sep 24, 2015

Hi SkittlePumpkin,

You are the living version of God's promise that he will never flood the earth again

setapartgirl · Sep 25, 2015

shineyourlight said:

Exactly sis, if we will push it, then its not yet in God's time, it well just messed up, we will be messed up, our biological clock is ticking,we know that, but yeah look at me, i did it on my own because people around me is pushing me to look for a man because i am already 28, but look at me now, broken hearted, i know part of loving is getting hurt, but still we will get hurt all over again if we did it on our own, our heart will be broken and there will be nothing left for the right person God intended us to give, i attended a symposium just now in our church, tittled, WHY WAIT BUT WHY NOT WAIT? I am so blessed after hearing those powerful sermons, and sis yeah i agree with you, we just need to wait, God knows what is the best for us, not the people around us, they are concerned yeah but let's wait!! )

shineyourlight · Sep 25, 2015

setapartgirl said:

I'm not single because I'm scared of being broken hearted. Sigh.

God will heal your wounds, setapartgirl, but that's not what I"m saying at all for me. Lol You're going to get hurt in life, but you need to continue putting yourself out there. When you decide to pull away from everyone, you break up the body of Christ because you are part of that.

You and I are saying two different things. But, I am sorry that you've been hurt!

On that note, I'm done with this thread. I don't think people are understanding what I'm trying to say.

jsr1221 · Sep 25, 2015

No where in the Bible does it say we are meant to be in a relationship. Yes, I know it's important to feel wanted. We all do. But each and every single one of us is a screwed up human being, and we will continue to be so and will continue to fail each other. Instead of focusing on finding another screwed up human being to try and fix your life, look at God and His Word to transform you. Cause then, and only then, will He show you to a relationship, if He feels one is for you. There is no need to keep asking for one. No need to keep praying for one. Because some people spend their whole lives looking for something that isn't there, and that becomes a wasted life.

MrOhAllRight · Oct 22, 2015

no need to pay for rejection its free at Church

Desdichado · Oct 22, 2015

MrOhAllRight said:

I've found church to be a wasp nest when it comes to dating. A man has to do a bit of shopping.

garet82 · Oct 22, 2015

Well, we should realize if christian online chat isnt dating site n not all in here are christians. But i think its find to make friends as many as we can, sharing or encourage friends.
Ppl can find "the one" here or in other dating online.
But most of all in everywhere we are, we shouldnt focus n think if we do online chat coz of find "the one". That is bad step intention to start everything coz we can get dissapointed easily if we cant find "your one" here online.
Enjoy the time of sharing n encouragement with our brothers n sisters here.

chancer · Oct 22, 2015

Jesus is the most relational person I know

Shawn2516 · Oct 22, 2015

I think online dating is great in the initial stages of the relationship because you can't jump into bed with that person right away like a lot of men and women do. Studies show the sooner you have sex with a person before really getting to know them, the more your relationship will be artificial and break-up because its based on a intense emotion of lust.

Online dating is a nice-screen barrier that actually prevents this process and forces you to get to know the one your talking to first. This means since sex is off the table, your more interested in the person themselves than the act of possible intimacy.

However, online dating does have its problems. For women, they get a whole list of guys constantly pm'ing them for sex and then there is nice-guys but are easily passed by as undesirables. Then you have to worry about keeping a almost constant connection with someone you cannot see face to face. If things progress further, then you have to deal with a lack of physical closeness to your partner, and ultimately someone has to pack up and move everything they know and love to be with you.

Online dating has a high cost to pay, especially if its another country, and I don't think a lot of people realize this. I can't say I disapprove of online dating, because its how I met my wife. She is truly a christian and truly God's gift and I couldn't be happier without her. So even inspite the high cost, she was totally worth it.

tourist · Oct 22, 2015

Shawn2516 said:

I think online dating is great in the initial stages of the relationship because you can't jump into bed with that person right away like a lot of men and women do. Studies show the sooner you have sex with a person before really getting to know them, the more your relationship will be artificial and break-up because its based on a intense emotion of lust.

Online dating is a nice-screen barrier that actually prevents this process and forces you to get to know the one your talking to first. This means since sex is off the table, your more interested in the person themselves than the act of possible intimacy.

However, online dating does have its problems. For women, they get a whole list of guys constantly pm'ing them for sex and then there is nice-guys but are easily passed by as undesirables. Then you have to worry about keeping a almost constant connection with someone you cannot see face to face. If things progress further, then you have to deal with a lack of physical closeness to your partner, and ultimately someone has to pack up and move everything they know and love to be with you.

Online dating has a high cost to pay, especially if its another country, and I don't think a lot of people realize this. I can't say I disapprove of online dating, because its how I met my wife. She is truly a christian and truly God's gift and I couldn't be happier without her. So even inspite the high cost, she was totally worth it.

I agree with your perception of online dating. I met my wife on this site and she is totally worth it too. We are both very happy and God occupies the center of our marriage. God is love.

blondieindahouse · Oct 22, 2015

Shawn2516 said:

I think online dating is great in the initial stages of the relationship because you can't jump into bed with that person right away like a lot of men and women do. Studies show the sooner you have sex with a person before really getting to know them, the more your relationship will be artificial and break-up because its based on a intense emotion of lust.

Online dating is a nice-screen barrier that actually prevents this process and forces you to get to know the one your talking to first. This means since sex is off the table, your more interested in the person themselves than the act of possible intimacy.

However, online dating does have its problems. For women, they get a whole list of guys constantly pm'ing them for sex and then there is nice-guys but are easily passed by as undesirables. Then you have to worry about keeping a almost constant connection with someone you cannot see face to face. If things progress further, then you have to deal with a lack of physical closeness to your partner, and ultimately someone has to pack up and move everything they know and love to be with you.

Online dating has a high cost to pay, especially if its another country, and I don't think a lot of people realize this. I can't say I disapprove of online dating, because its how I met my wife. She is truly a christian and truly God's gift and I couldn't be happier without her. So even inspite the high cost, she was totally worth it.

Im thankful you two found each other.
It is good for a man to find a godly woman

Proverbs 31:10
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

online dating..

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