This article highlights one of the most prominent reasons why I've been single for such a long time. Now, there are some very Godly men out there who stick to their beliefs (and are often the target of a lot of grief because of it), and I appreciate them greatly, but all too often I run into things like this:
1. The 40-something who told me his ex-wife used to bribe him with sex, then looked straight at me and said, "And I would LOVE it if you tried to bribe me." (This is why I call myself the Queen of First Dates. I have nothing more to say to someone after something like that.)
2. The 40-something guy who commented to me (as we were looking at a staged display of home appliances, etc.) "Oh look, it's a PORN shower!" (I don't watch porn--not because I'm somehow above it--but what I mean is, I had no idea what he was referring to.) But I really wasn't interested in someone who seemed to know all about them. (That wasn't the only reason, as I know a lot of Christian men struggle with porn. There was also the fact that he thought I wasn't worthy of him because of my job apparently wasn't impressive enough... and several other issues...)
3. The 30-something who, while on the date, told me about how he would drive an hour and a half to his old church because he liked it there so much. As soon as we both got home from the date, he texted me, asking, "How soon do you think two people can start having sex after they start dating?" ARGH.
4. The 30-something who was raised in church but told me he spent his weekends on internet sites looking for one-night stands.
(I included rough ages because some people assume these things only happen with certain generations.) I was reading an assumption in another thread that people in their 50's were "probably not part of the dating scene" and wouldn't know about these things, but this is absolutely false in some locations, as far as I've seen. I've spent the past 4 years living near retirement communities that have extremely active singles communities (due to death, divorce, etc.) and more social events available than what I've ever seen offered for my own age group (because many of these people have more time, and sometimes money, to devote to dating.)
It can be really tough to stick to one's guns, and it's certainly not because I'm some holier-than-thou person... absolutely not. It's just that I'm rather practical and have a tendency to think of consequences.
So besides the fact that you're not only disobeying God (which, as Christians, of course, is our number-one motivating factor), there's also the terror of STD's (I've known a few people who never got tested for anything and didn't want to know but continued to move on to person after person, preferring ignorance to responsibility), unplanned pregnancies, emotional heartache, the loss of your reputation, and, nowadays, having someone secretly videotape or take pictures of you on their phone--and literally sharing it with the world.
Can you imagine walking into a meeting... and everyone there has seen your "picture" or "tape" because you had a moment of weakness with some colleague?
And yet we see it happening everyday. I just hope I can be strong enough to keep clinging on to God and walking a narrow (but admittedly often lonely) path.