The Nice Guy

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blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#141
Feb 21, 2014
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#141
nw2u said:
There was no insinuation in my reply. It was clear and called out something I read. If I misinterpreted, he will respond with an explanation.
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His reply was a pun. :) This thread OP is about "nice" guys. Tourist responded with, "you gave a "nice" explanation." There was no picking on Molly, going on. Myself and others here know tourist fairly well, and he's not one to mock somebody..
 
N

nw2u

Guest
#142
#142
blue_ladybug said:
His reply was a pun. :) This thread OP is about "nice" guys. Tourist responded with, "you gave a "nice" explanation." There was no picking on Molly, going on. Myself and others here know tourist fairly well, and he's not one to mock somebody..
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What did the pun mean?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#146
Mar 13, 2014
42,439
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Tennessee
#146
nw2u said:
There was no insinuation in my reply. It was clear and called out something I read. If I misinterpreted, he will respond with an explanation.
Click to expand...
Well, this is the nice guy thread so I said, in fun, that her explanations were 'nice'. Molly is a sweet person and one of my favorite members. Thank you Lynx and Lady Blue for your kind response. I guess that I was just trying to be a 'nice' guy. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? :)
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#147
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
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#147
PopClick said:
A couple of things jump out at me from your posts. You will not be able to find a good balance of nice vs pushover or kind vs jerky if you are trying to determine what women want and using their desires as some kind of measuring stick or goal. Do your best to be what God wants you to be, and any reasonable woman will want nothing else for or from you. I know that being what God wants you to be is easier said than done, but it seems to me that you're largely overthinking it because you're approaching it from the "how do I be what women want" angle. But of course that's a confusing thing to figure out, because every woman wants something different... and besides, women (humans in general, because humans are flawed and sinful, but I say women because of the context) will sometimes want things that are selfish or unreasonable. That doesn't mean that you should do or become that thing just because it is what a woman wants.

But all of this honestly is more simple than it seems... generally speaking, we know what is good and right and pure and proper. If we don't, we ask God for wisdom. And there are a ton of specifics in the bible, too: Be slow to speak and slow to anger, but quick to listen. Be patient. Kind. Do not seek your own, so do not be manipulative or selfish. If you notice selfishness in something you do, take it to God. Ask Him to change you. If you notice pride? Do the same thing. Any one of various other fleshly attitudes? Do the same thing. Be conscious of your actions and ask God to search your heart and make your motives right. God will answer prayers for personal growth. He wants us to be what He told us to be, and He will absolutely help us do it. And maybe there's even someone in your life that you trust, an older guy at church perhaps, that you could ask for input or advice about what to work on.



I am going to be blunt here: if you think this book is responsible for the recent changes in your attitude, then I think you should throw it in the trash. There's a reason why you are not at peace with the latest version of yourself.
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Yeah. We have CR at church, and I just got a sponsor. I think that's going to help out a lot. And thanks, I have stopped reading the book. It looked interesting, at first, but with grad school starting in 11 days, it's unnecessary stuff to be focusing on.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#148
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#148
nw2u said:
There was no insinuation in my reply. It was clear and called out something I read. If I misinterpreted, he will respond with an explanation.
Click to expand...
The smiley face at the end of Tourist's post means he was being playful and gentle at heart, which is fully inline with what Tourist always brings to the Table, that being God's love.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#149
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#149
tourist said:
Well, this is the nice guy thread so I said, in fun, that her explanations were 'nice'. Molly is a sweet person and one of my favorite members. Thank you Lynx and Lady Blue for your kind response. I guess that I was just trying to be a 'nice' guy. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? :)
Click to expand...
Dude! Get with the program. Being nice was so, yesterday. :p
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#152
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
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#152


This is a picture of a nice guy.....How does Blond know? Cause she married him and he is one of the funniest, kindest, nicest guys I have ever met......He makes me laugh and brings me joy and we loves each other bunches....Cause it is easy to love a nice guy.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#153
Aug 13, 2014
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#153
I don't have a habit of making mental pictures of people I know online, but if I had made one of tourist it would have been something like that. His face fits the personality that comes through in his posts.

And yes, that is a good thing. :)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#154
Apr 18, 2013
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#154
PoetMary said:
Actually, in terms of analysis, this IS relativism. In literary criticism the idea that "everyone's meaning is valid" usually falls into the category of "deconstruction" or "deconstructionism."

So, person X says, "Well, this is what the word MEANS TO ME. I can't be wrong in my understanding of words because words have no inherent meaning apart from the meaning that each individual provides to the word. So, because this is what the word MEANS TO ME, the play Hamlet is primarily about the baking of chocolate chip cookies."

Here's what one deconstructionist said, "Deconstruction is not a dismantling of the structure of a text, but a demonstration that it has already dismantled itself. Its apparent solid ground is no rock, but thin air."
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Relativism is a philosophical construct regarding epistemology.

I'm just talking about how language changes, naturally, in everyday speech.


It's apples and oranges.



 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#156
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
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#156
MORE...

The simple fact I mentioned, that in language, "usage determines meaning",
is a basic axiom of linguistics.
This is something which linguistic scholars agree on.

I've been talking about LANGUAGE.
I'm not talking about PHILOSOPHY.

The linguistic axiom I mentioned has only to do with the development and usage of language,
it has NOTHING to do with the PHILOSOPHICAL CONSTRUCT of relativism.


It's apples and oranges.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#157
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
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#157
MORE #2

Where do you think dictionary definitions come from?

Dictionaries don't CREATE definitions.
A dictionary only REPORTS a definition.

So what DOES create a a definition?

YOU.
ME.
All the people USING the words.

All of us, who USE language, create the definitions of the words, as we USE them.
Dictionaries then OBSERVE how we use the words, and REPORT these OBSERVATIONS.
Dictionaries don't create definitions.
Dictionaries are CONTINUALLY UPDATED... why?
Because LANGUAGE IS CONTINUALLY CHANGING.

Poet,
Please don't turn a discussion of LINGUISTICS into a discussion about PHILOSOPHY.
They are two different things.

Linguistics covers HOW WE TALK ABOUT THINGS.
Philosophy covers HOW THINGS ACTUALLY ARE.

How we talk about things, and how things actually are... are completely different concepts, and fields of study.
 
C

cmarieh

Guest
#158
#158
The nice guy will always make you feel better, but he will have no problem standing up to you if you are in the wrong yet he will stand up and protect you.

I think of God when I say this as he is always there for us when we need him, but will correct us when we are in the wrong because he sent his son to die for our sins before we were even born. All because he loves us dearly
 
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