The real me- no really!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kaycie
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What's to know about a person? You aren't getting ss# or bank account. I think it opens a lot more of the world to get to know people. My wife and I have eaten with Tourist and JesusLives a couple of times. Without doing that, I would never have known what an absolutely humorous guy Tourist is. He will put you in stitches with the way he slides little one-liners into the conversation.... something you can never experience by simply reading the typed word.
 
Willie-T said:
What's to know about a person? You aren't getting ss# or bank account. I think it opens a lot more of the world to get to know people. My wife and I have eaten with Tourist and JesusLives a couple of times. Without doing that, I would never have known what an absolutely humorous guy Tourist is. He will put you in stitches with the way he slides little one-liners into the conversation.... something you can never experience by simply reading the typed word.
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you have eaten with mom and tourist? that is so not fair. but as for the op I can kind of understand her not wanting to show her face but I also think that showing a picture of her younger years was not the right move. me personally I am terrible at pictures no matter what I always look horrible it would be better just to see me in person but I don't put a picture on my avatar simply because I like my avatar to show who I am inside.
 
I don't know if I'd invest a year talking one on one with someone I don't feel comfortable with.
Although, in the yahoo days, I did have an experience where someone googled my name, looked up public records of folks in my family with the same last name, shared the info with other people, and a lot of mean spirited prank calls ensued. Thankfully it was to my family and not my job, because I can't avoid my work info or work history being out there. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but it wasn't the end of the world.


Just something to think about...you can't reasonably maintain any kind of long term friendship or relationship without some underlying level of trust, and that comes with letting people in
 
Hellooo said:
Just something to think about...you can't reasonably maintain any kind of long term friendship or relationship without some underlying level of trust, and that comes with letting people in
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Reminds of me something I heard that really made me think. I can't put it as eloquently as the original way I heard it, but it was something like, "Putting up a wall DOES keep people out (who might hurt you.) BUT, it also prevents the right people from being allowed in..."
 
Willie-T said:
What's to know about a person? You aren't getting ss# or bank account. I think it opens a lot more of the world to get to know people. My wife and I have eaten with Tourist and JesusLives a couple of times. Without doing that, I would never have known what an absolutely humorous guy Tourist is. He will put you in stitches with the way he slides little one-liners into the conversation.... something you can never experience by simply reading the typed word.
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Oh Willie! You can get a lot more than most are aware of if they are good! AND wait JesusLives and Tourist are that close to me too???? WOW, small world!
 
tourist said:
Yeah, I don't get it either. It is sad that there are those that live in fear and have mistrust of anyone who shows the slightest interest in who they really are.
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Hmm, I like face to face meetings! As to mistrust...I am a victim of Identity theft and have had way to many stalkers in life. So I like my privacy. Online you can be talking to any one and they seriously can be opposite of whom they say they are. When I am meeting people daily I am not phased. I chose to give personal details or not by the feeling I get from them. Make sense????
 
JeniBean said:
Ok, well I do not think you're paranoid! I do not show my real picture, nor would I. In an instant you can take someones picture and google search images and BAM no everything about that person. I LOVE my privacy, so I do not share full details or my pictures on line. Just my thoughts!
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Yes, but a stranger could become your friend in person. It wouldn't be long before you give a phone number or a fb. You won't know these people well at all. How is that any better?
People like John Wayne Gaycie and Ted Bundy were true psychopaths before the Internet. Marrying, being friends with rich and wealthy people, or even members of government. Doing all of this while also being serial killers. Their own wives had no idea.
How about BTK, the serial killer that didn't get caught, but just disappeared? He went on to become a married man and a church deacon until about 30 years later he started killing again.
None of these people used the Internet and were able to hide who and what they really were. And this is just a few of the most famous, not the only ones.
So a belief that knowing people in person is somehow more safe inherently, well, history shows how flawed that thinking is.
 
JeniBean said:
Oh Willie! You can get a lot more than most are aware of if they are good! AND wait JesusLives and Tourist are that close to me too???? WOW, small world!
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Yeah. We all knew we were that close, but we talked it over, and took a vote...... Sorry, but we are just apprehensive about letting you actually meet us. (It's probably your picture.)
 
Kaycie said:
Ok so I was chatting with a guy on here for almost a year, just as friends, I'm not looking to date online, and he wanted to see what I looked like. Well I am all about online safety, that's why I don't use my real name. My initials are KC, so I call myself Kaycie. Well I thought if I put a younger picture of me, he can kinda get a sense of what I look like without knowing what I look like now. But when I showed him my picture he didn't believe that was really me (once upon a time) and he quit talking to me.

I told him I used to be pretty long before he asked to see my photo. And that it is not my real hair- that I tried on different hairstyles at hair mixer dot com, again trying not to completely give away what I look like. But the truth is it really is me in the photo. I'm flattered that he thought I was too pretty, but more so insulted that he didn't believe me. I have no reason to lie to him, but since he thought I did, does he also question my Christianity after knowing me for almost a year? I didn't want to put my picture up because I wanted people to react to my soul, not my outward appearance. But maybe I should let the real me be seen.

Any thoughts?
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Hi Kaycie, I am new here, and I probably wont be adding my pic up anytime soon either until I get the feel of things. Hopefully being a Christian chat I wont have people trying to chase after me or anything being a pretty woman.(not conceited but I get told a lot how pretty I am) and have creepy people staring in public all the time so online Is pretty scary too. anyways- I get where you are coming from. I'd like to make friends that know me for me, not judging on looks.

I did not realize this was In the singles forum either, I found this thread under "latest activity". I'm married not trying to be active in singles forum.
 
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Kaycie said:
I didn't want to put my picture up because I wanted people to react to my soul, not my outward appearance. But maybe I should let the real me be seen. Any thoughts?
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It's completely up to you, honestly. Don't want to? Don't do it. Nothing wrong with that. :p

But I will say just one photo shouldn't cause problems unless you're just sending it to anyone at all lol.
 
TO: ThatGirl29:---
That's ok, married ppl are welcome here sometimes. Just not pretty ppl! KIDding! :) Welcome tg29, welcome. Pay no attention to all the backstabbin, knife-throwin, tomato-tossin, flame-burnin, posts, lol, we're all friends here, and we do our best to try to love all and forgive each other.:). It's been rumored that some of us even believe in Jesus!!! (but you can never be too careful):)God bless, and I say that thru alot of struggles lately, but I'm fighting thru, am determined, and am not gonna let my faults or the enemy dictate who I am...a work in progress by God's grace. Praise the Lord, (but you really don't wanna see my pic, cameras and mirrors tend to self-destruct when they see me.:p:(:)
 
internet safety is important. i understand that. personally, if i was chatting with someone for almost a year, i think i would trust said person enough to share a pic. but as others said, if you weren't comfortable yet, declining would've been best :)
 
Willie-T said:
Yeah. We all knew we were that close, but we talked it over, and took a vote...... Sorry, but we are just apprehensive about letting you actually meet us. (It's probably your picture.)
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I totally respect that decision! My picture is scary! :D
 
1. It's a mistake to take personally the reactions of others--not that I don't consistently fail at this. However, it is true. Basically, he's allowed to have his reaction and his reaction really has nothing to do with your personhood. His response to a photo is his response. It doesn't indicate any about you. Also, it's really hard to know exactly what it indicates about him, as well. Maybe he thought he was being catfished. Maybe he thought you were "out of his league." Maybe the fact that he stopped talking to you is coincidental--it could be that he met someone IRL and cut off the chat, or that he's slammed by life now, etc.

2. Honesty is the best policy. If you're not comfortable showing your picture, just say so. The fact that you went through so many gyrations to show him, but not really show him you says more about your insecurities than anything else.
 
Kaycie said:
Ok so I was chatting with a guy on here for almost a year, just as friends, I'm not looking to date online, and he wanted to see what I looked like. Well I am all about online safety, that's why I don't use my real name. My initials are KC, so I call myself Kaycie. Well I thought if I put a younger picture of me, he can kinda get a sense of what I look like without knowing what I look like now. But when I showed him my picture he didn't believe that was really me (once upon a time) and he quit talking to me.

I told him I used to be pretty long before he asked to see my photo. And that it is not my real hair- that I tried on different hairstyles at hair mixer dot com, again trying not to completely give away what I look like. But the truth is it really is me in the photo. I'm flattered that he thought I was too pretty, but more so insulted that he didn't believe me. I have no reason to lie to him, but since he thought I did, does he also question my Christianity after knowing me for almost a year? I didn't want to put my picture up because I wanted people to react to my soul, not my outward appearance. But maybe I should let the real me be seen.

Any thoughts?
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Hmm.. That was weird. A year is a not joke. If you have safety issues then i'm afraid to tell you that chatting with strangers isn't for you in the first place. I'm Sorry! :(
 
I try tobe myself in here or real life. Even i just give mh nick name here. So if ppl see my pics n my own face they will know im casual like others n see me as iam.
I try not to misslead others by pics coz if one day we hv chance to meet they wont dissapointed n wishing too much from my casual n moderate apperance lol
Well, thats what i believe :)
 
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