M
I am a marriage coach, But I tend to handle marital problems in a more of a spiritual/biblical way. This is what I put together all glory to God.
Ephesians 5:32
This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
A marriage between the husband and wife should look like the Lord's relationship with the church, this is shown through Ephesians 5:22-32. (Explained more below)
What is love?
Love in the bible is actually an action word, to love someone by the bibles standards means to treats them right! This is why the scriptures say in Romans 13:10 "Love does no wrong to others or Love worketh no ill to his neighbour" because love only does right to others! Many christian's think they are loving their spouse, but they aren't because they are wronging them. MAKE SURE YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE!
What is the flesh and what does it mean to "deny the flesh"?
Every born again christian has two natures, which is the flesh and the spirit. The flesh is your sinful nature. This is what gives people tendencies to SIN and to mistreat people. The spirit is your Christ-like nature, this is what causes you to become more like Jesus, and helps you to treat people right!
In marriages, often times people don't want to deny the flesh, and for this reason many marriages fail.
Denying the flesh means submitting to the Holy spirit. This means your actions should be inspired by what God desires (LOVE), and not by your sinful desires (FLESH). To do this you should focus on being the new creation that God has called you to be - Holy, Selfless, Loving, Sacrificing, Patient, Gentle, Caring, Long-suffering, Faithful, Understanding, Forgiving, and Merciful.
This is actually in the bible and it's called the fruits of the spirit
Galtians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance:
If you live by the spirit, then you will ALWAYS, bare the characteristics above, and will NOT, carry out your FLESHLY wicked characteristics below.
Galatians 5:16 I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
Anything that is opposite of the characteristics above is FLESH. Some of the common fleshly behaviors are below.
Being Harsh, Feisty, Argumentative, Self-Centered, Selfishness, Negative-sarcasm, Unforgiving, Unfaithful, bad tones, Attitudes, Fighting, Assaulting, Being-mean, Revenge, Cursing, TicforTac, and Impatient. These are the characteristics of the FLESH which God HATES.
When you treat your spouse with that type of behavior, you are going against God and should seek to repent and start loving each other by living according to the spirit as he called us to.
What does it mean to actually "DENY" the flesh...?
NOW this is the part where christian's have issues in marriages, because many people get married and only want to treat each other right when they FEEL LIKE IT. But when you're denying the flesh, you're applying the Holy spirit's characteristics (which is LOVE) despite how you feel.
It's applying them when your being mistreated, when your angry, when they are undeserving, and even when you don't feel like it. Regardless of the situation, you are to treat your spouse according to the spirit and not the flesh. After reading this you should now understand what it means to how to deny the flesh and how to love your spouse biblically.
SIMPLY PUT! anytime your wronging your spouse your hating them! Therefore walk by the spirit and deny your sinful urges to hold grudges, have attitudes, lose control, etc
Now for the instruction manual:What are the roles of the husband and wife?
Ephesians 5:21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
RULE 1: submit to each other! what does this mean?
Ephesians 5:22-23 "For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Just like how you listen to Jesus commandments and obey him. the wife should also listen to and obey her husband.
why does the wife submit to the husband?
"For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church." It's her role in marriage.
Do the wife have to obey her husband on everything?
24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
what about husbands? how do husbands submit to their wives?
Ephesians 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.
Loving your wife like Christ loves the church, means loving her like Jesus loves the church. Which is an amazing amount of love. Be willing to die for your wife, just like Jesus was willing to die for us. Jesus takes care of the NEEDS of the church, therefore the husband should fulfill the needs of his wife.
Ephesians 5:28 "husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies". For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.
Ephesians 5:29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.
Questions?
What if the husband goes overboard with his authority, having his wife to do everything? while he does nothing?
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands should live with your wives in an understanding way, since they are weaker than you. You should show them respect, because God gives them the same blessing he gives you—the grace of true life. Do this so that nothing will stop your prayers from being heard.
If this happened, then the wife should pray for her husband because God will hinder his prayers from being heard as a punishment for mistreating his wife.
This is what makes you an great husband or wife!
A huge part in making sure your marriage works is being loving regardless of the circumstances. Husbands even if your wife doesn't listen/submit to you, continue to treat her right, loving her, and taking care of her. Wives just because your husband is operating in the flesh doesn't mean you can stop obeying him. Submit to your husbands even when he does wrong to you, Remain gentle, caring, and loving towards him.
We have to LEARN to treat each other right, even when we are being treated WRONG! When the husband decides to mistreat his wife, or the wife decides to stop submitting, they are deciding to go against God's word, and if they don't repent and stop treating each other wrong, then they will have to ANSWER TO GOD.
If you know you struggle with the denying the flesh in tough situations then ask God to help you, because it's his will for you to be loving especially to your spouse.
Imagine what marriage will be like if two christian's come together devoted to denying the flesh and treating each other according the spirit? Simply beautiful right? Make sure you and your christian partner will apply these concepts before getting married, it will make things so much easier! Hope this blesses someone.
Ephesians 5:32
This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
A marriage between the husband and wife should look like the Lord's relationship with the church, this is shown through Ephesians 5:22-32. (Explained more below)
What is love?
Love in the bible is actually an action word, to love someone by the bibles standards means to treats them right! This is why the scriptures say in Romans 13:10 "Love does no wrong to others or Love worketh no ill to his neighbour" because love only does right to others! Many christian's think they are loving their spouse, but they aren't because they are wronging them. MAKE SURE YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE!
What is the flesh and what does it mean to "deny the flesh"?
Every born again christian has two natures, which is the flesh and the spirit. The flesh is your sinful nature. This is what gives people tendencies to SIN and to mistreat people. The spirit is your Christ-like nature, this is what causes you to become more like Jesus, and helps you to treat people right!
In marriages, often times people don't want to deny the flesh, and for this reason many marriages fail.
Denying the flesh means submitting to the Holy spirit. This means your actions should be inspired by what God desires (LOVE), and not by your sinful desires (FLESH). To do this you should focus on being the new creation that God has called you to be - Holy, Selfless, Loving, Sacrificing, Patient, Gentle, Caring, Long-suffering, Faithful, Understanding, Forgiving, and Merciful.
This is actually in the bible and it's called the fruits of the spirit
Galtians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance:
If you live by the spirit, then you will ALWAYS, bare the characteristics above, and will NOT, carry out your FLESHLY wicked characteristics below.
Galatians 5:16 I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
Anything that is opposite of the characteristics above is FLESH. Some of the common fleshly behaviors are below.
Being Harsh, Feisty, Argumentative, Self-Centered, Selfishness, Negative-sarcasm, Unforgiving, Unfaithful, bad tones, Attitudes, Fighting, Assaulting, Being-mean, Revenge, Cursing, TicforTac, and Impatient. These are the characteristics of the FLESH which God HATES.
When you treat your spouse with that type of behavior, you are going against God and should seek to repent and start loving each other by living according to the spirit as he called us to.
What does it mean to actually "DENY" the flesh...?
NOW this is the part where christian's have issues in marriages, because many people get married and only want to treat each other right when they FEEL LIKE IT. But when you're denying the flesh, you're applying the Holy spirit's characteristics (which is LOVE) despite how you feel.
It's applying them when your being mistreated, when your angry, when they are undeserving, and even when you don't feel like it. Regardless of the situation, you are to treat your spouse according to the spirit and not the flesh. After reading this you should now understand what it means to how to deny the flesh and how to love your spouse biblically.
SIMPLY PUT! anytime your wronging your spouse your hating them! Therefore walk by the spirit and deny your sinful urges to hold grudges, have attitudes, lose control, etc
Now for the instruction manual:What are the roles of the husband and wife?
Ephesians 5:21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
RULE 1: submit to each other! what does this mean?
Ephesians 5:22-23 "For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Just like how you listen to Jesus commandments and obey him. the wife should also listen to and obey her husband.
why does the wife submit to the husband?
"For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church." It's her role in marriage.
Do the wife have to obey her husband on everything?
24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
what about husbands? how do husbands submit to their wives?
Ephesians 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.
Loving your wife like Christ loves the church, means loving her like Jesus loves the church. Which is an amazing amount of love. Be willing to die for your wife, just like Jesus was willing to die for us. Jesus takes care of the NEEDS of the church, therefore the husband should fulfill the needs of his wife.
Ephesians 5:28 "husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies". For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.
Ephesians 5:29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.
Questions?
What if the husband goes overboard with his authority, having his wife to do everything? while he does nothing?
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands should live with your wives in an understanding way, since they are weaker than you. You should show them respect, because God gives them the same blessing he gives you—the grace of true life. Do this so that nothing will stop your prayers from being heard.
If this happened, then the wife should pray for her husband because God will hinder his prayers from being heard as a punishment for mistreating his wife.
This is what makes you an great husband or wife!
A huge part in making sure your marriage works is being loving regardless of the circumstances. Husbands even if your wife doesn't listen/submit to you, continue to treat her right, loving her, and taking care of her. Wives just because your husband is operating in the flesh doesn't mean you can stop obeying him. Submit to your husbands even when he does wrong to you, Remain gentle, caring, and loving towards him.
We have to LEARN to treat each other right, even when we are being treated WRONG! When the husband decides to mistreat his wife, or the wife decides to stop submitting, they are deciding to go against God's word, and if they don't repent and stop treating each other wrong, then they will have to ANSWER TO GOD.
If you know you struggle with the denying the flesh in tough situations then ask God to help you, because it's his will for you to be loving especially to your spouse.
Imagine what marriage will be like if two christian's come together devoted to denying the flesh and treating each other according the spirit? Simply beautiful right? Make sure you and your christian partner will apply these concepts before getting married, it will make things so much easier! Hope this blesses someone.
