The reason these types of threads turn controversial is that they are rooted in legalism. We post scriptures until kingdom come about roles in a marriage to justify how we expect other people to be to make us happy. We don’t fool God when we try to justify it by saying that it’s God’s perfect will we want. Because God’s perfect will is to die to yourself and love others as He loves us: unconditionally. That means accept people as they are.
What if that beautiful specimen of a Christian you have your heart set on is a violent mental case who could eventually take you for everything you’re worth? What if that handsome seemingly wise Christian man has the capacity to break you down so low, life will seem like a living hell? What if that perfect specimen of a soul mate we think is good enough for us, is in fact TOO good for us? What if we don't have what it takes to make them happy?
What if that Christian woman who doesn’t live up to your traditional values would love you far more wonderfully than you could imagine? What if God’s hand is upon the life of that man you think isn’t a good enough mate and in truth he would make you happier than you ever dreamed? ? What if the people you feel aren’t worthy are in fact the very ones who are living witnesses of true love? Not in word, not in appearances, but in the spirit and truth? What if the ones we overlook are the very ones God would use to abundantly bless our lives?
Appearances are deceiving. That’s why the Bible says we are not to judge one another by the outward. Jesus said in the gospel of John, “You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.” When we testify what is acceptable to us we are not seeing people according to the spirit of Jesus Christ. We are categorizing them according to our own selfish desires (lusts).
Also in 2 Corinthians: “Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.” We are not to judge people on the outward and according to our own worldly traditions.
Know this: if our eyes are on another to complete us rather than Jesus, we are not surrendered to the Lord, but are a slave to another. We can’t serve two masters. We are not here to perform a role, but to be set free to serve and love the Lord with all our heart and rest in Him. Jesus will lead and guide us, He will keep us, and He will continue to conform us into the image of Himself.
It’s not about traditional values. Jesus was crucified because He broke their traditional beliefs. His way of living didn’t make sense to their worldly value system. Perhaps we should forfeit categorizing people according to our traditions and holding them accountable to religious law and just live with our eyes on Christ Jesus instead. In other words, walk by faith, not by sight.