It's not just to send people to hell for crimes they have no chance of committing or repenting from. That's equivalent to a judge sentencing a person to death whether they are proven innocent or not.
There are no innocents. God is in no way unfair. God is just in condemning everyone and not obligated to save anyone. That He, being Holy, saves anyone is the (or should be) shocking and amazing thing.
As to 1 Tim 2:4 - "All men" is in reference to diversity or station, not the universality of all individual people everywhere. The context is Paul commending Timothy (and his people) to pray for leaders. Forcing a reading of universality upon "all" (pas) creates significant problems in that text which are not necessary. A perfectly natural reading could simply be reading "all" as "all kinds," since the context is Paul calling upon Timothy to pray even for their unregenerate leaders (kings, etc).
Bear:
Calvinists say that the WHOEVER are the "elect" correct?
I am so glad you asked! This word you're making so much of in Jn 3:16
actually doesn't appear in the Greek text. You're hanging on your traditional in-reading of a word in one verse which isn't even a word that appears in the Greek text. Do you see how that kind of argument is problematic?
Here is John 3:16
ουτως γαρ ηγαπησεν ο θεος τον κοσμον ωστε τον υιον τον μονογενη εδωκεν ινα πας ο πιστευων εις αυτον μη αποληται αλλ εχη ζωην αιωνιον.
I have highlighted what some translations take as "whosoever" in red. This is, literally, "all the believing ones." There's no mention or issue of amount, capacity, particularness (limited quality) or anything packed into this verse. "Whosoever" according to a study of what John is actually saying, is a reference to those who believe in Christ and an assurance that "all the believing ones" would not perish and would indeed have eternal life. It says nothing about the narrowness of election or the extent of the atonement. It's just not a great piece of evidence.
What does the elect mean to you?
Israel was elected as God's chosen nation. This means that every Israelite was elect as a nation. Did every Israelite choose God? The answer is no.
Israel did not keep it's covenant with God, because a large majority did not worship the Lord. Israel resisted God by it's own free will.
What happened next? God set them aside to be blinded, and focused His attention on the Gentiles. They became the new elect.
That is truly a strange reading of redemptive history and of the following text in Romans 11. Romans 11 is Paul proving that God's faithfulness towards Israel has not failed or become obsolete, and how the Gospel is going to work through the Gentiles to bring about the fulfillment of His promises towards them in Christ. It's not talking about the issue of conditional/unconditional election. You should probably pick up a commentary or ask your pastor about how Romans 9-11 relate together. I don't mean to be smug or anything, but your reading there is pretty deficient if you think it pertains to the subject we're discussing as a primary argument in favor of a conditional election.
Short answer is: The Calvinist believes The Elect are those who believe in Christ. Belief (faith) is a Gift of sovereign grace, not by works or anything a person can merit on his own behalf. God accomplishes this through means like the working of the Spirit, the preaching of the Gospel, and the living out of a Christ exalting life. (not an extensive list - just examples)
Bears, you really should respond to my posting concerning Romans 9. If you're going to just ignore the bulk of content I post, this is a futile discussion. You can repeat
free will in bold a thousand times and it proves nothing and is simply wrangling with words which is to the ruin of its hearers.