Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[zeroturbulence]

I've been into deepest hurt 3yrs ago and it became so hard for me to love and to trust someone again. i'm now 25 years old and still single and i think i'm ready to love again but this time i want it to be a christian. So how will i know if it's already my God's best?

None of us can know something like that. Some people say that you can pray and He will tell you, but then how do you know if it's really God or just your imagination?

The best thing to do is to make sure that he is above all a good man. Someone who is honest and hard-working and appreciates you without trying to change you or demand things from you. Someone who will be there whenever you need him and not just tell you you're being silly or ignore you.. Someone who goes out of his way to please you..

 

[Tintin]

Has anyone else noticed the increase in satanic references and blasphemy in media?

I'm not one of those doom-sayer types, but I've noticed a significant publicized increase in usernames, gamertags, music, movies, and the like about demons, upside crosses, triple six, pentagrams, goat worship, and all that other rubbish and nonsense.

It's crazy. I mean, the number of Horror films being produced to other movies almost seems like 2 to 1 or more... and now they're popping up on Youtube, Pandora, and other paid advertising sites frequently. TV shows about the devil, and all sorts of stuff... It's like he's advertising. =/ I mean, I know there was all this stuff before, but it's almost getting pervasive now...

Horror isn't in and of itself an evil genre. At its best it shows a life lived without Christ. But there are more and more just glorifying evil - yes.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

Has anyone else noticed the increase in satanic references and blasphemy in media?

I'm not one of those doom-sayer types, but I've noticed a significant publicized increase in usernames, gamertags, music, movies, and the like about demons, upside crosses, triple six, pentagrams, goat worship, and all that other rubbish and nonsense.

It's crazy. I mean, the number of Horror films being produced to other movies almost seems like 2 to 1 or more... and now they're popping up on Youtube, Pandora, and other paid advertising sites frequently. TV shows about the devil, and all sorts of stuff... It's like he's advertising. =/ I mean, I know there was all this stuff before, but it's almost getting pervasive now...

I agree
... and I'm one of those that has seen several of them. It's just too much of it.
Not only is it bad to focus on evil, but they're all the same, in two categories:

Man goes crazy and hunts down and kills his friends
Family moves to haunted place, only kids know about the ghosts and bad stuff happens

.....

- S_K I want those coffee beans!

 

[AsifinPassing]

Yes, I have really been noticing this too more lately, even with some games that I sometimes play I've been seeing things that quite bother me. :/

I don't actually 'like' it, but relate. I've just really noticed an increase like I said...in many things.

It's a little disconcerting.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Yea it does seem like they've been putting out a lot of horror movies lately and they tend to be more of the paranormal kind as opposed to the slasher kind..

 

[AsifinPassing]

Well, on a better and completely different note: Here's today's devotion from 'My Utmost for His Highest' by Oswald Chambers.

The Destitution of Service


February 25, 2016

…though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved. —2 Corinthians 12:15

​

Natural human love expects something in return. But Paul is saying, “It doesn’t really matter to me whether you love me or not. I am willing to be completely destitute anyway; willing to be poverty-stricken, not just for your sakes, but also that I may be able to get you to God.” “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor…” (2 Corinthians 8:9). And Paul’s idea of service was the same as our Lord’s. He did not care how high the cost was to himself— he would gladly pay it. It was a joyful thing to Paul.
The institutional church’s idea of a servant of God is not at all like Jesus Christ’s idea. His idea is that we serve Him by being the servants of others. Jesus Christ actually “out-socialized” the socialists. He said that in His kingdom the greatest one would be the servant of all (see Matthew 23:11). The real test of a saint is not one’s willingness to preach the gospel, but one’s willingness to do something like washing the disciples’ feet— that is, being willing to do those things that seem unimportant in human estimation but count as everything to God. It was Paul’s delight to spend his life for God’s interests in other people, and he did not care what it cost. But before we will serve, we stop to ponder our personal and financial concerns— “What if God wants me to go over there? And what about my salary? What is the climate like there? Who will take care of me? A person must consider all these things.” All that is an indication that we have reservations about serving God. But the apostle Paul had no conditions or reservations. Paul focused his life on Jesus Christ’s idea of a New Testament saint; that is, not one who merely proclaims the gospel, but one who becomes broken bread and poured-out wine in the hands of Jesus Christ for the sake of others.

WISDOM FROM OSWALD CHAMBERS
The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else. “Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord”;… The Highest Good—The Pilgrim’s Song Book, 537 L​

 

[zeroturbulence]

I feel like I'm getting old. Looking back on my life and seeing how different I was back then and how different the world was and now it seems like there isn't anything to look forward to anymore. I lost my dad a few months ago and it's left a big hole in my heart and my mom has to cope with him not being around anymore, and seeing her go through that makes me even sadder. They were both retired and spent every spare moment with each other.

I don't know what I'm going to do with myself either. I will need a job soon but I can't go back to working in pharmacy because my mind has gotten foggy and forgetful. I have trouble remembering simple things. I don't know if it's because of the very trying time I went through the past two years when my father was very ill, or if it's just because I'm aging. My hair hasn't turned gray yet at least.

There is more to it, but the point is that I just don't know what hope I have left to hold on to anymore in life..

I don't really want to post this but I'm forcing myself to because I know I'll feel like I should have later on..

 

[LittleBit1987]

Oh my god people....

For real.... Lil'Bit needs her caffeine... She wants her coffee first thing in the morning or she's not a happy camper lol

Keurig is literally broken (dunno how) and It doesnt even brew a FULL cup when you ask it to. It has no problem brewing just straight hot water.... but it flips out and doesn't brew my COFFEE the cup size I want... the tallest cup... and it gives me the teacup size... and it doesnt even finish the 'cycle' after it brews what it makes.

Sigh.... I honestly dont know what else to do... its been a week since i haven't had my actual real cup of coffee at home and i MISS my coffee.... ::cries::...

 

[zeroturbulence]

The Long and Winding Road

The wild and windy night that the rain washed away,
Has left a pool of tears crying for the day.
Why leave me standing here, let me know the way

Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried,

Still they lead me back to the long and winding road
You left me standing here a long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to you door

- Paul McCartney

[video=youtube;CTqMuspVCbc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTqMuspVCbc[/video]

 

[zeroturbulence]

Oh my god people....

For real.... Lil'Bit needs her caffeine... She wants her coffee first thing in the morning or she's not a happy camper lol

Keurig is literally broken (dunno how) and It doesnt even brew a FULL cup when you ask it to. It has no problem brewing just straight hot water.... but it flips out and doesn't brew my COFFEE the cup size I want... the tallest cup... and it gives me the teacup size... and it doesnt even finish the 'cycle' after it brews what it makes.

Sigh.... I honestly dont know what else to do... its been a week since i haven't had my actual real cup of coffee at home and i MISS my coffee.... ::cries::...

Can you still return it? I'd return it and get yourself a good coffee machine. I don't drink coffee so I don't know which ones are good..

 

[cinder]

I feel like I'm getting old. Looking back on my life and seeing how different I was back then and how different the world was and now it seems like there isn't anything to look forward to anymore. I lost my dad a few months ago and it's left a big hole in my heart and my mom has to cope with him not being around anymore, and seeing her go through that makes me even sadder. They were both retired and spent every spare moment with each other.

I don't know what I'm going to do with myself either. I will need a job soon but I can't go back to working in pharmacy because my mind has gotten foggy and forgetful. I have trouble remembering simple things. I don't know if it's because of the very trying time I went through the past two years when my father was very ill, or if it's just because I'm aging. My hair hasn't turned gray yet at least.

There is more to it, but the point is that I just don't know what hope I have left to hold on to anymore in life..

I don't really want to post this but I'm forcing myself to because I know I'll feel like I should have later on..

If I had to guess I'd say a lot of the mental fogginess and quite possibly even some of the don't know what direction to move in or if it's worth it is more the temporary but longer lasting than anyone wants effects of grief, stress, and transition. Don't be too hard on yourself because while it is something you will eventually adjust to, no one has the right to say that if you aren't over it and fully adjusted in x months then you're doing it wrong.

One of the churches I visited recently started a grief support group for those who've lost a loved one, and my aunt talked about how she really found one of those helpful after her husband passed away. That might be something to look into. Keep hanging in there and hugs to you ZT. World's a better place for having you in it.

 

[LittleBit1987]

Can you still return it? I'd return it and get yourself a good coffee machine. I don't drink coffee so I don't know which ones are good..

I honestly wish it was that easy... but sadly it is not.

A friend gave it to me cause she doesn't drink coffee... and she hardly ever used it. So, techncially its a used coffee maker but it worked great up till a week ago... im gonna try everything i can to keep this machine going and working and if all else fails... im getting just an old regular "Mr. Coffee" maker and be done with the fancy keuirg machines..

 

[wwjd_kilden]

*hugs all around*

Zero: If it is any consolation, my memory is dreadful. Yesterday I put on some laundry and told myself "well, now you must remember it and put it in the dryer" ... took me four hours to remember... I then did, and told myself "remember to check on it when it is finished to see if it needs more time" ,.... and remembered it after going to bed ... so I had to get back up to do it...

Would you be able to go gradually back to work, and do tasks that aren't as critical when you start working again?

 

[zeroturbulence]

If I had to guess I'd say a lot of the mental fogginess and quite possibly even some of the don't know what direction to move in or if it's worth it is more the temporary but longer lasting than anyone wants effects of grief, stress, and transition. Don't be too hard on yourself because while it is something you will eventually adjust to, no one has the right to say that if you aren't over it and fully adjusted in x months then you're doing it wrong.

One of the churches I visited recently started a grief support group for those who've lost a loved one, and my aunt talked about how she really found one of those helpful after her husband passed away. That might be something to look into. Keep hanging in there and hugs to you ZT. World's a better place for having you in it.

Thank you for the suggestion Cinder, but I'm not really grief-stricken even though I do miss my dad a lot. At first I was, but not anymore. Now I just feel a lot of hopelessness because of my particular situation and hopelessness because I wish I could make my mom happy. She seems ok but its hard for me to see her alone all the time. I try to spend time with her but her and I don't really get along well. I usually need to leave the room after not very long. Anyway, I don't know if there even is an answer to these things right now or what.

 

[zeroturbulence]

*hugs all around*

Zero: If it is any consolation, my memory is dreadful. Yesterday I put on some laundry and told myself "well, now you must remember it and put it in the dryer" ... took me four hours to remember... I then did, and told myself "remember to check on it when it is finished to see if it needs more time" ,.... and remembered it after going to bed ... so I had to get back up to do it...

Would you be able to go gradually back to work, and do tasks that aren't as critical when you start working again?

Yes, I can do stuff that won't accidentally kill or debilitate someone for life, but I don't have any up-to-date training in any field. That's my biggest problem. I'm so afraid I may have to work some minimum wage job where I will be treated poorly. I was treated so bad at my last job that I wanted to cry. They made me feel like they clearly didn't want me there and one of them treated me like she hated me. I don't know what to think, but thanks for the hugs Astrid, and thanks for reaching out to me.

 

[Lynx]

Dear zeroturbulence: I have a lot of great advice that I am sure will make your life better.

But I just reminded myself that I have never been through what you are going through. So instead of inflicting my "great" advice on you, I am going to stuff my paw in my mouth and walk away. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[skylove7]

Praying for you Zeroturbulence

 

[skylove7]

For Zeroturbulence with prayer.....

Sometimes in life
When it seems their is no one else
That cares,...that's when we need God's help
And put those tears in a bottle upon the shelf
And believe...believe...believe in yourself

I am so sorry you are down
But there is light behind a storm
Be strong brother
And my prayers are with you
Skylove7

 

[MissCris]

Hello and good morning from sunny, 13 degree, northwestern Colorado!

...and that about does it for my early(ish) morning enthusiasm.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

- S_K I want those coffee beans!

Me too! But Littlebit won't help us out.