I see a great deal of posts on Facebook and such that say that they are "waiting" for the one God would send them, that they are not settling because they know that God has someone for them, that they choose to abstain from sex for their future spouse.
I daresay that these are the wrong reasons to wait.
Gasp! Oh the absolute horror!
Yup. Sad to say that it's true. If your reason for waiting and abstaining and being "pure" is for your spouse, you're doing for the wrong reasons. What if you never marry? Will you just weary of waiting for Mr. Right and give in to Mr. Right Now? Many have done so...and it didn't require a whole lot of single life or even a whole lot of convincing to make it so. What if your perfect person shows up and wants you to compromise your waiting, because they are going to marry you, after all, so why not move forward in the intimacy realm now? Sounds logical. Well, not to those of us not in that place. To those of us outside, it sounds insane. And it is. Yet, many will give in to that person based on this "logic" and the fact that they were, in fact, waiting for them, were they not?
I'm not waiting for my future spouse. I'm not "saving" myself for him. I'm abstaining and I'm pursuing purity and holiness because I love Christ and that is His desire for me. Should marriage never come, I'll be great. Should marriage come, I'll be great. Should Mr. Right miss my house, I'll be great. Should Mr. Right arrive on time, I'll be great. Because my single life is not a curse or a place to "survive" or get through until God sends me someone. Consider that He may not have someone to send. How does that sit with you?
I'll tell you now that when that question is posed, "do you believe that some people are called to singleness?", we see many say, "why, yes, I do, but not me." In fact, 99% believe that there is a call to singleness, but they are not so called. Nope. They are called to marry. And so they wait and save themselves for that person and the devil waits for the right opportunity to lead them to a place of despair and a place where they will consider the waiting over and settle for giving in to the right now convenience that the devil places before them.
So, are you waiting for your future spouse? Is your purity for "the one"? Or is it for you, for Christ? It makes all the difference in the world, especially if the waiting is to never end.
And, as for praying for your future spouse, I know many do so, and are encouraged to do so. If you do so, that's fine. That's great. Just don't make it a wish list or a distraction or a rush plea. Pray for their salvation and their walk, their protection and anointing, that they will know and do God's will in all things, that they will love God with everything they are and even put God first in every relationship, including marriage. I choose not to pray for my future spouse. That is my choice. I've prayed once, I believe, many years ago, because I felt like God wanted me to. It is okay to pray for your future spouse, just be aware of the content of your prayers.
Do I believe that I will marry one day? Maybe, but my life isn't based on this possibility. My call from God is not limited or on hold because I'm not married. My worth and value is not diminished because I'm single. This time of singleness is not a bridge or a curse, but rather it's what I'm called to and that is how I look at it. Should God call me to marriage, no one will be more surprised than I. Being content in your life as a single person and waiting to engage in sex simply because you love Christ will lead you to a much greater place and should the call of marriage come to you, celebrate at that time, rather than pining and wasting away wishing it would arrive before its time...or forcing something that is not to be yours at all.
I daresay that these are the wrong reasons to wait.
Gasp! Oh the absolute horror!
Yup. Sad to say that it's true. If your reason for waiting and abstaining and being "pure" is for your spouse, you're doing for the wrong reasons. What if you never marry? Will you just weary of waiting for Mr. Right and give in to Mr. Right Now? Many have done so...and it didn't require a whole lot of single life or even a whole lot of convincing to make it so. What if your perfect person shows up and wants you to compromise your waiting, because they are going to marry you, after all, so why not move forward in the intimacy realm now? Sounds logical. Well, not to those of us not in that place. To those of us outside, it sounds insane. And it is. Yet, many will give in to that person based on this "logic" and the fact that they were, in fact, waiting for them, were they not?
I'm not waiting for my future spouse. I'm not "saving" myself for him. I'm abstaining and I'm pursuing purity and holiness because I love Christ and that is His desire for me. Should marriage never come, I'll be great. Should marriage come, I'll be great. Should Mr. Right miss my house, I'll be great. Should Mr. Right arrive on time, I'll be great. Because my single life is not a curse or a place to "survive" or get through until God sends me someone. Consider that He may not have someone to send. How does that sit with you?
I'll tell you now that when that question is posed, "do you believe that some people are called to singleness?", we see many say, "why, yes, I do, but not me." In fact, 99% believe that there is a call to singleness, but they are not so called. Nope. They are called to marry. And so they wait and save themselves for that person and the devil waits for the right opportunity to lead them to a place of despair and a place where they will consider the waiting over and settle for giving in to the right now convenience that the devil places before them.
So, are you waiting for your future spouse? Is your purity for "the one"? Or is it for you, for Christ? It makes all the difference in the world, especially if the waiting is to never end.
And, as for praying for your future spouse, I know many do so, and are encouraged to do so. If you do so, that's fine. That's great. Just don't make it a wish list or a distraction or a rush plea. Pray for their salvation and their walk, their protection and anointing, that they will know and do God's will in all things, that they will love God with everything they are and even put God first in every relationship, including marriage. I choose not to pray for my future spouse. That is my choice. I've prayed once, I believe, many years ago, because I felt like God wanted me to. It is okay to pray for your future spouse, just be aware of the content of your prayers.
Do I believe that I will marry one day? Maybe, but my life isn't based on this possibility. My call from God is not limited or on hold because I'm not married. My worth and value is not diminished because I'm single. This time of singleness is not a bridge or a curse, but rather it's what I'm called to and that is how I look at it. Should God call me to marriage, no one will be more surprised than I. Being content in your life as a single person and waiting to engage in sex simply because you love Christ will lead you to a much greater place and should the call of marriage come to you, celebrate at that time, rather than pining and wasting away wishing it would arrive before its time...or forcing something that is not to be yours at all.
