is staying with a non beilieving husband making me a sinner?

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jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#1
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#1
I have posted before about my husband not being a very nice person to me. I have tried and tried to talk to him about God and he refuses to talk about it and shuts me down when i talk about it. I am wondering if i stay with him if I am sinning against GOD for being with a non believer? I was saved again just before we got married and he does not want a thing to do with religion. He does show his actions as far as being judgemental of other people and a major hateful person he also looks at other woman on the internet and talks with them and wants to hook up with them. he has cheated in the past. and so on I know tells us to never give up on a non believer but I am wondering what you all would do I feel like I am beating a dead horse and I most times feel like I am wasting my life with someone who may not be my match anymore and maybe I should find someone who falls into my beliefs and life style that maybe I would be happier Just thoughts from you all I know i have to decided but I really want to know if I am sinning for being with him. I know that it is difficult to live with someone that is so negative all the time it makes me feel awful and the hate spills over and makes me get angry often.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
42,726
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Tennessee
#2
No, you are not a sinner by staying with him. The question is why? Your husband looks at other women on the internet and has cheated on you? Grossly insensitive to your feelings? I will tell you what I would do if I were in your situation. I would consult a divorce lawyer.
 
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Allyouneedisfaith

Guest
#3
#3
You deserve so MUCH better than this and God wants you to have better! God loves you and wants you to be happy and with someone who shares your beliefs. You did all you could to help this man, you can't let him ruin your happiness and life.
 
I

integerlost

Banned
#4
Mar 23, 2016
128
0
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#4
jenniferand2 said:
I have posted before about my husband not being a very nice person to me. I have tried and tried to talk to him about God and he refuses to talk about it and shuts me down when i talk about it. I am wondering if i stay with him if I am sinning against GOD for being with a non believer? I was saved again just before we got married and he does not want a thing to do with religion. He does show his actions as far as being judgemental of other people and a major hateful person he also looks at other woman on the internet and talks with them and wants to hook up with them. he has cheated in the past. and so on I know tells us to never give up on a non believer but I am wondering what you all would do I feel like I am beating a dead horse and I most times feel like I am wasting my life with someone who may not be my match anymore and maybe I should find someone who falls into my beliefs and life style that maybe I would be happier Just thoughts from you all I know i have to decided but I really want to know if I am sinning for being with him. I know that it is difficult to live with someone that is so negative all the time it makes me feel awful and the hate spills over and makes me get angry often.
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Maybe you should, pack up your bible and take Jesus with you. He's masterful at finding, getting you what you need and having doors open for you. Yeah you can pack one bag and go walk about. That's what I got, nothing but one bag a mobile and I just don't need anything else. You can actually leave everything and everyone for his sake, I wont lie to you though, getting rid of all your earthly possessions feels like losing a leg or arm. Even people can become possessions, but you'll work it out in your own way.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#6
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
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0
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#6
jenniferand2 said:
I have posted before about my husband not being a very nice person to me. I have tried and tried to talk to him about God and he refuses to talk about it and shuts me down when i talk about it. I am wondering if i stay with him if I am sinning against GOD for being with a non believer? I was saved again just before we got married and he does not want a thing to do with religion. He does show his actions as far as being judgemental of other people and a major hateful person he also looks at other woman on the internet and talks with them and wants to hook up with them. he has cheated in the past. and so on I know tells us to never give up on a non believer but I am wondering what you all would do I feel like I am beating a dead horse and I most times feel like I am wasting my life with someone who may not be my match anymore and maybe I should find someone who falls into my beliefs and life style that maybe I would be happier Just thoughts from you all I know i have to decided but I really want to know if I am sinning for being with him. I know that it is difficult to live with someone that is so negative all the time it makes me feel awful and the hate spills over and makes me get angry often.
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It is not sinful to stay with him.

If he has been unchaste, you have grounds to divorce him:

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery. Matt 19:9 RSV

Another possibility would be separating from him. Unless he has been unchaste, though, I would encourage you to remain faithful to him.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#7
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
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#7
jenniferand2 said:
I was saved again just before we got married and he does not want a thing to do with religion.
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I'm just curious as to why you didn't recognize this could be a problem pre-marriage? It would have been wise to discuss his revelation beforehand. I guess I'm just surprised that it doesn't dawn on people to discuss such differences with someone they're intending to spend the rest of their life with? Seems like an important subject to ignore, it shouldn't be an after-thought.

Nevertheless, there's no sin in being with a non-believer, just a lot of differences that can create potential problems. If he doesn't share your faith, he doesn't share your values, so without the same moral guidance, he's not likely going to be the nice faithful husband you want. Infidelity is a viable reason for divorce, it could be construed as a sin to stay with someone who mocks what God instituted marriage to be? Jesus ate with sinners, but he didn't endorse their sin. Its a conundrum only you can answer, but I couldn't stay with someone I couldn't trust. Being a non-Christian is no excuse to cheat, be rude, mean, or insensitive. It demonstrate absolutely no respect for you.. jmo

 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#8
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
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#8
It is not a sin to stay with him. I would not be as quick to divorce him as some of the other posters recommend. But you do have religious and legal grounds to if you decide to. I am not a marriage counselor, so I will stray from giving advice except to say to pray aand listen for God's voice, and know that if you can avoid divorce, try to. if you can't, God knows all things.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#9
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#9
Dan I have been with him for 20 some odd years before we married in 2010 I became a Christian and I thought I was doing the right thing by marrying him because we were in a intense relationship and I did not want to at the time break things off i thought stupidly that even after 20 years of the same behaviors from him that one it would change after I showed commitment to him two i thought maybe i could change him. I do realize now that he does not respect me much at all he was no where near this bad 6 years ago he is getting worse as time goes on so my hopes to get him to change are now gone I know i can not change him. I understand that after 20 years of his bad behaviors I should have known better but when your controlled and manipulated like i have been for so long you kind of have no clue whats what anymore if that make sense it has only been the last year or two that I have started trying to stick up for myself and believing that I may deserve better that I start questioning what I have done and what do I do now.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#10
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#10
Some people you know, and posters on this site may tell you "you deserve better." Perhaps you do, but lets look at the word of God and what Jesus expects of his bride.
Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel
Matthew 5:31-32
Matthew 19:1-9
Mark 10:1-12
But also check out what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:12-17
verse 14 says "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband."
These are just some of the passages that came to mind, someone else may have more.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#11
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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48
#11
Thank you Tommy I do believe that God would not want me to hold on to a bad marriage at least I would hope not I just want to know if I am a sinner if I stay in the marriage with him and he does not believe it is very hard to live with someone who is always so negative in what you feel and believe and in everyday life events I just do not know if I can honestly take much more but I do not want to sin by staying and I do not want to sin by leaving if that makes sense
 
damombomb

damombomb

Senior Member
#12
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
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#12
You could be married to a believer and all of a sudden one day he goes back into the world too. Our relationship with the lord is us, our relationship based on what we are called to do. We can't base it on our spouse or any other. I would put my foot down though. And do some serious intercession for him.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#13
#13
We have this question answered directly in scripture.

"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him."
I Corinthians 7:13.

Sounds pretty self-explanatory.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#14
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#14
jenniferand2 said:
Thank you Tommy I do believe that God would not want me to hold on to a bad marriage at least I would hope not I just want to know if I am a sinner if I stay in the marriage with him and he does not believe it is very hard to live with someone who is always so negative in what you feel and believe and in everyday life events I just do not know if I can honestly take much more but I do not want to sin by staying and I do not want to sin by leaving if that makes sense
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Jennifer, I'm not here to condemn you or anyone else, but don't assume what God wants, we know what he wants because it's in the bible. Your hope for what God wants lay with your heart, but check out Proverbs 28:26 "he who trust in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered." If you want to know if you're a sinner for staying with him, read the bible verses I posted to you.
 
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Colt45Bullet

Guest
#15
#15
I agree with Tin. Unless he actually has an affair, you cant divorce him.
 
chanchuinchoy

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
#16
Nov 26, 2015
336
65
28
Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#16
why do you married an unbeliever in the first place? The bible is crystal clear that we as believers in Christ should not be unequally yoke with an unbeliever.

However, if both of you were unbeliever and after marriage, only you became an believer. Is different storey altogether. In this case, you should win your husband to Christ.:)
 
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coby

Guest
#17
#17
Tinuviel said:
We have this question answered directly in scripture.

"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him."
I Corinthians 7:13.

Sounds pretty self-explanatory.
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Yes if he wasn't cheating.
 
C

coby

Guest
#18
#18
chanchuinchoy said:
why do you married an unbeliever in the first place? The bible is crystal clear that we as believers in Christ should not be unequally yoke with an unbeliever.

However, if both of you were unbeliever and after marriage, only you became an believer. Is different storey altogether. In this case, you should win your husband to Christ.:)
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She already explained that. My goodness, because you think you can save someone and don't want to live in sin of course, why else would you do it? Fell for it too. And because christian men don't want you duh.
Glad he left and he didn't even cheat, but was on drugs.
I had a lot of people pray for him and do warfare, but then he left himself, he tried to choke me. It was a clash between Light and darkness. I always felt it was a sin to divorce and although it was a sin to marry him, now that I was trapped I had to stay.
My dad left to an old girlfriend when my mom got saved. She prayed and fasted 3 days and he came back and they're happily married now and he's almost saved.
Just pray, tell that devil to get out of your house. Bind the powers that blind him. Either he gets saved or at least not anti and the devil leaves or he leaves too or simply goes on cheating and you leave. If you're sick of it you may leave anyway btw with adultery.
 
trofimus

trofimus

Senior Member
#19
Aug 17, 2015
10,684
794
113
#19
jenniferand2 said:
is staying with a non beilieving husband making me a sinner?
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No.

1Cor 7:11-15

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband...
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife...
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
 
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coby

Guest
#20
#20
Staying with someone who wilfully keeps cheating on you I would see as sin. I wanted to marry a guy who just always wanted to watch porn and not get prayer to be set free. God told me we would both go to hell if I'd do that. When you have sex with him and he has it with a bunch of others the unclean demons hop over, no thanks.
 
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