How do I be supportive

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ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

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#1
Apr 1, 2014
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#1
So my father is very much a Christian, but rarely talks about things of God. He does so much it's just not in his frame of mind at the time. Lately he has randomly been sending these semi-cryptic texts about being in Gods plan, talking about heavy faith topics in like 140 characters or less.

To me, it's like I am happy he's finally bringing that stuff up but the way he's doing it is concerning. It's like the way someone puts their last words before they go on the lam or something.

I guess im glad that he's doing so period so I haven't told him my true opinion about it yet, I have told
my mom though and she's been weirded out by it too. The only big life event going on so far is my sister is getting married next June so...
 
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pwrnJC

Banned
#2
Dec 1, 2014
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How do YOU define what a real "CHRISTIAN" is? DO you honestly know? Is church membership the secret? Is it that fact that your dad believes in GOD (Jehovah) or that there just may be a GOD? Guess what...even satan believes in CHRIST..and trembles because of it. Is Easter just another day on the calendar for you? Do you consider yourself as a CHRISTIAN? What you are telling us is that you are BORED. Having JESUS CHRIST as your Savior, and being filled with the Holy Spirit is a sure sign of being a CHRISTian.....you are not showing that or expressing it at all. There is absolutely no room for boredom when you have CHRIST. When was the last time you picked up GOD's WORD and read it..asking the Holy Spirit to interpret and apply it to your life? AH HAH !!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Depleted

Guest
#3
#3
ArtsieSteph said:
So my father is very much a Christian, but rarely talks about things of God. He does so much it's just not in his frame of mind at the time. Lately he has randomly been sending these semi-cryptic texts about being in Gods plan, talking about heavy faith topics in like 140 characters or less.

To me, it's like I am happy he's finally bringing that stuff up but the way he's doing it is concerning. It's like the way someone puts their last words before they go on the lam or something.

I guess im glad that he's doing so period so I haven't told him my true opinion about it yet, I have told
my mom though and she's been weirded out by it too. The only big life event going on so far is my sister is getting married next June so...
Click to expand...
My dad's idea of a good conversation is how much he saved on his last grocery shopping trip or how he defeated a wayward dandelion that was foolish enough to grow on his yard.

And then I went away to college. And then Dad wrote letters. Whoa! Dad has thoughts that have nothing to do with groceries or his lawn. Very freaky! And very much coming from the same mind.

I suspect the thing that has changed is you aren't home anymore, so he doesn't have to come up with something to say. That leaves him enough time to say what he means in 140 characters or less to you in a text once in awhile. His one daughter moved out. His other daughter will be getting married soon. Dad is feeling the need to say all the stuff he always thought he'd have time to say but never got around to saying.

You keep forgetting. You're not the only one whose way of living changed drastically in the last few months. You're whole family is trying to regaining their bearings after "normal life" changed. He is saying his last words -- to daughters who are going away to live their own lives. There will be more last words, but for other life changing events in the future. (Wait until wedding day hits! That's both -- a father's biggest dream and biggest fear for his daughters. I bet you'll wonder where Stoic Dad went altogether then. lol)
 
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Depleted

Guest
#4
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Steph? Don't mind pwrn. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like women. Keep an eye out on what he says to people. If the user name is blue, it's wonderful stuff. If it's pink, it's a scold. On a rare occasion, this changes, but it's as rare as our dad's saying deep things to us with their mouths.
 
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PeacefulWarrior

Guest
#5
#5
Depleted said:
Steph? Don't mind pwrn. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like women. Keep an eye out on what he says to people. If the user name is blue, it's wonderful stuff. If it's pink, it's a scold. On a rare occasion, this changes, but it's as rare as our dad's saying deep things to us with their mouths.
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Good eye, Lynn.

(If you lack compassionate tact, stay outta the 'young adult' forum.)
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#6
Apr 1, 2014
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#6
Depleted said:
Steph? Don't mind pwrn. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like women. Keep an eye out on what he says to people. If the user name is blue, it's wonderful stuff. If it's pink, it's a scold. On a rare occasion, this changes, but it's as rare as our dad's saying deep things to us with their mouths.
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Yeah I was a bit confused by his response... Anyhow, yeah just trying to help my dad to talk about God stuff as much as he wants to I guess. I need to work on it more myself.
 
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Depleted

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#7
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PeacefulWarrior said:
Good eye, Lynn.

(If you lack compassionate tact, stay outta the 'young adult' forum.)
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Ut-oh. Should I? (I'm not known for my tact. Probably because I have none. lol)
 
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Depleted

Guest
#8
#8
ArtsieSteph said:
Yeah I was a bit confused by his response... Anyhow, yeah just trying to help my dad to talk about God stuff as much as he wants to I guess. I need to work on it more myself.
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Since your dad is texting you what he thinks, might be a good time to ask him what you've been wondering. (I got all the growing-up lessons from Dad when I needed them most. Not as I was growing up, but when I first started living on my own and realized I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I mean, I even had to call him to learn how to write a check. I got them as gifts growing up, but I never wrote one myself. Bank account? Whaaaa? How much should I spend on rent? No idea. What makes for a good guy vs. a chump? Not a clue. No idea where I was growing up, but once I was on my own the first time, suddenly Dad was a necessity and knew more than how to save at the grocery store. lol)
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

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#9
Apr 1, 2014
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#9
Depleted said:
Since your dad is texting you what he thinks, might be a good time to ask him what you've been wondering. (I got all the growing-up lessons from Dad when I needed them most. Not as I was growing up, but when I first started living on my own and realized I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I mean, I even had to call him to learn how to write a check. I got them as gifts growing up, but I never wrote one myself. Bank account? Whaaaa? How much should I spend on rent? No idea. What makes for a good guy vs. a chump? Not a clue. No idea where I was growing up, but once I was on my own the first time, suddenly Dad was a necessity and knew more than how to save at the grocery store. lol)
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good point!! Since I just sort of moved out (I live in a dorm style apartment where I work out in the Grand Canyon so it's a little ways from home) it would be good to maybe make that kid of more adult stuff regular conversation...
 
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PeacefulWarrior

Guest
#10
#10
Depleted said:
Ut-oh. Should I? (I'm not known for my tact. Probably because I have none. lol)
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Should you? No. If you stayed away, who's gonna spot the grumpy old men amongst the young believers?

Sheesh! Take a compliment/enocouragment, why don't ya! :D
 
Spoonfulofsugar

Spoonfulofsugar

Banned
#11
Mar 24, 2016
198
5
0
#11
pwrnJC said:
How do YOU define what a real "CHRISTIAN" is? DO you honestly know? Is church membership the secret? Is it that fact that your dad believes in GOD (Jehovah) or that there just may be a GOD? Guess what...even satan believes in CHRIST..and trembles because of it. Is Easter just another day on the calendar for you? Do you consider yourself as a CHRISTIAN? What you are telling us is that you are BORED. Having JESUS CHRIST as your Savior, and being filled with the Holy Spirit is a sure sign of being a CHRISTian.....you are not showing that or expressing it at all. There is absolutely no room for boredom when you have CHRIST. When was the last time you picked up GOD's WORD and read it..asking the Holy Spirit to interpret and apply it to your life? AH HAH !!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Are you always abusive or is this a special day for you? Noone cares what you think until they can sense that you have heard them and you care to respond to what they said? Who do you think you are for judging if her dad is a christian? Do you read Gods word because he clearly tells us we dont have the right to judge THAT! She never said she was bored. smh.... This young lady is conveying some things she is thinking on and it matters to her! It doesnt mean she doesnt read her Bible or that you go off on a tangent to ask her if she reads her bible .How do you know the Holy Spirit doesnt interpret things for her in her life? WHO ARE YOU? Nothing you have said is edifying nor encouraging or just down to earth conversation for that matter! All I see from you is satan using your tongue to JUDGE a sister in Christ which btw if I were to test the spirits,Id be standing in her court and not yours. You will be held accountable for every idle word sir. This should concern you greatly. I dont have any tolerance for someone who is battering a young person. Can you remember when you were young?
Consider yourself rebuked. You sound more like a wolve than a sheep.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#12
Feb 21, 2014
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#12
Spoonfulofsugar said:
Are you always abusive or is this a special day for you? Noone cares what you think until they can sense that you have heard them and you care to respond to what they said? Who do you think you are for judging if her dad is a christian? Do you read Gods word because he clearly tells us we dont have the right to judge THAT! She never said she was bored. smh.... This young lady is conveying some things she is thinking on and it matters to her! It doesnt mean she doesnt read her Bible or that you go off on a tangent to ask her if she reads her bible .How do you know the Holy Spirit doesnt interpret things for her in her life? WHO ARE YOU? Nothing you have said is edifying nor encouraging or just down to earth conversation for that matter! All I see from you is satan using your tongue to JUDGE a sister in Christ which btw if I were to test the spirits,Id be standing in her court and not yours. You will be held accountable for every idle word sir. This should concern you greatly. I dont have any tolerance for someone who is battering a young person. Can you remember when you were young?
Consider yourself rebuked. You sound more like a wolve than a sheep.
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Most of his replies are like that. Very rarely, he gives a good response. But for the most, they're critical and judgmental..
 
Spoonfulofsugar

Spoonfulofsugar

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#13
Mar 24, 2016
198
5
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#13
blue_ladybug said:
Most of his replies are like that. Very rarely, he gives a good response. But for the most, they're critical and judgmental..
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It appears that he is roaming the halls beating people over the head with his foul mouth. How do I put annoying people on ignore? He may be my first. haha
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#14
Feb 21, 2014
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#14
Spoonfulofsugar said:
It appears that he is roaming the halls beating people over the head with his foul mouth. How do I put annoying people on ignore? He may be my first. haha
Click to expand...
Go ​to the Settings tab at the top of the forums page. Click on "edit ignore list" from the list on the left, add his name, then click "save changes".
 
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Depleted

Guest
#15
#15
blue_ladybug said:
Most of his replies are like that. Very rarely, he gives a good response. But for the most, they're critical and judgmental..
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You may be hanging out with too many women. Watch him when he talks to guys. He's very nice and supportive then. And, he sometimes goofs up and does that to women too.

He's "talked" to me four times in the last couple of months -- two were "You're wrong for being depleted," one was "Why are you depleted," (and that a mere two weeks after the first time he blasted me for being depleted in the prayer request thread about hubby, but I answered, but he never came back for the answer), and once about how strong I am in God.

So, he really can be supportive. Usually you have to be a guy though. (Does that make him our favorite curmudgeonly uncle?)
 
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Depleted

Guest
#16
#16
Spoonfulofsugar said:
It appears that he is roaming the halls beating people over the head with his foul mouth. How do I put annoying people on ignore? He may be my first. haha
Click to expand...
...or, click on his name, then "View profile," and when you get there on the left hand column there's a choice to "Add to Ignore."

(He was my first... TWICE. lol)
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

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#17
Apr 1, 2014
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#17
I have a feeling as my sister's wedding date draws closer there may be more. Who knows. Or now that I'm back home maybe there will be less because he will be able to give me advice...? Eh.
 
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Depleted

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#18
#18
ArtsieSteph said:
I have a feeling as my sister's wedding date draws closer there may be more. Who knows. Or now that I'm back home maybe there will be less because he will be able to give me advice...? Eh.
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Just keep remembering your dad is as bewildered as you.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

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#19
Feb 21, 2014
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#19
It don't matter now. His mouth finally got his arrogant self banned. I knew it would, sooner or later. :)
 
M

Miri

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#20
#20
Hi Art, some people find it hard to talk about God and I think
men can be worse than women at times, as it's not always seen
as "manly" nor is showing emotions.

Maybe your dad really does want to talk about God but he is just not
sure how to go about it and start the conversation.

Does he find it hard to talk about other things?

Maybe at the wedding you can have a chat to him and he might
open up a bit more. Get chatting about bible versions or your
favourite verse, something light to see if he opens up.
 
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