Women, when a man is truly interested in you...
- Thread starter LOLOKGal
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K
My parents have friends their age, a couple,actually friends of the family. So they're in their 60s. They're really sweet Christian folk. She said to me one day in her southern accent " If I hadn't ask Ron to marry me, we'd STILL be dating!" And they've been married a lot of years. He's just really shy.
I recently read the following and wanted to get your take on it. Thank you. 
When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future etc., it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority.
When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future etc., it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority.
Generally, I think there is some truth to it, but it's helpful if she shows some interest back, returning phone calls when he leaves a message, etc. She needs to go along with it if he's going to court her.
Hi,
After reading all the posts here I'm thinking ...Oh dear me ...I'm just so glad I don't have to go through this ,to have a man any man pursue me and as for dating that,ll be a laugh and in many ways I'm glad I'm 68 + and not 35 odd, or a bit more , one reason I see and maybe would be an issue is I'm tied up with our music groups and going to concerts Parades and the like , and when I look at the many men I know very few are muso,s = band members ,
and I could see some frustration with in a friendship , so to start out on a friendship would be like can I see you tomorrow er no band evening how about next day sorry drumming next week sorry we have a concert how about......im away.......so what comes first for myself a friendship or my music..... you know music is first end of ,
whats that word ..... passionate .....yes I am very much so, so any male would not even get a look in so those who know me know my reasons , I know most wont be interested I,m learning the Altonium from the 1960s marching bands over your way ,
...noeleena...
After reading all the posts here I'm thinking ...Oh dear me ...I'm just so glad I don't have to go through this ,to have a man any man pursue me and as for dating that,ll be a laugh and in many ways I'm glad I'm 68 + and not 35 odd, or a bit more , one reason I see and maybe would be an issue is I'm tied up with our music groups and going to concerts Parades and the like , and when I look at the many men I know very few are muso,s = band members ,
and I could see some frustration with in a friendship , so to start out on a friendship would be like can I see you tomorrow er no band evening how about next day sorry drumming next week sorry we have a concert how about......im away.......so what comes first for myself a friendship or my music..... you know music is first end of ,
whats that word ..... passionate .....yes I am very much so, so any male would not even get a look in so those who know me know my reasons , I know most wont be interested I,m learning the Altonium from the 1960s marching bands over your way ,
...noeleena...
C
I was really shy but not so shy not to pick up the phone. A man like Boaz, I think he didn't pursue Ruth, because he thought he was too old for her.
Nothing wrong with taking the first step and show interest, but if a guy wants you to always call him and doesn't even pick up the phone or message back (lol I heard from 1 that that took a day because he didn't know what to write), if you have to do all the work and there is no response, either they're not interested or looking for someone who always wants to lead them and I sure don't. If he calls and she doesn't do her part I can't blame the guy for giving up either.
Nothing wrong with taking the first step and show interest, but if a guy wants you to always call him and doesn't even pick up the phone or message back (lol I heard from 1 that that took a day because he didn't know what to write), if you have to do all the work and there is no response, either they're not interested or looking for someone who always wants to lead them and I sure don't. If he calls and she doesn't do her part I can't blame the guy for giving up either.
L
I recently read the following and wanted to get your take on it. Thank you.
When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future etc., it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority.
When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future etc., it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority.
Hi LOLOKGal.,
I do lean toward this way very much so when it comes to men and women in relationships. So many younger AND now even older women today are running after men "guessing" that the man is simply shy and doesn't know how to talk to a woman. She enters into this "does he like me or does he not like me?" realm of emotional turmoil.
Gack! what a horrible place to be. If a guy isn't trying, you don't want him. You will be happy and much better without someone like that. We need not constantly be guessing and second guessing should a suitor happen to look our way. Mutual respect and friendship is very important especially in the realm of dating with intention to marry.
I've seen time and time again if you are a woman who wants a man to lead, don't try to lead him. It is wacky reasoning. And if in a relationship the woman or the man finds they are not a priority., what is the point???
Don't disrespect yourself as a woman especially, by allowing a man to get you on the hamster wheel emotionally. If you find yourself there on the hamster wheel..., GET OFF IMMEDIATELY. If you don't you will find yourself in a mess as the hamster wheel rolls down Mount Rushmore.
Can a woman tell if a guy is persuing her even though he just wants to be "friends" for now? Be honest.
In my book, honest and awkward shyness is always preferable to a guy who is slick as slime. Just saying that the guy who stumbles through his nervousness seems a whole lot more authentic than the guy who has all his lines down pat like he's said them all to 100 other girls.
My friend has a few guy friends that she goes places with including me. She does not say that she is looking for a boyfriend or even a new husband. She was married before.
I am afraid to tell her that if we get along as friends that I would like it to be more someday maybe if she feels the same way. She might just see me as a friend only and I don't need the rejection.
I am afraid to tell her that if we get along as friends that I would like it to be more someday maybe if she feels the same way. She might just see me as a friend only and I don't need the rejection.
D
My friend has a few guy friends that she goes places with including me. She does not say that she is looking for a boyfriend or even a new husband. She was married before.
I am afraid to tell her that if we get along as friends that I would like it to be more someday maybe if she feels the same way. She might just see me as a friend only and I don't need the rejection.
I am afraid to tell her that if we get along as friends that I would like it to be more someday maybe if she feels the same way. She might just see me as a friend only and I don't need the rejection.
B. If it gets here and you know it, do you really need this entire life not to find out what she might have said? Surely, you've been rejected often enough to know you can survive it. Sometimes even get a whew later on.
I had a guy friend ask me why we never went out. I laughed and said, "because we're friends, and I'm not interested in your romantically."
We stayed friends. Would that kill you if that woman said it to you? If it doesn't, (and it won't), then figure it out then. Then isn't even guaranteed, so you're worrying about things like "what happens if the earth rotates out of its orbit?" Who cares, until, or if, it does?
I'd hate to think my guy friends wasted that much time in our relationship worrying about maybe-somedays. They're friends. That's a good thing to have now.
Thank you all for your responses. I see different views here and I can see the point on both sides. Some mentioned Ruth and Boaz, yes she made the first move, and then stepped back and allowed Boaz to do what he had to do. However, there was also Jacob. He REALLY had to work for Rachel. Then there's other examples of men pursuing women in the Bible, but I think these two will suffice.
If we women do the pursuing, like Ruth, then I think we need to do so in a way that honors the man. We can take the first step, but let him be the man - make him feel like "The Man"! Let him feel important and respected. Sometimes, we may have to nudge a couple of times, but step back and let him take control. Just don't nag!
For the men to pursue us, like Jacob, I pray that they will do so in a way that respects us and helps us to feel loved and secure. Women, don't let them push you into something you don't want to do, nor shouldn't do.
It has been my experience though, that if a man doesn't love and respect you now, he won't later.
