Remarrying a ex-spouse. Good or bad idea?

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JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#1
Dec 31, 2015
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So what do you all think of that? The bible makes comments about your first spouse, and if you remarry another person.

I can't even imagine dating again. It just not on my mind. And even if it were, its too soon.
My ex wife never remarried. We know each other since we were both in our mid teens. We mostly remained friends through the years, but there is a long, long and convoluted history there.
We occasionally talk, don't see each other much as we live 300 miles apart.
Sometimes I think I just want to stay single, because I can't bear the thought of doing it all again, and I have two young girls that are my priority. . Sometimes I think if I were to get married, well why not, maybe my ex then. But then I say, I must be crazy.
And sometimes I think my girls might be better having a woman/mother around, even though we are making out quite all right. A nice little loving Christian family we have. So why upset the dynamics?
 
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tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
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My daughter remarried her ex-husband after being divorced for 4 or 5 years and it seems to be working out. The only reason to remarry your ex-wife is if you both love each other and have learned how to live together without tearing each other apart. Is your ex-wife the mother of your girls? If not, getting remarried would definitely change the dynamic, possibly upsetting it.
 
JasonNosneh

JasonNosneh

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2015
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i think if it is God's will then it is awesome. Better to seem families repaired than forever broken.
 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#4
Dec 31, 2015
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tourist said:
My daughter remarried her ex-husband after being divorced for 4 or 5 years and it seems to be working out. The only reason to remarry your ex-wife is if you both love each other and have learned how to live together without tearing each other apart. Is your ex-wife the mother of your girls? If not, getting remarried would definitely change the dynamic, possibly upsetting it.
Click to expand...
She is not the mother of my two girls. Although my girls mom's family, my family, and my ex-wife's family are connected in a way because we all grew up in the same neighborhood and we all know each other a very long time.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
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There are sooooooo many answers to this question, and they all depend on the specific circumstances.

Really the only logical answer people on a forum can give is "it depends."
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#6
#6
People change. That can translate to them drifting apart as much as it can mean them washing back up on the same ground. Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, Joseph. I bet your daughters think so too.

Lynx said:
Really the only logical answer people on a forum can give is "it depends."
Click to expand...
Which makes us sound like a bunch of relativists. Lol. It's an appropriate response, though.
 
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Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#7
Nov 15, 2014
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Yea, it does depend.... I couldn't imagine re-marrying my ex.... Even after 4 kids with her. We just don't sync up.
 
proverbs35

proverbs35

Senior Member
#8
Nov 10, 2012
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Born_Again said:
Yea, it does depend.... I couldn't imagine re-marrying my ex.... Even after 4 kids with her. We just don't sync up.
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Why do we marry people that we don't "sync up" with? I have an ex too, so I'm not judging, just pondering? That question probably deserves it's own thread. lol
 
C

coby2

Guest
#9
#9
I wanted to remarry my ex after we both divorced the second time. He asked me if I was totally out of my mind LOL.
Leviticus says it's a sin and the land will spew you out. I thought: but we both died with Christ now and God remarries Israel too because of the offer. I asked God although his answer was a clear no. Do You want me to go back to my first ex, second ex or can I marry so and so (who was on drugs). He said: Marry Me. Time is short. They were marrying and giving into marriage.
He didn't say I had to pray for an ex and reconcile.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#10
#10
If they're not her kids and I don't know if it's a sin, my ex thought so, but suppose it isn't, when I remarried I got so much problems because they were not his kids. First my kids were taken from me and it went swell. Then they came back and the problems started. You don't raise them well. They have to go to bed now. I want rest. You do that. They're your kids, not mine. I was always alone with them. He only liked to play with them before we got married, as a trap. With my ex and his new wife it works very good, because she's sweet for the kids and she just helps him raise them as he wants, but most of the time they're with me with holidays and half of the time, a bit more, normally.
 
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J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#11
#11
Yikes!
re-marrying my spouse?
No. No. No. No. No.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#12
Aug 13, 2014
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jeremyPJ said:
Yikes!
re-marrying my spouse?
No. No. No. No. No.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I kinda figured this thread would give some divorced people nightmares but I didn't want to say anything. :p
 
C

coby2

Guest
#13
#13
In the O.T. it's an abomination.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4*ESV / 87

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the*Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the*Lord*your God is giving you for an inheritance


Jeremiah 3:1*ESV / 45

“If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another man's wife, will he return to her? Would not that land be greatly polluted? You have played the whore with many lovers; and would you return to me? declares the*Lord.

Yet Israel can come back to Him through the offer of Jesus.

Weird that there's nothing about it in the N.T.
 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#14
Dec 31, 2015
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#14
Okay, thanks all for the input. I made up my mind based on it. We got engaged today. Mothers day.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#20
Dec 1, 2014
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#20
Why eat the same Snickers bar when there are so many other candies out there? LOL. ;)


Just kidding, Joseph. Though I've never been married, I would think there are many blessings to re-marrying one's former spouse. If this is what your heart desires, I will pray for you.
 
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