Should Christians Who Are Struggling With Porn Be Considered Ineligible For Marriage?

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HisHolly

Guest
#41
It's perversion. The individuals who struggle with pornographic struggle with perversion.. It has absolutely nothing to do with how anyone looks. It's the act and how it arouses and is able to make climax possible... It's a high no regular sex in bed can give..
These people need delivered.. until they are, should you choose to love them, great for you.. you actually need recognized bc you chose to love who most would call unworthy..
 
May 26, 2016
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#42
It's perversion. The individuals who struggle with pornographic struggle with perversion.. It has absolutely nothing to do with how anyone looks. It's the act and how it arouses and is able to make climax possible... It's a high no regular sex in bed can give..
These people need delivered.. until they are, should you choose to love them, great for you.. you actually need recognized bc you chose to love who most would call unworthy..
Yes I just wanted to say that. They're eligable for deliverance. Then they're eligable for marriage.
 
May 28, 2016
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#43
I wish I could believe that my husband looking at porn and gawking at women had nothing to do with me. I just cannot understand how a man can say he loves you and do that.
If your husband looked at porn and you make it about you, you're personalizing his sin.

We love our Heavenly Father, but yet... we still sin, correct? I'm not God, but my guess is that He knows our hearts and knows if we are trying to be obedient sons and daughters. I don't think God personalizes this and thinks we are disobeying him because of something He did... of course He wouldn't...He is perfect and all-knowing. :)
 
May 26, 2016
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#44
If your husband looked at porn and you make it about you, you're personalizing his sin.

We love our Heavenly Father, but yet... we still sin, correct? I'm not God, but my guess is that He knows our hearts and knows if we are trying to be obedient sons and daughters. I don't think God personalizes this and thinks we are disobeying him because of something He did... of course He wouldn't...He is perfect and all-knowing. :)
I think He does. It is adultery to lust after someone else. It's just as personal or impersonal as going to a hooker.
If Israel had other gods God called it adultery. He spoke about their lovers.
Once heard a good preaching from Sunday Adelaya. He said suppose a husband tells a wife he cheated with someone. How would the response be?
What? With whom? How many times?
Yet if we commit adultery against God we say sorry and expect God to say: Oh yeah, never mind.
He sees it as cheating too. Jesus is not gonna marry a porn addict either.
 

JennaLeanne

Senior Member
Dec 26, 2015
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#45
A poll conducted by "one of the world's most visited Christian websites" indicates a surprising number of Christians are getting addicted to pornography.

"The poll results indicate that 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography.

The group defines "addicted" as applied to pornography as use on an ongoing basis.

"We are seeing an escalation to the problem in both men and women who regularly attend church," said Bill Cooper, President of ChristiaNet.com.

"No one is immunized against the vice-grip clutches of sexual addictive behaviors," reads a release issued by the site. "The people who struggle with the repeated pursuit of sexual gratification include church members, deacons, staff, and yes, even clergy."

How many Christians (especially) men can honestly say, "whenever I am tempted to lust, I NEVER give in." I have 100% conquered that sin. No problem?

If David, who was “a man after God’s own heart,” and many other strong men and women of faith yielded to sexual temptation, it could happen to any of us. Pornography may be the new addiction of this new century. Researchers are finding that when people indulge in porn, they release powerful chemicals in their brain and body. Mark Kastleman, author of The Drug of the New Millennium, said, "There are a growing number of therapists and psychologists who are saying that this is as addictive as cocaine," or alcohol, or even heroin. He explained that, when people view porn, "It causes the brain to release what we call endogenous drugs or endogenous chemicals. 'Endogenous' meaning 'produced from within.' So where cocaine or alcohol seek to mimic the brain's natural chemicals, pornography releases the real deal. And so we have things like adrenaline, epinephrine, ACTH." :eek:

Due to our fallen nature, we will have to deal with the temptation to lust until we die. The temptation to lust will come in many forms including ungodly sexual appetites; and there are lusts, such as the lust of power, fame or position. We must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit inside us to overcome lust every day. No matter the form of lust we face, we can be assured that we have a High Priest and Advocate with the Father who "understands every weakness of ours" and "was tempted in every way that we are. But He did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15; 1 John 2:1). 1 Corinthians 6:18 says to flee sexual immorality! I can tell you that the first step in giving up porn addiction is that you have to REALLY WANT TO GIVE IT UP! Those addicted to porn need to pour out their heart to Jesus and ask Him for the power to give it up. We can't simply suppress this sin in our own strength and give it up solely in our own power.
Amen.. Great post Dan.. I think you hit the nail on the head...

Porn is a huge huge issue in the body of Christ today, For those of us who have been saved from a life of sexual activity then even more so, Like any other "addiction" we need to understand that the mind is the battle field.. There is so much deception that is spread with the word addiction... The world tells us that once we are an addict we are always an addict... If we believe this lie then obviously it becomes a reality.. Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds... Renewing of our minds to what? The truth that we are now a new creature in Christ.. I firmly believe (it's scriptural) That Jesus gas done everything necessary for us to overcome any addiction.. In Christ we are a new creation. The victory is ours already we just need to know this.. Praise God.

So, the original question.. No, absolutely not! Love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things.. I think it should be discussed with the partner, take it together to the Lord in prayer and stand on his word together knowing that IT IS FINISHED! Watching porn does not mean your not satisfied with your partner or that you don't love them.. It means you have struggles like the rest of the world xx
 
May 26, 2016
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#46
Would you marry someone who struggles with homosexuality or struggles with having sex with others?
It's just the same. You give yourself over to an unclean demon if you watch it and you need to be set free from it, just like when you have fornicated.
People think: ahhh it's not that bad. That's why they don't just kick the computer out and go to T.B Joshua or something to have these demons kicked out and why they don't really repent. Noone in their right mind would go to hookers, but porn, oh well.
It's just like cigarettes. Oh yeah it's bad, but I don't do hard drugs or pot. And a pot addict says: it's only pot. Come on, it's not heroin or something, so they don't get serious and see it as grave sin and don't go for deliverance and some churches don't even set those people free. You have to fake and be quiet about it. Get help before you marry if you want to be able to have normal sex without perversion or that you can't even have sex or the other doesn't want it anymore. Unbelievers get rid of it now and help each other because they want a girlfriend. I used to be on a non christian forum when I was backslidden. Those guys stopped watching porn when they got a girlfriend.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#47
I would say no if it was a close friend asking me for advice. Although, finding a man who believes in abstinence, does not fornicate, does not watch porn, wants to marry, and is also a Christian is not that easy to do from what I hear.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#48
If he watches porn he wants sex before marriage. Not gonna risk my salvation.
Hey Messy..but isn't it true that most (not all..maybe) but most men want sex before marriage? ?And they probably don't all watch porn to get aroused??I thought it was a hormonal process to be sexually aroused? Do you think that some women.. (maybe not all) want sex before marriage?. I know I sure as heck did.But I wasn't out there doing it. Didn't want to risk my rep. You know because Christians have to lift up a standard.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#49
Would you marry someone who struggles with homosexuality or struggles with having sex with others?
It's just the same. You give yourself over to an unclean demon if you watch it and you need to be set free from it, just like when you have fornicated.
People think: ahhh it's not that bad. That's why they don't just kick the computer out and go to T.B Joshua or something to have these demons kicked out and why they don't really repent. Noone in their right mind would go to hookers, but porn, oh well.
It's just like cigarettes. Oh yeah it's bad, but I don't do hard drugs or pot. And a pot addict says: it's only pot. Come on, it's not heroin or something, so they don't get serious and see it as grave sin and don't go for deliverance and some churches don't even set those people free. You have to fake and be quiet about it. Get help before you marry if you want to be able to have normal sex without perversion or that you can't even have sex or the other doesn't want it anymore. Unbelievers get rid of it now and help each other because they want a girlfriend. I used to be on a non christian forum when I was backslidden. Those guys stopped watching porn when they got a girlfriend.
Now..for some reason..I would have to draw the line at a man struggling with homosexuality. I'd be suspicious of every man I saw him with. In a situation like that I'd probably be crippled with insecurities. I'm a strong woman (well at least I was strong enough to take a chance on a porn watching unbeliever..)..but I don't think I could shoulder something like that.
 
May 26, 2016
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#50
Hey Messy..but isn't it true that most (not all..maybe) but most men want sex before marriage? ?And they probably don't all watch porn to get aroused??I thought it was a hormonal process to be sexually aroused? Do you think that some women.. (maybe not all) want sex before marriage?. I know I sure as heck did.But I wasn't out there doing it. Didn't want to risk my rep. You know because Christians have to lift up a standard.
I never met one who didn't or cared what I wanted or said. You could say you didn't want that but that don't work. Just always only meet em outside with others. Met one who was decent although he said he wanted it but he just kept his hands with him. He was almost blind. I had enough of those guys so I didn't put a pic on the dating site. He actually was interested in what I had to say. He also negotiated on day 2 though.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#51
These are the scriptures that I kept in mind when my husband watched porn..1st Corinthians 7: 13 - 14..And a woman who has a husband who does not believe ,if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him)..14..For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife ,and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.) And since neither one of us wanted to depart..we fought through a lot of things. It got better when on his own ..my husband decided to accept Christ..it's been 17 years..the man is still a striver for Christ.Praise Him.
 
May 26, 2016
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#52
You should only date one who really wants to wait himself and and isn't struggling with porn, otherwise he drags you into it or you have to break the relationship off and push him away.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#53
I never met one who didn't or cared what I wanted or said. You could say you didn't want that but that don't work. Just always only meet em outside with others. Met one who was decent although he said he wanted it but he just kept his hands with him. He was almost blind. I had enough of those guys so I didn't put a pic on the dating site. He actually was interested in what I had to say. He also negotiated on day 2 though.
Oh..well..that's a shame that they never cared what you wanted. Some men are like that and to be perfectly truthful..some women are like that too.Not caring what the other person wanted. They say one thing and then do something entirely different. Well don't risk your salvation for anybody. Stay strong..Okay??
 
May 26, 2016
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#54
Oh..well..that's a shame that they never cared what you wanted. Some men are like that and to be perfectly truthful..some women are like that too.Not caring what the other person wanted. They say one thing and then do something entirely different. Well don't risk your salvation for anybody. Stay strong..Okay??
Yes I don't risk my salvation anymore. I just don't date anymore.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#55
You should only date one who really wants to wait himself and and isn't struggling with porn, otherwise he drags you into it or you have to break the relationship off and push him away.
Yes..I can see how something like that could happen. You're right..only date ones who want to wait...but well there might not be many of those out there.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#56
Yes I don't risk my salvation anymore. I just don't date anymore.
Well...if you don't mind me asking.How is not dating working for you?? And do you ever get lonely?
 
May 26, 2016
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#57
Well...if you don't mind me asking.How is not dating working for you?? And do you ever get lonely?
I have 3 kids and 3 rabbits replace a guy lol. Only when the kids are with dad and I'm not at the office I can feel lonely, but that's only 3 nights a week.
 
May 26, 2016
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#58
My first ex struggled with lust and had lived together before I met him. He got rebuked in front of a church of 200 people. He was a worship leader and God just told the pastor. Then it was over and we only met at his parents house until we married.
 

Faith-n-Christ

Senior Member
May 12, 2016
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#59
We all sin, However, that is one sin I would not be with. I did once, and he took it a step further. He hid all of it from me then had a 6 month affair, till I caught him on Thanksgiving night. Me nor my children have fully healed from what he did. Yes David also did it, and look what it costed him. That is why their are so many divorces and affairs. I can tell you from personal experience. That kind of pain is not worth it at all. And I can assure you it almost always goes from just porn and lust to needing more and needing it physical. I had a drunk step father, and drug addict mother. Both bad, I would rather deal with them again, then watch what my ex did to my children and me again. That I feel is the very reason the Lord allows for divorce when it comes to that. Just not worth the pain. So for me, NO I would not date or marry someone that could not control their lust.
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#60
We all sin, However, that is one sin I would not be with. I did once, and he took it a step further. He hid all of it from me then had a 6 month affair, till I caught him on Thanksgiving night. Me nor my children have fully healed from what he did. Yes David also did it, and look what it costed him. That is why their are so many divorces and affairs. I can tell you from personal experience. That kind of pain is not worth it at all. And I can assure you it almost always goes from just porn and lust to needing more and needing it physical. I had a drunk step father, and drug addict mother. Both bad, I would rather deal with them again, then watch what my ex did to my children and me again. That I feel is the very reason the Lord allows for divorce when it comes to that. Just not worth the pain. So for me, NO I would not date or marry someone that could not control their lust.
Yeah..but I guess it's different strokes for different folks. What one person can bear..another one can't. I hope everything is okay with you now. Affairs can wreck havoc on a relationship. While I'm not saying my marriage is perfect..I do know from experience that porn does increase lust. It's bad..but what if the other person wanted to change?? Would that make a difference? ?