House Spouses - Answer us!

[mochi]

I think that working from home can be a good compromise.

Yes, i will working at home as well.. I can have online shop, supply some stuff to supermarket/shop, making cakes and cookies (made by order) and many others ideas.. and actually thats what i do right now that way i have flexible time.. and i cant let my (future) husband working alone.. i want to help and support him the best i can do..

I have friend that doing this as well.. and she make a good amount of money from her online shop..while her husband working as sales marketing at car's shop..
They support each others and both of them love God.. its amazing couple! they dont have house yet, they try to buy house (credit) and each time God provide them and they have more than enough to give others people who need as well.. she told me that there are times they will afraid they wont be able to paid the credit thing.. but she said God always has amazing way for them.. God is provider.. its beautiful!

 

[Mitchell1989]

I personally believe that life is so much more than working 40+ hours a week. Allowing my future spouse the ability to stay home and share amazing life experiences with the children would be one of the greatest gifts I could give her.

On the flip side, are stay at home moms more apt to cheat due to the extra time on their hands? This kind of has me a little worried or maybe it's just my inner pessimist shining through.

 

[Rachel20]

Interesting responses everyone Thanks!

Also - it is open to both married and single folks. It's good to hear perspectives from both sides of the fence.

Thought I'd put this verse out here!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

 

[Born_Again]

I personally believe that life is so much more than working 40+ hours a week. Allowing my future spouse the ability to stay home and share amazing life experiences with the children would be one of the greatest gifts I could give her.

On the flip side, are stay at home moms more apt to cheat due to the extra time on their hands? This kind of has me a little worried or maybe it's just my inner pessimist shining through.

Very true.. I have heard from more than one housewife, including my ex (who did cheat) that they need more than conversations with kids. They start to miss adults.

 

[Messy]

Very true.. I have heard from more than one housewife, including my ex (who did cheat) that they need more than conversations with kids. They start to miss adults.

There are forums for that. If they want to cheat they can as well cheat at the office with a collegue or on internet.

 

[Messy]

If you're so alone in a marriage though that you have to go to a forum that's not a good sign. I think it's smarter to both work part time so you can see each other and raise the kids together. The ones I know who all do that all have good marriages.

 

[Mitchell1989]

There are forums for that. If they want to cheat they can as well cheat at the office with a collegue or on internet.

While true, I believe Born_Again was also spot on. Cheating is NEVER justified, however I do understand the feelings associated with loneliness that a stay at home mom could feel. People who cheat at work on the other hand are straight scumbags.

After being cheating on in my very first relationship as a teen, I vowed to myself to never hurt anyone like that for as long I live. Cheating by anyone is deplorable.

 

[Messy]

While true, I believe Born_Again was also spot on. Cheating is NEVER justified, however I do understand the feelings associated with loneliness that a stay at home mom could feel. People who cheat at work on the other hand are straight scumbags.

After being cheating on in my very first relationship as a teen, I vowed to myself to never hurt anyone like that for as long I live. Cheating by anyone is deplorable.

Yes he may have a point. When my ex cheated he had nothing to do. It's easier to fall for it when you have too much time on your hands. David. He was too lazy to go to war and then he cheated with Bathseba.

 

[Messy]

When my kids were little I only worked 2 days and got paid for 4, I had enough to do. I didn't even have time to go to a forum. Didn't even know they existed.

 

[Roh_Chris]

I've been trying to find the time to reply to this thread. Well, here goes....

I would like the two of us to work and here are some reasons why -
1. I believe that a successful professional life is part to my spouse's identity and adds to her self-fulfillment
2. Having a dual income ensures that one partner's income can be saved entirely
3. When we lead such busy lives, who's got time for kids!

 

[Tinkerbell725]

The longest period that I had to stay home was 2 months break from work. I survived but I was bored and I missed work. So if I ever get married I will still work. Besides maintaining a home is very physically exhausting for me.

 

[Messy]

The longest period that I had to stay home was 2 months break from work. I survived but I was bored and I missed work. So if I ever get married I will still work. Besides maintaining a home is very physically exhausting for me.

I once had to stay home for a year. My shoulder couldn't work with the computer anymore but for the rest I could do a lot. I was bored to no end. Didn't have kids then. I even cleaned the kitchen windows. Then I'm really utterly bored.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I dunno, you don't have to be rich to raise children, or even to give them a happy, comfortable home and a good life.

I've come to believe that it's actually much better if you aren't (rich when you have kids). Can you imagine?

After having thought about this some more, if kids were involved there's no way I would allow it. For the first year? Yeah, I expect her to stay home with the kid, but after that no. I'm more of a big picture person I guess, or maybe I'm just a bit more materialistic lol, but I want my kids to have things they like;

What if what they "like" is to have mom around? I've heard so many people say "I wish my parents hadn't worked so much, I wish I'd had more time with my parents." I have never heard anyone say "I wish my parents had worked more, so we could have had more money." These are things ADULTS desire. Not kids. Kids want their parents. They want to be loved and cared for. Just something to think about. THAT is "big picture" thinking.

On the flip side, are stay at home moms more apt to cheat due to the extra time on their hands? This kind of has me a little worried or maybe it's just my inner pessimist shining through.

I was pretty surprised to see this. I've honestly never even considered it. (That stay at home moms are more likely to cheat.) I don't see any logic in this though. Stay at home moms are the LEAST likely to even come into contact with other men. They tend to spend their days meeting with other mothers, or at home very busy with their kids. Not to mention that they have full-time chaperones in the form of children who tend to notice and talk about every little thing that goes on in the day. There is less opportunity for cheating, at least in my experience. Possible, but certainly not any more so than for anyone else.

 

[Fenner]

I personally believe that life is so much more than working 40+ hours a week. Allowing my future spouse the ability to stay home and share amazing life experiences with the children would be one of the greatest gifts I could give her.

On the flip side, are stay at home moms more apt to cheat due to the extra time on their hands? This kind of has me a little worried or maybe it's just my inner pessimist shining through.

Worked part time, still do, never cheated.

 

[BruceWayne]

What if what they "like" is to have mom around? I've heard so many people say "I wish my parents hadn't worked so much, I wish I'd had more time with my parents." I have never heard anyone say "I wish my parents had worked more, so we could have had more money." These are things ADULTS desire. Not kids. Kids want their parents. They want to be loved and cared for. Just something to think about. THAT is "big picture" thinking.

My opinion on this is set in stone. By the time things I mentioned like phones, cars, college, or whatever come into play, kids are going to be in school all day, not hanging out with mom or dad at home. Being financially secure and planning to take care of things they're going to need down the line is my view of big picture and something I think is important.

 

[cinder]

My opinion on this is set in stone. By the time things I mentioned like phones, cars, college, or whatever come into play, kids are going to be in school all day, not hanging out with mom or dad at home. Being financially secure and planning to take care of things they're going to need down the line is my view of big picture and something I think is important.

All I'm thinking about this is that by the time there's any reason for them to legitimately need phones, cars, or college. They'll be old enough to work part time and help pay for it, and that's a good life lesson as well. That they need to work hard to get the things they want (even if mom and dad are awesome enough to help subsidize the cost so they get better than the crappy stuff they could afford alone). As I think far too many parents are learning these days, it's not good parenting to make your kids so comfortable they never want to finish growing up.

 

[Rosesrock]

After having thought about this some more, if kids were involved there's no way I would allow it. For the first year? Yeah, I expect her to stay home with the kid, but after that no. I'm more of a big picture person I guess, or maybe I'm just a bit more materialistic lol, but I want my kids to have things they like; I want my wife to have what she wants, I want us to be able to take vacations and not worry about it, see any movie, pay for cell phones, cars, a nice house, college, etc. I would want my family to live comfortably. What if we have 3 or 4 kids *shudders* lol, are we paying for college on one paycheck? Nope! So yeah, I just think it's smart to have two and enjoy the things you work for.

If it's just the two of us, I guess it could be a thing, but still not ideal in preparing for the future.

You're not paying for college at all.
I have three in college and helped very very little. Maybe a books or two. One just graduated.
It's not my job as a parent to pay for college.
Actually when my kids started working I bought what they needed. The rest. Phones, clothes they wanted or extras were their responsibility.
Cracks me up how we plan and plan and its not what it's seems.
Wait maybe I should post that in the why are we still single thread.
I'm not being harsh or negative but my O my. If I knew then what I know now. I giggle looking back thinking I had it all under control.

 

[BruceWayne]

You're not paying for college at all.
I have three in college and helped very very little. Maybe a books or two. One just graduated.
It's not my job as a parent to pay for college.
Actually when my kids started working I bought what they needed. The rest. Phones, clothes they wanted or extras were their responsibility.
Cracks me up how we plan and plan and its not what it's seems.
Wait maybe I should post that in the why are we still single thread.
I'm not being harsh or negative but my O my. If I knew then what I know now. I giggle looking back thinking I had it all under control.

We differ there. I will help my kids as much as needed and if I'm ever a parent, I will very much feel that it's my job to help pay for college and give them their best chance by putting money aside for them when they're younger; to not force them into student loans they'll have to pay off forever, etc. Maybe they won't need that at all, idk, but it will be there if they do. Your way isn't wrong of course, but everyone has their own way of doing things.

 

[Rosesrock]

We differ there. I will help my kids as much as needed and if I'm ever a parent, I will very much feel that it's my job to help pay for college and give them their best chance by putting money aside for them when they're younger; to not force them into student loans they'll have to pay off forever, etc. Maybe they won't need that at all, idk, but it will be there if they do. Your way isn't wrong of course, but everyone has their own way of doing things.

I don't take offense to differing opinions. Im mature that way. But kids appreciate things more if they work for them.
That's why this up coming generation thinks everything should be handed to them.
Nope of course you're idea or goal isn't wrong but my suggestion isn't to write anything in stone.
We grow as parents right along with raising children

 

[Fenner]

My kid's will help pay for thing's. They need to learn the value of working for something and doing it yourself. I will help but I'm not just handing them stuff. No one did that for me. My family couldn't have. We were poor, in high school I bought my own necessities for school. My Mom bought food and kept a roof over my head. I had to navigate through thing's on my own, I had to budget. It taught me a lot. Mostly life is hard, some people aren't nice and the world owes you nothing. My kid's won't struggle like we did but I still want them to work part time.