Hey Everyone,
A conversation with two good friends inspired this thread today...
We were talking about the fact that in the world of online dating, so many people to seem to be "in such a hurry." For example, they want your number right away. They want to call you that very minute or evening. They then want you to decide if you're willing to be their boyfriend/girlfriend before the conversation ends. And if you haven't decided that you want to marry them by the end of the week... they've already moved on, because there's just no time to spare!
With online dating sites, it's also very common to find the "Multi-Tasking Dater"--the one who sends out multiple (copied) emails to mass numbers of potential dates, hoping to get at least one bite on the line. And hey... if they don't get a response from one line, that's ok--because they have at least 20 more lines baited and set and if none of those result in a response, another copy-and-pasted batch can be sent out to 20 more lucky recipients in only a matter of clicks.
If dating is a race between the tortoise and the hare, you can guess which one I am. I seem to average maybe, MAYBE, 2 dates a year. Three, if I really try to pick up the pace (is anyone here feeling winded by that HUGE blast of speed or is it just me?) And part of it is because I take a long time to get to know one person at a time, let alone moving on to exchanging numbers and then possibly meeting (I insist on several months of just email exchanges first, because I figure if someone is willing to get to know me in a slower, more "old-fashioned way", they're at least sincere. And, it gives me a chance to really get to know them, because if I'm interested, I want to know who they really are.)
But I also realize that this could be unfair to someone who doesn't communicate well in writing, so I do try to be open-minded about keeping different avenues of communicating on the table.
However, I've always been leery of potential dates who seem to be in a big hurry or who make me feel pressured or rushed. I've just learned that time seems to bring out a lot of potential issues that rushing or being in a hurry conveniently glosses over.
And, to be completely honest, I'm always thinking, "If this person could so easily replace me now, wouldn't that make it all the more easy to replace me later on as well?"
I'd always be worried about saying or doing the "right" things because after all, if I dared say anything wrong or make one wrong move, that person could probably replace me within the hour, and I'd rather just avoid the heartache from the beginning.
On the other hand, I know people are often "in a hurry" to find love, and to many of the younger singles out there, I realize that a person like me is their worst possible nightmare ("42 years old... and SINGLE???? EVEN DEATH WOULD BE A BETTER FATE THAN THAT!!!") But personally, I've come to believe that time (and God) really can be on your side.
What are your thoughts on the "Hurry Up" culture of dating? In a world where everything from our clothes to our phones to people themselves are seen as disposable, who needs to waste their time when another possibility is just a click away?
* What do you think of "Fisherman Dating"? Do you prefer the "GO GO GO GOTTA KEEP MOVIN'!!!" approach, or do you take your time? And why?
* Do you believe someone with a "Hurry Up, Time's a Wastin'" attitude toward dating would stay faithful if you started a relationship with them, or would they be apt to hurry up and move on?
* What are your thoughts on how to navigate the world of dating that's both efficient (doesn't waste either person's time), but yet is respectful of the feelings of everyone involved?
I would love to hear your input!!!
(And for my two friends who contributed to this idea--"L" and "X"--you guys are awesome! )
Oh, and one more shout out to my friend Y, who kept saying, "Post that thread! C'mon! Hurry up!!! Where's it at???!! I'm waiting!!"
So much for writing a thread about no pressure... without any pressure. Lol.
Please feel free to voice your thoughts, and happy sharing!
A conversation with two good friends inspired this thread today...
We were talking about the fact that in the world of online dating, so many people to seem to be "in such a hurry." For example, they want your number right away. They want to call you that very minute or evening. They then want you to decide if you're willing to be their boyfriend/girlfriend before the conversation ends. And if you haven't decided that you want to marry them by the end of the week... they've already moved on, because there's just no time to spare!
With online dating sites, it's also very common to find the "Multi-Tasking Dater"--the one who sends out multiple (copied) emails to mass numbers of potential dates, hoping to get at least one bite on the line. And hey... if they don't get a response from one line, that's ok--because they have at least 20 more lines baited and set and if none of those result in a response, another copy-and-pasted batch can be sent out to 20 more lucky recipients in only a matter of clicks.
If dating is a race between the tortoise and the hare, you can guess which one I am. I seem to average maybe, MAYBE, 2 dates a year. Three, if I really try to pick up the pace (is anyone here feeling winded by that HUGE blast of speed or is it just me?) And part of it is because I take a long time to get to know one person at a time, let alone moving on to exchanging numbers and then possibly meeting (I insist on several months of just email exchanges first, because I figure if someone is willing to get to know me in a slower, more "old-fashioned way", they're at least sincere. And, it gives me a chance to really get to know them, because if I'm interested, I want to know who they really are.)
But I also realize that this could be unfair to someone who doesn't communicate well in writing, so I do try to be open-minded about keeping different avenues of communicating on the table.
However, I've always been leery of potential dates who seem to be in a big hurry or who make me feel pressured or rushed. I've just learned that time seems to bring out a lot of potential issues that rushing or being in a hurry conveniently glosses over.
And, to be completely honest, I'm always thinking, "If this person could so easily replace me now, wouldn't that make it all the more easy to replace me later on as well?"
I'd always be worried about saying or doing the "right" things because after all, if I dared say anything wrong or make one wrong move, that person could probably replace me within the hour, and I'd rather just avoid the heartache from the beginning.
On the other hand, I know people are often "in a hurry" to find love, and to many of the younger singles out there, I realize that a person like me is their worst possible nightmare ("42 years old... and SINGLE???? EVEN DEATH WOULD BE A BETTER FATE THAN THAT!!!") But personally, I've come to believe that time (and God) really can be on your side.
What are your thoughts on the "Hurry Up" culture of dating? In a world where everything from our clothes to our phones to people themselves are seen as disposable, who needs to waste their time when another possibility is just a click away?
* What do you think of "Fisherman Dating"? Do you prefer the "GO GO GO GOTTA KEEP MOVIN'!!!" approach, or do you take your time? And why?
* Do you believe someone with a "Hurry Up, Time's a Wastin'" attitude toward dating would stay faithful if you started a relationship with them, or would they be apt to hurry up and move on?
* What are your thoughts on how to navigate the world of dating that's both efficient (doesn't waste either person's time), but yet is respectful of the feelings of everyone involved?
I would love to hear your input!!!
(And for my two friends who contributed to this idea--"L" and "X"--you guys are awesome! )
Oh, and one more shout out to my friend Y, who kept saying, "Post that thread! C'mon! Hurry up!!! Where's it at???!! I'm waiting!!"
So much for writing a thread about no pressure... without any pressure. Lol.
Please feel free to voice your thoughts, and happy sharing!