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It's a sad commentary that a man even has to feel embarrassed about being abused. Most people can't even imagine it being possible for men to be abused by women because, as we all know, they are (generally) bigger and stronger. So when a man does complain about being abused, he is often told to "suck it up" and "take it like a man". Also, it is often assumed that he "must have done something to deserve it". To add insult to injury, he is most often referred to anger management and batterer programs when he tries to seek help.
I agree with jsr when he said that a woman would not be advised to seek counselling; she would instead be encouraged to get a restraining order.
Women who abuse need to be taken to task just as harshly as men who abuse. The manner in which the abuse manifests itself does not (or should not) matter.
I agree with jsr when he said that a woman would not be advised to seek counselling; she would instead be encouraged to get a restraining order.
Women who abuse need to be taken to task just as harshly as men who abuse. The manner in which the abuse manifests itself does not (or should not) matter.
H
not to sound opposing to my own above.. that was for a ''if he wants it to work'' stance.. just a quit being negative in general.. the Bible does give a pass if the spouse is an unbeliever.. you're not required to stay in it.. also true about it being something you put together.. gathering from your own words.. in that case you're not bound bc He did not join you. you only made a commitment in ignorance.. by ignorance I mean lack of understanding about what you were doing.. in such cases we are not held accountable.. ask Paul.... YOU are entitled to an abundant life.. Jesus came for that reason.. don't cheat yourself
First of all, men are at a huge disadvantage when they have a woman that is abusive. If they respond, and the police are called, they go to jail....not the woman. Societal rules... men are violent, women are not.
Not to mention all the "observers" and armchair quarterbacks that say that they, as big, tough men, should just shake it off and ignore it.
If a man is arrested for spousal abuse, he loses many of his rights... among which is the right to purchase a firearm. No big deal if you are not "into" guns, but if you want to buy one, you cannot.
Now, to the OP.... my observation has been that women develop a disgust, or even hatred for a man that is not "manly".... whatever she perceives that to be. Many women will do their best to dominate a man, and if he allows it, she hates him for it. Strange, but true.
Reading your self-description, I see a lot of self-loathing in what you say. If you do not respect and love yourself, why on earth would you expect your woman/wife to?
I think the most helpful thing for you to do is get some Christian counseling for YOURSELF.... you are NOT ugly/worthless/whatever in God's eyes, or, probably, in the eyes of other people. But you need to learn that, and start living your life with confidence and self respect.
When you do that, I strongly believe you will find a woman that will do the same thing. Or, your current wife will look at you with new eyes, and start respecting you the same way YOU respect yourself.
You cannot fix your relationship until you fix your self-perception...... of course, this is all simply my opinion...
Not to mention all the "observers" and armchair quarterbacks that say that they, as big, tough men, should just shake it off and ignore it.
If a man is arrested for spousal abuse, he loses many of his rights... among which is the right to purchase a firearm. No big deal if you are not "into" guns, but if you want to buy one, you cannot.
Now, to the OP.... my observation has been that women develop a disgust, or even hatred for a man that is not "manly".... whatever she perceives that to be. Many women will do their best to dominate a man, and if he allows it, she hates him for it. Strange, but true.
Reading your self-description, I see a lot of self-loathing in what you say. If you do not respect and love yourself, why on earth would you expect your woman/wife to?
I think the most helpful thing for you to do is get some Christian counseling for YOURSELF.... you are NOT ugly/worthless/whatever in God's eyes, or, probably, in the eyes of other people. But you need to learn that, and start living your life with confidence and self respect.
When you do that, I strongly believe you will find a woman that will do the same thing. Or, your current wife will look at you with new eyes, and start respecting you the same way YOU respect yourself.
You cannot fix your relationship until you fix your self-perception...... of course, this is all simply my opinion...
B
I understand your pain I left a 21-year marriage this past June because of emotional and mental cruelty. I know God hates divorce but I was living in misery becoming depressed unhealthy I don't think God wants that either. My husband is an alcoholic with several mental disorders I pray for him but I should not have to stay and take the abuse and you shouldn't either. My advice is pray for your spouse but get yourself to a safe place and find peace again