He says that he will leave if I don't support him and his children financially.....

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blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#41
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
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#41
He has bills that equal up to 4 grand?!! I find THAT hard to believe.. If it's pending, then go take it out and make your escape..
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#42
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#42
I know I have had the advantage of reading all this at one sitting, and most of you have been drawn-in, a spoonful at a time..... BUT I can hardly believe intelligent adults are accepting this story, hook line, and sinker.

Even the "nickname" used should wake you right up.
 
R

relatiosnhipdrama

Guest
#43
#43
Yep. His mortgage and child support.
 
R

relatiosnhipdrama

Guest
#44
#44
Please don't say I am not real. My issues are very real!
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#46
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
113
#46
Willie-T said:
I know I have had the advantage of reading all this at one sitting, and most of you have been drawn-in, a spoonful at a time..... BUT I can hardly believe intelligent adults are accepting this story, hook line, and sinker.

Even the "nickname" used should wake you right up.
Click to expand...

Willie, even if she isn't for real, it doesn't do any harm to offer her advice. Maybe someone else in the same situation, who reads this, WILL take the advice offered. And no, we're not as gullible as you think we are. A few of us have our suspicions, and only time will tell. :)
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#48
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#48
It continues to stagger me that some people insist on thinking that to feed into someone's fantasies is actually somehow helping them.

Certainly be here, and willing to help with their issues, but not under false pretenses.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#49
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
113
#49
Willie-T said:
It continues to stagger me that some people insist on thinking that to feed into someone's fantasies is actually somehow helping them.

Certainly be here, and willing to help with their issues, but not under false pretenses.
Click to expand...

I agree but do you know 1000% that she's here under false pretenses? No you don't and neither do we. Fear/love/obsession, whatever you wanna call it, makes people do some wild things sometimes. As for me, I'm done here. I dunno what else to say to her that hasn't already been said by others..
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#50
#50
relatiosnhipdrama said:
I get this. I know this. I'm in therapy and have heard this.

The bottom line is I still feel like leaving him will kill me -- as I will watch some hot young woman on his arm-- spoiled.

He used to spoil me when he had money (even though he still took my money even then).. But I know once he makes money again - he will go back to his lavish lifestyle and he would spoil me again... He treated me like i was his "queen" as he said .. at that time. However, if I get REAL - I will have to admit even then I was making 90k and he was giving me hell if I got my hair done more than once a month. And talked down to me...and tried to force me back into being the "woman he met". When I met him -- we were very much in love and I would do anyting to be with him. But, it wasn't long before he was saying mean things -- the type that would bring me to tears. But those times were infrequent -- but the red flags were there.

Now, he has no money and he is in desperation and wants to make me pay for it. I don't even know why I am rambling. I just know I will miss the man who was amazing to me (and sometimes still is)... I will be jealous of the woman who he finds who is perfect for him. But, truth is she is not me. I am a driven person (used to be) and I want to have a career and I want to have a life.. he wants to be around me 24/7. Meet all my friends (who I don't really have anymore) and meet my bosses -- always be with me.

His ex wife made nothing -- and she had an amazing lifestyle. But he was horrible to her too...for different reasons. JUST NOW - he's telling me stories.

Like, they had a fight and she wanted to go for a walk. She was gone for more than an hour. He let her go -- locked the door and went to bed. LOCKED HER OUT. She had to stay in a hotel. He said he had to "teach her a lesson" He said he would never do that to me...because he LOVES ME..he didn't love her
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She won't be spoiled tho. That's a lie you choose to believe.
The next will get the same treatment.. face it accept it
 
R

relatiosnhipdrama

Guest
#51
#51
The problem is this is my real life. My real concerns and struggles. Just because I sound weak doesn't mean I'm not real.

Apparently you have never been in a relationship like this...if you had..you might understand. You want love. You Want the person you first fell for. And when they surface again amidst the drama...you want to believe they are still there.
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#52
#52
relatiosnhipdrama said:
The problem is this is my real life. My real concerns and struggles. Just because I sound weak doesn't mean I'm not real.

Apparently you have never been in a relationship like this...if you had..you might understand. You want love. You Want the person you first fell for. And when they surface again amidst the drama...you want to believe they are still there.
Click to expand...
Then you need not ask advice. You want to believe and feel it's worth it. It won't get better. That's reality unless he wants to. He won't do it for you or anyone else if he thinks how he is is ok.
You ask for advice, you're getting good advice. You want someone to say stay.. Sorry but that's not what we believe in
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#53
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#53
relatiosnhipdrama said:
The problem is this is my real life. My real concerns and struggles. Just because I sound weak doesn't mean I'm not real.

Apparently you have never been in a relationship like this...if you had..you might understand. You want love. You Want the person you first fell for. And when they surface again amidst the drama...you want to believe they are still there.
Click to expand...
Well it looks to me like you want agreement not advice.

You will not have what you want from this relationship if you do not first establish a strong relationship with Christ. Your guy will need to have a strong relationship with Christ if he is to be a contributing partner in the relationship.

Can you ask Christ to fix your mess if you haven't given to Him your all?

You got what you got because you wanted it. Now ask God for what He wants but be ready to accept it. What's best may not be what you want and what you want may not be best.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#54
#54
Truth never comes by experience. Truth is truth
Nobody has to go thru or experience what you have in order to know what is right.

I feel redundant saying this but I was a stripper for many many yrs. Men don't change just bcuz they have a woman. They can get another. They have to want who they have
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#55
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
113
#55
He's NOT the guy you first fell for. He's a manipulative, greedy control freak, and you're an enabler. He's playing you for a fool, and you're falling for it, hook, line and sinker. Either stay or go, but stop flip flopping and make a decision already..
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#56
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#56
relatiosnhipdrama said:
I get this. I know this. I'm in therapy and have heard this.

The bottom line is I still feel like leaving him will kill me -- as I will watch some hot young woman on his arm-- spoiled.

He used to spoil me when he had money (even though he still took my money even then).. But I know once he makes money again - he will go back to his lavish lifestyle and he would spoil me again... He treated me like i was his "queen" as he said .. at that time. However, if I get REAL - I will have to admit even then I was making 90k and he was giving me hell if I got my hair done more than once a month. And talked down to me...and tried to force me back into being the "woman he met". When I met him -- we were very much in love and I would do anyting to be with him. But, it wasn't long before he was saying mean things -- the type that would bring me to tears. But those times were infrequent -- but the red flags were there.

Now, he has no money and he is in desperation and wants to make me pay for it. I don't even know why I am rambling. I just know I will miss the man who was amazing to me (and sometimes still is)... I will be jealous of the woman who he finds who is perfect for him. But, truth is she is not me. I am a driven person (used to be) and I want to have a career and I want to have a life.. he wants to be around me 24/7. Meet all my friends (who I don't really have anymore) and meet my bosses -- always be with me.

His ex wife made nothing -- and she had an amazing lifestyle. But he was horrible to her too...for different reasons. JUST NOW - he's telling me stories.

Like, they had a fight and she wanted to go for a walk. She was gone for more than an hour. He let her go -- locked the door and went to bed. LOCKED HER OUT. She had to stay in a hotel. He said he had to "teach her a lesson" He said he would never do that to me...because he LOVES ME..he didn't love her
Click to expand...
Sensible people should be able to reason that if a person went walking with either their credit cards, or with money for a hotel room, they would also have the keys to their house on them.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#57
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#57
Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#58
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#58
Let's see.....Is this woman saved? No, not if she's been shacking up with a divorced man.
Does she even go to church? I read the first page & jumped to the back, so I don't know.
She's seeing a therapist? Any professional with common sense would have told her to leave immediately.
She's gonna listen to us.....why? Apparently she hasn't listened to anyone else.
I'm with Willie on this one..... somebody's being played like a fiddle.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#59
Aug 12, 2011
10,470
2,708
113
#59
this man doesn't love you. love does not manipulate. love does not belittle. love does not guilt trip.

as others have said, leave him.
 
R

relatiosnhipdrama

Guest
#60
#60
I am living in sin. You are right. And yes st something that has really weighed heavily on me as I have been dwelling on it.

May I ask...how would you define this bible verse?


notuptome said:
Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...
 
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