He says that he will leave if I don't support him and his children financially.....

  • Thread starter Thread starter relatiosnhipdrama
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
He has bills that equal up to 4 grand?!! I find THAT hard to believe.. If it's pending, then go take it out and make your escape..
 
I know I have had the advantage of reading all this at one sitting, and most of you have been drawn-in, a spoonful at a time..... BUT I can hardly believe intelligent adults are accepting this story, hook line, and sinker.

Even the "nickname" used should wake you right up.
 
Please don't say I am not real. My issues are very real!
 
Willie-T said:
I know I have had the advantage of reading all this at one sitting, and most of you have been drawn-in, a spoonful at a time..... BUT I can hardly believe intelligent adults are accepting this story, hook line, and sinker.

Even the "nickname" used should wake you right up.
Click to expand...


Willie, even if she isn't for real, it doesn't do any harm to offer her advice. Maybe someone else in the same situation, who reads this, WILL take the advice offered. And no, we're not as gullible as you think we are. A few of us have our suspicions, and only time will tell. :)
 
It continues to stagger me that some people insist on thinking that to feed into someone's fantasies is actually somehow helping them.

Certainly be here, and willing to help with their issues, but not under false pretenses.
 
Willie-T said:
It continues to stagger me that some people insist on thinking that to feed into someone's fantasies is actually somehow helping them.

Certainly be here, and willing to help with their issues, but not under false pretenses.
Click to expand...


I agree but do you know 1000% that she's here under false pretenses? No you don't and neither do we. Fear/love/obsession, whatever you wanna call it, makes people do some wild things sometimes. As for me, I'm done here. I dunno what else to say to her that hasn't already been said by others..
 
relatiosnhipdrama said:
I get this. I know this. I'm in therapy and have heard this.

The bottom line is I still feel like leaving him will kill me -- as I will watch some hot young woman on his arm-- spoiled.

He used to spoil me when he had money (even though he still took my money even then).. But I know once he makes money again - he will go back to his lavish lifestyle and he would spoil me again... He treated me like i was his "queen" as he said .. at that time. However, if I get REAL - I will have to admit even then I was making 90k and he was giving me hell if I got my hair done more than once a month. And talked down to me...and tried to force me back into being the "woman he met". When I met him -- we were very much in love and I would do anyting to be with him. But, it wasn't long before he was saying mean things -- the type that would bring me to tears. But those times were infrequent -- but the red flags were there.

Now, he has no money and he is in desperation and wants to make me pay for it. I don't even know why I am rambling. I just know I will miss the man who was amazing to me (and sometimes still is)... I will be jealous of the woman who he finds who is perfect for him. But, truth is she is not me. I am a driven person (used to be) and I want to have a career and I want to have a life.. he wants to be around me 24/7. Meet all my friends (who I don't really have anymore) and meet my bosses -- always be with me.

His ex wife made nothing -- and she had an amazing lifestyle. But he was horrible to her too...for different reasons. JUST NOW - he's telling me stories.

Like, they had a fight and she wanted to go for a walk. She was gone for more than an hour. He let her go -- locked the door and went to bed. LOCKED HER OUT. She had to stay in a hotel. He said he had to "teach her a lesson" He said he would never do that to me...because he LOVES ME..he didn't love her
Click to expand...

She won't be spoiled tho. That's a lie you choose to believe.
The next will get the same treatment.. face it accept it
 
The problem is this is my real life. My real concerns and struggles. Just because I sound weak doesn't mean I'm not real.

Apparently you have never been in a relationship like this...if you had..you might understand. You want love. You Want the person you first fell for. And when they surface again amidst the drama...you want to believe they are still there.
 
relatiosnhipdrama said:
The problem is this is my real life. My real concerns and struggles. Just because I sound weak doesn't mean I'm not real.

Apparently you have never been in a relationship like this...if you had..you might understand. You want love. You Want the person you first fell for. And when they surface again amidst the drama...you want to believe they are still there.
Click to expand...

Then you need not ask advice. You want to believe and feel it's worth it. It won't get better. That's reality unless he wants to. He won't do it for you or anyone else if he thinks how he is is ok.
You ask for advice, you're getting good advice. You want someone to say stay.. Sorry but that's not what we believe in
 
relatiosnhipdrama said:
The problem is this is my real life. My real concerns and struggles. Just because I sound weak doesn't mean I'm not real.

Apparently you have never been in a relationship like this...if you had..you might understand. You want love. You Want the person you first fell for. And when they surface again amidst the drama...you want to believe they are still there.
Click to expand...
Well it looks to me like you want agreement not advice.

You will not have what you want from this relationship if you do not first establish a strong relationship with Christ. Your guy will need to have a strong relationship with Christ if he is to be a contributing partner in the relationship.

Can you ask Christ to fix your mess if you haven't given to Him your all?

You got what you got because you wanted it. Now ask God for what He wants but be ready to accept it. What's best may not be what you want and what you want may not be best.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
Truth never comes by experience. Truth is truth
Nobody has to go thru or experience what you have in order to know what is right.

I feel redundant saying this but I was a stripper for many many yrs. Men don't change just bcuz they have a woman. They can get another. They have to want who they have
 
He's NOT the guy you first fell for. He's a manipulative, greedy control freak, and you're an enabler. He's playing you for a fool, and you're falling for it, hook, line and sinker. Either stay or go, but stop flip flopping and make a decision already..
 
relatiosnhipdrama said:
I get this. I know this. I'm in therapy and have heard this.

The bottom line is I still feel like leaving him will kill me -- as I will watch some hot young woman on his arm-- spoiled.

He used to spoil me when he had money (even though he still took my money even then).. But I know once he makes money again - he will go back to his lavish lifestyle and he would spoil me again... He treated me like i was his "queen" as he said .. at that time. However, if I get REAL - I will have to admit even then I was making 90k and he was giving me hell if I got my hair done more than once a month. And talked down to me...and tried to force me back into being the "woman he met". When I met him -- we were very much in love and I would do anyting to be with him. But, it wasn't long before he was saying mean things -- the type that would bring me to tears. But those times were infrequent -- but the red flags were there.

Now, he has no money and he is in desperation and wants to make me pay for it. I don't even know why I am rambling. I just know I will miss the man who was amazing to me (and sometimes still is)... I will be jealous of the woman who he finds who is perfect for him. But, truth is she is not me. I am a driven person (used to be) and I want to have a career and I want to have a life.. he wants to be around me 24/7. Meet all my friends (who I don't really have anymore) and meet my bosses -- always be with me.

His ex wife made nothing -- and she had an amazing lifestyle. But he was horrible to her too...for different reasons. JUST NOW - he's telling me stories.

Like, they had a fight and she wanted to go for a walk. She was gone for more than an hour. He let her go -- locked the door and went to bed. LOCKED HER OUT. She had to stay in a hotel. He said he had to "teach her a lesson" He said he would never do that to me...because he LOVES ME..he didn't love her
Click to expand...

Sensible people should be able to reason that if a person went walking with either their credit cards, or with money for a hotel room, they would also have the keys to their house on them.
 
Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
Let's see.....Is this woman saved? No, not if she's been shacking up with a divorced man.
Does she even go to church? I read the first page & jumped to the back, so I don't know.
She's seeing a therapist? Any professional with common sense would have told her to leave immediately.
She's gonna listen to us.....why? Apparently she hasn't listened to anyone else.
I'm with Willie on this one..... somebody's being played like a fiddle.
 
this man doesn't love you. love does not manipulate. love does not belittle. love does not guilt trip.

as others have said, leave him.
 
I am living in sin. You are right. And yes st something that has really weighed heavily on me as I have been dwelling on it.

May I ask...how would you define this bible verse?


notuptome said:
Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back