How does one build self confidence?

[PinkDiamond]

My advice is to not focus on how others will perceive you or think of you. True confidence comes from living a way that brings you peace of mind and a sense of fulfillment. If we feel at peace with our choices we will start to feel a confidence. I also think that it is easy to feel pressure to try to be something or someone that we think is desirable to others. Although we should be self aware of how our behavior impacts others, we should focus on doing and enjoying the hobbies and things that make us feel happy and content ( assuming they are not sinful practices).

I am very much a people pleaser by nature. For years, I felt pressured to prove to others that I was normal, lol. I didn't want others to think negatively of me. It wasn't until I decided to just accept and roll with whatever others thought of me that I found real confidence. It didn't happen overnight. It took awhile to feel more and more at peace with living my life how I wanted to and ignoring the critique of others. I learned that you can never have everyone's approval or good opinion anyway. The funny thing is that the more I accepted potential criticism or negative feedback and didn't try to defend or explain my lifestyle, the more respect I received. People do take note of a person who truly enjoys what they are doing and isn't afraid to be different.

I think that instead of trying to gain confidence you should spend time cultivating your interests. Someone who is very passionate about their interests and isn't seeking approval or affirmation catches the attention of others. You don't want to be in your own head all the time. If you try to become more confident you'll end up torturing yourself overthinking everything that you do and say.

 

[tooldtocare]

.,,.,.,,I am now self confident that my feet will follow the steps without me looking down. Is that the kind of self-confident you mean-?

I must correct my statement. I once missed a steel step as I went down the stair way.

It was not a pleasant experience

.,.,.,..,.,.,.,& still I am here -

just talking to myself, you may pass on by

with a smile -

 

[Tinkerbell725]

True pinkD, overthinking is useless because 99% of the time, people don't actually care about what you say or do unless it's really offensive for them or concerns them directly. They are actually busy in their own thoughts and cares in life. Just be good but don't waste time to prove it. The right people will notice.

 

[Lenardzw]

I grew up as a quiet, shy person. I didn't have much self confidence. I had great friends who are still friends today, so its not like i was getting bullied or anything. I had the most awesome childhood on the planet, but in high school I just didn't feel like I measured up. I didn't make a move on a single girl because I thought I wasn't good enough. It was only when I became a Christian after High School that all this changed dramatically. Now it appears I don't care what people think about me. And i cannot seem to ....erm....shut up.

I think that just pressing on with life. Go after your dreams. Set goals and attack them. Accept compliments, don't wave them off. Compliment yourself when you've done good, not boastfully, but just an acknowledgement: "I did great today." Face your failures or flaws and if changes can be made then work on them, not so that others will accept you but rather for a better YOU.

Above all remind yourself of the truth that you are created with a purpose. (Ephesians 2:10)

 

[laura_charlotte]

It took awhile to feel more and more at peace with living my life how I wanted to and ignoring the critique of others. I learned that you can never have everyone's approval or good opinion anyway. The funny thing is that the more I accepted potential criticism or negative feedback and didn't try to defend or explain my lifestyle, the more respect I received. People do take note of a person who truly enjoys what they are doing and isn't afraid to be different.

This essentially describes my approach to life. It was inspired my Dad who from the word go in my upbringing, always taught me to be myself and not to be held hostage by anything or anyone to submit to another's way. It's a key to happiness that I would recommend to anyone.

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

We just finished a series about your body, your thoughts and food.

Guys it is so much deeper that one or two Bible verses.

The plan and deception from Satan since day one is still the same. He will break us down but with what you consider to be the truth. Be careful. If he keeps on convincing you about something, investigate it further because maybe he is trying to steal your blessings.

We were created tselem Elohim (to the image of God). That is the key to our success.

 

[AsifinPassing]

Well, being shy is something you're going to have to deal with in a way that works best for you. There's nothing wrong with being shy, but it does present some challenges socially.

No, as for rejection, I'm sorry, bro. We just have to face up to that. Nobody like it. Many of us are afraid of it, and to whatever degree is true, it always hurts. Nonetheless, you have to know that this one instance and person is not the end of the world, your life, or anything else ultimately. The truth is, it's just a small part of this chapter of your life, and not the definitive word on things...ever.


So, that said, a good way to start building your self confidence would be:

1. Look in the mirror every day. That person you see is fearfully and wonderfully made in God's own image (Gen. 1:26 & Psalm 139:13-16).

2. Tell yourself that you were made to be awesome, and--in fact--Are. The choice is always ours as to whether we will choose to be the awesome creation God has made and continues to make us into, but potential and blueprint are already there.
(Ephesians 2:10, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 64:8, 1 Cor 3:16)

3. Now that you're reminding each day that you're awesome and why, Go and live it out.
(Romans 8:28, John 14:12, 2 Cor 5:16-20)


...OH! ...and Music! Listening to music that encourages and inspires can help a lot, no joke!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wquq4DTbC9E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njcJ8J8Nas8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiLIP1ok8ys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrXaeUcQtV4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk8nBBvjZ-M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4GmLRTJq1w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdj7qig3QPc

Also this:

[video=youtube;ZCykrLxlmfk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCykrLxlmfk[/video]

 

[AbigailZeke]

When one is shy and has fear of rejection?

Well, for starters, you have to know what your identity is. And who matters. In Christ, you are accepted and beloved. God's kind of love will overtake fear. After getting rid of the fear of rejection, one is not shy anymore.

 

[tourist]

Trump may not even realize this but now that he “is” President Of The United States his background will surely be “investigated”/"Scrutinized" for his safety. hehe

just to make sure there are no shadows in the hallways.

hello -

Trump is not the President of the United States and will not be until Jan. 20, 2027 at 12 noon.

 

[Fenner]

One thing that helped me build some esteem was trying something new. It doesn't have to be some bold statement. For example if you've always wanted to paint, or maybe take a beginners class in something you've wanted to do.

 

[GaryA]

Trump is not the President of the United States and will not be until Jan. 20, 2027 at 12 noon.

"That is way way too long to wait for Obama to make an exit..."

 

[GaryA]

When one is shy and has fear of rejection?

Motivate yourself - to think about - and act towards - every woman on Earth - like she is your sister.

( As you get older, it then becomes - sister, daughter, neice, etc. - whatever seems most appropriate... )

You must "really, actually" do this; honesty - with yourself - and them - is 'paramount'.

If your heart and mind are "in the right place" -- and, you are sincere -- and, you recognize that - until you find "the right one" - every woman is your sister -- and, each and every one of them is "just another human being"... ( i.e. - relating to / with them should not be anything "to be afraid of" )

To build self-confidence, teach your heart and mind to "take her off of the 'pedestal' that you desire to put her on" ( which, psychologically speaking, is what we do in these situations - that then makes it very difficult to "reach" her - because, we have placed her "out of reach"... ) -- and, simply treat her as another human being with whom you would like to communicate-with or relate-to effectively.

I know this is sometimes "easier said than done"; however, the 'principle' of the thing is what I am trying to convey.

I used to be quite shy --- and then - I discovered something [ about myself and my motives ]...

And, I will dare say that - at the very center of the answer to your question - is - 'sincerity'.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

Motivate yourself - to think about - and act towards - every woman on Earth - like she is your sister.

( As you get older, it then becomes - sister, daughter, neice, etc. - whatever seems most appropriate... )

You must "really, actually" do this; honesty - with yourself - and them - is 'paramount'.

If your heart and mind are "in the right place" -- and, you are sincere -- and, you recognize that - until you find "the right one" - every woman is your sister -- and, each and every one of them is "just another human being"... ( i.e. - relating to / with them should not be anything "to be afraid of" )

To build self-confidence, teach your heart and mind to "take her off of the 'pedestal' that you desire to put her on" ( which, psychologically speaking, is what we do in these situations - that then makes it very difficult to "reach" her - because, we have placed her "out of reach"... ) -- and, simply treat her as another human being with whom you would like to communicate-with or relate-to effectively.

I know this is sometimes "easier said than done"; however, the 'principle' of the thing is what I am trying to convey.

I used to be quite shy --- and then - I discovered something [ about myself and my motives ]...

And, I will dare say that - at the very center of the answer to your question - is - 'sincerity'.

Good advice

 

[Tinkerbell725]

...........

 

[laughingheart]

It is one of those things like "Do not think of a blue polar bear". As soon as you read it you think of the blue polar bear. The way to develop confidence is not by focusing on it or yourself. It comes with doing things and being a person you can respect. It takes accurate thinking. The assumption is that everyone is looking at you, noticing you and judging you. The fear and anxiety is not from God but I understand it. Trust me when I say that if you are afraid to talk to people then volunteer with people you know are desperate for contact and consideration. Be an amazing listener. Learn to ask questions. The most important thing I can tell you is that you have to stop thinking about yourself. When you change your focus you will flourish. If you went on a missions trip and were feeding people, clothing them, helping to build a house you would come away with a different mindset. I think the one who doesn't believe in themselves is you. In order to turn it around, like I said, you need to live a life with meaning that you can respect. Stop assessing yourself. It gives you an excuse not to try. I know this is hard. This life here on earth is difficult. All of us struggle. Now go out there and help someone in their struggles and choose who you will be. Do not react to life but choose your actions. God bless you brother. You can do this.

 

[SarahFaith]

(Phil 1:6)
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete [it] until the day of Jesus Christ;

 

[Run4_5k]

I would say, based on experience...That I have an unfailing love from Jesus and that I am a daughter of God