Now that Trump has won, if any of you Americans still want to move here to Canada, feel free to stay at my place. However, the following three conditions must be maintained while living here:
1. You must wear a Donald Trump wig at all times; that will show that although you'll be living in Canada, your true identity will always be American (no one Canadian has hair like that!)
2. You have to give up watching Saturday Night Live, and instead begin watching reruns of SCTV (if you don't know what show SCTV was, then you are automatically disqualified from living here!).
3. BYOB - Bring Your Own Bacon (Canadians don't share their bacon with anybody!!!).