How do u handle a situation like this?

[ManiaStar]

I know I shouldn't even be thinking about this now but since my last dog dog in 2005, and that was the most traumatic experience of my life, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it again. I had adopted another dog in 2008 after being depressed for 3 years. My current dog came from a high kill shelter in north Carolina where they put down 70 dogs a week but my dog was saved bc of a transport that chose her and 30 other dogs to drive up to NY.

I found my dog on petfinder and they labeled her as sweet and affectionate. I cannot say she's very affectionate but she's super sweet and everyone she meets just falls in love with her. I named her Sunshine not only bc of her beautiful coloring but also bc she was the first thing to really make me smile in 3 yrs since my previous dog, Teddy passed away. Mind you, it's now been almost 11 yrs since Teddy passed away but I was sooooo close with that dog, I still cry about him sometimes.

Sunshine is 9 yes old and healthy but in the back if my mind, all I keep thinking about is when that fateful day comes, I'm not going to be able to do it. I don't want her to die. When Teddy died, that experience destroyed me. I still can't get those images out of my head. I had taken Teddy to the vet to put him down, I spent 2 hrs with him there. Holding him, talking to him, loving him. I think he knew and he was so patient and loving towards me. He always was. I couldn't make the call til I had been texting one of my friends and he told me that I needed to let Teddy die with dignity so I made the call. Teddy gave me one final kiss and I gave him a great big hug and had his head in my arms bc he was a too big to hold. And the vet injected him and within 2 seconds his body went limp. (crying as I'm writing this). That was horrible. My parents had to pull me away from his body bc I didn't want to let him go. I cried for days afterwards and skipped school bc I just couldn't do it. He died in my arms. The most heart wrenching experience I have ever had to deal with. Watching my best friend die.

As Sunshine gets older, that feeling of dread comes over me. I don't know how to do it.

When Teddy had died, we had another dog whom I wasn't close with n he didn't like me but when Tedday died, Snuffy just let me hold him and let me cry into his fur. He was good and helped me through that first week. Snuffy passed away the following summer at 17 yrs old. I really didn't cry over him too much but my mom did.

I love Sunshine so much. I am not as close with her as I was Teddy but that doesn't mean she isn't special. She's super special and just an awesome dog!! I'm hoping she'll live to be 15+ but as a beautiful shepherd mix idk.

Usually the closer it gets to Teddy's anniversary, the harder time I have thinking about Sunshine. Teddy passed away on December 5, 2005. There's nothing I can do to stop the hands of time but there's gotta be something I can do to prepare myself early on. I just wish I wouldn't think about it and just have fun, be happy and enjoy Sunshine everyday. And I do but I don't get any peace from it and it's still still so difficult.

 

[Lynx]

The first two answers that came to my mind were flippant jokes, and this is not a thread for flippant jokes.

The only other thing in my mind about this subject is, it's just what happens. We either have a pet and know someday we will lose it, or we go through life without a pet. People do it both ways, with and without pets, and both ways people survive and go on with life.

 

[PeterJens]

You love dogs, Amen, love is a good thing.
Everything we love has a beginning, middle and end. And it is all filled with joy and pain.

I lost a friend today, who was in his 80's and praising the Lord. He knew his health was
bad, and was not sure of where the path would lead him.

I praise the Lord for knowing this brother, and getting to know some of his family,
and am sad at his passing, but I know he is now with the Lord. It was a privilege to
share the time I did with him here and now.

I know we both encouraged and loved each other, and to find this with anyone
is what makes life worthwhile.

So praise the Lord you found dogs you can bond with, and there will be a time
to say goodbye to them, and another hello to another pet. That is how love
works. Without the openness there would be no bonding, and the sense of loss
shows the depth of feeling, but this is the beauty of it all, worth more than
anything else you can find in life, and what drove Jesus to the cross to find us,
where in the end there will be no separation or loss, what glory.

 

[cinder]

What comes to mind reading your story, is that it sounds like you're kind of putting all your emotional eggs in one basket. Loss is always hard, but if there's only 1 emotional support in your life and then you lose it; that's much more difficult to deal with than if you have a support web of 10 or 20 and just lose one of them. So the best thing you can do to prepare for loss is to develop enough connections that you'll have support when loss comes. Practically, God is always a good connection (and one you can't lose), then a church small group, and possibly volunteering at an animal shelter or rescue place or the humane society of something where you will be able to connect with people who really love animals as well and will get it when you're down over the loss of your dog (and there will be plenty of animals around to love and that need your love).

The other practical side of things might be to give yourself a little time every day to mourn and feel sad over your losses, and then just kind of tell yourself, "OK that's enough for today, life goes on and I have a life to live still".

That's the best I've got.

 

[Lynx]

Ah thank you Cinder. That's just what I was thinking, but I couldn't think of a sufficiently polite way to phrase it.

Between Cinder and seoulsearch, who needs a psych? ^.^

 

[seoulsearch]

Ah thank you Cinder. That's just what I was thinking, but I couldn't think of a sufficiently polite way to phrase it.

Between Cinder and seoulsearch, who needs a PSYCHO? ^.^

Fixed your post for ya, Lynx.

And, you're welcome.

 

[zeroturbulence]

This breaks my heart. I used to have a little dachsund and a beagle (they were actually my sisters but my sisters never had anything to do with them). We had them for 15 years. When the dachsund's time came I had to take him to the humane society to have him put to sleep. I cried so hard I could barely answer the ladie's questions. I cried for three days straight. I couldn't eve contain myself at work. I'm even crying thinking about it. He was my little buddy. The next year the beagle got real sick and was put to sleep and I cried some but not as much. We felt that she had died of a broken heart because her lifelong companion had been gone a year, so I was kind of happy that they were together again.

I don't know any way of making the pain less. I think its like a trade off because you/we were so blessed to have such loving pets.. so we have to suffer the most when they die. Don't know what else to say.

 

[MollyConnor]

Mania, I'm sorry you're going through this. I know the feeling I've had many pets throughout my life. Currently I have Fifi, my chihuahua. She's going to be 11 in January. I hope and pray she lasts a long time. I think Cinder is right, you need to find other people and God of course, to let your emotions out.

All I can tell you is what helps me. I don't know if this is Biblical but I believe all living things go to heaven, except humans who haven't accepted Christ. But animals know what they are supposed to do because God made them that way. I really think even they know that God exists. Notice that mother birds build their nests for their young. Dogs bark when there are strangers around. Lions hunt. These are the things that God made them to do. Just like he made humans able to worship Him and have a relationship with Him.

Anyways, I like to think that all animals go to heaven. They will be there when we die. So don't think of it as a "goodbye", think of it as a "see you later!" I think you'll see Sunshine again.

For now, enjoy your time with your living pets. They need you. Don't let fear keep you from enjoying the present. That's like saying "I have a hard time enjoying my family because I know one day they will all die." That sounds silly right? I know because I've felt that way before too. Pray for joy and peace. Pray multiple times a day. It really helps. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. God bless you, sister!

 

[laughingheart]

I think Peter has really good advice. "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness" is a concept where action helps to change perception. You are going through a lot of anxiety and fear. You live in dread of the inevitable. Your mind is dwelling in this place. To face it there are some counter measures you can take. This may sound odd but it is something I do. When I become anxious I counter it with sharing my gratitude to God. Praise is not a word you repeat, it describes an action you need to undertake and share it with others. Let your speech and thoughts be transformed, purposefully into words of how you are blessed and use them to bless others. When we are anxious we have a tendency to drain those around us. If you talk about Sunshine tell sweet stories. Do not then follow it up with fear and sorrow. You will notice you will be drawn to do this. Do not give in. Go right into sharing another good story about something uplifting. It becomes addictive! You will notice people flourishing around you as you strengthen and bless them in this way. You are fighting a tough battle but do not let the blessing that is Sunshine be turned into something that cripples you. It might help to spend time with a counsellor who can help you understand what is underlying this anxiety but I encourage you sister to celebrate the good in today and state it out loud. With time and the practice of gratitude you can break free. Hugs to you sister.

You love dogs, Amen, love is a good thing.
Everything we love has a beginning, middle and end. And it is all filled with joy and pain.

I lost a friend today, who was in his 80's and praising the Lord. He knew his health was
bad, and was not sure of where the path would lead him.

I praise the Lord for knowing this brother, and getting to know some of his family,
and am sad at his passing, but I know he is now with the Lord. It was a privilege to
share the time I did with him here and now.

I know we both encouraged and loved each other, and to find this with anyone
is what makes life worthwhile.

So praise the Lord you found dogs you can bond with, and there will be a time
to say goodbye to them, and another hello to another pet. That is how love
works. Without the openness there would be no bonding, and the sense of loss
shows the depth of feeling, but this is the beauty of it all, worth more than
anything else you can find in life, and what drove Jesus to the cross to find us,
where in the end there will be no separation or loss, what glory.