How about, "Any Gullible Fool Who Makes the Mistake of Giving Me Their Address..."
Some people may have noticed
, but I'm really into written communication, so Christmas cards used to be a HUGE thing for me. It was more like a Christmas package: first, there was the card. Then there was a typed, 4-page annual letter. For some, I'd include something handmade, like a bracelet or bookmark. And finally, to make sure it had that "personal" touch instead of feeling mass-produced, I'd hand-write a personal message to the recipient and sign my name to each and every card or letter. I also enjoyed picking out just the right stamps (for example, birds in the snow for my Grandpa because he loves nature), and decorating the envelopes with stickers or stencils.
About 3 years ago I sent out something like 60+ cards. It was a huge project that took me several weeks to do (and I started in October.)
I think I heard from 3 people in return. And it's not that I was giving in order to get, but after that, I just figured... I'll concentrate my time and efforts on the people who really want to keep in touch.
And so, this year... I'm sending out roughly 6 cards.
With all that spare time, I might even have a minute to eat cookies and drink eggnog.