What kind of single are you?
- Thread starter Tinkerbell725
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C
Ive been single a long time. I am a mom and a grandmother...plus I work full time..I am usually busy there, or with the grandchildren or my adult sons one of whom moved home 2 years ago (after being gone 10 years, in other states)
Odd that the last time God even allowed a man in my life was almost 4 years ago.. before that there was always a guy I was talking to..but not dating..really.
My life is so full with my church and hanging with my grandkids and kids that I haven't even thought about dating again until recently..
I often think it would be wonderful to be married again but this time in theLord since I haven't had that blessing in the past...
and spend the rest of my life with a man of God to serve with...
but if I have to be single the rest of my life I won't freak out or die..
I just get that little twinge now and again that it would be nice to be held, or have someone to share things that happened during the day with , someone to hold up..and pray with...someone to cuddle with that isn't my grands though they are great little cuddlers
..My son who lives with me is a good ear now and again and he is so kind and respectful to me... but it isn't the same as having a companion that is not your child.
At my age, I am 56.. I often think it's too late...
but I don't think it is..I know that if a man of God comes into my life and we are both not only attracted to one another but have the same goals and values in Christ, I would be more than willing to marry again.
for now? its work , church and the children
Odd that the last time God even allowed a man in my life was almost 4 years ago.. before that there was always a guy I was talking to..but not dating..really.
My life is so full with my church and hanging with my grandkids and kids that I haven't even thought about dating again until recently..
I often think it would be wonderful to be married again but this time in theLord since I haven't had that blessing in the past...
and spend the rest of my life with a man of God to serve with...
but if I have to be single the rest of my life I won't freak out or die..
I just get that little twinge now and again that it would be nice to be held, or have someone to share things that happened during the day with , someone to hold up..and pray with...someone to cuddle with that isn't my grands though they are great little cuddlers
..My son who lives with me is a good ear now and again and he is so kind and respectful to me... but it isn't the same as having a companion that is not your child. At my age, I am 56.. I often think it's too late...
but I don't think it is..I know that if a man of God comes into my life and we are both not only attracted to one another but have the same goals and values in Christ, I would be more than willing to marry again.
for now? its work , church and the children
K
Someone once told me something that changed my views on searching for a husband or bf. I don't need to be seeking someone out right now. I want to strengthen my relationship with God first and then see where he leads me. Any premature romantic attachments are just going to get both of us hurt and make messy situations to deal with later. That's why even though teen kids dating can be cute for books and movies, it's not really something I think is really great. In my opinion, if you're too young to get married, you're too young to date.
And if you are older, don't get worried looking for a mate. God will provide! Just enjoy your life and do His will!
And if you are older, don't get worried looking for a mate. God will provide! Just enjoy your life and do His will!
oh yea btw.. I have never believed in pursuing a man at all... but being pursued ..so I have never LOOKED but I have wanted to be looked for...badly..in the past lol
..so I have never LOOKED but I have wanted to be looked for...badly..in the past lol
Everyone, man or woman, wants to be pursued. God wants to be pursued and we are created according to His image and likeness.
Jeremiah 29:13
13You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
K
oh yea btw.. I have never believed in pursuing a man at all... but being pursued ..so I have never LOOKED but I have wanted to be looked for...badly..in the past lol
..so I have never LOOKED but I have wanted to be looked for...badly..in the past lol
I'm just not looking at all right now. Although I'm open to being in a relationship, I don't feel an urge to be. I want to in the future, but not right now.
G
I am the searching single. At first, I thought maybe this is a bad thing. So many people say "God will send him, don't worry, no need to look." The pragmatic part of my brain said "no, you need to be proactive." My mother gave me a book called The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas. I'm not finished reading it, but he's been right on in my opinion. This is what he writes about searching
"When it comes to choosing a mate, God will bring the right person to me at the right time. I'll just sit back and wait." That sounds so spiritual, so trusting, so... holy. But consider this attitude in virtually any other aspect of life. For instance, how "holy" and wise does this sound: "I don't plan to apply to any colleges. I figure if I am supposed to go to college, God will make sure the University of Texas will send me a letter, complete with dorm key, that will be my sign."
If someone spoke like that, you'd think the person was a verifiable religious fanatic. But we put the language of dating and finding a mate into similar "Christianese", and it sounds so noble "Don't worry about finding someone to marry. If you just focus on God, He'll bring someone along at just the right time. There are some very disappointed people in their thirties who lived by this philosophy, and now fight resentment toward God because they still aren't married. After all, wasn't He supposed to bring their future spouse to their doorstep?"
That was my philosophy for a long time, but now I am looking, and there's no shame in that, it's practical.
"When it comes to choosing a mate, God will bring the right person to me at the right time. I'll just sit back and wait." That sounds so spiritual, so trusting, so... holy. But consider this attitude in virtually any other aspect of life. For instance, how "holy" and wise does this sound: "I don't plan to apply to any colleges. I figure if I am supposed to go to college, God will make sure the University of Texas will send me a letter, complete with dorm key, that will be my sign."
If someone spoke like that, you'd think the person was a verifiable religious fanatic. But we put the language of dating and finding a mate into similar "Christianese", and it sounds so noble "Don't worry about finding someone to marry. If you just focus on God, He'll bring someone along at just the right time. There are some very disappointed people in their thirties who lived by this philosophy, and now fight resentment toward God because they still aren't married. After all, wasn't He supposed to bring their future spouse to their doorstep?"
That was my philosophy for a long time, but now I am looking, and there's no shame in that, it's practical.
G
As a Christian, I don't mind telling people I am looking for a husband. I believe I was created to be some man's Eve. There's a rib inside me that isn't mine. I'm just looking for its owner. Too bad it doesn't have a homing device on it that can 'ping' whenever I get close to him- that would make things easy.
G
Nice way of seeing it. Never heard that one before.
. Never heard that one before.
I posted the idea on another site with a user kind of down and thinking she was doomed to be single forever. I think I told her to examine herself and see if she has a rib that doesn't belong to her, and if she does that means God meant her to be married.
Every once in a while I read a post or a line in a post that makes me burst out laughing, not because the post in and of itself is even remotely humorous, but because of where my brain goes with it.
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/61967-missing-rip.html
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/61967-missing-rip.html
C
Scripture says "he who finds a wife finds a good thing"...never does it say 'she who finds a husband"... we are told also that woman was made for man not man for woman..therefore, there is no need for us to pursue a man....but a man may pursue us...
all that comes from a woman pursuing a man or making a man pursue them is control....
I tell all my single guy friends, if a woman is pursuing you, run and I have never been wrong.
We are the treasure ladies, We are called a gift to men....
a men know how to hunt treasure...
I once met a woman in a restaurant when I used to be a server and she , a stranger took one look at me (she didn't know me.. I never spoke to her...and though I had never actually chased a man, I tried to make things happen with a couple of them...)....she said to me "honey... never ever pursue a man... you are the treasure, the gift.. let them pursue you!" .
Men were made to be hunters...they don't need help knowing how to do that...
if a shy man wants you...he knows how to make his desire known... and you can let him know you are interested..if need be..but since the men are to be the leaders, let them lead..
Even Ruth...though her mother in law told her to go put herself in the line of site for Boaz, and she was only obeying what she was told, never did it on her own..
and since Boaz , an old man didn't think Ruth would be interested in him, God knew this and knew she would obey Naomi...
Its very important we leave things in order...
and remember who we are...and the role we need to be in...
C
Your idea is sweet...and honestly I totally agree with often feeling there is a rib inside of you that isn't yours
but maybe instead of saying you are looking for a husband why don't you view it this way..
You are waiting for him to find his rib...
Let them look for you honey...
a confident woman of God is a bright light to a man looking for his Eve
knowing who you are and what role you play in a marriage and that God could choose you as a helpmeet to some worthy man, ...that is how you should see yourself always..
there is nothing wrong with being the treasure but the treasure doesn't hunt the pirate.....
remember I said man wasn't made for woman but woman for man? Certainly you were probably made for a man ...and he will find you in God's time
C
I Corinthians 11:9
man did not come from woman, but woman from man. 9Neither was man created for woman,but woman for man
[FONT="]PRoverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,[/FONT]
[FONT="]And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 19:14
“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
[/FONT]
Ladies.. YOU are the treasure, you are the gift, you are the prize!! you were made for man and they weren't made for you, you wait on God ....and when it's time for God to lend you to a earthly man he will have that man pursue you , and allow yourself to be pursued.
Men were wired to pursue you and you were wired to be pursued..
God needs to be your husband until then.
if you say you need a husband that is not true..and contradicts scripture..but you may desire a husband because you were create to be pursued by a man to be his wife..
and that is fine...but the difference is to learn to become that treasure and gift while waiting on God..
it is not the same as someone said, applying to college or a job... We need those things in order to make a living and for God t to provide for us.. it is not the same thing as waiting on God for a husband if that is His will for you.
Also you are already loved unconditionally by God..He is really all you need in your life ladies..
that doesn't mean its sinful or wrong for you to want to be a wife.. I know the feeling.. some of us are created to be that..and some of us are not..but it's up to God to bring that man to you...you could be hand crafted for a particular man due to your strengths and your wisdom and ways..but sometimes you are going for the wrong guy because of what you think he can be for you..when he may not be the man God has chosen you for... it's kind of like spending all of your appetite on the appetizers and not waiting for the main course...
You have no idea what is best for you only God does...and not only do you need to be right for him but he needs to be right for you in the end as well and only God knows who is..
Another thing is...just like in the garden when a dumb struck Adam said ok to Eve and bit into the fruit, often men will let women lead and it's not the way God has chosen..
We must expect the man to lead..we must expect them to pursue and we must expect them to initiate..I have had a lot of life experience and many many male friends and have seen a ton of relationships...and in all of them where a woman initiated, they have failed or the woman has been the leader in the relationship which for the world might be ok..but for Christian marriage? it's not..
Anyway.. i hope many of you younger ladies take this scriptural advise..
and I pray you all get to be that loving and supportive godly wife that some man out there will be gifted with one day
man did not come from woman, but woman from man. 9Neither was man created for woman,but woman for man
[FONT="]PRoverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,[/FONT]
[FONT="]And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 19:14
“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
[/FONT]
Ladies.. YOU are the treasure, you are the gift, you are the prize!! you were made for man and they weren't made for you, you wait on God ....and when it's time for God to lend you to a earthly man he will have that man pursue you , and allow yourself to be pursued.
Men were wired to pursue you and you were wired to be pursued..
God needs to be your husband until then.
if you say you need a husband that is not true..and contradicts scripture..but you may desire a husband because you were create to be pursued by a man to be his wife..
and that is fine...but the difference is to learn to become that treasure and gift while waiting on God..
it is not the same as someone said, applying to college or a job... We need those things in order to make a living and for God t to provide for us.. it is not the same thing as waiting on God for a husband if that is His will for you.
Also you are already loved unconditionally by God..He is really all you need in your life ladies..
that doesn't mean its sinful or wrong for you to want to be a wife.. I know the feeling.. some of us are created to be that..and some of us are not..but it's up to God to bring that man to you...you could be hand crafted for a particular man due to your strengths and your wisdom and ways..but sometimes you are going for the wrong guy because of what you think he can be for you..when he may not be the man God has chosen you for... it's kind of like spending all of your appetite on the appetizers and not waiting for the main course...
You have no idea what is best for you only God does...and not only do you need to be right for him but he needs to be right for you in the end as well and only God knows who is..
Another thing is...just like in the garden when a dumb struck Adam said ok to Eve and bit into the fruit, often men will let women lead and it's not the way God has chosen..
We must expect the man to lead..we must expect them to pursue and we must expect them to initiate..I have had a lot of life experience and many many male friends and have seen a ton of relationships...and in all of them where a woman initiated, they have failed or the woman has been the leader in the relationship which for the world might be ok..but for Christian marriage? it's not..
Anyway.. i hope many of you younger ladies take this scriptural advise..
and I pray you all get to be that loving and supportive godly wife that some man out there will be gifted with one day
G
Your idea is sweet...and honestly I totally agree with often feeling there is a rib inside of you that isn't yours
but maybe instead of saying you are looking for a husband why don't you view it this way..
You are waiting for him to find his rib...
Let them look for you honey...
a confident woman of God is a bright light to a man looking for his Eve
knowing who you are and what role you play in a marriage and that God could choose you as a helpmeet to some worthy man, ...that is how you should see yourself always..
there is nothing wrong with being the treasure but the treasure doesn't hunt the pirate.....
remember I said man wasn't made for woman but woman for man? Certainly you were probably made for a man ...and he will find you in God's time
but maybe instead of saying you are looking for a husband why don't you view it this way..
You are waiting for him to find his rib...
Let them look for you honey...
a confident woman of God is a bright light to a man looking for his Eve
knowing who you are and what role you play in a marriage and that God could choose you as a helpmeet to some worthy man, ...that is how you should see yourself always..
there is nothing wrong with being the treasure but the treasure doesn't hunt the pirate.....
remember I said man wasn't made for woman but woman for man? Certainly you were probably made for a man ...and he will find you in God's time