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I bet you do know. Have you ever had a bad teacher? I'm sure you didn't trust that teacher, but you still showed respect. It's like that.
I respect my dad because he is Dad. Much of what he said and did weren't worthy of respect, but he's still Dad. So I respect him, even asked for his counsel at times, (can't do that anymore, since he has dementia), but then when he gave it, I'd weigh it on whether I trusted it.
Ends up, sometimes he was trustworthy. (If only he would have just told me about the different boyfriends I brought home. He was right every time, but he usually didn't tell me what he really thought until the relationship was over. The only one he truly liked was the guy I married.) But, bupkis on his money advice. Not trustworthy there. And not trustworthy on marriage advice.
To give you an idea of who my Dad really is, he never made a friendship that lasted. His record was five years, but merely because his friend like hunting and fishing, and knew you were supposed to be quiet doing either of them. lol) The only people who can take him is family, and, if you knew my family, even that is as strained as it can get. He doesn't pay attention to anyone but himself. BUT he is still Dad. I respect him for what he tried to do, even if the reasons he tried weren't the best reasons. He tried. He failed. He's still Dad.
I respect my dad because he is Dad. Much of what he said and did weren't worthy of respect, but he's still Dad. So I respect him, even asked for his counsel at times, (can't do that anymore, since he has dementia), but then when he gave it, I'd weigh it on whether I trusted it.
Ends up, sometimes he was trustworthy. (If only he would have just told me about the different boyfriends I brought home. He was right every time, but he usually didn't tell me what he really thought until the relationship was over. The only one he truly liked was the guy I married.) But, bupkis on his money advice. Not trustworthy there. And not trustworthy on marriage advice.
To give you an idea of who my Dad really is, he never made a friendship that lasted. His record was five years, but merely because his friend like hunting and fishing, and knew you were supposed to be quiet doing either of them. lol) The only people who can take him is family, and, if you knew my family, even that is as strained as it can get. He doesn't pay attention to anyone but himself. BUT he is still Dad. I respect him for what he tried to do, even if the reasons he tried weren't the best reasons. He tried. He failed. He's still Dad.
D
The reason most people don't listen is because they're too busy trying to be heard. It helps if they hear from you what they're trying to say. That way, they feel like they're being listened to.
And we are listening. Disagreeing doesn't mean we're not listening. Disagreeing means we heard enough to disagree.
None of your parents listen? Okay. Respect that is who they are, and leave it down to the need, instead of wants and need. You'll have to breakthrough to get needs met. The wants? Do without. You can have your wants when you're able to get them on your own.
If you ask Dad who his favorite kid is, he'd pick the youngest. He picks the youngest because the youngest is most like him. (Smart and reclusive.) But, when Dad truly wants to be heard, he turns to me. Not because I agree with him. Because I listen to him. Truthfully, he doesn't even know I disagree with him most of the time. Why bother? He doesn't listen.
But what did I get out of this? Dad. He's been married twice and both marriages failed. He really is hard to get along, but all the other kids are busy trying to get Dad to see that. I simply accept he won't ever, so I respect he tried and failed. And in accepting he is who he is, he has slowly come to accept that I am who I am too. Dad can talk to me. He tries to play games with all of us, but he knows he can't get me to do his every whim. In that, he can get past trying to be heard, because he knows I'm listening. It's taken decades, but we are at peace with each other. I wish my brothers and sister could say the same.
And we are listening. Disagreeing doesn't mean we're not listening. Disagreeing means we heard enough to disagree.
None of your parents listen? Okay. Respect that is who they are, and leave it down to the need, instead of wants and need. You'll have to breakthrough to get needs met. The wants? Do without. You can have your wants when you're able to get them on your own.
If you ask Dad who his favorite kid is, he'd pick the youngest. He picks the youngest because the youngest is most like him. (Smart and reclusive.) But, when Dad truly wants to be heard, he turns to me. Not because I agree with him. Because I listen to him. Truthfully, he doesn't even know I disagree with him most of the time. Why bother? He doesn't listen.
But what did I get out of this? Dad. He's been married twice and both marriages failed. He really is hard to get along, but all the other kids are busy trying to get Dad to see that. I simply accept he won't ever, so I respect he tried and failed. And in accepting he is who he is, he has slowly come to accept that I am who I am too. Dad can talk to me. He tries to play games with all of us, but he knows he can't get me to do his every whim. In that, he can get past trying to be heard, because he knows I'm listening. It's taken decades, but we are at peace with each other. I wish my brothers and sister could say the same.
M
i have a similar father, ex alcoholic and always wanting to know everything. honestly i had some resentment towards him about it. As i focused on The Lord more however, God moved my heart to forgive my parents and let go of that resentment. Overtime i did. After that i did not resent my parents prodding into my life, in fact i would give them more information even when they didn't ask about it. This shocked them at first but as a result they stopped asking all the time and didnt worry or question everything like they used to. I feel our relationship is much healthier now. I give all the praise to God for it
The greatest commandment given us: 37Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. 39A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” With that in mind, we must also obey His commandment to “Honor your father and mother.” “Honor” being a showing of respect, yet I think it regardless. Also, “Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20 and 3:21, “Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.” So I think when we place others first starting, of course, with God The Father, He will empower us by the Holy Spirit to be able to submit to the second commandment. We can’t accomplish either on our own, nor can we obey the second without knowing the first. And I don’t think we can pick and choose from the other commandments what we want to obey.
Every Christian has their own path in relationship to and with God. So, then each of us must do our part through prayer and His guidance. Judging others is not what we are to do; ultimately it’s all up to God. I hope that makes sense to you. May God bless you!
Every Christian has their own path in relationship to and with God. So, then each of us must do our part through prayer and His guidance. Judging others is not what we are to do; ultimately it’s all up to God. I hope that makes sense to you. May God bless you!
No matter what the relationship, you forgive and move on, but you don't condone or make the conditions right for their sin. Separate yourself when abuse shows up. Even in the case of verbal abuse, the Bible says, "Its better to sleep on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Separate yourself from them during abuse).
In my case there is no honor for my biological parents, cause they've never been a parent to me other than DNA. There was no relationship. When you're not a parent you don't receive a parent's honor. But if you do have a relationship with a parent, remember no parent is perfect.
In my case there is no honor for my biological parents, cause they've never been a parent to me other than DNA. There was no relationship. When you're not a parent you don't receive a parent's honor. But if you do have a relationship with a parent, remember no parent is perfect.
D
Yeah, well, truthfully you're 14. When kids really are kids, they haven't developed a consistency in their personality. It's hard to take a real kid seriously when one week they want to fly and the next week they want to rule the world. It's not until 10-12 years old they start to get consistency. So count your "years" as maybe not even noticed yet. (Ought to be, but time surprises us for its speed when we get older. We're still thinking "kid," and next thing you know "kid" wants a driver's license. 
)
As for how long it takes? I was forced into trying the first time when I was 16. I don't think Dad caught the clues until I was in my 30's. And, me being me, I don't think I finally realized he did get this until I was in my 40's. (Sloowww learner. lol)
The truth is your parents don't ever have to know. You're doing the honoring (which I think is the same as respect) thing, not them. And it is hard. If it were easy, then we wouldn't need God's help, right?
)As for how long it takes? I was forced into trying the first time when I was 16. I don't think Dad caught the clues until I was in my 30's. And, me being me, I don't think I finally realized he did get this until I was in my 40's. (Sloowww learner. lol)
The truth is your parents don't ever have to know. You're doing the honoring (which I think is the same as respect) thing, not them. And it is hard. If it were easy, then we wouldn't need God's help, right?
D
Respect is honoring.
(And, some day, you'll have to learn some folks aren't worth respecting. Granted, parents, teachers, bosses, and the President of the United States get respect if for no other reason than their office, but outside of that, some folks just don't deserve it. I do not respect the leader of North Korea, Iran, and quite a few other countries. I don't respect murderers, rapists, or thugs. And I don't respect a few doctors and nurses who were supposed to take care of my husband last year. In some cases, respect needs to be earned.)
(And, some day, you'll have to learn some folks aren't worth respecting. Granted, parents, teachers, bosses, and the President of the United States get respect if for no other reason than their office, but outside of that, some folks just don't deserve it. I do not respect the leader of North Korea, Iran, and quite a few other countries. I don't respect murderers, rapists, or thugs. And I don't respect a few doctors and nurses who were supposed to take care of my husband last year. In some cases, respect needs to be earned.)
T
Yeah, well, truthfully you're 14. When kids really are kids, they haven't developed a consistency in their personality. It's hard to take a real kid seriously when one week they want to fly and the next week they want to rule the world. It's not until 10-12 years old they start to get consistency. So count your "years" as maybe not even noticed yet. (Ought to be, but time surprises us for its speed when we get older. We're still thinking "kid," and next thing you know "kid" wants a driver's license. )
As for how long it takes? I was forced into trying the first time when I was 16. I don't think Dad caught the clues until I was in my 30's. And, me being me, I don't think I finally realized he did get this until I was in my 40's. (Sloowww learner. lol)
The truth is your parents don't ever have to know. You're doing the honoring (which I think is the same as respect) thing, not them. And it is hard. If it were easy, then we wouldn't need God's help, right?
)As for how long it takes? I was forced into trying the first time when I was 16. I don't think Dad caught the clues until I was in my 30's. And, me being me, I don't think I finally realized he did get this until I was in my 40's. (Sloowww learner. lol)
The truth is your parents don't ever have to know. You're doing the honoring (which I think is the same as respect) thing, not them. And it is hard. If it were easy, then we wouldn't need God's help, right?
Okay.
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D
Why?
Seriously, why?
In a good relationship there aren't boundaries. In a rocky relationship, you might as well become a fence builder by trade, because someone is bound to bash in the boundaries all the time anyway. With no relationship, walking away does well.
You're always talking about boundaries. That's stuff to protect you only. It has little to do with God, the Bible, or Christianity. Matter of fact, when God established his people into the Promised Land one of the rules was no fences. Why? Because they were tribes/families. and you don't block out family no matter how utterly annoying they can be.
So, seriously, why?
Seriously, why?
In a good relationship there aren't boundaries. In a rocky relationship, you might as well become a fence builder by trade, because someone is bound to bash in the boundaries all the time anyway. With no relationship, walking away does well.
You're always talking about boundaries. That's stuff to protect you only. It has little to do with God, the Bible, or Christianity. Matter of fact, when God established his people into the Promised Land one of the rules was no fences. Why? Because they were tribes/families. and you don't block out family no matter how utterly annoying they can be.
So, seriously, why?
Pray for him and for yourself. God can help you love the unlovely. Hate the abuse, but not the abuser.
My father was not very easy to be with, but the time finally came when he needed me and admitted it. I was so glad that I had stayed near to him and was there in the end. The end will come. Live in a way that will enable you to look back, and honestly say, "no regrets."
My father was not very easy to be with, but the time finally came when he needed me and admitted it. I was so glad that I had stayed near to him and was there in the end. The end will come. Live in a way that will enable you to look back, and honestly say, "no regrets."
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