my pastor asked what are you doing for Jesus

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C

Cindy12

Senior Member
#1
Jan 5, 2015
243
11
18
#1
We've been going to a new small Christian church for about two months now. Week 1 the pastor invited us to a weekly small group bible study he hosts at his home for couples on Friday nights at 7 - including a meal in which everyone brings a dish based on the theme. My husband and I opted out because we both work full time jobs and on Fridays we don't get home until 6 pm and have no time to prepare a dish, get changed and back to his house 30 min away. Then he invited my husband to men's bible study/breakfast on Saturday mornings at 9. He has not gone because he doesn't want to spend the first three hours of our only 2 off days eating with the guys. We're structured folks. We both eat very healthy and don't spend money eating out. Every function the church has involves eating which takes up a lot of time. Today the pastor asked us what we do after first service. we go to the 930 service and there is one at 10:30. We told him we do our weekly grocery shopping and errands and then go on bike rides for exercise. He asked us what do we do FOR JESUS and not for us. I was taken by surprise because I didn't expect that. I told him we go often to Christian City to help the elderly get out of their rooms to service and to visit and take them outdoors. I didn't tell him about the mission trips to Honduras and money we send to help others there. . He asked us how he can plug us in to more at church. Are we wrong for not doing more there when we both work Monday thru Friday till 6 pm and only have 2 days to get everything else done in our home, yard, family, etc. he said he'd like us to take a lead and do something at church. I'm feeling stressed, overwhelmed and guilty too!! SHould I?? He also threw in two comments about a guy he said sold his truck and gave all the money to the to help pay off the building and told us all to dig deep to try and give any additional love offerings. Is this normal????
 
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JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#2
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
468
83
#2
It is hard to comment properly without knowing more. I am not going to make a comment specifically about the situation.
There could be so many variables.
It is almost like asking a doctor for a diagnosis without having any diagnostic work done.
Suffice to say that it is something that you need to pray on. God will show you and tell you what you need to know. Just keep a open mind and be prepared for the answer, whatever it is, whenever it comes, and however it may be delivered.
In the mean time, the Holy Spirit will guide you.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
42,738
17,198
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Tennessee
#3
Seriously, I would find a new church to attend. Your pastor seems like an intrusive busy body. I wouldn't give any additional 'love' offerings either. Tell the pastor to sell his car and donate the proceeds to the building.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#4
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
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#4
Do you have the feeling he is 'guilting' you?
 
H

His

Member
#6
Jan 30, 2017
87
1
0
#6
In my experience 2 weeks is far too soon to ask congregants to " get involved". Can't speak to anything else.
Blessings
 
C

Cindy12

Senior Member
#7
Jan 5, 2015
243
11
18
#7
Two months. We have gone with the church to feed and give coats to the homeless and things like this. We just have not gotten involved with the small group thing with meals.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#8
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#8
Cindy12 said:
Yep. I have that feeling. I just hate to think he would do that.
Click to expand...
Well, I'm not saying you have to act on them, but don't ignore those feelings, either.

However, that being said, there's really not much point in going to a church if you don't feel a desire to get involved with the people there.

The 'small groups' are really the heart of any church.
 
H

His

Member
#9
Jan 30, 2017
87
1
0
#9
Oops sorry.. There does tend to be a lot of eating associated with church. However meals and fellowship seem to go hand in hand.
To each his own. It's really your choice to participate or not. Every now and then wouldn't hurt you or your schedule much,and might bring you closer to others at your church.
 
M

mariner845

Guest
#10
#10
I'm paraphrasing but Jesus said that when you give do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, because if you act like some people who give to receive praises from men then you have already gotten your reward and you will not receive praises from God.

That scripture was directed at monetary giving but I try to apply it to all sacrifices and good works, you weren't put on this earth to do what the pastor wants so you can receive his blessings and meet whatever quota he thinks is good enough for him. We should do works for our love of God and love of other people, what you do outside of the Church isn't done for the pastor, its done for God and other people out of love.

Your loyalty is to God and not to a pastor, I'm sure the pastor only has good intentions and would like to see you more involved with fellowship, that's important for every Christian. But you shouldn't be concerned with meeting the pastors standards, God is our only true judge.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#11
#11
It's not normal in the churches we've stayed with. Then again, it's not normal because if we hit such a church, we'd leave after being browbeaten over handing in cash after selling our one and only car.

On the other hand, church meals for a two-income family is fairly easy. Think "crockpot." Flip all the ingredients in the pot in the morning, and it's ready to go when you come home from work.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#12
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,960
113
#12
This is crass and unconscionable manipulation! It is one thing for the pastor to be interested in new comers, but he sounds like he wants to overwhelm you with a cult mentality. There are many ways to serve Jesus outside of a church, and perhaps you are doing that already, from what you said?

Small groups are nice, if you have time and energy. But families are more important, and that should be your first priority.

I have to agree with Tourist, your new church may not be the right fit for you and your family.
 
OneFaith

OneFaith

Senior Member
#13
Sep 5, 2016
2,270
369
83
#13
Cindy12 said:
We've been going to a new small Christian church for about two months now. Week 1 the pastor invited us to a weekly small group bible study he hosts at his home for couples on Friday nights at 7 - including a meal in which everyone brings a dish based on the theme. My husband and I opted out because we both work full time jobs and on Fridays we don't get home until 6 pm and have no time to prepare a dish, get changed and back to his house 30 min away. Then he invited my husband to men's bible study/breakfast on Saturday mornings at 9. He has not gone because he doesn't want to spend the first three hours of our only 2 off days eating with the guys. We're structured folks. We both eat very healthy and don't spend money eating out. Every function the church has involves eating which takes up a lot of time. Today the pastor asked us what we do after first service. we go to the 930 service and there is one at 10:30. We told him we do our weekly grocery shopping and errands and then go on bike rides for exercise. He asked us what do we do FOR JESUS and not for us. I was taken by surprise because I didn't expect that. I told him we go often to Christian City to help the elderly get out of their rooms to service and to visit and take them outdoors. I didn't tell him about the mission trips to Honduras and money we send to help others there. . He asked us how he can plug us in to more at church. Are we wrong for not doing more there when we both work Monday thru Friday till 6 pm and only have 2 days to get everything else done in our home, yard, family, etc. he said he'd like us to take a lead and do something at church. I'm feeling stressed, overwhelmed and guilty too!! SHould I?? He also threw in two comments about a guy he said sold his truck and gave all the money to the to help pay off the building and told us all to dig deep to try and give any additional love offerings. Is this normal????
Click to expand...
Yeah it's normal- for a priest who loves money.

God says our bodies are the temple of God, and that we should care for it. So when we do, we do it for God. God says if we take care of others but not our own family- that that's shameful. The Bible says work with your hands- doing dishes and preparing dinner IS working with your hands. They don't call it "houseWORK" for nothing. I don't know about you, but I've worked up a sweat doing housework.

Some may think of Christian fruits as giving money and doing duties at the church building- you know, the things that effect them personally, and that the things that don't effect them personally are not fruitful- this is selfishness and judging. The fruits the Bible is talking about are not physical but spiritual- the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). It is loving to take care of yourself and your household, and your congregation when you can. It is fruitful to give of your money and time as part of your whole fruit tree, but if someone views that part like it should be the whole thing, they are being self-centered.
 
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PeterJens

PeterJens

Banned
#14
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#14
This sounds like a church trying to build a community.

The difference is the community should be driven by love and desire to get to know each
other and want to spend time together, not because a pastor manipulates people into
giving. This is always a difficult divide, when people have such busy lives, and church
is very much a few hours a week.

The best way to tell the health of a church is their view of other groups.
If it is aggressive and critical, it is going towards elitism, if it is open and encouraging,
then love is the highest agenda.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#15
#15
Cindy12 said:
We've been going to a new small Christian church for about two months now. Week 1 the pastor invited us to a weekly small group bible study he hosts at his home for couples on Friday nights at 7 - including a meal in which everyone brings a dish based on the theme. My husband and I opted out because we both work full time jobs and on Fridays we don't get home until 6 pm and have no time to prepare a dish, get changed and back to his house 30 min away. Then he invited my husband to men's bible study/breakfast on Saturday mornings at 9. He has not gone because he doesn't want to spend the first three hours of our only 2 off days eating with the guys. We're structured folks. We both eat very healthy and don't spend money eating out. Every function the church has involves eating which takes up a lot of time. Today the pastor asked us what we do after first service. we go to the 930 service and there is one at 10:30. We told him we do our weekly grocery shopping and errands and then go on bike rides for exercise. He asked us what do we do FOR JESUS and not for us. I was taken by surprise because I didn't expect that. I told him we go often to Christian City to help the elderly get out of their rooms to service and to visit and take them outdoors. I didn't tell him about the mission trips to Honduras and money we send to help others there. . He asked us how he can plug us in to more at church. Are we wrong for not doing more there when we both work Monday thru Friday till 6 pm and only have 2 days to get everything else done in our home, yard, family, etc. he said he'd like us to take a lead and do something at church. I'm feeling stressed, overwhelmed and guilty too!! SHould I?? He also threw in two comments about a guy he said sold his truck and gave all the money to the to help pay off the building and told us all to dig deep to try and give any additional love offerings. Is this normal????
Click to expand...
I would find a new church.

I think it's awesome you help folks get to service and with the Hondurus mission.

Our church helps support a team that goes too. They help support a hospital and church with supplies and labor, construction, etc.

Maybe the pastor is just young. If you do stay, bring up the fact you don't have a lot of time and prefer meetings without food?

Perhaps test if the pastor is about "his church" or Christ's by inviting him and other members of the church to join you in a mission trip to Hondurus?

Support can be prayers, people going with you, gathering supplies they need there or money. That's how our church helps.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#16
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
113
#16
This right here.. :)


tourist said:
Seriously, I would find a new church to attend. Your pastor seems like an intrusive busy body. I wouldn't give any additional 'love' offerings either. Tell the pastor to sell his car and donate the proceeds to the building.
Click to expand...
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#17
#17
OneFaith said:
Yeah it's normal- for a priest who loves money.

God says our bodies are the temple of God, and that we should care for it. So when we do, we do it for God. God says if we take care of others but not our own family- that that's shameful. The Bible says work with your hands- doing dishes and preparing dinner IS working with your hands. They don't call it "houseWORK" for nothing. I don't know about you, but I've worked up a sweat doing housework.

Some may think of Christian fruits as giving money and doing duties at the church building- you know, the things that effect them personally, and that the things that don't effect them personally are not fruitful- this is selfishness and judging. The fruits the Bible is talking about are not physical but spiritual- the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). It is loving to take care of yourself and your household, and your congregation when you can. It is fruitful to give of your money and time as part of your whole fruit tree, but if someone views that part like it should be the whole thing, they are being self-centered.
Click to expand...
I don't know every denom and nondenom, but the only people I've ever heard of that call pastors "priests" are Catholics. And, seriously, dude? Catholic priest are NOT into love of money. They took a vow of poverty, and, man! They really live it! I've never known a rich priest. Matter of fact, they don't even get pension plans.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#18
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#18
Cindy12 said:
We've been going to a new small Christian church for about two months now. Week 1 the pastor invited us to a weekly small group bible study he hosts at his home for couples on Friday nights at 7 - including a meal in which everyone brings a dish based on the theme. My husband and I opted out because we both work full time jobs and on Fridays we don't get home until 6 pm and have no time to prepare a dish, get changed and back to his house 30 min away. Then he invited my husband to men's bible study/breakfast on Saturday mornings at 9. He has not gone because he doesn't want to spend the first three hours of our only 2 off days eating with the guys. We're structured folks. We both eat very healthy and don't spend money eating out. Every function the church has involves eating which takes up a lot of time. Today the pastor asked us what we do after first service. we go to the 930 service and there is one at 10:30. We told him we do our weekly grocery shopping and errands and then go on bike rides for exercise. He asked us what do we do FOR JESUS and not for us. I was taken by surprise because I didn't expect that. I told him we go often to Christian City to help the elderly get out of their rooms to service and to visit and take them outdoors. I didn't tell him about the mission trips to Honduras and money we send to help others there. . He asked us how he can plug us in to more at church. Are we wrong for not doing more there when we both work Monday thru Friday till 6 pm and only have 2 days to get everything else done in our home, yard, family, etc. he said he'd like us to take a lead and do something at church. I'm feeling stressed, overwhelmed and guilty too!! SHould I?? He also threw in two comments about a guy he said sold his truck and gave all the money to the to help pay off the building and told us all to dig deep to try and give any additional love offerings. Is this normal????
Click to expand...
I don’t know what is normal.

The guy sounds high pressure to me. It is normal for a pastor to prod his people a bit, but you should be tuned into what the Lord is asking of you, not what your pastor is asking of you.

The first thing the Lord wants us to do is to obey his commandments.

Once we start doing that, we will find that we enjoy serving him (and his church) in certain ways. I am retired and go up to the church every Monday to help with maintenance chores. I also sing in the church choir. I enjoy doing these things. No pastor is twisting my arm.

As for money, the Lord and I talk about that, and he put some pressure on me to give a little more this year than I’d been giving in the past. Once again, this is between you and the Lord, not you and your pastor.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#19
Jun 30, 2015
25,827
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#19
"What are you doing for Jesus?" Well, what I read in the OP is that you are serving Jesus by serving your husband, by being faithful in your work, and by being generous with your time and resources as you are able. Caring for your home is legitimate, and so is having genuine rest. It seems to me that your pastor is trying to define for you what generosity, commitment, involvement, etc. look like. That's not his role. That's the role of the Holy Spirit... trust Him to lead you where to get involved, and don't bow to pressure from the pastor. :)
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#20
May 17, 2013
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#20
Well there is giving and then there is sacrificial giving. Same with service to the Lord. Perhaps it's not pastor who is making you question but the urging of the Holy Spirit. Could you sacrifice your bike riding to serve the Lord? Not saying you are wrong but the Lord may be using this church to prompt you to greater service for Gods glory.

Ec 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
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