God doesn't play matchmaker
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Now that I am home and have a real computer on which to type, I will answer this more thoroughly.
I have a friend who used to hang around this forum. The reason my friend no longer hangs around this forum is because there are so many people who actively seek debates here, apparently for no better reason than for the fun of arguing. I kind of miss the comments my friend used to make on this forum. My friend's comments were a lot better than the argument junk that displaced them.
Born_Again I found a friend for you.
S
Susanna
Guest
You made a wrong turn just before you got to that little shop of horror at the gates of the B.D.F...lol.
*double facepalm
It's not a theory. Without faith it is impossible to please God. It's from the scriptures. God can choose anyone to give favor to but it is clear from your own post that with a faith like a grain of mustard God can let you do anything and that is favor. Stop convincing me that God does not give favors because it makes me feel ungrateful to God for all the good and also the bad things in life.
Based on experience I would have to say that if you prayed to God to find you a loving person to become your spouse, then yes, God is a matchmaker. He will not however force you to get married to anyone whether or not he had a part in the choice.
R
renewed_hope
Guest
Okay, I believe this entire thing got way out of hand than it was originally meant to be. Tink, I do think you brought up very valid points, but its not up to us to dictate what is a favor from God and what is not. Yes, we have an idea on what we want, but believe me when I tell you what God wants for us is so much better than we could ever envision for ourselves. When a person comes accepts Christ in their life they profess with their mouth he is Lord, right? Well, there is a whole other step that many people forget or "choose" to forget and that is to live out the great commission (Matthew 28:16-20). Faith without works is dead and I firmly believe that with this as well. God wants to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts, BUT we just don't get it by just clicking our heels and believe it, there are actions associated with God blessing us. In fact I believe it matures us as believers if we allow God to show us things, listen, read the bible in its entirety and you will see what God desires for your life. Disney got it all wrong with Prince Charming swiftly taking the princess away and living happily ever after. He may want you to go overseas and help with a ministry project and that may be where God wants you to be so you will find your future, but you never would have known if you didn't step out there in faith. But like I said we all have our fleshly desires, to live in a cookie cutter house with the perfect little family (not mine of course, but just an idea), but we have these hiccups in life that are not planned, but if we live out our walk in Christ and pray earnestly without wavering you will find that these small hiccups are to teach you how to be stronger in him and what the rainbow will bring after the storm is more than you could ever picture for yourself, but you gotta live it out with a little action.
And btw, no one here is telling you that God does not favor those that love him and have a relationship with them because he does, but there is actions that go with this concept and those favors are not necessarily what we may think they are....anyways, that is my thought and I sure hope it makes sense
Okay, I believe this entire thing got way out of hand than it was originally meant to be. Tink, I do think you brought up very valid points, but its not up to us to dictate what is a favor from God and what is not. Yes, we have an idea on what we want, but believe me when I tell you what God wants for us is so much better than we could ever envision for ourselves. When a person comes accepts Christ in their life they profess with their mouth he is Lord, right? Well, there is a whole other step that many people forget or "choose" to forget and that is to live out the great commission (Matthew 28:16-20). Faith without works is dead and I firmly believe that with this as well. God wants to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts, BUT we just don't get it by just clicking our heels and believe it, there are actions associated with God blessing us. In fact I believe it matures us as believers if we allow God to show us things, listen, read the bible in its entirety and you will see what God desires for your life. Disney got it all wrong with Prince Charming swiftly taking the princess away and living happily ever after. He may want you to go overseas and help with a ministry project and that may be where God wants you to be so you will find your future, but you never would have known if you didn't step out there in faith. But like I said we all have our fleshly desires, to live in a cookie cutter house with the perfect little family (not mine of course, but just an idea), but we have these hiccups in life that are not planned, but if we live out our walk in Christ and pray earnestly without wavering you will find that these small hiccups are to teach you how to be stronger in him and what the rainbow will bring after the storm is more than you could ever picture for yourself, but you gotta live it out with a little action.
And btw, no one here is telling you that God does not favor those that love him and have a relationship with them because he does, but there is actions that go with this concept and those favors are not necessarily what we may think they are....anyways, that is my thought and I sure hope it makes sense
I don't get what is your argument with me. Looks like we are saying the same thing. Let's stay on the topic. Scriptures say those who find a spouse gains favor from God. It is clear that it is a favor. A privilige not a right. I am not saying that by having faith we are entitled to God's favor. God can still choose who He will bless according to His purposes. If God does not give you a spouse, who knows God is actually doing you a favor?
Yes, I get this isnt the BDF forum, but why is it okay to use self created theology in this forum? Are singles not allowed to discuss biblical context when it applied to their situation? "Yes, you can say all the edifying things you want in here to encourage, but context isnt important as long as it makes you feel better" Are they afraid to? And, really, could this not also contribute to why they are still single? If you misunderstand the context of what God is saying, then you set yourself up. Then you're sliding down the back side of 40 years old still waiting for prince charming to come scooting into your life...
As a single in my early 20's I asked a girl out in my church as I didn't want to wait for God. In the end it didn't work out being me and the girl as she wasn't interested in dating me and only saw me as a friend nothing me. I can say at least I took a shot rather than doing nothing in my 20's. I am 30 years old now and just feel better being single and don't want to deal with finding a women for to date which would lead to marriage. It just feels like I have to do all of the work and just pray that I get lucky.
If your attitude at the time was that you wanted to ask her out because you did not want to wait on God, that probably wasn't he right attitude.
I made a decision about a job once that I didn't pray about. I think I didn't pray about it because I was afraid the Lord would lead me other wise. Thinking back on it, I didn't have peace about it, and I wish I wouldn't have taken that job now. The same sort of thing can happen with dating.
But if you trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge the Lord, and trust Him to direct your paths, you can pray and then go make a decision. You can start a relationship, by which I mean get to know someone else. But one should be careful not to raise expectations before the time and break someone's heart.
It was that and I didn't want her to end up with someone else at the time. Also my mom pretty much forced me to ask her out continually even though she would say the same excuse "I am busy with family coming over" every week I would call her up. I really didn't have a relationship with the girl, it was more like I like you or have a crush and want to ask you out without knowing you one on one. We had hanged out in church groups and outings and she did show that she liked me but I guess she was being friendly and I mistook those signs as something else. At least she was upfront with me and told me that she didn't like me and would never go out with me.
Well. We can have a long or short discussion about what is the definition of "mach". I believe that God will lead people to each other sometimes by "accident" (nothing is accident to God but some may seem to man) some by actual guidance.
My personal case was that I had told God that I was unhappy for my situation. I told that I don't care what sort of solution he have for me but I want something to change and I don't know what to do or where to start. That I think is how we should behave. Leave the planning for him and be ready if / when required to do what God wants us to do.
God didn't made us as robots. He may lead the woman behind the door, but man still have to open that door and then he have to choose to talk to the woman.
I remember some people said before that people like to look or ask something they want to have. Instead they should ask God teach them and to give them what they need.
For me God told me go and look for my wife. He told me how to find her but left it to me to the job for going and actually finding her.
I had prayed wife who is best possible for me and the one who I like and with who I be happy.
I can tell you that the woman I found was now what I wanted, she was the woman who I needed and STILL God gave me possibilities to choose. And those choices set up the first years of our relationship.
After my experience I would say that if we want something as important as spouse, we shouldn't just sit down idle.
Seek first the kingdom of heaven is where I would advice everyone to start. True connection to God is two way. We can tell him our thoughts and we CAN hear his answers.
I think jumping into dating someone without knowing them as a person was my mistake. I have never been good at forming a relationship with the opposite sex before. I am shy and it's usually hard to come out of my shell and finding the guts to want to know someone a bit better.
I never broke the girl's heart, we never dated or officially went out on a date per say. It was more of I was tried of her playing hard to get and being sort of wishy washy like I really want to go out but have this thing that came up. It just lead to her being "busy with family" over the few times I called her up to go to the movies on Saturday or whatever else I wanted to do.
I would say she broke my heart, I had all of these emotions of this is the girl for me, I am gonna marry this girl and have her children, etc. I guess you can say that I lusted after her which was wrong as I should have not been so sexually invested in wanting to get a Christian girlfriend when I was in my early 20's and had my hormons going crazy. After getting the hint she was "busy", I stopped talking to her and just gave her the cold shoulder. She in turn did the same thing and avoided me like the plague. Eventually she and her family moved from my church and she went to a Spanish church. I tried my best to move on but the damage had been done by this girl. I didn't how to feel mad or sad or a bit of both?
The girl eventually met a young man who was in his late 20's and they dated. I never knew about it as I lost interest in the girl over time. The girl would get pregnant by her boyfriend and her mom found out. The girl got into a huge argument with her mom and ran off with her boyfriend. She and her boyfriend got married at the courthouse from what I heard. I eventually saw the girl again for the last time at my church. We had a dinner and were about to merge with another church and had a huge celebration. I saw her and her husband and her husband could have easily been her older brother maybe father as he was huge like 5'11 or 6'4 towering over her. Her husband and herself and baby were in the back of the church at the cafeteria later that night. Everyone made such a huge deal about her as it's been forever since this girl has been apart of our church. I glanced at her noticed that she had a look of sadness on her face and waved at me. I myself had a look of wanting to cry. I guess I never got over this girl as seeing her just brought by memories.
Well, I'm married and saw this thread on the front page.
I believe God matched my wife and I up. I saw her about a year before we had our first conversation, at the school I worked at. We figured out later that we had met, and I remember asking God about I could marry a woman like that some day after I saw her.
A year or so later, we had our first conversation, not realizing we'd been introduced before. She told me later she knew when she met me, I was the one she was supposed to marry. I went home praying and asking the Lord if this was the woman I was supposed to marry.
A couple of months before, I upped the intensity in praying for a wife. It seemed like the Lord had told me a week or two before we met that I'd meet my wife that month. I wasn't sure I was hearing the Lord. Later, it seemed like the Lord was telling me when I asked that this was the woman who was to be my wife. One time, my then-future wife got really upset while we were talking on the phone. I prayed about it, and got this story about her background, something when she was a child, that explained why she was upset. The next time I was on the phone, she told me the story, the story I heard in prayer, that explained why she'd gotten upset. That helped me realize that I was hearing right.
After I asked her to marry me, she showed me the prayer journal where she'd written her prayer asking for us to be together after she came home from our first conversation.
I believe God matched my wife and I up. I saw her about a year before we had our first conversation, at the school I worked at. We figured out later that we had met, and I remember asking God about I could marry a woman like that some day after I saw her.
A year or so later, we had our first conversation, not realizing we'd been introduced before. She told me later she knew when she met me, I was the one she was supposed to marry. I went home praying and asking the Lord if this was the woman I was supposed to marry.
A couple of months before, I upped the intensity in praying for a wife. It seemed like the Lord had told me a week or two before we met that I'd meet my wife that month. I wasn't sure I was hearing the Lord. Later, it seemed like the Lord was telling me when I asked that this was the woman who was to be my wife. One time, my then-future wife got really upset while we were talking on the phone. I prayed about it, and got this story about her background, something when she was a child, that explained why she was upset. The next time I was on the phone, she told me the story, the story I heard in prayer, that explained why she'd gotten upset. That helped me realize that I was hearing right.
After I asked her to marry me, she showed me the prayer journal where she'd written her prayer asking for us to be together after she came home from our first conversation.