If I'm Single For Too Much Longer, I'm Going To...

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If I'm Single for Too Much Longer, I'm Going To...

  • Join Thursday night Bingo. I just need to keep a card with me at all times in order to remember how

    Votes: 1 3.1%

  • Buy a rocking chair (which will be my primary means of transportation.)

    Votes: 4 12.5%

  • Start collecting cats. (How many is your limit?)

    Votes: 3 9.4%

  • Start acquiring animals. (Which kinds and how many?)

    Votes: 2 6.3%

  • Start obtaining animals of all kinds--and open a zoo.(I can tell potential dates that I own my own b

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Become that creepy person who sits on a park bench and stares at everyone.

    Votes: 4 12.5%

  • Take up knitting--it'll come in handy when making sweaters for all my cats. (Sorry, chickswithsticks

    Votes: 3 9.4%

  • Play video games indefinitely while slamming Cheetos and Mountain Dew. (Which games, and which other

    Votes: 9 28.1%

  • Watch romantic movies 24/7. I like to torture myself with constant reminders of things I want but do

    Votes: 4 12.5%

  • Take up gourmet cooking--in the form of Hungry Man XXL frozen dinners.

    Votes: 7 21.9%

  • Welcome to the Jungle (my house will be overrun with plants... and other green things I will try to

    Votes: 1 3.1%

  • Meet other single people for coffee at McDonald's every morning--and complain about being single.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Quit shaving and grow that awesome beard I've always wanted. (Ladies, don't be afraid to admit this

    Votes: 7 21.9%

  • Become "that house at the end of the street" that everyone says is occupied by a creepy old person,

    Votes: 6 18.8%

  • Other -- There are so many awesome, humorous, sarcastic things to do as a single, I don't know where

    Votes: 7 21.9%
  • Total voters
    32
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#81
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#81
Apparently I've been nominated by certain CC members, as being the crazy orange cat lady.. It's a title I wear with honor. :eek:
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#82
#82
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
Right you are. You know, you could always use my old tried and true pick-up line:

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
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I'd have to target small men, I'm not physically very strong and may not have enough strength to drag one away to my secret lair. Good thoughts, I'll keep it in mind.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#83
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,152
113
#83
slave said:
~ Create an incident ~


"Oh, .....Sorry!....I didn't mean to bump into you, I'm blind is all, perhaps you can help me to my large estate? I'll pay you handsomely just for staying there a lifetime! Smile. What luck it was bumping into you, I've been so lonely!" :cool:.
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Seems like a Barney Stinson play.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#85
#85
Tommy379 said:
I'll pay you $60 to let me watch you shoot a semi-automatic rifle.
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Sure, video yourself shooting it at the range and I'll watch it on my computer. You can send me a money order.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#86
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,152
113
#86
Lynx said:
I hear tell that Chuck Norris once went to a Burger King and ordered a sausage egg and cheese biscuit but they wouldn't make him one because it was five minutes after breakfast time. He went outside and roundhouse-kicked the whole building so hard that it turned into a Wendy's.
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Chuck Norris went to Burger king, orderd a sausage McGriddle, and got it.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#87
#87
Tommy379 said:
Some people at work want to throw me a divorce party..... doesn't seem like much fun.
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Divorce is so expensive because it's worth it.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#88
#88
Galatea said:
I'd have to target small men, I'm not physically very strong and may not have enough strength to drag one away to my secret lair. Good thoughts, I'll keep it in mind.
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It's all about body mechanics. If you can learn how to properly do a fireman's carry, you'd be shocked at how large a person you can haul off.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#91
#91
If I'm single for too much longer...

I'm going to start an awareness campaign to Save the Canolas. Did you know that there are millions of homeless, 3 legged Canolas out there in the world who are forcefully squeezed for their oil? Did you know that's where Canola Oil comes from? It's a terrible situation, and for only $1 a day, you can help to save these precious little creatures.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#92
#92
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
It's all about body mechanics. If you can learn how to properly do a fireman's carry, you'd be shocked at how large a person you can haul off.
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Sounds like you know how to work this angle. You DID say it was a tried and true method. I'll have to practice this thing before I go get my unsuspecting chump.
 
N

NoNameMcgee

Guest
#94
#94
Tommy379 said:
Yeah, but paying monthly to a woman not to have sex with me seems worse than paying a woman to have sex with me.
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lol this is soooo bad...

but i did laugh
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#96
#96
Tommy379 said:
Yeah, but paying monthly to a woman not to have sex with me seems worse than paying a woman to have sex with me.
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Well, the next time you get the bright idea to get involved with a woman, just skip all the hullabaloo and find some woman you don't like and buy her a house.
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#99
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#99
Tommy379 said:
Now I know who has a sense of humor.
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Isn't it the (spirit-sensed) humor we are to recognize? Is all senses of humor from the same spirit? Just recognizing biblical principles is all......:).
 
G

GaryA

Guest
#100
#100
Create the 100th post in this thread...

:rolleyes:
 
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