You think you're so punny!

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Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
 
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
 
I once voted for two president candidates of USA by voting twice in one day(at school)one vote for each,who won???
not me!(true story)
 
have you seen your reflection today?
has it seen you?
can you agree their can't be two of "You"???
 
when looking in a mirror do you see what you like and like what you see?
until you realize you are out to "sea"!?
 
what is the difference between a hamster and a gerbil???.................I don't know either.
 
the roof is on fire!?
hurry follow me!
now listen closely take that radio and throw it in the garbage,don't ask why just do it!(doesn't like the hip hop songs!)
 
I have my degrees right here 10 degrees,20 degrees,and so on,"can I be a professor"? "could you repeat that within a degree of reason"?
 
hello,I'm 300 pounds and 5'5 in height my friends call me "slim"!
 
A guy wrote ten puns hoping to make people laugh. They were bad puns. Making people laugh - no pun in ten did.
 
hi I'm "victor" my wife's name is "victoria" our dog's name is "victory" our two children are named "vick" and "vicky","and your parents what do you "call them"? We can't call them they live in Victoria Texas,and their cat "Vixen" slashed their phone wires and they refuse to ask for their electrician "Vick's" help.
 
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