Reasons You Should NOT Date Me

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Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#1
#1
*This thread is satirical, presented in fun, and the stomping ground for those of us who appreciate and can implement self-deprecating humor*

*If your intent is to crap all over this thread with your holier-than-thou attitudes, please consult your map and make your way back to the BDF where you belong*

In this thread, you share the reasons why people should NOT date you. Not a pity party; not fishing for compliments from the other respondents; not a way to take swipes at other members or the other gender. Granted, nobody will follow the rules, and this thread won't make it past page one without some old fart jumping in beating on all of us with his twisted interpretation of Scripture, but we'll give it a go anyhow.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#2
#2
You shouldn't date me, because I rather have my bassoon reed in my mouth than your tongue.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#3
#3
You should not date me because you would be further down my list of priorities than things like:

Painting my Warhammer 40k miniatures
Reading sci-fi novels
Endless hours of YouTube
Sleeping, naps, dozing off for a bit
 
T

toinena

Guest
#4
#4
You shouldn't date me because the only sci-fi character I can like is Marvin the Paranoid Android.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#5
#5
You shouldn't date me, because I serve rotten fish on the first date.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#6
#6
You shouldn't date me because I'm the kind of woman your mother prayed you shouldn't meet.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#7
#7
toinena said:
You shouldn't date me, because I serve rotten fish on the first date.
Click to expand...
You're Norwegian? This is a reason TO date you, if only they knew :D.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#8
#8
Tinuviel said:
You're Norwegian? This is a reason TO date you, if only they knew :D.
Click to expand...
Guilty as charge. Yes. I am Norwegian. And rakfisk that is so mature that it spreads on your potoato bread like butter, is as close to culinaric heaven I can get. I should then rephrase my statement:

You shouldn't date me because I am Norwegian.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#9
#9
toinena said:
Guilty as charge. Yes. I am Norwegian. And rakfisk that is so mature that it spreads on your potoato bread like butter, is as close to culinaric heaven I can get. I should then rephrase my statement:

You shouldn't date me because I am Norwegian.
Click to expand...
Oh good! Maybe you're someone who can answer my question: I have been told that rakfisk is close in taste to lutefisk. Is this so?
 
Conversationand

Conversationand

Senior Member
#10
Jun 24, 2017
368
20
0
#10
Susanna said:
You shouldn't date me because I'm the kind of woman your mother prayed you shouldn't meet.
Click to expand...

A potsmoking, pagan, lead singer of a punk rock band with a fondness for alcohol and tattoos who only likes me for my motorcycle?
 
T

toinena

Guest
#11
#11
Tinuviel. Lutefisk is just like jello with a nasty taste of something that reminds of fish. No! Not like lutefisk at all! More like a stinky French cheese. If you are ever in Norway, I hope you will stop by. I will be happy to serve you rakfisk with all the trimmings.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#12
#12
You shouldn't date me because I'm a great cook. Yes, that's a problem. You'll never be skinny again!











(I'm actually not a great cook, but you had to admit it was funny :p).
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#13
#13
toinena said:
Tinuviel. Lutefisk is just like jello with a nasty taste of something that reminds of fish. No! Not like lutefisk at all! More like a stinky French cheese. If you are ever in Norway, I hope you will stop by. I will be happy to serve you rakfisk with all the trimmings.
Click to expand...
If I'm ever In Norway, I might just take up on that offer. Though not being a huge fan of fish I can't promise that I'd enjoy that part of your hospitality. But at least I can promise that the very idea wouldn't scare me away as it would some people :p.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#14
#14
Well... I could serve you sheep's head instead.... I will not eat it with you... I have my limitations. But we could perhaps snack on some reindeer hearts together afterwards.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#15
#15
You should not date me because I don't share my feelings, I don't share anything else either, and I DON'T CUDDLE.

Ever.
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#16
#16
My ex was abusive and we broke up just three months ago. I am an emotional mess. I have daddy issues and a low self-esteem.
I can laugh about it now...but I'm also being honest. :p
 
H

HipsterChristian

Banned
#17
Aug 10, 2017
18
0
0
#17
MollyConnor said:
My ex was abusive and we broke up just three months ago. I am an emotional mess. I have daddy issues and a low self-esteem.
I can laugh about it now...but I'm also being honest. :p
Click to expand...
I am very sorry to hear that. You will be in my prayers.
 
NotmebutHim

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
#19
May 17, 2015
2,938
1,609
113
48
#19
You should NOT date me because I crack my knuckles. :)
 
WineRose

WineRose

Senior Member
#20
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
#20
*3 year time skip*

If you don't like dating dead people, don't date me, because I'm already dead inside.

(Also, I'm not real...)
 
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