Ok, and here's where I have to give my deep, dark confession.
I always find it fascinating that different people are more comfortable communicating in different ways. For whatever reason, I could pretty much write 24/7, almost every day of the week... But I can't handle a chat more than once every couple of weeks, at most. I enjoy them, but can only take so much because:
1. I'm trying so hard to pay attention to people talking and typing at the same time. I know that in our last chat, I missed my chance to speak on the mic at least 3 times because I was trying to keep up with all the written communication as well--making sure people who didn't have mics were greeted and acknowledged, as well as keeping up with who was speaking, along with a couple of people who were trying to PM me at the same time.
It's all good, but just kind of overwhelming.
2. In my experience, chats usually dissolve into 2 or 3 people constantly on the mic who will then dominate the conversation with ONLY what they want to talk about, and when it comes down to this, I don't stay long. (And I don't mean this as put-down to anyone who loves chat, but just as an observation and explanation as to why, in most cases, I can't do chats night after night.)
This is one of my problems when it comes to connecting with people in real life, too--they want to tell me all about what they're interested in, but never once ask me about what I'm into or what I like. And even when I do try to talk about, they're bored to tears, and quickly turn the conversation back to themselves again. Sometimes I stay and listen in order to be polite... but the past few years, I've been ditching those situations in order to seek more truly interactive experiences.
I know it seems hypocritical with as much as I write threads, but I hope it's also noticed that my communication is almost always geared towards getting OTHER people to start talking, especially those who have never really been given a chance to talk. I share a lot in writing because it's the only way I seem to be able to coax others into writing about themselves.
This is why I could never write a book or a blog, as much as I appreciate people telling me I should. I always see the purpose of my communication as a way of getting people to interact with me and with each other, and if that's not happening, I'll turn my efforts elsewhere.
This would be my main purpose in a chat as well--to make sure the conversation is as evenly distributed as possible and that hopefully everyone who wants to share is able to (or is coaxed/encouraged into doing so.) I can admit first hand that I'd mostly be there to try to break up any monopolies on the mic in order to try to make sure as many people as possible are talking.
I can be interested in anything another person is into--as long as it's genuinely reciprocated back to me. And if that's not happening, for me, the next best thing is to try to get as many people to share as possible in order to throw out a wide variety of ideas.
3. Lastly, hey, let's face it: I'm pretty boring.
Unless it's in writing, I actually DO run out of things to say rather quickly, and certainly wouldn't have anything very interesting to tell everyone night after night.
And for me, after a while, it becomes more about presence--like, let's get some activity going or let's both work on our separate hobbies but keep each other company... which, unfortunately, is really hard to achieve that with only an online chat.
But I'll definitely be open to trying to set up more chats in the future, and hopefully it will be with as many of our peeps here in Singles as possible.
