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Hi Ashley,
I'm going to be the contrary voice from those who have spoken thus far.
If you love the man you're living and have a child with, he's a good man, and you are both seeking the Lord, MARRY HIM.
Sooner than later. Find a healthy church where you can mature in Christ and find mature believers who can help mentor you in your faith and your marriage.
Marriage/divorce/remarriage is not what sends people to hell - not being in Christ is what sends people to hell.
There is grace for the errors we make in life - all of your sins were dealt with at the Cross - you ARE FORGIVEN. Grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and helps us to lead godly and upright lives (see Titus 2:11-14). Grace allows for mistakes - often that's how we learn. And when we mess up (whatever the sin may be), know that in Christ, you can come to God's throne of grace with confidence:
Note that it's not when we're NOT in need that we can approach God's throne of grace, but when we're in need (contextually, when we sin), so that we can find mercy and find grace to HELP US in our time of need!
Ashley, God loves you. And those scriptures above don't say that you can only approach God or are forgiven "UNLESS you're divorced and get remarried." There are believers out there who, for a variety of reasons, take a very hard line against those who have divorced. But realize that JESUS and HIS work on the Cross, the Resurrection, His ascension, and His Perfect High Priesthood qualifies you for the Kingdom of God, not your marital history/status.
Here's a link to a christian call-in show that addresses this issue. Click and go to about 27 minutes in for some good, godly perspective: http://cwrmedia.org/app_media/sirius/2016/2016-02-13.mp3
That whole website is a great place for growth in Christ, by the way - I hope you find it to be a helpful resource.
I pray grace and peace over you and your little family, and that you will find a HEALTHY place in which to fellowship and grow. Please let me know (PM me) how it all works out.
Much love in Christ,
-JGIG
I'm going to be the contrary voice from those who have spoken thus far.
If you love the man you're living and have a child with, he's a good man, and you are both seeking the Lord, MARRY HIM.
Sooner than later. Find a healthy church where you can mature in Christ and find mature believers who can help mentor you in your faith and your marriage.
Marriage/divorce/remarriage is not what sends people to hell - not being in Christ is what sends people to hell.
There is grace for the errors we make in life - all of your sins were dealt with at the Cross - you ARE FORGIVEN. Grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and helps us to lead godly and upright lives (see Titus 2:11-14). Grace allows for mistakes - often that's how we learn. And when we mess up (whatever the sin may be), know that in Christ, you can come to God's throne of grace with confidence:
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (from Hebrews 4)
Note that it's not when we're NOT in need that we can approach God's throne of grace, but when we're in need (contextually, when we sin), so that we can find mercy and find grace to HELP US in our time of need!
Ashley, God loves you. And those scriptures above don't say that you can only approach God or are forgiven "UNLESS you're divorced and get remarried." There are believers out there who, for a variety of reasons, take a very hard line against those who have divorced. But realize that JESUS and HIS work on the Cross, the Resurrection, His ascension, and His Perfect High Priesthood qualifies you for the Kingdom of God, not your marital history/status.
Here's a link to a christian call-in show that addresses this issue. Click and go to about 27 minutes in for some good, godly perspective: http://cwrmedia.org/app_media/sirius/2016/2016-02-13.mp3
That whole website is a great place for growth in Christ, by the way - I hope you find it to be a helpful resource.
I pray grace and peace over you and your little family, and that you will find a HEALTHY place in which to fellowship and grow. Please let me know (PM me) how it all works out.
Much love in Christ,
-JGIG
Ashley - you are not accountable to Dreamstate - do not feel like you need to answer to him. He has no authority over you and is leading you to a works-based existence instead of LIFE in Christ.
The Christian life is not about commandment-keeping; the Christian life is about bearing the Fruit that Christ produces in you by His Spirit.
Yes, there are many exhortations in the New Covenant - we make choices daily as to how we will live, and we will live with the consequences of those choices (good or bad). Your salvation/position with God does not hinge on your behavior or commandment-keeping. Your salvation/position with God hinges on the Work of Christ and being in Him.
-JGIG
The Christian life is not about commandment-keeping; the Christian life is about bearing the Fruit that Christ produces in you by His Spirit.
Yes, there are many exhortations in the New Covenant - we make choices daily as to how we will live, and we will live with the consequences of those choices (good or bad). Your salvation/position with God does not hinge on your behavior or commandment-keeping. Your salvation/position with God hinges on the Work of Christ and being in Him.
-JGIG
You can only get to heaven by confessing your sins to Jesus and invite the Holy Spirit to live in your heart and guide the path that you are to take. Being saved you shouldn't have any reason to wonder if you'll go to heaven or not. Truthfully, I believe you went off the wrong track by having an affair right after your marriage fell apart. Now, there is also a child involved. My counsel to you is to focus on your spiritual relationship with the Lord and take care of your child. Rushing into another marriage is not in your best interest and that of your child also. I would put your current relationship on hold for awhile, perhaps a few years or permanently. Hopefully, you will carefully consider any wise spiritual counsel that may be offered by the members of this site. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
P
Your first marriage was already over because of adultery. And you understand correctly that remarriage after adultery is not a sin. The adultery in your first marriage makes it so you are not committing adultery by remarrying, as long as the other person is free by reason of adultery to remarry too. Adultery by itself can't forfeit one's salvation anyway. Divorce for reasons other than adultery or abandonment will make life very hard, but you won't lose salvation for it. Only entering into a forbidden marriage because of a determined decision to return to unbelief in an outright rejection and denouncing of Christ can do that. A return to unbelief would be characterized by an 'I don't care' flippant attitude in a life of willful sin. Unbelief is not characterized by a struggle with sin.
You are free to remarry....as long as he's a Christian, as someone pointed out. This is very important.
Ultimately, only you and him can know if it's good for the two of you to be married. Just as long as you understand the life long obligation that marriage is and that divorce is not an option (don't even allow the word in your vocabulary) and you both think you can accept that kind of commitment to each other I personally can't think of any reason why you can not get married. If either of you harbor the thought that the option to bail out is always available to you if you don't get what you want out of the relationship later on then you should not get married.
And do yourself a favor.....get rid of Facebook.
You are free to remarry....as long as he's a Christian, as someone pointed out. This is very important.
Ultimately, only you and him can know if it's good for the two of you to be married. Just as long as you understand the life long obligation that marriage is and that divorce is not an option (don't even allow the word in your vocabulary) and you both think you can accept that kind of commitment to each other I personally can't think of any reason why you can not get married. If either of you harbor the thought that the option to bail out is always available to you if you don't get what you want out of the relationship later on then you should not get married.
And do yourself a favor.....get rid of Facebook.
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Colossians 1:[SUP]20[/SUP]And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.[SUP] 21 [/SUP]And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled[SUP] 22 [/SUP]In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:[SUP]23 [/SUP]If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister;
1 John 1:[SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:[SUP]3 [/SUP]That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.[SUP]5 [/SUP]This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.[SUP] 6 [/SUP]If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:[SUP]7 [/SUP]But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
1 John 3:[SUP]3 [/SUP]And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.
Psalm 33:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy;[SUP] 19 [/SUP]To deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine.[SUP] 20 [/SUP]Our soul waiteth for the Lord: he is our help and our shield.[SUP] 21 [/SUP]For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.[SUP] 22 [/SUP]Let thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.
2 Timothy 4:[SUP]18 [/SUP]And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Jude 1:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,[SUP]25 [/SUP]To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
[video=youtube;mBcqria2wmg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBcqria2wmg[/video]
1 John 1:[SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:[SUP]3 [/SUP]That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.[SUP]5 [/SUP]This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.[SUP] 6 [/SUP]If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:[SUP]7 [/SUP]But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
1 John 3:[SUP]3 [/SUP]And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.
Psalm 33:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy;[SUP] 19 [/SUP]To deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine.[SUP] 20 [/SUP]Our soul waiteth for the Lord: he is our help and our shield.[SUP] 21 [/SUP]For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.[SUP] 22 [/SUP]Let thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.
2 Timothy 4:[SUP]18 [/SUP]And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Jude 1:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,[SUP]25 [/SUP]To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
[video=youtube;mBcqria2wmg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBcqria2wmg[/video]
Hmmm . . . this showed up in my Facebook feed just a few minutes ago . . .
Can Divorced People Remarry?
Posted on January 14, 2015 by Paul Ellis // 194 Comments
Hmm, that’s a tough one. Let me see. Can sinners be forgiven? Can runaways come home? Can crooks get a second chance? Can the broken be made whole?
No, it’s not a tough question. It’s an easy question. Of course divorced people can remarry! These questions are only tough because religion has told us that divorced people are unforgiveable sinners. They’re lepers who blight our perfect little churches. As long as they sit quietly and help with our programs, they are welcome. But the moment they start looking for love, they’ve crossed the line. They had their shot at love and they messed up.
What a graceless thing to say! I cannot imagine anything further from the heart of Christ than telling someone they cannot experience love, that they are bound by the mistakes of their past and they have no future.
The two Pharisees
There are two sour-faced Pharisees stalking the modern church. The first one is called Against Divorce and the second is called Against Remarriage. The first one loves to quote 1 Corinthians 7:27 and the second quotes 1 Corinthians 7:11. Let’s look at each scripture in turn:
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. (1 Cor 7:27a)
This is a healthy exhortation because divorce is destructive. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) because it hurts his kids. Your loving Father doesn’t want to see you go through that pain.
But some have turned this exhortation into a law. “Thou shalt not get divorced!” Since the law inflames sin (Rom 7:5) this message is actually promoting divorce. Thus it hurts the church two ways; by stirring up sin and then condemning the sinner.
If you take these words as law, you must be consistent and preach the whole verse:
Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (1 Cor 7:27b)
If the first part is a law then so is the second. If divorced people are sinning, then so are those who get married. Obviously that is not what the apostle of grace is saying. He’s saying don’t seek a divorce. He’s saying divorce is not something to look for.
The hand grenade of divorce
Divorce is something to avoid, if you can. In our marriage, Camilla and I decided years ago that we would never say the word divorce, not even in jest. (This is not a law for us, just a healthy choice. There are situations – abusive marriages, for instance – where it could be appropriate to use the word.) To say the word divorce during an argument is like pulling out a hand grenade. It escalates matters. Fear of the hand grenade will kill your marriage. How can you be open and honest about your differences when you fear your partner pulling the pin? Paul is saying keep the hand grenade out of your marriage. Don’t seek it. Look for Jesus instead.
But the fact is some people get divorced and sometimes for very legitimate reasons. What about them? Can they remarry? Enter the second Pharisee.
“Remarriage is a sin – the Bible is very clear about this. There can be no possibility of remarriage except to the original spouse.” And then they quote the verse that says a woman must not separate from her husband:
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. (1 Cor 7:11)
Paul is preaching restoration, which is something we all hope for. If that which has been broken can be put back together, then wonderful. But what if it can’t? What if the man is a violent abuser? What if the other partner has remarried and now has 14 kids? What if there is zero chance of remarriage?
“Then it’s game over,” says the Pharisee. “If they marry another, they break the command and sin against God.”
Such a law-based message is at odds with the redemptive prospects of grace. “All things are lawful,” says Paul on two occasions, “But not everything is beneficial.” This isn’t about keeping the rules but whether your choices lead to life or death. It’s not good for anyone to be alone, but some people are not ready to get married. It’s not good to divorce, but some are literally dying in their marriages.
Divorced people are sometimes treated like second-class citizens. The message they hear is, “We will accept you for as long as you follow our rules of conduct.” Those who speak like this are far from the heart of God (see 1 John 4:8).
Religion vs reality
It boggles my mind how we treat some people in the church. A sinner gets saved and we embrace him as a brother. A pastor commits adultery and we work hard to restore him. The chief of sinners becomes an apostle and we go “Isn’t God amazing?” But apparently grace doesn’t extend to divorcees, for they must stay on probation for the rest of their lives.
“There’s a difference, Paul. The pastor and the sinner both repented and were forgiven. But the divorced person who marries another obviously didn’t repent, indeed, they are living in sin, and so they cannot be forgiven.”
So now we’re preaching conditional forgiveness? We’re telling people that Jesus won’t die for their sins unless they repent?! That’s the back to front. That’s the perverted message of DIY religion.
When Jesus went to the cross he carried the sins of the whole world (1 John 2:2). No person and no sin were excluded from his sacrificial work. This is why we preach unconditional forgiveness. The punchline of the gospel is not “repent to be forgiven.” It’s “God loves you – repent and believe the good news!”
God’s love is not affected by your marital status
Whatever sins you have done were carried on the cross long before you did them. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more and nothing you can do to make him love you less. If there is an unforgiveable sin, it is not divorce. (If you’re wondering about what Jesus had to say on the subject of divorce, see my next post.)
So to the married, I say this: do not seek a divorce and don’t treat grace as a license to sin. Only a fool would exchange heavenly treasure (marriage) for earthly junk (illicit intimacy).
And to the divorced, I say this: You are not an unforgiven sinner! God is for marriage and against divorce, but more than that he is for you. God justifies you, so don’t let the Pharisee condemn you (Rom 8:33-34). You are precious to your Father. He loves you and is pleased with you. Your marital status does not affect his great love for you one little bit.
Can you remarry? By the grace of God you can. Should you remarry? That depends. Ask your Father. He knows you better than you know yourself and he will lead you in the path of life. Maybe you will remarry, maybe you won’t. But with God on your side, you cannot lose (Rom 8:28).
That’s my two cents. Now I want to hear from you, especially if you are divorced. Have you experienced grace or ungrace in the church? I don’t want to turn this into a bitter thread, so please adopt a constructive tone. Give us your suggestions for how the church can do a better job of relating to divorced people.
Link to Paul Ellis' article and site: https://escapetoreality.org/2015/01/14/can-divorced-people-remarry/
-JGIG
Can Divorced People Remarry?
Posted on January 14, 2015 by Paul Ellis // 194 Comments
Hmm, that’s a tough one. Let me see. Can sinners be forgiven? Can runaways come home? Can crooks get a second chance? Can the broken be made whole?
No, it’s not a tough question. It’s an easy question. Of course divorced people can remarry! These questions are only tough because religion has told us that divorced people are unforgiveable sinners. They’re lepers who blight our perfect little churches. As long as they sit quietly and help with our programs, they are welcome. But the moment they start looking for love, they’ve crossed the line. They had their shot at love and they messed up.
What a graceless thing to say! I cannot imagine anything further from the heart of Christ than telling someone they cannot experience love, that they are bound by the mistakes of their past and they have no future.
The two Pharisees
There are two sour-faced Pharisees stalking the modern church. The first one is called Against Divorce and the second is called Against Remarriage. The first one loves to quote 1 Corinthians 7:27 and the second quotes 1 Corinthians 7:11. Let’s look at each scripture in turn:
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. (1 Cor 7:27a)
This is a healthy exhortation because divorce is destructive. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) because it hurts his kids. Your loving Father doesn’t want to see you go through that pain.
But some have turned this exhortation into a law. “Thou shalt not get divorced!” Since the law inflames sin (Rom 7:5) this message is actually promoting divorce. Thus it hurts the church two ways; by stirring up sin and then condemning the sinner.
If you take these words as law, you must be consistent and preach the whole verse:
Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (1 Cor 7:27b)
If the first part is a law then so is the second. If divorced people are sinning, then so are those who get married. Obviously that is not what the apostle of grace is saying. He’s saying don’t seek a divorce. He’s saying divorce is not something to look for.
The hand grenade of divorce
Divorce is something to avoid, if you can. In our marriage, Camilla and I decided years ago that we would never say the word divorce, not even in jest. (This is not a law for us, just a healthy choice. There are situations – abusive marriages, for instance – where it could be appropriate to use the word.) To say the word divorce during an argument is like pulling out a hand grenade. It escalates matters. Fear of the hand grenade will kill your marriage. How can you be open and honest about your differences when you fear your partner pulling the pin? Paul is saying keep the hand grenade out of your marriage. Don’t seek it. Look for Jesus instead.
But the fact is some people get divorced and sometimes for very legitimate reasons. What about them? Can they remarry? Enter the second Pharisee.
“Remarriage is a sin – the Bible is very clear about this. There can be no possibility of remarriage except to the original spouse.” And then they quote the verse that says a woman must not separate from her husband:
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. (1 Cor 7:11)
Paul is preaching restoration, which is something we all hope for. If that which has been broken can be put back together, then wonderful. But what if it can’t? What if the man is a violent abuser? What if the other partner has remarried and now has 14 kids? What if there is zero chance of remarriage?
“Then it’s game over,” says the Pharisee. “If they marry another, they break the command and sin against God.”
Such a law-based message is at odds with the redemptive prospects of grace. “All things are lawful,” says Paul on two occasions, “But not everything is beneficial.” This isn’t about keeping the rules but whether your choices lead to life or death. It’s not good for anyone to be alone, but some people are not ready to get married. It’s not good to divorce, but some are literally dying in their marriages.
Divorced people are sometimes treated like second-class citizens. The message they hear is, “We will accept you for as long as you follow our rules of conduct.” Those who speak like this are far from the heart of God (see 1 John 4:8).
Religion vs reality
It boggles my mind how we treat some people in the church. A sinner gets saved and we embrace him as a brother. A pastor commits adultery and we work hard to restore him. The chief of sinners becomes an apostle and we go “Isn’t God amazing?” But apparently grace doesn’t extend to divorcees, for they must stay on probation for the rest of their lives.
“There’s a difference, Paul. The pastor and the sinner both repented and were forgiven. But the divorced person who marries another obviously didn’t repent, indeed, they are living in sin, and so they cannot be forgiven.”
So now we’re preaching conditional forgiveness? We’re telling people that Jesus won’t die for their sins unless they repent?! That’s the back to front. That’s the perverted message of DIY religion.
When Jesus went to the cross he carried the sins of the whole world (1 John 2:2). No person and no sin were excluded from his sacrificial work. This is why we preach unconditional forgiveness. The punchline of the gospel is not “repent to be forgiven.” It’s “God loves you – repent and believe the good news!”
God’s love is not affected by your marital status
Whatever sins you have done were carried on the cross long before you did them. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more and nothing you can do to make him love you less. If there is an unforgiveable sin, it is not divorce. (If you’re wondering about what Jesus had to say on the subject of divorce, see my next post.)
So to the married, I say this: do not seek a divorce and don’t treat grace as a license to sin. Only a fool would exchange heavenly treasure (marriage) for earthly junk (illicit intimacy).
And to the divorced, I say this: You are not an unforgiven sinner! God is for marriage and against divorce, but more than that he is for you. God justifies you, so don’t let the Pharisee condemn you (Rom 8:33-34). You are precious to your Father. He loves you and is pleased with you. Your marital status does not affect his great love for you one little bit.
Can you remarry? By the grace of God you can. Should you remarry? That depends. Ask your Father. He knows you better than you know yourself and he will lead you in the path of life. Maybe you will remarry, maybe you won’t. But with God on your side, you cannot lose (Rom 8:28).
That’s my two cents. Now I want to hear from you, especially if you are divorced. Have you experienced grace or ungrace in the church? I don’t want to turn this into a bitter thread, so please adopt a constructive tone. Give us your suggestions for how the church can do a better job of relating to divorced people.
Link to Paul Ellis' article and site: https://escapetoreality.org/2015/01/14/can-divorced-people-remarry/
-JGIG
***I don't think the question is "can" I marry this man, but rather "should" I marry this man***If you both get into a good Church and receive guidance from your pastor this will help you know the way***if you are going it on your own you will probably fail in this marriage***take the time to sort this out Spiritually, before you get entangled***Grace and Peace...
There is only one unforgivable sin (Mark 3:28-29), and adultery/fornication is not it. Your not banned from heaven for screwing-up. Once you repent and ask forgiveness, your indiscretions are washed away. If this were not true, we would all roast in hell. So don't let some Facebook opinion discourage you.
That is correct. By having a repenting heart that relies on Jesus Christ as your Good Shepherd in helping you to lay aside every weight & sin in following Him is the way to go.
For the scripture that may be troubling you;
Matthew 5:[SUP]31 [/SUP]It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:[SUP] 32 [/SUP]But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
This is about how most christian couples get a divorce over; and it isn't about the spouse having sex before marriage nor having committed adultery.
As you pointed out, both you & your husband had committed adultery and so the first marriage is no longer binding in the eyes of God.
Granted, if both spouses wanted to repent of their sins and come back together again because of wanting to be right with God, they are free to lean on Him to forgive each other as Jesus can forgive them and help them in their marriage with Him being first in each of their lives; they can stay in their marriage.
If only one had committed adultery, then it is up to the spouse if forgiving the other is warranted to continue the marriage, but if they do not lean on Him to get to the root cause of his or her straying and deal with it, then the forgiven spouse has to set up rules to follow by in order to prevent any temptations to do that again with the spouse's and the Lord's help.
If however the offended spouse wants the divorce, then the other spouse will have to go to Jesus for that forgiveness, and to learn from that sin to not allow to happen again by trusting Jesus Christ as his or her Good Shepherd to help that person to follow Him.
But having gotten a divorce and the other had remarried, and you being currently engaged, that option of getting back together is out.
However, unless I misunderstood you, you are living with your fiancee, and unless I missed a post, I hope you are leaning on the Lord to abstain from fornication, and for the sake of the daughter, probably should be sleeping separately to avoid the appearance of evil in the eyes of the daughter and especially in the eyes of the Lord, since He is in you & with you always.
1 Corinthians 6:[SUP]17 [/SUP]But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.[SUP] 18 [/SUP]Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?[SUP] 20 [/SUP]For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.[SUP]2 [/SUP]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
If you find that it is hard to abstain from fornication until you are married at a certain date, you should consider eloping, and then do the "public" marriage at whatever date you two had set. Since you had shared that you had no one to fall back on, then see if his family would agree to joining an elopement and forget the set date for the wedding.
Now some may heckle you over some of these verses in 1 Corinthians 7th chapter, but do note that is addressing christian couples that are still married but separated for some other reasons and not about one or both having committed adultery. Such christian couples should lean on the Lord for help to follow the commandment of the Lord in that chapter.
There is even a section in that chapter when it comes to having been married to an unbelieving spouse.
But none of that applies to your situation. Indeed, this verse comes to mind for the mess you are in.
Luke 23:[SUP]34 [/SUP]Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do....
Since you know Jesus can forgive you & cleanse you from all unrighteousness... here is a verse for the mess you are in.
Matthew 18:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.[SUP]20 [/SUP]For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
That reference is for moving on in that relationship with the Lord; it is not for using as an excuse for sinning by getting a divorce for some matter other than adultery when it is a commandment from the Lord in 1 Corinthians 7th chapter for christian couples not to get a divorce for any other reason than adultery.
The important thing is to recognize your sins and confess them as sins. Do not allow the world or carnal teachings that try to convince you that it doesn't matter nor that you are free to tell people that it is okay to get a divorce for something other than one spouse having committed adultery.
It is like this. if a christian killed someone by being a drunk driver, and he confesses his sins and begs for forgiveness and gets it in the court of law, and walks free, but yet goes around telling people who drink that worry about getting drunk and driving home that it is okay to do that because God will forgive them..... that is not having a repenting heart. See?
God did not give us a license to sin. Since you are to learn from your mistakes in repenting, then you are to help people not to do your mistakes too. ( Not that you have to go out of your way, but when opportunity comes about as the Lord leads you, that would be the time to share what the Lord says on the matter and that they can go to Him for help in their marriage. You may share your mistakes with your daughter when she is of age to understand the temptations that she will need the Lord's help in avoiding fornication )
But do know that since you were saved, you did not understand the other promise from God in how after having been reconciled to God through Jesus Christ by believing in Him as your Saviour, you are to believe in Him as your Good Shepherd too, because we cannot follow Him unless we are depending on Him all the time for help as our Good Shepherd in understanding His words in the King James Version and to trust Him to work His work in us to be good & to do good until it is time to leave this life when the Bridegroom comes at the pre trib rapture event or death should come when least expected.
I ask the Father to forgive you for what you had done for you knew not what you were doing. And for the mess you are in, I ask Him to set you free from all bondages so that you are free to be marry again.
I ask you and your fiancee not to make promises at your next wedding since marriage is God's covenant joining you two together as one and all you need to say is that you are agreeing to the union by saying "I do."
But do expect that when the pre trib rapture comes, as the Bridegroom shall bring you Home spotless by His blood on the cross and through the body of His death, you will become as if you were never married.
1 Corinthians 7:[SUP]29 [/SUP]But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;[SUP] 30 [/SUP]And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;[SUP]31 [/SUP]And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
Luke 20:[SUP]34 [/SUP]And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:[SUP] 35 [/SUP]But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:[SUP]36 [/SUP]Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.
So be sure to ask Jesus Christ for help in loving Him more than your fiancee and even your daughter to trust their lives in His hands " if " they should be left behind.
Luke 14:[SUP]15 [/SUP]And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God.[SUP] 16 [/SUP]Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many:[SUP] 17 [/SUP]And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready. [SUP]18 [/SUP]And they all with one consent began to make excuse. .........[SUP]20 [/SUP]And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. [SUP]21 [/SUP]So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. ...........[SUP]24 [/SUP]For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.
So the cares of this life can be a snare that can tempt someone to love their lives more on earth than to leave it for the one above. That is what it means about the cost of discipleship in following Him; to be ready to go when the Bridegroom comes.
Luke 14:[SUP]26 [/SUP]If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.[SUP] 27 [/SUP]And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
Luke 21:[SUP]33 [/SUP]Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.[SUP] 34 [/SUP]And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.[SUP] 35 [/SUP]For as a snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.[SUP]36 [/SUP]Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.
No believer can lose their salvation; but running that race by looking to the author & finisher of our faith to help us lay aside every weight & sin as we lean on Him all the time for help in following Him is how we abide in Him in fellowship as a vessel unto honor to be received by Him to the Marriage Supper at the pre trib rapture event.
Hebrews 12:1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,[SUP] 2 [/SUP]Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Those saved believers and even former believers found not abiding in Him, that did not look to Him as their Good Shepherd to help them lay aside every weight & sin, are at risk of becoming castaways; to be left behind at the pre trib rapture event to be received later on after the great tribulation as vessels unto dishonor in His House. So the risk of not following Him is more than losing the rewards of crowns, but there is a risk of being left behind at the pre trib rapture event when God will judge His House first in the form of excommunication which is done for the purpose of leading them to repentance, but we can trust Jesus Christ in doing a good job in keeping their souls while they suffer the fire coming on the earth and the subsequent great tribulation as a result.
1 Peter 4:[SUP]17 [/SUP]For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?[SUP] 18 [/SUP]And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.
1 Corinthians 5:[SUP]4 [/SUP]In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,[SUP]5 [/SUP]To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
1 Corinthians 9:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.[SUP] 25 [/SUP]And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.[SUP]26 [/SUP]I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air:[SUP]27 [/SUP]But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
But the door to the Marriage Supper is still open and every believer and even former believer that still have His seal are called to go before that throne of grace for help to discern the lies and the iniquity so they can call on Him to depart from them and enjoy the fellowship with the Father & the Son again in walking in the light until the Bridegroom comes.
2 Timothy 2:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Who concerning the truth have erred, saying that the resurrection is past already; and overthrow the faith of some.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.[SUP]20 [/SUP]But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.[SUP]21 [/SUP]If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
Sorry for oversharing, but you wanted to know whether a saved believer can lose their salvation; answer; you cannot.
John 6:[SUP]39 [/SUP]And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.[SUP] 40 [/SUP]And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.
But which last day will the saved believer be raised up in? As a vessel unto honor at the pre trib rapture event to attend the Marriage Supper in Heaven or as a vessel unto dishonor in His House at the end of the great tribulation on earth?
I shall pray for you that my Friend will lead you in the way you ought to go and to help you be ready to go when He comes. I do pray for myself in the same way as I need Him all the time for help in following Him & keep me ready to go.
For the scripture that may be troubling you;
Matthew 5:[SUP]31 [/SUP]It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:[SUP] 32 [/SUP]But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
This is about how most christian couples get a divorce over; and it isn't about the spouse having sex before marriage nor having committed adultery.
As you pointed out, both you & your husband had committed adultery and so the first marriage is no longer binding in the eyes of God.
Granted, if both spouses wanted to repent of their sins and come back together again because of wanting to be right with God, they are free to lean on Him to forgive each other as Jesus can forgive them and help them in their marriage with Him being first in each of their lives; they can stay in their marriage.
If only one had committed adultery, then it is up to the spouse if forgiving the other is warranted to continue the marriage, but if they do not lean on Him to get to the root cause of his or her straying and deal with it, then the forgiven spouse has to set up rules to follow by in order to prevent any temptations to do that again with the spouse's and the Lord's help.
If however the offended spouse wants the divorce, then the other spouse will have to go to Jesus for that forgiveness, and to learn from that sin to not allow to happen again by trusting Jesus Christ as his or her Good Shepherd to help that person to follow Him.
But having gotten a divorce and the other had remarried, and you being currently engaged, that option of getting back together is out.
However, unless I misunderstood you, you are living with your fiancee, and unless I missed a post, I hope you are leaning on the Lord to abstain from fornication, and for the sake of the daughter, probably should be sleeping separately to avoid the appearance of evil in the eyes of the daughter and especially in the eyes of the Lord, since He is in you & with you always.
1 Corinthians 6:[SUP]17 [/SUP]But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.[SUP] 18 [/SUP]Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?[SUP] 20 [/SUP]For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.[SUP]2 [/SUP]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
If you find that it is hard to abstain from fornication until you are married at a certain date, you should consider eloping, and then do the "public" marriage at whatever date you two had set. Since you had shared that you had no one to fall back on, then see if his family would agree to joining an elopement and forget the set date for the wedding.
Now some may heckle you over some of these verses in 1 Corinthians 7th chapter, but do note that is addressing christian couples that are still married but separated for some other reasons and not about one or both having committed adultery. Such christian couples should lean on the Lord for help to follow the commandment of the Lord in that chapter.
There is even a section in that chapter when it comes to having been married to an unbelieving spouse.
But none of that applies to your situation. Indeed, this verse comes to mind for the mess you are in.
Luke 23:[SUP]34 [/SUP]Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do....
Since you know Jesus can forgive you & cleanse you from all unrighteousness... here is a verse for the mess you are in.
Matthew 18:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.[SUP]20 [/SUP]For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
That reference is for moving on in that relationship with the Lord; it is not for using as an excuse for sinning by getting a divorce for some matter other than adultery when it is a commandment from the Lord in 1 Corinthians 7th chapter for christian couples not to get a divorce for any other reason than adultery.
The important thing is to recognize your sins and confess them as sins. Do not allow the world or carnal teachings that try to convince you that it doesn't matter nor that you are free to tell people that it is okay to get a divorce for something other than one spouse having committed adultery.
It is like this. if a christian killed someone by being a drunk driver, and he confesses his sins and begs for forgiveness and gets it in the court of law, and walks free, but yet goes around telling people who drink that worry about getting drunk and driving home that it is okay to do that because God will forgive them..... that is not having a repenting heart. See?
God did not give us a license to sin. Since you are to learn from your mistakes in repenting, then you are to help people not to do your mistakes too. ( Not that you have to go out of your way, but when opportunity comes about as the Lord leads you, that would be the time to share what the Lord says on the matter and that they can go to Him for help in their marriage. You may share your mistakes with your daughter when she is of age to understand the temptations that she will need the Lord's help in avoiding fornication )
But do know that since you were saved, you did not understand the other promise from God in how after having been reconciled to God through Jesus Christ by believing in Him as your Saviour, you are to believe in Him as your Good Shepherd too, because we cannot follow Him unless we are depending on Him all the time for help as our Good Shepherd in understanding His words in the King James Version and to trust Him to work His work in us to be good & to do good until it is time to leave this life when the Bridegroom comes at the pre trib rapture event or death should come when least expected.
I ask the Father to forgive you for what you had done for you knew not what you were doing. And for the mess you are in, I ask Him to set you free from all bondages so that you are free to be marry again.
I ask you and your fiancee not to make promises at your next wedding since marriage is God's covenant joining you two together as one and all you need to say is that you are agreeing to the union by saying "I do."
But do expect that when the pre trib rapture comes, as the Bridegroom shall bring you Home spotless by His blood on the cross and through the body of His death, you will become as if you were never married.
1 Corinthians 7:[SUP]29 [/SUP]But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;[SUP] 30 [/SUP]And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;[SUP]31 [/SUP]And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
Luke 20:[SUP]34 [/SUP]And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:[SUP] 35 [/SUP]But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:[SUP]36 [/SUP]Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.
So be sure to ask Jesus Christ for help in loving Him more than your fiancee and even your daughter to trust their lives in His hands " if " they should be left behind.
Luke 14:[SUP]15 [/SUP]And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God.[SUP] 16 [/SUP]Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many:[SUP] 17 [/SUP]And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready. [SUP]18 [/SUP]And they all with one consent began to make excuse. .........[SUP]20 [/SUP]And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. [SUP]21 [/SUP]So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. ...........[SUP]24 [/SUP]For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.
So the cares of this life can be a snare that can tempt someone to love their lives more on earth than to leave it for the one above. That is what it means about the cost of discipleship in following Him; to be ready to go when the Bridegroom comes.
Luke 14:[SUP]26 [/SUP]If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.[SUP] 27 [/SUP]And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
Luke 21:[SUP]33 [/SUP]Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.[SUP] 34 [/SUP]And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.[SUP] 35 [/SUP]For as a snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.[SUP]36 [/SUP]Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.
No believer can lose their salvation; but running that race by looking to the author & finisher of our faith to help us lay aside every weight & sin as we lean on Him all the time for help in following Him is how we abide in Him in fellowship as a vessel unto honor to be received by Him to the Marriage Supper at the pre trib rapture event.
Hebrews 12:1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,[SUP] 2 [/SUP]Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Those saved believers and even former believers found not abiding in Him, that did not look to Him as their Good Shepherd to help them lay aside every weight & sin, are at risk of becoming castaways; to be left behind at the pre trib rapture event to be received later on after the great tribulation as vessels unto dishonor in His House. So the risk of not following Him is more than losing the rewards of crowns, but there is a risk of being left behind at the pre trib rapture event when God will judge His House first in the form of excommunication which is done for the purpose of leading them to repentance, but we can trust Jesus Christ in doing a good job in keeping their souls while they suffer the fire coming on the earth and the subsequent great tribulation as a result.
1 Peter 4:[SUP]17 [/SUP]For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?[SUP] 18 [/SUP]And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.
1 Corinthians 5:[SUP]4 [/SUP]In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,[SUP]5 [/SUP]To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
1 Corinthians 9:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.[SUP] 25 [/SUP]And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.[SUP]26 [/SUP]I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air:[SUP]27 [/SUP]But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
But the door to the Marriage Supper is still open and every believer and even former believer that still have His seal are called to go before that throne of grace for help to discern the lies and the iniquity so they can call on Him to depart from them and enjoy the fellowship with the Father & the Son again in walking in the light until the Bridegroom comes.
2 Timothy 2:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Who concerning the truth have erred, saying that the resurrection is past already; and overthrow the faith of some.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.[SUP]20 [/SUP]But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.[SUP]21 [/SUP]If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
Sorry for oversharing, but you wanted to know whether a saved believer can lose their salvation; answer; you cannot.
John 6:[SUP]39 [/SUP]And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.[SUP] 40 [/SUP]And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.
But which last day will the saved believer be raised up in? As a vessel unto honor at the pre trib rapture event to attend the Marriage Supper in Heaven or as a vessel unto dishonor in His House at the end of the great tribulation on earth?
I shall pray for you that my Friend will lead you in the way you ought to go and to help you be ready to go when He comes. I do pray for myself in the same way as I need Him all the time for help in following Him & keep me ready to go.
Ashley, it's nice to meet you!
What you are experiencing is called spiritual warfare.
You are forgiven the moment you repent and turn back to God. The world, your own flesh and the devil will try to get you to doubt that you truly are forgiven.
Don't let other men take your freedom and forgiveness from you. If God has forgiven and does not hold your sin against you, don't let other men condemn you for any past sins. They are trying to condemn you for something that GOD doesn't condemn you of.
It's spiritual warfare - when another, your own self or satan tries to condemn you still after you have repented and turned to God. He removes your sin from you as far as the east is from the west and remembers your sin no more. (You can look those verses up online
). So don't allow any man to take away your freedom and joy for the reason of any past sins. What God has called clean let no man call unclean.
What you are experiencing is called spiritual warfare.
You are forgiven the moment you repent and turn back to God. The world, your own flesh and the devil will try to get you to doubt that you truly are forgiven.
Don't let other men take your freedom and forgiveness from you. If God has forgiven and does not hold your sin against you, don't let other men condemn you for any past sins. They are trying to condemn you for something that GOD doesn't condemn you of.
It's spiritual warfare - when another, your own self or satan tries to condemn you still after you have repented and turned to God. He removes your sin from you as far as the east is from the west and remembers your sin no more. (You can look those verses up online
). So don't allow any man to take away your freedom and joy for the reason of any past sins. What God has called clean let no man call unclean.
G
If you will listen to the Holy Spirit, He will gently guide you...
And, I dare say at this point that -- as long as you know you are born-again in Christ -- you can relax, darlin' - and, allow your fear of ending up in hell to subside completely and entirely.
Before I get into this discussion, I would like to point out that any "legal" component of the issue of your situation will be concerned with 'divorce', not 'infidelity'. Infidelity can be forgiven within marriage without separation and / or divorce. There is no judgment against infidelity in the context of the 'remarriage' part of your concerns. Only 'divorce' has a part in that -- from the point-of-view of scripture. Lord willing, I will try to address this in a future post. In this post, I will address the "greater" issue that troubles you.
With regard to your question about inheriting-the-kingdom versus going-to-hell, in consideration of having committed adultery - you need not allow the facebook article to strike fear in you - as I hope you will see shortly...
I will attempt to explain why I believe the facebook article is in error. ( not having read it, no less )
I am assuming that the article to which you refer bases its discussion around 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
To understand the scope of these verses, you must consider the broader passage of chapters 5-7.
In this discussion, I will mostly focus on chapter 6.
1 Corinthians 6:
[SUP]1[/SUP] Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? [SUP]2[/SUP] Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? [SUP]3[/SUP] Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? [SUP]4[/SUP] If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. [SUP]5[/SUP] I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? [SUP]6[/SUP] But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. [SUP]7[/SUP] Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? [SUP]8[/SUP] Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. [SUP]9[/SUP] Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, [SUP]10[/SUP] Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. [SUP]11[/SUP] And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. [SUP]12[/SUP] All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. [SUP]13[/SUP] Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. [SUP]14[/SUP] And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. [SUP]15[/SUP] Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. [SUP]16[/SUP] What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. [SUP]17[/SUP] But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. [SUP]18[/SUP] Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [SUP]19[/SUP] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [SUP]20[/SUP] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
In the context of chastisement of the members of the Corinthian church for even considering taking issues between members outside of the church, Paul makes a broad reference to the unbelievers ( verse 6 ) outside the church in verse 9. The 'unrighteous' in verse 9 are the unrepentant lost souls in the world. The list that follows is referring to them. It is not saying that "if you do any of these things even once in your life, you are going to hell and will not inherit the kingdom of God"; rather - in the context of the passage - it is talking about unrepentant souls who continue in the practice of those things listed without conscience.
Albeit only due to the work of Christ, all who are born-again are considered by God to be 'righteous'. The 'unrighteous' - "all the rest" - does not include the born-again - who are saved by grace unto righteousness.
This idea is reinforced in verses 11-12 by the indication that some were ( but, are no longer ) some of those things in the list before they were washed / sanctified / justified.
So -- can that list illustrate for us the things we ought not be? Sure. However, in the context of the passage - in the 'technicality' of the meaning - those things listed are not referring to born-again believers; rather, they are referring to unrepentant non-believers.
Therefore, no matter what you do concerning remarriage, you need not worry about ending up in hell. Rest easy. And, believe and trust in Almighty God and the Lord Jesus Christ:
1 John 5:
[SUP]13[/SUP] These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
And, I dare say at this point that -- as long as you know you are born-again in Christ -- you can relax, darlin' - and, allow your fear of ending up in hell to subside completely and entirely.
Before I get into this discussion, I would like to point out that any "legal" component of the issue of your situation will be concerned with 'divorce', not 'infidelity'. Infidelity can be forgiven within marriage without separation and / or divorce. There is no judgment against infidelity in the context of the 'remarriage' part of your concerns. Only 'divorce' has a part in that -- from the point-of-view of scripture. Lord willing, I will try to address this in a future post. In this post, I will address the "greater" issue that troubles you.
With regard to your question about inheriting-the-kingdom versus going-to-hell, in consideration of having committed adultery - you need not allow the facebook article to strike fear in you - as I hope you will see shortly...
I will attempt to explain why I believe the facebook article is in error. ( not having read it, no less
)I am assuming that the article to which you refer bases its discussion around 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
To understand the scope of these verses, you must consider the broader passage of chapters 5-7.
In this discussion, I will mostly focus on chapter 6.
1 Corinthians 6:
[SUP]1[/SUP] Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? [SUP]2[/SUP] Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? [SUP]3[/SUP] Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? [SUP]4[/SUP] If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. [SUP]5[/SUP] I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? [SUP]6[/SUP] But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. [SUP]7[/SUP] Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? [SUP]8[/SUP] Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. [SUP]9[/SUP] Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, [SUP]10[/SUP] Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. [SUP]11[/SUP] And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. [SUP]12[/SUP] All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. [SUP]13[/SUP] Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. [SUP]14[/SUP] And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. [SUP]15[/SUP] Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. [SUP]16[/SUP] What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. [SUP]17[/SUP] But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. [SUP]18[/SUP] Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [SUP]19[/SUP] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [SUP]20[/SUP] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
In the context of chastisement of the members of the Corinthian church for even considering taking issues between members outside of the church, Paul makes a broad reference to the unbelievers ( verse 6 ) outside the church in verse 9. The 'unrighteous' in verse 9 are the unrepentant lost souls in the world. The list that follows is referring to them. It is not saying that "if you do any of these things even once in your life, you are going to hell and will not inherit the kingdom of God"; rather - in the context of the passage - it is talking about unrepentant souls who continue in the practice of those things listed without conscience.
Albeit only due to the work of Christ, all who are born-again are considered by God to be 'righteous'. The 'unrighteous' - "all the rest" - does not include the born-again - who are saved by grace unto righteousness.
This idea is reinforced in verses 11-12 by the indication that some were ( but, are no longer ) some of those things in the list before they were washed / sanctified / justified.
So -- can that list illustrate for us the things we ought not be? Sure. However, in the context of the passage - in the 'technicality' of the meaning - those things listed are not referring to born-again believers; rather, they are referring to unrepentant non-believers.
Therefore, no matter what you do concerning remarriage, you need not worry about ending up in hell. Rest easy. And, believe and trust in Almighty God and the Lord Jesus Christ:
1 John 5:
[SUP]13[/SUP] These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
G
That is not true. Nothing "unbinds" a marriage "in God's eyes" except divorce or death.
God desires for adultery to be forgiven if-at-all-possible within the marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:
[SUP]10[/SUP] And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: [SUP]11[/SUP] But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
God desires for adultery to be forgiven if-at-all-possible within the marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:
[SUP]10[/SUP] And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: [SUP]11[/SUP] But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Since you were not grounded in scripture in how to live by faith In Him for help in following Him by abiding in His words in the KJV, I am sure Jesus had prayed this prayer for you when you were sinning, even though fellowship was broken still.
Luke 23:[SUP]34 [/SUP]Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
But when you do acknowledge your sin and confess them to Him, your fellowship with the Father & the Son is restored, even though God has never left you since He abides in you still.
Ephesians 4:[SUP]30 [/SUP]And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
1 John 1:[SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Hebrews 4:[SUP]12 [/SUP]For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.[SUP]13 [/SUP]Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.[SUP]14 [/SUP]Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.[SUP] 15 [/SUP]For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.[SUP]16 [/SUP]Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
I believe this verse below applies to your first marriage since you both had committed adultery so you can feel free to move on to marry another, but this time, in seeking His help in maintaining a right relationship & fellowship with Him by walking in the light as He has done.
Matthew 18:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Philippians 1:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:....[SUP]11 [/SUP]Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.
So do not worry about losing salvation; it cannot happen, but trust in Jesus Christ as your Good Shepherd for help in abiding in Him in maintaining that fellowship by walking in the light with Him through this valley of death.
John 6:[SUP]39 [/SUP]And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.[SUP] 40 [/SUP]And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.
1 John 1:[SUP]3 [/SUP]That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.[SUP]5 [/SUP]This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.[SUP]6 [/SUP]If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:[SUP]7 [/SUP]But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Romans 8:[SUP]30 [/SUP]Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.[SUP] 31 [/SUP]What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?[SUP] 32 [/SUP]He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?[SUP] 33 [/SUP]Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.[SUP] 34 [/SUP]Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.[SUP] 35 [/SUP]Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? [SUP]36 [/SUP]As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. [SUP]38 [/SUP]For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, [SUP]39 [/SUP]Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Luke 23:[SUP]34 [/SUP]Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
But when you do acknowledge your sin and confess them to Him, your fellowship with the Father & the Son is restored, even though God has never left you since He abides in you still.
Ephesians 4:[SUP]30 [/SUP]And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
1 John 1:[SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Hebrews 4:[SUP]12 [/SUP]For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.[SUP]13 [/SUP]Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.[SUP]14 [/SUP]Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.[SUP] 15 [/SUP]For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.[SUP]16 [/SUP]Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
I believe this verse below applies to your first marriage since you both had committed adultery so you can feel free to move on to marry another, but this time, in seeking His help in maintaining a right relationship & fellowship with Him by walking in the light as He has done.
Matthew 18:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Philippians 1:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:....[SUP]11 [/SUP]Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.
So do not worry about losing salvation; it cannot happen, but trust in Jesus Christ as your Good Shepherd for help in abiding in Him in maintaining that fellowship by walking in the light with Him through this valley of death.
John 6:[SUP]39 [/SUP]And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.[SUP] 40 [/SUP]And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.
1 John 1:[SUP]3 [/SUP]That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.[SUP]5 [/SUP]This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.[SUP]6 [/SUP]If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:[SUP]7 [/SUP]But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Romans 8:[SUP]30 [/SUP]Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.[SUP] 31 [/SUP]What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?[SUP] 32 [/SUP]He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?[SUP] 33 [/SUP]Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.[SUP] 34 [/SUP]Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.[SUP] 35 [/SUP]Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? [SUP]36 [/SUP]As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. [SUP]38 [/SUP]For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, [SUP]39 [/SUP]Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
It is better to err on the side of mercy than judgment. This includes yourself. Grant yourself mercy regarding your past sins. Don't judge and punish yourself because you screwed up.
I don't know God's will for you in this. But there's no harm in waiting until you are sure of God's will in the matter.
Asking for guidance is always a good idea. Unfortunately, it is difficult to know what to do when you get conflicting answers.
Personally, I am in favor of you marrying the guy, but I have no idea what God's will is in the matter. I suggest you don't make a decision until you are sure of God's will for you in this.
I don't know God's will for you in this. But there's no harm in waiting until you are sure of God's will in the matter.
Asking for guidance is always a good idea. Unfortunately, it is difficult to know what to do when you get conflicting answers.
Personally, I am in favor of you marrying the guy, but I have no idea what God's will is in the matter. I suggest you don't make a decision until you are sure of God's will for you in this.