I am truly sorry that this happened to you seoul. This is terrible... and is wrong on every level of him. This was not your fault. You shouldn't have blamed yourself, and your parents were wrong on all levels to have blamed you as well. Being a devout christian also means to love and support, not to judge. My previous posts were a lot out of anger for the evil women I've seen, but that isn't to say that men can't be just as evil. You definitely didn't deserve this, and I am truly sorry you had to go through this in your life. I hope you do find the right guy one day in your life that will truly show you how you should be treated as a women, with love and respect. Your ex husband definitely didn't do that, and he deserves whatever punishment God gives him for such a thing.
He initiated the divorce. This wasn't your fault, and so I truly cannot believe you would be an adulterer to remarry. All you need to do is pray, and I'm sure you will get the right answer. If you want my own opinion based on biblical truths, I would say you are completely free and clear to remarry and God WILL place someone in your life that will heal all the old scars and they will treat and love you exactly the way you deserve to be loved. I'll pray for you, and I apologize if my previous posts made you feel less than warrented to remarry or anything like that. My posts were more geared toward people like your husband who were completely in the wrong and who deserve to be alone in their lives. You, on the other hand, deserve someone who will truly love and cherish you for the amazing person you really are
Hey, DaBears
,
I just wanted to say thank you for your kind words. Funny you should mention that my ex might be punished by God... actually... someone found me on Facebook last summer and it was heartbreak all over again. My ex-husband had yelled at me that marriage was hell and he'd never do it again. I very much wanted a family with him but he didn't even want to talk about it.
I found out my ex is living in his dream location, has his dream job, remarried, and has at least one baby. I felt as if my heart had been torn out all over again.
So, it's come to be a complete circle, which is including forgiveness but struggling with a sense of anger--"God, is THIS what you do with people who hurt us so badly? You REWARD them?" I'm still wrestling with that, so I can COMPLETELY understand your anger at how some of your friends and co-workers were treated by their spouses. I also know that I am NOT perfect by any means and made plenty of my own mistakes as well.
I am still wondering if Speeder asked this because he has been attracted to someone who is divorced, or knows someone who is contemplating such a situation.
I think that if God has convicted you to avoid marrying someone who has been divorced, then of course, you should go with what He has for your life.
I just become very sad when I see divorced people all labeled as evil adulterers. As I said, if my friend had not found out and let me know, I would not have even known my husband had someone else.
I've heard some people say, "Well, my mother went through hell and when my father divorced her, she never got remarried... if she can survive it, you can too," or, "I realize you're trying to justify your sins with your emotions, but you're still an adulterer who cannot remarry."
As I wrote in my first post, Jesus said adultery is committed in the heart, with lust and thoughts. By that definition, who of us is 100% free of adultery?
Yes, I know we need to obey the law with all of our might. But it's interesting to me that Jesus' harshest words were not for the tax collectors, prostitutes, and sinners--His most biting words were for the religious leaders of the day. He called them "vipers" and said they did nothing to help the people carry their burdens. And these were the people who claimed to know God best--they were EXPERTS at making sure people obeyed the laws.
I personally wonder if Jesus purposely looked around on Sabbaths for someone to heal, just to get their goat. Working on the Sabbath day was against the law, but Jesus did it anyway, saying the needs of the people were served by the law, not that people's needs were to be completely sacrificed to the law. I know it's a tough call in some cases--but if the answer is always carried in the strictest interpretations of the law, why did God even bother sending Jesus at all?
If we enforce the law ruthlessly without any hint of mercy or grace, what will God say to us when we get to heaven? "Well done, my good and faithful servants..."
Or, "You brood of vipers... you whitewashed graves... you hypocrites..." Will God be more angry that we couldn't get people to follow the laws perfectly, or that we couldn't remember the people whom the laws were written to serve?
Just a few thoughts. And I throw myself into the group as well--I'm certainly not an exemption.