I am so sorry for what has happened. I cannot imagine your pain.
Deal breaker, besides other then not being a Christian.
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I am so sorry for what has happened. I cannot imagine your pain.
The Lord has brought me through so much in this life already...
When it comes to serious relationships...they become valuable for many reasons. I've not been perfect in any relationship, so why expect perfection from anyone else. If a relationship is truly valuable, you find a way to work through the problems together, forgive, and keep moving forward.
When it comes to serious relationships...they become valuable for many reasons. I've not been perfect in any relationship, so why expect perfection from anyone else. If a relationship is truly valuable, you find a way to work through the problems together, forgive, and keep moving forward.
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NoNameMcgee
Guest
im sorry for mentioning it
i wouldnt even bring up that kinda thing normally
not sure why anti gun is on the list...
i was really tired last night and just typing without thinkin much...
all feelings
I don't think there should be deal breakers, obviously everyone has things they find more attractive and desirable. But people can change. A lot of people are saying a deal breaker is smoking....It is possible for a person to give up and become a non smoker!!!! We are all works in progress and everyone is equally as important and special to God...Every human is unique, lovable and able to change. Jesus had as his best friends people who were outcasts - a demon possessed prostitute, other evil doers- but they were transformed by love and God's power to overcome evil. It is possible. I have thought for a long time, my ex boyfriend was a self harmer and there is no way I'll pick someone else with that issue. But then I've come to think, maybe the experience has taught me how I can be more understanding and if it is God's will then I shouldn't reject someone who is like me, a work in progress with issues.
What you say about change and redemption are true. The problem is that sin has consequences in this life, that God's forgiveness does not simply erase in every case, though it does happen sometimes. Ex-smokers are still at a much higher risk for certain diseases, for example. A former drug addict may still have cravings and addictive behavior.
I agree that God can redeem someone, but marrying someone is much different than having them in your small group. If someone wouldn't consider marrying a particular person, or any person with a particular characteristic, what is that to anyone else? It's between them and God.
Please don't apologize. It is part of your story and your feelings and your reactions are valid. Please know that my question about the gun thing wasn't a challenge or meaning to be rude in any way. It is just so different up here so I honestly didn't know and wanted to understand. Thank you for sharing. I think in the Christian community we have this idea that if you have real faith you have no real problems or real feelings. It just isn't true. Life is messy and we are messy and there is stuff that doesn't just heal nicely. Sometimes we end up with jagged scars. That is real. I don't want to pester you and I respect your privacy I just want to thank you for what you shared.
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toinena
Guest
I am not sure I am in the right position to have a list of deal breakers. And I know I am a big deal breaker to most.
Although I am not seeing anyone, I can't imagine anyone being remotely interested in seeing me either, I think it is better to keep certain standards and rather be alone. I have tried to compromise my standards with my ex husband and it was a misery. I knew it before we got married, still I believed God would perform a miracle. I tried with a man I met a couple of years ago. And I ended up losing myself, being dumped and being even more miserable. When the list of deal breakers is ignored it will most often make your life miserable. Yes. God can change people's hearts. But he also gave us a head, and if the gut feeling says "no" it is better to listen to that and act accordingly.
Although I am not seeing anyone, I can't imagine anyone being remotely interested in seeing me either, I think it is better to keep certain standards and rather be alone. I have tried to compromise my standards with my ex husband and it was a misery. I knew it before we got married, still I believed God would perform a miracle. I tried with a man I met a couple of years ago. And I ended up losing myself, being dumped and being even more miserable. When the list of deal breakers is ignored it will most often make your life miserable. Yes. God can change people's hearts. But he also gave us a head, and if the gut feeling says "no" it is better to listen to that and act accordingly.
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NoNameMcgee
Guest
lol no
you dont even need to be with anyone to be happy...
if you have less standards i would think it should be easier to find someone you can get along with
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NoNameMcgee
Guest
deal breakers for me is a guy who has a bad temper that they can't control. Animal abusers, smokers, any addiction and who doesn't work that much and isn't very motivated to find a better job.
When you say motivated, what about those who try to get a better job but can't due to how hard it is?
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La_Vie_En_Rose
Guest
I do not care if he worships Satan or if he worships a stuffed bear. I do not care if he takes every illegal substance known to man. I do not care if he has every sexually transmitted disease and has slept with a 1,000 people. I do not care if he is as broke as a joke. I do not care if he is as ugly as Quasimodo. Only two things are deal breakers:
(1) He must love me exclusively- no one else.
(2) He must read books (comic books, graphic novels, 50 Shades of Gray do not count as books).
(1) He must love me exclusively- no one else.
(2) He must read books (comic books, graphic novels, 50 Shades of Gray do not count as books).
Well if a man actually reads 50 Shades Of Gray that's a red flag right there. Are you planning on having children since you don't care about him having STD's?
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La_Vie_En_Rose
Guest
I was being a little facetious. I am two years past optimal child bearing age. After a woman is 36, if she becomes pregnant, it is called a geriatric pregnancy and is riskier. I would like to have children, but that window gets a little more closed every year.
Really, I can not see myself attracted to a man who does not read real books. Everything else besides exclusivity and reading are negotiable.
Ok so if he sits around all day gaming, that's a deal breaker. Got it. On a side note, totally reasonable!
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La_Vie_En_Rose
Guest
Lol, don’t get me wrong. I waste a LOT of time. But, I just love books and talking about books so much, I can’t imagine not sharing the love of reading with my husband.