How is a husband to accept wife's suspicion

[jenniferand2]

I talked to my pastor about this incident, and he tells me that my wife doesn't have any respect towards me. He also asked me if I need help with filing for divorce that he can help. I told him that God is telling me to hang in there, but I find it torturous.

Here's some background...
I got into an argument a couple of weeks back over putting my stepson on my dental and vision insurance. He's over the age of 21 one, doesn't live in the house nor does he attend college. My wife has him under her insurance, and he has coverage under his employer. The wife thinks that I'm after her son, because I didn't add him to my plan. On my insurance plan I have myself, my spouse, my youngest daughter (15) and my stepdaughter (17). My three other kids are not on my plan, (22g, 19g, 18b), because of my ex-wife trying to fraud the insurance company by purchasing Ray-bans and Oakley sunglasses. I March I had to use our insurance to get everyone through dental and vision, because of a layoff. My wife ended up purchasing my stepdaughter $500 Tiffany frames and my stepson $800 Dolce & Gabbana frames. I wasn't with them during the purchase i just saw the debt hit our HSA account.

Anyway... The reason I didn't want to add him on the insurance is because I didn't want to be liable again.

The argument happens, and my wife is upset about the insurance. So much so that she is telling that she wants a divorce, because I'm not treating her son fairly. I let her vent and then leave the house for a few hours to let her cool down.

During that time she had texted my brother and told him how terrible I am. trying to win them on her side. I later find out that she text male friends that have adult stepchildren on their insurance asking for their opinions.

Another bit of information...
My wife keeps her phone locked, and she is always on online with her phone. I find her sometimes up in the middle of the night on her phone posting. i can see her smiling and laughing at times, at things that she finds amusing online. When I ask her about it, she gets jumpy and says it's nothing. I have asked her in the past, if maybe she was talking to someone or that people sometimes misinterpret things as being flirtatious. If she's cool headed she'll say that she's not and when she's not cool headed she starts accusing me of being doing something because i'm being suspicious.

A week later...
It's 10:45pm my wife fell asleep on the sofa. I notice that her phone has a indicator light on, so i move it so that I can see if it was a missed call from her son or parents. Instead there is a message for some guy on the screen that reads "I haven't talked to you in a few days, I want to see..." Since my wife keeps her screen locked, that's as much of the message that I can read. the message came in at 10:20pm. I let it be, for a little while and then finally at 11:00pm i decided to wake up my wife. Although I was furious, because why is some guy talking to my wife at an unreasonable time? In addition, the message came through Facebook messenger as a undetected text. Meaning that the message doesn't get logged from our mobile phone provider as a call or incoming text. His message indicated a few days, more than two and less than a five. I asked her who is this guy that is texting you in the middle of the night? I told her that it's inappropriate. She looked at her phone and said last week she had text a few guy friends about handling insurance with step-kids. Most likely that he's check in on her, I left the conversation as is.

The next evening...
We are siting on the couch watching TV, and my wife starts using her phone. She then tells me , I see that you reactivated your Facebook account. She said, I bet you checked on the guy that texted me last night. I told her yes, I was curious who he is and why you two are talking. I told her, that last night she mentioned that you talked to a few guy friends about the insurance and step-kids. I told her, I looked at you friends profile. He is a single dad raising his daughter. She started looking through his profile and said that he's married. She showed me a photo on his profile, form three years back. How could you be asking him about step children insurance. I also told her, that she needs to tell him that I (your husband), doesn't see it appropriate to be communicating you after 8:30pm. I told her does his wife know that he is text you in the middle of the night? My wife opened her messaging app, and showed me the message that he had sent to her the night before. It read "I haven't talked to you in a few days, I want to see if you got your insurance thing resolved, and I'm here if you need to talk." I told my wife that's great, I'm glad he's being polite but he's checking the field. He wants to keep an open dialogue with you. I told my wife, now looking at your message where is the rest of the text from a few days ago? She said that she deleted them, that she deletes any messages that she has with men. I told her why in the world would you delete them if you aren't trying to hide anything? I told her that my phone is open, that she has my passwords. i never delete any conversations that I have with anyone, because I have nothing to hide.

What happens next...
I watched my wife start typing on her phone, and i wait for her to finish. I told her was that really important for you type to stop something in the middle of our conversation. She said I did what you asked me to do, to text my friend to stop communicating with me in the middle of the night. I asked her if I can see what she had sent. she showed me, and it read "My asshole husband is sitting right next to me and is telling me that you shouldn't be messaging me in the middle of the night. He is also threatening to tell your wife, that we are talking. If he reaches out to you or your wife please let me know." I told her, why would you send that message like that? I wasn't threatening him or his wife? And why would my call me names to someone? She said because you are a stalker, and I'm afraid that you are going to harass him. I told her, if you were in my position wouldn't you be curious? I left it alone and went to bed as well as my wife.

Middle of the night...
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy. I went to visit the guy Facebook account, and I noticed that my wife's previous likes and post have been removed. I was thinking why would this happen, he just removed all of her posting? Then I decided to check her Facebook, I was unfriended. I was shocked, but not really concerned because I'm not a social media type of person. (Here i am posting) . LOL . But then I started thinking about her Facebook, she goes by her maiden name and never post pictures about us. She has her Facebook as being single, and little trace of me being involved.

I have been praying to God about this, and have talking to my wife about the way it made me feel.
How I don't feel respected, and that she disrespected me to her friend.
- She tells me "I only disrespect you in front of my friends, not when you aren't around"

I left for work today, I whispered in her ear:
"I want to create something beautiful between us, something long lasting. I want to show you how much I love you."
I feel that God wants me to be patient, and to work on my marriage.
I see obstacles and challenges, I don't think that God wants me to go through this much of a challenge.

Here's the question...
What should I do?
How would you handle it?
I'm I being over reactive?
How do I love someone, when they don't respect you?

your wife and my husband would make a great couple. they can treat each other like Sh*^t until the cows come home. I am no longer willing to work on anything with my husband he is a miserable abusive crap and has no intentions of changing that he made that loud and clear to me.... I have to agree this woman sounds like she has already checked out of the marriage she is way to attached to her phone if she can not even have a conversation with you about important things with out ignoring you and being right back to her phone. My guess is she is hanging on because of maybe money reasons seems like being able to buy high end expensive glasses etc.. to me it seems like she only cares about material things and not so much the things that matter.. I am unsure how long you have been married but it sounds to me like you really need to value yourself and your faith with God and maybe have a talk with God about how do I get my own values on track and if she wants to follow along great but I doubt it. she seems very disrespectful and non caring at all about you or your feelings. That to me is very uncool this is the problem I have with my Husband he only cares about himself and what ever it is he can buy.. He does not care that I want to talk to make a plan to work things out . He does not respect me in the least little bit he walks on me like a doormat. All these things I have asked begged pleaded for change and nothing it has been well over ten years of this crap and not one change has been made. So i finally have had enough I am still young enough that I can someday find a man who respect me and treat me very well. If not I am okay with being alone as well. I suggest one ultimate test to see if your relationship is worth saving. Mark a week on a schedule where you lock all electronic devices in a drawer cell phones I pads etc... what ever no electronics are allowed for one week.. Then communicate with each other with no distractions. If she still is not into listening to you or hearing what your needs are and same for you you need to hear her needs etc...then chances are you all will not make it much longer. relationships fail when communication comes to a halt.

 

[jenniferand2]

I just left the church from having a counseling session with one of the pastor. He's all up for talking with my wife, and I just got off the phone with her and she's wanting to talk to pastor as well. Looks that God is moving us in a positive direction. the wife wants to wait for after the holidays, so things will stay calm for now.

God is an awesome God!
He's in our hearts and listens to our prayers!

I pray this works out for you I do But like it was mentioned in another post put a time line on your happiness with your marriage if say in 6 weeks you have been doing council with the pastor and your both are trying and applying to better things for real then go a bit longer.. But don't be fooled either by the rat that ate the cheese so to speak don't let her play along making you think she will change and even change for a bit then she will most likely fall right back into her old ways....

 

[jenniferand2]

Lynn,
Thank you for your post on this.
You are right about the hot cold comment, I keep praying and I keep getting the message to keep trying.
I know that my wife gets frustrated with me, but I need to keep trying.
Suspicion is a bad thing to battle, as I told my wife before. It's the little things that don't add up. So when something happens, then the little action is what make a person wonder.

As I mentioned, I love my wife I just don't understand her action at times. I told the pastor, that that I want to concentrate on making things great again in my marriage. I glimpse of hope is that she will go to counseling, and we can work on our communication with each other. That we can put God first and let God's plan for us be our foundation. I talk to her about God and some of the teaching that i read or receive, but she doesn't have trust that we will follow through.

I'm not sure what your posting is about:
"Its best not to overly invest in the nuances of an internet posters life.
Especially one that may just be fabricating a script"

- are you implying that my situation is made up?
I came here to get guidance from other believers in Christ.
I work with non-believers, and their advise is very disappointing.
- that's not in my demeanor or the way that God would want me to handle my marriage issues.

She is telling you in secret code that she does not care to do the work to change things.. your own comment: but she doesn't have trust that we will follow through. I really think she has checked out of this marriage and has no interest in fixing anything.

 

[7777pinacled]

Lynn,
Divorce is not for me as an option. I know that we struggle with things in our lives. They are just obstacles, and we need to see what God will provide for us after. I don't want to be hasty, I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with my wife in my marriage. Although, if she tells me let's file for divorce I won't fight her on it.


I feel bad for posting about the pastor helping with a divorce. Keep in mind that he has heard my troubles and have been dealing with issues with other people. At one counseling session he said, from what i'm telling him and our behavior that we have about 2 to 5 years unless we get things corrected. He said that I could be trying until the day I die to win my wife's heart and without her reciprocating. I have gone to non biblical counseling in the past, and my pastor has said that he suggest both biblical and non biblical. Just that we we need to get help.

The way my wife might see things...
I'm asking help on a perspective on how i'm dealing with my wife.
Maybe I'm being blind on thinking that things can change.
I love my wife, yes she upsets me or doesn't make me feel loved or wanted.
- she says that "i'm needy", when I talk to other people about this they say I shouldn't allow anyone to tell me that I'm needy.
- was the morning hug a "needy thing?"
Overall, I think we can get back to where we both love each other wholeheartedly.
- this comes with putting God first and then working on each other

Adultry destroys bonds, and is a serious matter.
I dont think you have understood the implications and consequences of enabling the behavior of an abusive relationship.
There is no love in anything you have posted.
Only a shallow grave resembling something written to entertain wicked counsel.
:There is no honor nor edification involved in anything you have shared.
To stay positive through it all?
I dont recall any such doctrines or sound judgement in heaping coals on ones head.


If you are not willing to accept reality, then by all means roll in the mire.

 

[jenniferand2]

I can't take the daughter, she's my step daughter. Although my step daughter sees the way that her mom is.

A couple of weeks a go my text me and the daughter "working late i have meeting to attend".
I took the daughter out for dinner, as I always do getting her set for the evening and homework.
While eating out, my daughter said mom is missing out on a good meal. Instead she wants to drink with all of her friends.

later that night...
The wife arrives home, drunk and passes out on the couch.
Tries to start an argument, and passes out.
I had to ask her if she was drunk and how did she drive home?
Our daughter, said just leave her alone she's out and isn't listening.

next day...
Come to find out that the meeting, was nothing to do with work.
It was a girls night out at a new adult entertainment (not stripping a bar and games) place in town.
I don't understand why I was excluded or informed, other than to take care of our daughter.

Drinking problems no good... I agree that she is very disconnected from everything it sounds to me like she is hanging on just so she can be taken care of...... Has single on her facebook locks phone this is all stuff that is screaming the fact that she is detached from this marriage already.

 

[7777pinacled]

Drinking problems no good... I agree that she is very disconnected from everything it sounds to me like she is hanging on just so she can be taken care of...... Has single on her facebook locks phone this is all stuff that is screaming the fact that she is detached from this marriage already.

Exactly.
The list continues until they are banned from posting on a website.

This poster refuses to come into the Light., or perhaps has no oil to light a lamp.
Instead they continue to Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public setting for all to know.
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-gossip/

https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Gossip

 

[scruffyraccoon]

Exactly.
The list continues until they are banned from posting on a website.

This poster refuses to come into the Light., or perhaps has no oil to light a lamp.
Instead they continue to Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public setting for all to know.
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-gossip/

https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Gossip

and NOT how too condemn my wife....

Big fingers and little screen trying to type.

 

[7777pinacled]

and NOT how too condemn my wife....

Big fingers and little screen trying to type.

Who said anything about condemnation.
Cease from posting about her. There is no need to go into details other than she has failed to even be a friend to you. And you have already been given advice from others.
Sound Judgement is what you need, seek the Lord earnestly in this area.

As a believer in the Holy One you are to be the head, and an example to your wife.

1 Corinthians 7New International Version (NIV)

Concerning Married Life

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt youbecause of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

 

[7777pinacled]

and NOT how too condemn my wife....

Big fingers and little screen trying to type.

Two lambs and a good sabbath
For example


Philippians 2Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)
2 Therefore, if you have any encouragement for me from your being in union with the Messiah, any comfort flowing from love, any fellowship with me in the Spirit, or any compassion and sympathy, 2 then complete my joy by having a common purpose and a common love, by being one in heart and mind. 3 Do nothing out of rivalry or vanity; but, in humility, regard each other as better than yourselves — 4 look out for each other’s interests and not just for your own.

5 Let your attitude toward one another be governed by your being in union with the Messiah Yeshua:

6 Though he was in the form of God,
he did not regard equality with God
something to be possessed by force.
7 On the contrary, he emptied himself,
in that he took the form of a slave
by becoming like human beings are.

And when he appeared as a human being,
8 he humbled himself still more
by becoming obedient even to death —
death on a stake as a criminal!
9 Therefore God raised him to the highest place
and gave him the name above every name;

10 that in honor of the name given Yeshua,
every knee will bow —
in heaven, on earth and under the earth —
11 and every tongue will acknowledge[a]
that Yeshua the Messiah is Adonai —
to the glory of God the Father.

12 So, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed when I was with you, it is even more important that you obey now when I am away from you: keep working out your deliverance with fear and trembling, 13 for God is the one working among you both the willing and the working for what pleases him. 14 Do everything without kvetching or arguing, 15 so that you may be blameless and pure children of God, without defect in the midst of a twisted and perverted generation,[c] among whom you shine like stars in the sky, 16 as you hold on to the Word of Life. If you do this, I will be able to boast, when the Day of the Messiah comes, that I did not run or toil for nothing. 17 Indeed, even if my lifeblood is poured out as a drink offering over the sacrifice and service of your faith, I will still be glad and rejoice with you all. 18 Likewise, you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

19 But I hope in the Lord Yeshua to send Timothy to you shortly, so that I too may be cheered by knowing how you are doing. 20 I have no one who compares with him, who will care so sincerely for your welfare — 21 people all put their own interests ahead of the Messiah Yeshua’s. 22 But you know his character, that like a child with his father he slaved with me to advance the Good News. 23 So I hope to send him just as soon as I see how things will go with me, 24 and I am confident in the Lord that before long I myself will come too.

25 Also I considered it necessary to send you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow-worker and fellow-soldier, the emissary whom you sent to take care of my needs; 26 since he has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard he was ill. 27 Indeed he was ill, close to death; but God had mercy on him — and not only on him, but also on me — otherwise I would have had sorrow piled on sorrow. 28 Therefore, I am all the more eager to send him, so that you may rejoice when you see him again; and I, for my part, may be less sad. 29 So give him a joyful welcome in the Lord; honor such people. 30 For he risked his life and nearly died working for the Messiah, in order to give me the help you were not in a position to give.

 

[scruffyraccoon]

Good morning 7777pinacled,

Your comments and actions of trying to stop the posting to this really got me thinking and praying.
As Christians we are here to help support one another, and guide us to what our belief tells us how to follow God.
Not every action in the bible happened over night, or in a few days.


With that said, how can you say that "This poster refuses to come into the Light"?
- Just because someone posted a comment or gave input doesn't mean that it's correct or incorrect.
- Do you believe that your light is shining bright that you know everything about God?
This is a forum where Christians "believers in Christ" can ask questions about situations or issues that they deal with daily.
I truly believe that I learned a lot from some of the comments posted, as an insight.

You question my integrity about a situation that I'm dealing with:
"Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public"
You question that I am married?
When detailing an event, that's not gossip it's giving background of the events that transpired.


Looking at your profile are you really 115, years old?
Reading through your post are you truly here to help or stir up the pot?
Your account started since early this month, and you have over 100 post?
- That's close to 8 post a day, is this your job?
- Most of us we use this forum when we have time in our work day, or in between taking care of thing with our families.
Not married, do you really know how a marriage works?
- You could be a divorcee or widower, i(we) don't know.
Do you really believe that you can fix things only residing a single line of scripture?
- Try doing that with someone that knows the truth but denies it.
- Yes we know that they have to answer to God, but what then at what moment do "you walk away"?

I'm not looking to carry on a conversation with you, I'm just pointing out that how i feel.

 

[7777pinacled]

Good morning 7777pinacled,

Your comments and actions of trying to stop the posting to this really got me thinking and praying.
As Christians we are here to help support one another, and guide us to what our belief tells us how to follow God.
Not every action in the bible happened over night, or in a few days.


With that said, how can you say that "This poster refuses to come into the Light"?
- Just because someone posted a comment or gave input doesn't mean that it's correct or incorrect.
- Do you believe that your light is shining bright that you know everything about God?
This is a forum where Christians "believers in Christ" can ask questions about situations or issues that they deal with daily.
I truly believe that I learned a lot from some of the comments posted, as an insight.

You question my integrity about a situation that I'm dealing with:
"Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public"
You question that I am married?
When detailing an event, that's not gossip it's giving background of the events that transpired.


Looking at your profile are you really 115, years old?
Reading through your post are you truly here to help or stir up the pot?
Your account started since early this month, and you have over 100 post?
- That's close to 8 post a day, is this your job?
- Most of us we use this forum when we have time in our work day, or in between taking care of thing with our families.
Not married, do you really know how a marriage works?
- You could be a divorcee or widower, i(we) don't know.
Do you really believe that you can fix things only residing a single line of scripture?
- Try doing that with someone that knows the truth but denies it.
- Yes we know that they have to answer to God, but what then at what moment do "you walk away"?

I'm not looking to carry on a conversation with you, I'm just pointing out that how i feel.

I recieve no form of monetary payment for posting here.
My age is unimportant, except that i can tell you ive dealt with abusive relationships in the past.

If you do not understand then continue to wallow in the mire.
Do you presume everyone is going to welcome your muddy waters into their lives.

Take your filth elsewhere.

 

[7777pinacled]

Good morning 7777pinacled,

Your comments and actions of trying to stop the posting to this really got me thinking and praying.
As Christians we are here to help support one another, and guide us to what our belief tells us how to follow God.
Not every action in the bible happened over night, or in a few days.


With that said, how can you say that "This poster refuses to come into the Light"?
- Just because someone posted a comment or gave input doesn't mean that it's correct or incorrect.
- Do you believe that your light is shining bright that you know everything about God?
This is a forum where Christians "believers in Christ" can ask questions about situations or issues that they deal with daily.
I truly believe that I learned a lot from some of the comments posted, as an insight.

You question my integrity about a situation that I'm dealing with:
"Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public"
You question that I am married?
When detailing an event, that's not gossip it's giving background of the events that transpired.


Looking at your profile are you really 115, years old?
Reading through your post are you truly here to help or stir up the pot?
Your account started since early this month, and you have over 100 post?
- That's close to 8 post a day, is this your job?
- Most of us we use this forum when we have time in our work day, or in between taking care of thing with our families.
Not married, do you really know how a marriage works?
- You could be a divorcee or widower, i(we) don't know.
Do you really believe that you can fix things only residing a single line of scripture?
- Try doing that with someone that knows the truth but denies it.
- Yes we know that they have to answer to God, but what then at what moment do "you walk away"?

I'm not looking to carry on a conversation with you, I'm just pointing out that how i feel.

You are not even aware that you heap coals on your own head with such arrogance.

 

[7777pinacled]

Good morning 7777pinacled,

Your comments and actions of trying to stop the posting to this really got me thinking and praying.
As Christians we are here to help support one another, and guide us to what our belief tells us how to follow God.
Not every action in the bible happened over night, or in a few days.


With that said, how can you say that "This poster refuses to come into the Light"?
- Just because someone posted a comment or gave input doesn't mean that it's correct or incorrect.
- Do you believe that your light is shining bright that you know everything about God?
This is a forum where Christians "believers in Christ" can ask questions about situations or issues that they deal with daily.
I truly believe that I learned a lot from some of the comments posted, as an insight.

You question my integrity about a situation that I'm dealing with:
"Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public"
You question that I am married?
When detailing an event, that's not gossip it's giving background of the events that transpired.


Looking at your profile are you really 115, years old?
Reading through your post are you truly here to help or stir up the pot?
Your account started since early this month, and you have over 100 post?
- That's close to 8 post a day, is this your job?
- Most of us we use this forum when we have time in our work day, or in between taking care of thing with our families.
Not married, do you really know how a marriage works?
- You could be a divorcee or widower, i(we) don't know.
Do you really believe that you can fix things only residing a single line of scripture?
- Try doing that with someone that knows the truth but denies it.
- Yes we know that they have to answer to God, but what then at what moment do "you walk away"?

I'm not looking to carry on a conversation with you, I'm just pointing out that how i feel.

[h=1]Proverbs 25Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)[/h][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]25 These also are proverbs of Shlomo; the men of Hizkiyah king of Y’hudah copied them out:[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]2 God gets glory from concealing things;
kings get glory from investigating things.
3 Like the sky for height or the earth for depth
is the heart of kings — unfathomable.
4 Remove the impurities from the silver,
and the smith has material to make a vessel.
5 Remove the wicked from the king’s presence,
and his throne will rest firmly on righteousness.
6 Don’t put yourself forward in the king’s presence;
don’t take a place among the great.
7 For it is better to be told, “Come up here,”
than be degraded in the presence of a nobleman.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]What your eyes have seen,
8 don’t rush to present in a dispute.
For what will you do later on,
if your neighbor puts you to shame?
9 Discuss your dispute with your neighbor,
but don’t reveal another person’s secrets.
10 If you do, and he hears of it, he will disgrace you,
and your bad reputation will stick.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]11 Like apples of gold in settings of silver
is a word appropriately spoken.
12 Like a gold earring, like a fine gold necklace
is a wise reprover to a receptive ear.
13 Like the coldness of snow in the heat of the harvest
is a faithful messenger to the one who sends him;
he refreshes his master’s spirit.
14 Like clouds and wind that bring no rain
is he who boasts of gifts he never gives.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]15 With patience a ruler may be won over,
and a gentle tongue can break bones.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]16 If you find honey, eat only what you need;
for if you eat too much of it, you may throw it up;
17 so don’t visit your neighbor too much,
or he may get his fill of you and come to hate you.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]18 Like a club, a sword or a sharp arrow
is a person who gives false testimony against a neighbor.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]19 Relying on an untrustworthy person in a time of trouble
is like [relying on] a broken tooth or an unsteady leg.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]20 Like removing clothes on a chilly day or like vinegar on soda
is someone who sings songs to a heavy heart.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]21 If someone who hates you is hungry, give him food to eat;
and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22 For you will heap fiery coals [of shame] on his head,
and Adonai will reward you.
23 The north wind brings rain
and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]24 It is better to live on a corner of the roof
than to share the house with a nagging wife.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]25 Like cold water to a person faint from thirst
is good news from a distant land.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]26 Like a muddied spring or a polluted well
is a righteous person who gives way before the wicked.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]27 It isn’t good to eat too much honey
or to seek honor after honor.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]28 Like a city breached, without walls,
is a person who lacks self-control.[/FONT]
[/FONT]

 

[scruffyraccoon]

7777pinacled,
Please stop posting and move along.
If you find this post offensive then stop reading it.

I read the scriptures, and I know the book of Proverbs as well.

God bless you, and happy posting to the unrighteousness because you are all knowing.

 

[blue_ladybug]

For the love of a monkey, just put him on ignore. Then you won't see his posts anymore.. Settings tab, then "edit ignore list"..Click "save changes" afterward..

7777pinacled,
Please stop posting and move along.
If you find this post offensive then stop reading it.

I read the scriptures, and I know the book of Proverbs as well.

God bless you, and happy posting to the unrighteousness because you are all knowing.

 

[Dan58]

She then starts to tell me how much she hates me, and that I need to sleep in the other room tonight.

I think I've changed my prospective on your rocky marriage. Nothing good comes from a wife who hangs out in bars and comes home drunk. Not to mention when the police are called because she doesn't like what your telling her. Your in a nightmare, not a marriage. Love must be blind, how else could you love someone like that? Its certainly not reciprocal since she told you she hates you and wants you to sleep in another room. Patience isn't always a virtue, especially when there's no indication that a person wants to change. I'd be making plans to exit, because from what you've described, this woman has displayed no affection or love towards you. To the contrary, she's exploiting your good nature while she flirts with old boyfriends on facebook. Forget the Pastor, just tell her that your thinking of filing for divorce and see if she reacts at all to that news... jmo

 

[7777pinacled]

For the love of a monkey, just put him on ignore. Then you won't see his posts anymore.. Settings tab, then "edit ignore list"..Click "save changes" afterward..

O, no need,
There is no anger here.
The young man just needs to hear the Truth before the salt looses its flavor.
Since of course manners of discretion have been thrown to the wind.
When ever is it appropriate to speak of personal marital matters over the internet? Sure there is the objective transparency provided in obfusication..but by no standard should a member of the body if Christ publically shame a person who may or may not exist. The hearsay testimony and accusations of this poster are the malcontent
mussings of someone who has an agenda.

Hope in the Lord for the Salvation of a soul.

 

[scruffyraccoon]

Dan,
My relationship with my wife is on a rollercoaster at times. I can't tell when things are good or bad with us until it's happening. i have started to withdrawal myself a bit, and trying to focus on the good things about my marriage. Not much of a list other than we we share a dog, and my stepdaughter needs my help to and from school. When my wife is calm, she talks about our future and things that we can do in the years to come. That gives me a positive glimpse that she wants me around still.

Lots of my wife's drinking comes from job related activities. She's an admin assistant for a recruiter for a major agency in the area, and they take the prospective employees out for dinner. Oddly her manager is a believer in Christ, because he is a theologian (seminary). I don't think he attends the dinners due to travel, but he put my wife in the the dinner / drinking situation. Not to mention with the prospect employee's who are successful in their fields. Most events are at the resort/hotel dining facility, since majority of the PE travel in. That's a entire other subject that I don't feel like talking about. In any case my wife has a prior DUI, it's from the time period that when we first met. I just don't know why her manager would put her into this situation when he is a studied believer?

I'm not a saint in all of this as well, I find myself badgering her for answers. Meaning that i keep asking why were the messages deleted? Why did he put himself on Facebook that I can't find him anymore ( I know she can't answer that). Or that this is a similar pattern that had ended her 1st marriage, that things haven't changed. When I pray I know that I'm a sinner, and I ask for forgiveness. I know that I will not commit the same sins, because I don't want to be that person dealing with issues that i asked for forgiveness on. The conversation about the guy texting her went on for four days. I don't mention it any longer because there isn't resolution, because the text messages have been deleted. I can't force her to unlock her phone, because she's entitled to her privacy. I can't raise my voice and be stern, because she threatens to call the police. In all honesty that's not me, I'm patient and try to think things through. I pray a lot, and keep to myself and keep in mind that God is working something great soon.

She did kiss me good bye this morning and said that she loved me under her tongue when I said it wishing her a good day.

I just read an article about unconditional love.
I feel that God is asking me to love my wife unconditionally, regardless how she treats me.
That everyday is a fresh start.
Because one morning, it will be the start of something beautiful between us and long lasting.

 

[Depleted]

Good morning 7777pinacled,

Your comments and actions of trying to stop the posting to this really got me thinking and praying.
As Christians we are here to help support one another, and guide us to what our belief tells us how to follow God.
Not every action in the bible happened over night, or in a few days.


With that said, how can you say that "This poster refuses to come into the Light"?
- Just because someone posted a comment or gave input doesn't mean that it's correct or incorrect.
- Do you believe that your light is shining bright that you know everything about God?
This is a forum where Christians "believers in Christ" can ask questions about situations or issues that they deal with daily.
I truly believe that I learned a lot from some of the comments posted, as an insight.

You question my integrity about a situation that I'm dealing with:
"Gossip and slander their supposed wife to further humiliate her in a public"
You question that I am married?
When detailing an event, that's not gossip it's giving background of the events that transpired.


Looking at your profile are you really 115, years old?
Reading through your post are you truly here to help or stir up the pot?
Your account started since early this month, and you have over 100 post?
- That's close to 8 post a day, is this your job?
- Most of us we use this forum when we have time in our work day, or in between taking care of thing with our families.
Not married, do you really know how a marriage works?
- You could be a divorcee or widower, i(we) don't know.
Do you really believe that you can fix things only residing a single line of scripture?
- Try doing that with someone that knows the truth but denies it.
- Yes we know that they have to answer to God, but what then at what moment do "you walk away"?

I'm not looking to carry on a conversation with you, I'm just pointing out that how i feel.

I really don't know 777 yet, however you're guessing poorly. No age. 115 is the number of posts he's added, not an age.

And if you have something against people posting more than 8 post a day, whoopsie! 8 posts in one day would be a low day for me on here. lol We don't all have jobs. Some of us are disabled, some students, some retired, and some folks have already started the holiday vacation.

And then again, 777 has most certainly not given merely one line of scripture. (I don't see many people give full chapters, but 777 is definitely a chapter's person, not a one-line person. lol)

You do get no one is going to agree with everything everyone else says, right? That's simply reality -- in the world and in the church. You're supposed to be a grownup and pick and choose what you want out of anything anyone says.

Honestly? I'm still not getting what 777 is saying. (Thus the reason I posted the big "HUH?" before.) But if this is how you handle negative criticism, it's sure showing us a glimpse into how you react, even in your marriage. The problem with talking a lot. The true you comes through.

Not really a problem, if the true you was always there from the beginning, but I've been paying attention to your problems, and have notice it has been all how you've been wronged. Now that I see you wronging 777, I'm thinking this is the true you IRL. If someone disagrees with you, you turn to ripping them apart, even to the point that none of it has to be true?

Not. Good. Man!

 

[Depleted]

I recieve no form of monetary payment for posting here.
My age is unimportant, except that i can tell you ive dealt with abusive relationships in the past.

If you do not understand then continue to wallow in the mire.
Do you presume everyone is going to welcome your muddy waters into their lives.

Take your filth elsewhere.

Oh brother, on you too, 777.

"Filth" because he's less than you?

Why do I feel like I'm in a grade school schoolyard now?