Struggling with sick, embarrassing memories

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Depleted

Guest
#21
#21
faceoff said:
Leviticus 20:15-16 NIV
“ 'If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal. [16] “ 'If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
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I see why you hide your face now.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#22
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#22
faceoff said:
Leviticus 20:15-16 NIV
“ 'If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal. [16] “ 'If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
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You are a fortunate man, that there is a vast ocean between us.
 
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ColoradoGal

Member
#23
Jul 23, 2017
52
8
0
#23
Gemmy said:
When I was younger, I was molested by a cousin. As I got older, and this is really hard to say, I started to develop a horrible view of sex. I really hate saying this but here it goes... at a young age, I started viewing porn and ended up discovering beastiality. Before I go any further, I'm in no way attracted to animals or anything. This is nothing that has happened recently. I am a born again Christian and I no longer look at those things nor do I want to and I didn't have a desire to at the time.

When I was a teenager, I did something very sickening by letting one of my old pets smell my private area and as a child, I was humped by one of our dogs... I AM NOT at all proud to say this. Looking at who I am now, I wish I would've never did that. I wish I never discovered these things, I wish I was never molested, and I wish I could take back the things I saw. I know this is very demented and I apologize. I have not for a second thought about going back to these things. They just haunt me now and I've had voices in my head telling me to commit suicide but I'm a Christian and would never do that. I hope you are still able to talk to me after this as it was very hard for me to come to you with this. My flashbacks are centered around what happened with my pet and it's been killing me. I want to take it all back..........
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What do you mean voices? Why would you kill yourself over being molested and making a mistake as a teenager?

Lots of people who are sexually victimized end up with a warped sense of sexuality. Lots of gays, for example, recount their first sexual experience at the hands of another male who molested/raped them.

There's no reason such a thing should haunt you.
 
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ColoradoGal

Member
#24
Jul 23, 2017
52
8
0
#24
faceoff said:
Leviticus 20:15-16 NIV
“ 'If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal. [16] “ 'If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
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This is no Christian and sexual relations were not committed here. That is an atheist troll that probably hates Christians.
 
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ColoradoGal

Member
#25
Jul 23, 2017
52
8
0
#25
blue_ladybug said:
ALL dogs sniff people's crotches.. They even sniff each other's buttholes. It's their way of greeting each other.. And every single one of us has had a leg humped by a dog at some point in our lives.. :) So just stop tormenting yourself over it...
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I woke up with my pet dog humping my face.
 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#26
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
468
83
#26
Willie-T said:
Hi Gemmy. More than happy to have you here. You just stumbled on a bunch of us who have just as many, if not more, memories that also nip at our heels, no matter how fast we run.
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We all have skeletons. Jesus does not want us to be plagued by guilt or bad memories.
 
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heartofdavid

Guest
#27
#27
Gemmy said:
When I was younger, I was molested by a cousin. As I got older, and this is really hard to say, I started to develop a horrible view of sex. I really hate saying this but here it goes... at a young age, I started viewing porn and ended up discovering beastiality. Before I go any further, I'm in no way attracted to animals or anything. This is nothing that has happened recently. I am a born again Christian and I no longer look at those things nor do I want to and I didn't have a desire to at the time.


When I was a teenager, I did something very sickening by letting one of my old pets smell my private area and as a child, I was humped by one of our dogs... I AM NOT at all proud to say this. Looking at who I am now, I wish I would've never did that. I wish I never discovered these things, I wish I was never molested, and I wish I could take back the things I saw. I know this is very demented and I apologize. I have not for a second thought about going back to these things. They just haunt me now and I've had voices in my head telling me to commit suicide but I'm a Christian and would never do that. I hope you are still able to talk to me after this as it was very hard for me to come to you with this. My flashbacks are centered around what happened with my pet and it's been killing me. I want to take it all back..........
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Paul,or great example,did worse than you.
He had christians arrested tortured and killed.

He even said "I am an apostle,not worthy to be called an apostle because of what I did to the church"

Take to heart what Paul did and said to gain TOTAL VICTORY.
TOTAL VICTORY. THAT IS YOUR PORTION.

The torment is over. You are going to now be on the OFFENSIVE.

You are passively allowing those videos of your memory and voivces of demons to walk all over you.
Your back is smooth where they have trampled you.

Get proactive. Freedom is work.

Say to yourself " I WILL NEVER,EVER SIT UP TO THAT TABLE AGAIN" (memories and voices)

Make them depart.

How? Like Paul did.

You decide right now,to refocus,everytime they come knocking.
They will come again. But now you are ready. You scream it out. "I have been crucified with Christ. That person is dead. Besides that I am covered in the Blood of my God and savior Jesus Christ the righteous"

Now,what Paul said was, "what ever things are good,lovely and of a good report,think on these things"

See that? you REDIRECT YOUR THOUGHTS TO WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!!!

You are not that person in the videos of your mind. Nor the person that those voices are depicting.

They literally have the wrong gal.

Be free girl. It is your portion. You are ALLOWING them to torment you.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#28
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#28
It wouldn't be right if I did not make an open apology to all of you. I got hot this morning, and let fly with some profanity at *faceoff* for him saying some totally unnecessary things. The Mods removed my impulsive remark, and for that, I thank them, and apologize to the rest of you for making it necessary for them to do so.
 
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heartofdavid

Guest
#29
#29
Gemmy said:
Thank you so much. I hope I haven't scared anyone with this post...I'm not at all proud of these things. It really bothers me. I've been crying a lot over these things. I always say to myself what would my family and friends think if they knew this. It hurts me so bad. It's hard to accept I've been forgiven because these thoughts really torment me.
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You put a line in the sand girl.
Never again will those things haunt me or hurt me.
I am COMPLETE IN CHRIST...COMPLETE...TOTAL VICTORY.

DECAPITATE THAT MESS.

When someone comes into your room,say "be careful where you step,there are decapitated demons everywhere"
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#30
#30
faceoff said:
Leviticus 20:15-16 NIV
“ 'If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal. [16] “ 'If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
Click to expand...


​Banned,good!
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#32
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,702
113
#32
You're a good man, Willie. And we love you.. :)


Willie-T said:
It wouldn't be right if I did not make an open apology to all of you. I got hot this morning, and let fly with some profanity at *faceoff* for him saying some totally unnecessary things. The Mods removed my impulsive remark, and for that, I thank them, and apologize to the rest of you for making it necessary for them to do so.
Click to expand...
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#34
Feb 15, 2017
9,071
4,474
113
#34
Willie-T said:
It wouldn't be right if I did not make an open apology to all of you. I got hot this morning, and let fly with some profanity at *faceoff* for him saying some totally unnecessary things. The Mods removed my impulsive remark, and for that, I thank them, and apologize to the rest of you for making it necessary for them to do so.
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Respect given Willie-T.

For the record I liked that post, I would have said the same, along similar lines.
And have done at times.

I doff my cap to you.
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#35
Feb 15, 2017
9,071
4,474
113
#35
Gemmy,

Do you know the following?

John 17:23
23 I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.


God loves you as much as he loves Jesus.

YES IT IS TRUE. YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS JESUS, THE SAME AS HE LOVES JESUS.
 
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heartofdavid

Guest
#37
#37
Yes he is.
I love him too.

He is real.
 
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heartofdavid

Guest
#38
#38
Look at it this way gem,
Say you are in a waiting room with other people. The guy sitting next to you is amping out furiously over a harrible memory of some war scene he was in and the memory is tering him to pieces while he is shaking and convulsing right next to you.

OK,you feel NOTHING.

Why?

Because it only exists in his mind. IOW,it DOES NOT EXIST TO YOU, only to him.

Now do you see it?

NONE OF THAT MEMORY APPLIES TO YOU
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#39
Feb 15, 2017
9,071
4,474
113
#39
heartofdavid said:
Yes he is.
I love him too.

He is real.
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And us believers, those in the church of God need accept the reality of others and love and encourage each other. Not condemn each other.

Foster that environment, wall in love then people will be willing to open up and share and ask for help.

I'm sure there are many on this forum who come here because they fear the condemnation that comes as a result of the physical environment.

Here, they are anonymous but can open up in the hope of acceptance and help.

It's our duty, our calling in Jesus to walk and talk and love each other.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#40
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#40
Unless you deal with these things on an ongoing basis, you may not be aware that there is more to PTSD than just ptsd. And that is a stage called PTG. That is an acronym for Post Traumatic GROWTH.

Many of us do not realize there is GROWTH to be gleaned from the midst of the turmoil of bad things. God told us that ALL things work to our benefit....... when we want them to, allow them to, and let Him use them for His greater purpose.

Much of my work for a quarter of a century was helping people repurpose and redirect "faulty learning" due to side-tracking incidents that occurred in their lives during their formative years. I won't go into more right now. I just want you to think about that idea, and see if you can see anything positive eventually coming out of the crap you now seem to be going through.

Ever wonder why God leads us through storms of such deep and turbulent waters? It is because our enemies.... those horrible memories and dreams coming after us... cannot swim. That's why we leave so many of them behind us, drowned in the waters of the Baptismal pool.
 
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