What Happens When That Attractive Person You Marry... Loses Their Attractiveness?
- Thread starter seoulsearch
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I saw an interview with Elizabeth Taylor once in which they asked her why she had gotten married so many times (8, I think, and twice to the same person?)
She said that while other people believed in relationships, she was old-fashioned and raised to believe in getting married instead of just having a relationship, which I thought was kind of unique for someone in Hollywood.
However, all I can say is, I was married once, and it was tough enough when he left.
Thank the Lord I didn't marry the other 3 relationships I had in my life.
She said that while other people believed in relationships, she was old-fashioned and raised to believe in getting married instead of just having a relationship, which I thought was kind of unique for someone in Hollywood.
However, all I can say is, I was married once, and it was tough enough when he left.
Thank the Lord I didn't marry the other 3 relationships I had in my life.
My parents are kind of in that struggle right now (kind of because mom hates conflict so doesn't fight too much). Dad is unhealthy and diabetic and likes unhealthy food, he's also becoming intolerant of more foods. Mom would like to cook healthier meals and have him go for more walks with her, but he's not interested in doing so and doesn't want to change his eating habits. And I guess that's part of the challenge of real life marriage, sometimes your spouse just isn't going to co-operate with what you want because they're a different person and want something different.
D
Fortunately for you, you're potential husband will probably be the kind of guy into healthy eating and exercising.
I can only think that God gave me a very special kind of favor when he brought hubby into my life and actually convinced drop-dead-gorgeous into marrying me, (and never regretting it. Which is also just as miraculous. lol)
Before we met, he was a bodybuilder. Along with being tall and big, the three qualities made him have to go to Big Men's shops to buy clothes. For some strange reason, guys -- usually other musclemen -- tend to have no problems telling each other how good they look. So, hubby would go up to a man he thought was bigger-and-better to tell him just that. And, they'd laugh at him, because they were thinking the same thing about him. Some of the guys he said that to were professional athletes.
Good thing I didn't meet him back then. I really don't like the bodybuilding body. Fortunately, he got into a new stage of work out -- running -- and lost most of the bulk. And then it was winter, and snow, so he gave that up.
That's when we met. lol
He does exercise, and I'm proud of him for that. But he never expected me to do it, just because he did, and I'm happy for that. I don't like being nagged.
We both have healthy breakfasts and dinners, but the rest of eating is a choice we make differently... and abundantly. lol Funny thing -- healthy dinner was his choice, healthy breakfast was mine, and somehow another we brought the other on board for both.
I wouldn't marry someone who kept dropping hints on how I "should" live. Neither one of us married someone we could make over. We married the person we love for who they are. And after 37 years of encouraging the good in each other and loving the person even when we make bad choices, we have grown more into who God always wanted us to be. Personalities have remained the same.
I can only think that God gave me a very special kind of favor when he brought hubby into my life and actually convinced drop-dead-gorgeous into marrying me, (and never regretting it. Which is also just as miraculous. lol)
Before we met, he was a bodybuilder. Along with being tall and big, the three qualities made him have to go to Big Men's shops to buy clothes. For some strange reason, guys -- usually other musclemen -- tend to have no problems telling each other how good they look. So, hubby would go up to a man he thought was bigger-and-better to tell him just that. And, they'd laugh at him, because they were thinking the same thing about him. Some of the guys he said that to were professional athletes.
Good thing I didn't meet him back then. I really don't like the bodybuilding body. Fortunately, he got into a new stage of work out -- running -- and lost most of the bulk. And then it was winter, and snow, so he gave that up.
That's when we met. lol
He does exercise, and I'm proud of him for that. But he never expected me to do it, just because he did, and I'm happy for that. I don't like being nagged.
We both have healthy breakfasts and dinners, but the rest of eating is a choice we make differently... and abundantly. lol Funny thing -- healthy dinner was his choice, healthy breakfast was mine, and somehow another we brought the other on board for both.
I wouldn't marry someone who kept dropping hints on how I "should" live. Neither one of us married someone we could make over. We married the person we love for who they are. And after 37 years of encouraging the good in each other and loving the person even when we make bad choices, we have grown more into who God always wanted us to be. Personalities have remained the same.
Yeah, but they're just kids, so what are you expecting to change?
VP Pence is on my FB page, and announced his 34th anniversary with his wife last week. I was shocked to learn he is such a kid. lol
VP Pence is on my FB page, and announced his 34th anniversary with his wife last week. I was shocked to learn he is such a kid. lol
It's funny how age is always relative though.
We have a family friend who is in the triple digits, and could very well pat the heads of 95-year-olds and call them babies.
P.S. This person was married for 64 years until their spouse died. Had their spouse survived, they would have been married 75 years, and still counting.
D
When I was in 2nd grade, Dad bought us a dog named Briar. He was killed by a truck the last day of 11th grade. I was heart broken.
At the end of my senior year in college, my roommate's cat delivered a litter of kitchens in the third drawer of my chest of drawers. I was smitten by the feisty little black one. Mr. Bo Jangles. (Named for his dancing style as a kitten. lol) Because I'm the kind of person who couldn't say no to a homeless animal, within two years, that cat had two temporary foster brothers and one who was adopted. (The second cat had to go becuase John was more allergic to long-hair cats.) Bo died 14 years later. I was heartbroken.
I'm not the type who gets a new pet when the last one dies. They weren't merely pets. We grew up together. And the heartbreak was bad.
I cannot imagine going through an end of a marriage. I suspect I will, since I'm younger than John, and he's not as healthy as he used to be, but I can't imagine.
I have no idea how someone can do that more than twice. I can barely imagine getting married twice. I'm not that gutsy. I remember Briar and Bo, and they weren't even people.
Something was wrong with Liz. I felt bad for her.
At the end of my senior year in college, my roommate's cat delivered a litter of kitchens in the third drawer of my chest of drawers. I was smitten by the feisty little black one. Mr. Bo Jangles. (Named for his dancing style as a kitten. lol) Because I'm the kind of person who couldn't say no to a homeless animal, within two years, that cat had two temporary foster brothers and one who was adopted. (The second cat had to go becuase John was more allergic to long-hair cats.) Bo died 14 years later. I was heartbroken.
I'm not the type who gets a new pet when the last one dies. They weren't merely pets. We grew up together. And the heartbreak was bad.
I cannot imagine going through an end of a marriage. I suspect I will, since I'm younger than John, and he's not as healthy as he used to be, but I can't imagine.
I have no idea how someone can do that more than twice. I can barely imagine getting married twice. I'm not that gutsy. I remember Briar and Bo, and they weren't even people.
Something was wrong with Liz. I felt bad for her.
D
Heh heh.
It's funny how age is always relative though.
We have a family friend who is in the triple digits, and could very well pat the heads of 95-year-olds and call them babies.
P.S. This person was married for 64 years until their spouse died. Had their spouse survived, they would have been married 75 years, and still counting.
It's funny how age is always relative though.
We have a family friend who is in the triple digits, and could very well pat the heads of 95-year-olds and call them babies.
P.S. This person was married for 64 years until their spouse died. Had their spouse survived, they would have been married 75 years, and still counting.
D
When Dad was 42, (and, wow! Had to do the math, and thought he was so old back then lol), he came down with pancreatitis and came very close to death. It was very painful, and he was so very sick, he didn't have the energy to move his head.
The doctors told him his alcoholism probably caused it, and Dad really didn't want that feeling ever again. So, he did quit drinking... for 17 months. Then he announced, "If this is living, I'd rather be dead," and went back to drinking.
He's been dry again for 13 months, but not by choice. He has Alzheimer and and 13 months ago he was talked into going into assisted living, and to get that, he had to go into detox first. There are so many reasons he might have gotten Alzheimer. This form of dementia says it wasn't from his drinking though.
We really can't make our love ones "act right." But, man! I so want to ask him to revisit that statement form so many years ago. "What was so wrong with living, that you'd rather be dead?"
I know the answer. He doesn't.
He lived without God.
The doctors told him his alcoholism probably caused it, and Dad really didn't want that feeling ever again. So, he did quit drinking... for 17 months. Then he announced, "If this is living, I'd rather be dead," and went back to drinking.
He's been dry again for 13 months, but not by choice. He has Alzheimer and and 13 months ago he was talked into going into assisted living, and to get that, he had to go into detox first. There are so many reasons he might have gotten Alzheimer. This form of dementia says it wasn't from his drinking though.
We really can't make our love ones "act right." But, man! I so want to ask him to revisit that statement form so many years ago. "What was so wrong with living, that you'd rather be dead?"
I know the answer. He doesn't.
He lived without God.
T
Many good reflections here.
And as I have only one relationship that was real, I can only speak of that.
I lost the attraction to him before we got married. It disapeared when I saw his face disolving when drunk. He was not him. He was a creature that was corrupted by alcohol. Still I married him. We had sex enough to get a child. And we enjoyed discovering, planning, preparing and eating meals together. We even made sausages and cured ham. We liked travelling. I would never have gone to China without him. He was mean, physically and psychologically abusive. He always preferred alcohol to me. But I stayed. Praying he would change and become his potential self. It came to a point it was time to leave, though. Not divorcing, but moving out. We divorced when he had found another woman to marry.
Attraction has nothing to do with love. And love is enduring everything. In my case I mistook love with the enduring itself.
One day I hope someone will love me enough to endure me, too.
And as I have only one relationship that was real, I can only speak of that.
I lost the attraction to him before we got married. It disapeared when I saw his face disolving when drunk. He was not him. He was a creature that was corrupted by alcohol. Still I married him. We had sex enough to get a child. And we enjoyed discovering, planning, preparing and eating meals together. We even made sausages and cured ham. We liked travelling. I would never have gone to China without him. He was mean, physically and psychologically abusive. He always preferred alcohol to me. But I stayed. Praying he would change and become his potential self. It came to a point it was time to leave, though. Not divorcing, but moving out. We divorced when he had found another woman to marry.
Attraction has nothing to do with love. And love is enduring everything. In my case I mistook love with the enduring itself.
One day I hope someone will love me enough to endure me, too.
M
I find as I get older, I notice the gray hair, wrinkles etc in others and find them
attractive.
Having said that I was never into the pretty boy look. I prefer more rugged,
a face with character, interesting noses, brooding eyes, also bald men as their
smile goes right up. Lol
Having said that longish hair is good too. Maybe something like this.
Or this
At my age most men resemble the first or second image
so im good. Lol
Problem is most men of my age don’t want a purple haired, doc Martin wearing,
saxophone playing nearly 50 year old! Who looks young enough to be their
daughter.
attractive.
Having said that I was never into the pretty boy look. I prefer more rugged,
a face with character, interesting noses, brooding eyes, also bald men as their
smile goes right up. Lol
Having said that longish hair is good too. Maybe something like this.
Or this
At my age most men resemble the first or second image
so im good. Lol
Problem is most men of my age don’t want a purple haired, doc Martin wearing,
saxophone playing nearly 50 year old! Who looks young enough to be their
daughter.