Should age matter in a relationship?.....

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LOLOKGal

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2015
774
89
28
#22
Tell me your views, thoughts, experiences :)

The youngest I’ve dated was 5 years younger than me but yet he was very mature, I would’ve been 25 at the time and he 19/20 years.

Does age matter?
Should it matter? (Obviously it would matter if you’re a minor).
[FONT=comic\ sans\ ms]I think the more appropriate question would be, "Are you equally yoke"? That's what matters most. The other stuff is just stuff you'll have to seek God about. :)

On a personal note... I was married to someone who was 19-years-older then I. :rolleyes: It was fun to get to know each other's differences and enjoy each other's likes from our growing up years. :eek:[/FONT]
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#23
A problem with dating too far from your age is a generational gap. There's a difference in people from each generation. You may have common interest but too far apart in age can cause waves because of things in time you have experienced and what events helped to form you into who you are. The other person wont be able to relate or understand. Gen X or older should steer clear of millinenials for example.. two completely different generations and upbringings.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#24
When I was 20 I dated and got engaged to a 31 year old woman. I certainly wasn't looking for anyone older, we just clicked. Obviously I never married, but my next gf I was 21 and she was 31. That went on for 10 years and I haven't dated anyone older since.

It seems the older you get the more ease and freedom there is in a bigger age gap. My parents were 14 years apart, but both out of their 20s, so the age difference wasn't really obvious. But 20 and 34, it seems, would be more obvious, even though both sets are the same age apart.
Really it varies. Different people, needs, maturity, expectations, etc...

If one does choose a broad age gap, though, I'd suggest putting a Lot of thought and prayer into it before moving forward, even into dating. And discuss things that will matter before starting a relationship to see if you're each on the same page and each able to fullful the needs and hopes of the other.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#25
But could you have something in common with someone younger or much older? For example, sharing the hobby of hunting, cars, art, playing an instrument etc?
Yes it certainly is a "possibility" for example some genders choose "older" ages to be in a relationship hoping for "maturity" and "goals" already set but it's no "guarantee" at "any age".
And of course "having something in common" isn't always "good" sometimes two people can be "too much alike" as Pipp was saying and Ugly and a few others,things such as "generation gaps or age gaps" can "make or break" a relationship,but with "similarities" it can be just as "important" because say you and someone you like have the "same mind set" concerning "goals" well you might end up "competing" with each other to accomplish the first goal the fastest which can be "good or bad" you can't rely necessarily on just "one thing" in common even concerning "religion".
I have heard it said many times that things like "being a Christian" matters the most in a relationship but well that's not necessarily the "first focus" excluding outstanding circumstances.(such as someone being in a cult)
The first focus should probably be on what you prefer in a relationship "primarily" could be religion,could be compatibility emotionally or personality wise and then of course after "entering a relationship" "pay close attention" to things possibly "changing" for example say you are Christian and the other person hasn't "decided" on their "belief yet" but then after the relationship begins for a time they "change their undecided status" it can be a "struggle" even if they choose "Christianity" because of "so many denominations" and what "you yourself can handle" or like wise who you are in a relationship can "handle".
 
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J

joefizz

Guest
#26
Tell me your views, thoughts, experiences :)

The youngest I’ve dated was 5 years younger than me but yet he was very mature, I would’ve been 25 at the time and he 19/20 years.

Does age matter?
Should it matter? (Obviously it would matter if you’re a minor).
I've answered a thread similar to this one and asking "should age matter in a relationship" is rather "vague" because depending on "which relationship" you are talking about this question can apply to nearly "every age" because a simple "relationship" can form between two of the opposite gender even as "toddlers" concerning a "love/crush" relationship" which is the "most common relationship" aside from "friend" relationships" the only other relationship being a "marital relationship" which depending on "age" or religion can be "likely" or unlikely,toddler age kids being promised to marriage is rather "unlikely" but not "unheard of" as shown in some movies(like Disney's sleeping beauty) where as marriage in higher ages is more "likely" because of even the individuals themselves thinking on "the idea of marriage".
Age certainly "does matter" but it "depends on the circumstance" probably best to "clarify" specifically which relationship you are "asking about".
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#27
Honestly it depends on the person. And of course they both need to be legal.
Yes of course concerning a "dating" relationship it is "difficult" to discern what relationship legal people "are ready" for a relationship or "not ready" everyone "matures emotionally and responsibly" at different levels some "faster than others" some "slower than others".
 
J

JB2018

Guest
#30
It depends on the couple. It can work if they are both mature....
 

seeking_2

Junior Member
Mar 31, 2018
2
0
0
#31
I remember once my best friend dated a girl. She was 19 he was 27. The level of maturity was off. He could not stand it. He was used to just doing things for himself and she had to keep asking dad. He felt weird about that.

I so I agree with others maturity and and an equal yoke.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#32
Red cars = *sick face*
Oh nooooooo.... we cannot be friends! :eek: :rolleyes:

(just kidding.... I think :rolleyes:... shiny red sports cars are to me like beautiful wedding dresses are to women...)
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,424
13,764
113
#33
The rule I heard is "half your age plus seven". However, as one gets older, that gets more creepy.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#34
Who knows? I mean, both my mother and my mother-in-law were married at age 14 to men in their early 20's. Then again, both were considered young ladies by that age. They were long out of pigtails and quit playing with dolls by the age of 12. They were hard workers, ironing, cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing clothes, helping their moms & grandmoms run the home & caring for the younger kids. They were well equipped to manage a household & take care of babies by the time they married as young teens.

I married at age 20 and my husband was close to my age. After he passed, I was asked out by a much, much younger guy. And even though it became a fantastic relationship, I was always too uptight about what everyone else was thinking, ya know? Nobody ever even made an issue of it, it was just all in my head. He would get so annoyed that it bothered me. I’m pretty sure I sabotaged that relationship due to my inability to get over my anxiety about our age difference. At any rate, we're now just long-distance acquaintances. He's my brother in Christ, everyone‘s happy and nobody’s heart is broken, bless God. :)

Honestly, I would never again get involved with a man who wasn’t near my age range. Not way younger, not way older. I want to be with someone to share common history, our adult kids & our grandchildren would be closer in age, we’d remember the same songs from when we were growing up, be knowledgeable about the same books & movies, just have a lot more in common to talk about and share, ya know? I think that’s extremely important. Well, for me it is anyway.

As for others, I couldn’t begin to say what’s best for them. It’s a personal heart & soul matter, for sure.