I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, girl. My heart ached as I read your posts, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you. Have you ever considered talking with a couple counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? Do you think your husband might consider going with you? I just said a prayer for you and your husband, and I hope that God will give you insight into the ways you may express love with each other and enable you both to serve one another in love. Please know that we all care about you and are here to support you. I know it’s not easy, but stay strong in the Lord. He is able to work mightily in the lives of our loved ones in answer to earnest prayer. Sending hugs & prayers your way!