What's Good for the Gander is Good for the Geese.

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

This is meant to be a humorous spin on the liveliest discussion we're currently having in singles.

* If makeup makes women look more feminine and less like men, what can men do in order to be more masculine (and in theory, prevent themselves from looking too much like women?)

All suggestions are welcome, whether serious or silly, but the general mood of the thread is meant to be funny.

Please, no insults or bashing--just honest discussion and some good clean fun. :)

I'll go first:

Guys, if you want to be more masculine and not look like a woman, Don't Mow the Lawn in Your Wife's Best Sunday Dress, ala Ned and Homer.

(Sorry I couldn't find a shorter clip--the real action starts at the very end of the clip, at about 3:40.)


How about everyone else?

* What are YOUR suggested "do's" and "don'ts" in order to be "masculine"?

Again, serious discussion is welcome, but the original intent is lighthearted humor, from both the ganders and the geeses alike. :)
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,125
30,255
113
#2


Surely shaving with an axe sends an unmistakable message of masculinity...



To avoid being mistaken for a woman, avoid wearing lipstick if at all possible...

 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
#4
Men should borrow a few beauty practices from women. It doesn't make you less of a man to have uncloged pores.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,698
9,624
113
#5
I thought all men could do was work out and build up muscles...

I remember a comic strip where a lady found out her father used bar soap on his hair. *gasp!* She was trying to convince him to use shampoo and conditioner. "Why?" Well don't you want to look good for your wife? "With her bad eyesight I doubt that she cares."

The elderly wife said, "He's right Sylvia. As long as he smells okay, I'm fine."

https://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2016/04/14
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#6
Well lots of facial hair will probably help people figure out you aren't a woman. Going shirtless while doing yard work or other stuff that might make you hot and sweaty is also a pretty good indicator that you aren't female. And being assertive and direct in your speech probably helps as well.

But from what I've heard these days it's more difficult for people to decide if they themselves are male or female than to know the biological sex of the person they're looking at most of the time.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
113
#7
Men should borrow a few beauty practices from women. It doesn't make you less of a man to have uncloged pores.
I have to agree with this one.

When I was in high school/early adulthood I had very problem skin, but spent a lot of time and money going through all the dermatologist-prescribed routines I was given in order to try to prevent, hide, and cover any flare-ups.

I have to confess feeling a little bitter, or maybe envious, that guys were accepted as-is, and seemingly not subjected to endless scrubs, creams, and treatments.

I'm not into vanity (whether male or female), but someone who actually puts a reasonable amount of effort into self-care (whatever their definition of it may be) is highly attractive (to me, at least.)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
113
#8
Guys, if you want to look less like a woman, please do not get a half-and-half haircut that is actually just a clumsy imitation of a a woman's haircut.

Observe:



Mullets.

They just don't work for anyone.

Not even the very prettiest of men.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#9
I don’t like it when a guy has prettier hair than me.

:(
 
R

RodB65

Guest
#11
Well, I know some guys that get pedicures, and that's their business. It's one of those things guys like to joke about at work. Personally, I can't handle someone touching my feet.

Now, one thing that happens to guys as they get older, is that the eyebrows and nose hair has to be maintained. Guys, if you haven't arrived at this moment yet, ... It's coming!
 
R

RodB65

Guest
#13
Now, as an aside, if I could get my hair to do it just one time, I would style it just like Gareth Bale of Real Madrid.
 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
#14
I thought all men could do was work out and build up muscles...
One of the best things a man can do is build some muscles. Women like a big chest and arms. I do push-ups and pull-ups every morning.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,094
3,196
113
#15
Same. And why do they get all the lovely long eyelashes?!
I've been told, or used to be told, I had nice, long lashes.
When younger sometimes my lashes would even brush against my glasses.
And when trying contacts my eyelashes kept getting in the way.
I've no idea how they are now since I don't pay attention.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,698
9,624
113
#17
Now, one thing that happens to guys as they get older, is that the eyebrows and nose hair has to be maintained. Guys, if you haven't arrived at this moment yet, ... It's coming!
But the older you get, the harder it is to find a reason to maintain it.

https://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2016/04/13

Transcript:
DAUGHTER: You wash your hair with a bar of SOAP?! No wonder your hair looks so dry! You need to use a good shampoo and conditioner, Dad.
FATHER: Why?
DAUGHTER: Why? Because then your hair would look nicer.
FATHER: Why should I care about that?
DAUGHTER: Well, because then, uhh...
FATHER: Stumped you, didn't I?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,177
113
#18
Well, I know some guys that get pedicures, and that's their business. It's one of those things guys like to joke about at work. Personally, I can't handle someone touching my feet.

Now, one thing that happens to guys as they get older, is that the eyebrows and nose hair has to be maintained. Guys, if you haven't arrived at this moment yet, ... It's coming!
I think that many men just don't like keeping up with those hairy struggles. I always think to myself, I wish they would, hahaha.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#19
I have to agree with this one.

When I was in high school/early adulthood I had very problem skin, but spent a lot of time and money going through all the dermatologist-prescribed routines I was given in order to try to prevent, hide, and cover any flare-ups.

I have to confess feeling a little bitter, or maybe envious, that guys were accepted as-is, and seemingly not subjected to endless scrubs, creams, and treatments.

I'm not into vanity (whether male or female), but someone who actually puts a reasonable amount of effort into self-care (whatever their definition of it may be) is highly attractive (to me, at least.)
You definitely have a point, my skin isn't super amazing or anything but i do try to keep my face moisturized and stuff. Same with my teeth I've seen some very......we'll say neglected teeth, usually on men. Why do girls have to spend 9 hours in the mirror to look pretty(you guys still need to learn to move just a tad bit faster) but guys just walk out the house completely oblivious? I don't think we should spend tons of time in the mirror but i mean effort? Please? Maybe I'm biased though i spend too much time on how i look sometimes, other times i could care less but it depends on the situation ig.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#20
One of the best things a man can do is build some muscles. Women like a big chest and arms. I do push-ups and pull-ups every morning.
*claps* good job bro, good job. I can't do pullups....not cuz I'm too weak but cuz i bought a pullup bar and it decided it didn't want to show up.....i have a dip bar though and i do push ups too. Squats are good too, I'd like to have legs that fit my torso. I'm not super buff though I'm trying to gain weight atm actually.