i think that being a single parent is a gift from God. He has blessed me with the two most wonderful kids i think i could ever ask for. However being a single mother is quit difficult at times, I stilll am happy that God leeft these two kids for me to care for and no one else. They make you realize what life really is about and how preciious life really is..
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I
I am a single mother to two beautiful teens 17 and 14 both in Christian Schools. I agree when I thibnk God says he will NEVER give us more than we can handle and I have my moments with my teens... I am reminded of how strong God believes I am. It is a gift. I am blessed and greatful God has entrusted such precious gems to my life. The greatest compliment is when they themselves are my age and raising they're own kids to love God as much as I do! and I pray they do! GOD BLESS ALL SINGLE MOMS AND DADS OUT HERE!
L
Speaking from experience, there are some good men out there, and yes they do date single parents. I'm testimony to one. I became a single parent after my husband was unfaithful and married someone else. Six years later, God brought me a wonderful Christian man, and our 4th wedding anniversary is coming up on April 30.
It's all in God's hands.
It's all in God's hands.
Well what is sexualy active?
iv held hands, hugged, kissed put my hand on a girls chest, but none more.
and i know a leprocoin, smaal irish guy with lots freckels n orange hair.
And no need for your sarcasum of "good luck with that"
it may take me till next year or 2 years or 5 years but shes out there somewhere.
iv held hands, hugged, kissed put my hand on a girls chest, but none more.
and i know a leprocoin, smaal irish guy with lots freckels n orange hair.
And no need for your sarcasum of "good luck with that"
it may take me till next year or 2 years or 5 years but shes out there somewhere.
auchin, i was NOT asking you what you have done sexually....... to much information kiddo!! i was saying are you gonna walk up to a woman you would potentially date and ask her if shes a virgin before you date her..... and i was not being sarcastic when i said "good luck with that" im completely serious
I don't mean to sound cruel at all, and it's my hope you don't take my comments that way...so please bear that in mind.
I can only speak for myself on this issue, and my position is this: I strongly doubt I would be comfortable marrying someone who already has children. The reason wouldn't be due to anyone's fault, but rather the fact that I'm simply not ready for that responsibility at this point in my life. Marrying a single parent essentially means I would inherit (partial) duty as a stepfather, and that's simply not something I want right now. I don't think I'd be any good at being any kind of parent, at least for the not-too-distant future.
Speaking more generally, I think this is one reason why many men recoil at the idea of dating a woman who already has young kids at home. We're barely adjusting to the idea of settling down with any woman at all, and then the notion of her already being a mother hits us right in the heart...it's not something that's easy to fathom or accept for many men...especially if they have a pre-existing fear of commitment in the first place. We start to think to ourselves, "She's asking me to be a husband, and also a father at the same time, to a child who isn't mine...I don't like this." It may be a selfish thought, but it's one I believe almost all men focus on at some point.
I can only speak for myself on this issue, and my position is this: I strongly doubt I would be comfortable marrying someone who already has children. The reason wouldn't be due to anyone's fault, but rather the fact that I'm simply not ready for that responsibility at this point in my life. Marrying a single parent essentially means I would inherit (partial) duty as a stepfather, and that's simply not something I want right now. I don't think I'd be any good at being any kind of parent, at least for the not-too-distant future.
Speaking more generally, I think this is one reason why many men recoil at the idea of dating a woman who already has young kids at home. We're barely adjusting to the idea of settling down with any woman at all, and then the notion of her already being a mother hits us right in the heart...it's not something that's easy to fathom or accept for many men...especially if they have a pre-existing fear of commitment in the first place. We start to think to ourselves, "She's asking me to be a husband, and also a father at the same time, to a child who isn't mine...I don't like this." It may be a selfish thought, but it's one I believe almost all men focus on at some point.
F
I am a single parent myself of 2 beautiful children. They are the life of my life. And after a divorce and the father basically out of the picture, I kept trying to find this right Godly man and thinking that my children need a good father. For 4 years I experienced heartache because I kept trying on my own to enter a relationship again. When the relationship didn't work out, I started to questioned myself, thinking that maybe I was not good enough for any man, thinking what was wrong with me and all these wrong thoughts.
The thing that I forgot that, there is nothing wrong with me, there is nothing wrong with being a single mom or dad because some circumstances in the past (a mistake or not a mistake). I forgot that if the relationship did not work out then he is not the one. Because if he is the one, then he wouldn't run off just because off one circumstances.
I dated a single dad before with 2 beautiful children himself. As much as we tried to make it work, it didn't work. It was just so many aspects into it more than just a date. We had different perspective on how to raise our children and how we few things in life. At times, I felt hurt and rejected when the relationship didn't work out. But when I see it now from a better perspective, I thank God that we didn't continue. I thank God that He saved me from another mistake that might happen in the future if we were to continue to persue it.
Now after so many times being in a wrong relationship, I can clearly see that God's timing is perfect and it is never too late or too soon. That when we wait on Him, He would save us from unnecessary heartache of wrong relationship. I can clearly see that being a Christian and finding a Christian mate is not just it. It is more than that. We have to be on the same page otherrwise it would be antoher mess. And to be on that same page it takes time for God to prepare you and that person. God can see our hearts and He moulds us to get to the point where He wants us to be and it doesn't happen over night. It takes time and patience just like He has patience with us. And when the time is right, He will bring you and that person together because He knows that you two are ready, that you two are equally yoked.
So do not get discourage with the situation that you are in right now. Do not worry about what people think about single parents and why they might not want to date single parents. One think that I know, God can make the impossible possible. Even with the mess that we made, He will not judge us and He will not leave us abandoned. He just needs time to work on us and to completely heal us from previous heartache so that we are ready. God bless!!!
The thing that I forgot that, there is nothing wrong with me, there is nothing wrong with being a single mom or dad because some circumstances in the past (a mistake or not a mistake). I forgot that if the relationship did not work out then he is not the one. Because if he is the one, then he wouldn't run off just because off one circumstances.
I dated a single dad before with 2 beautiful children himself. As much as we tried to make it work, it didn't work. It was just so many aspects into it more than just a date. We had different perspective on how to raise our children and how we few things in life. At times, I felt hurt and rejected when the relationship didn't work out. But when I see it now from a better perspective, I thank God that we didn't continue. I thank God that He saved me from another mistake that might happen in the future if we were to continue to persue it.
Now after so many times being in a wrong relationship, I can clearly see that God's timing is perfect and it is never too late or too soon. That when we wait on Him, He would save us from unnecessary heartache of wrong relationship. I can clearly see that being a Christian and finding a Christian mate is not just it. It is more than that. We have to be on the same page otherrwise it would be antoher mess. And to be on that same page it takes time for God to prepare you and that person. God can see our hearts and He moulds us to get to the point where He wants us to be and it doesn't happen over night. It takes time and patience just like He has patience with us. And when the time is right, He will bring you and that person together because He knows that you two are ready, that you two are equally yoked.
So do not get discourage with the situation that you are in right now. Do not worry about what people think about single parents and why they might not want to date single parents. One think that I know, God can make the impossible possible. Even with the mess that we made, He will not judge us and He will not leave us abandoned. He just needs time to work on us and to completely heal us from previous heartache so that we are ready. God bless!!!
C
Well i am now a single mother and i have 4 children. My oldest two's father, who i was in a relationship with for 5 years, was unfaithful so i left. I then met a man who was great and we started dating then after awhile i brought the kids into the relationship and he loved them and they loved him. He took them on as his own even though there father was still in their lives. We then had 2 more children and he never treated the older 2 any differently from his own. There is deffinately men out there who are more than willing to take on children as part of a relationship. It is a huge responsibility for the guy and im sure not all men could do it but there are some out there who can. I am now back in the same boat as my husband has now passed away so one day i will be looking for love again and i only hope i can find someone who can do the same....
S
Hello, I am a single father of one. I also am a late starter. I had my first, and only at 43. I do find it hard to meet ladys because of this. First of all, my age, Most girls my age have now have raised thiers, and want a kid free life. Bummer thier loss. And younger girls just seem young. I don't feel age is a big factor, and am still looking. I have sole coustdy, and His mother lives 2 thousand miles away. We live in Colorado. It would be nice to find a lady that belives in God and knows Jesus. It just seems like even this is hard to find. Some will say thay believe, But thier walk isnt there. And again, After they find out that I have a 5 year old it's like I have a growth,lol. I love my son, and would like to have female influance for him. I'm not looking for a mother, just the female touch in his young life. He is/was a promise from God that took 10 years to come to pass. I know God has his time, and His time is perfect. I miss companionship and pray to find what God has for me. I want it to be right, I don't want to go from one relationship to another. That is not the way I want my son to see life, or to think that is life. I hope that you all find the right one, Gods' one for you. I know that there is one out there for us all.
L
As a single parent myself i find the hard part is "filtering" who your kid or kids see you with,and how often this mistake gets made over and over....That for me personaly is not a problem but i see this problem with others.For me thats the hard part when is it ok to introduce kids ,,,hmmm careful with this..Good luck with everything...
B
Speaking as a single mother of four, yes, I said four, I find it is very difficult meeting someone who is ultimately interested in you as a whole. And as a whole, I am referring to myself as a whole package which includes all four of my children as well. Some prospects might say, no, they don't have a problem with children, but, do they really know what it's like to be a parent?? It's not all just fun and games as you parents out there will agree. It is a responsibility all on it's own. From my past dating experience, which I have given up on (because I have come to realize that all I need is God), I have found that it is best to date others who are single parents as well. Not saying that singles without kids wouldn't make a great companion, they just don't understand all of the ramifications that go along with being a parent and you may end up with taking on another child(meaning them), which will only add more stress to your life. When you have children, it changes you in a way that cannot be explained. The added responsiblity of raising kids, makes you grow tremendously as a person. So, I hope that my response may be of some help to you. Just keep praying to the Lord and the right person will come when the time is right.
K
I became a single parent when my 2 children where 9 and 13. Thier mother decided that she didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I fought the instant desire to run away. I remember all the crazy stuff that was going through my mind at the time. I remember telling my 9 year old daughter that even though I wasn't going to be living in the same house as her, I was still her daddy and always would be. I worked very hard at putting my children first. Thier mother did her best to hurt me using them as pawns. I put away my hurt feelings and concentrated on just being there for them when they needed me, no matter how inconvenient it was. As fate would have it, God was working behind the sceen and I ended up with sole custady. I didn't fight for them in a court but rather with love and patients. It has been over ten years since that time. My daught is 19 and my son is 23. I have a wonderful relationship with them and have even come to have a friendly relationship with thier mother. If you find yourself against it and all seems overwelming. Keep the faith and find the love in your heart. There are good men in this world who know thier resposiablity and put thier children ahead of selfish wants.
O
This is the exact question I was going to ask, but im sure Lee put it a lot better than i could. It is very true, i can't find anyone that won't flee when i mention a kid, Im a very timid, fun-loving person just looking for a decent guy to not only be my boyfriend but to be a responsible father to my newborn son. He deserves the best not someone who drinks and partys all the time. I haven't seen very many ppl from the Niagara Region on here though
W
Hello to all! Interesting chat going here. I have been a divorced mother of 3 for ...oh...about 8 years. Dating is tricky with kids that is for sure. You really need to keep your inner ear open to what God tells you. Watch for the warning signs. Try to stay away from people who predominately live in the flesh and want what they want regardless of where you need to be spiritually. Be specific in prayer with God regarding the type of person you want to meet. Yes...I have learned a few hard lessons along the way...but I am a better stronger person in Christ because of it. Always remember...we are only the co-pilots!!!lol. God has the last say always!
When it comes to prefererence, everybody has their own criteria that they are looking for. If someone doesn't fit yours, count them amongst your friends. If you don't fit someone elses criteria, don't let it get you down or make you feel unworthy...we are all worthy! People are just particular at times and this day and age calls for us to be CAREFUL with our hearts. As parents we have to be careful with what our children see and hear. I have dated and had a couple of boyfriends a long the way, and I didn't really involve my kids so much because I have to know they are in it for the kids too, and I haven't found that yet. So yea...we have to be sheilds for our kids. It is a hard gig sometimes and I go for long periods of time where I just don't even get my toes wet in the dating world. Not that I give up, I just re-assess my criteria, and myself to see if I am on the straight and narrow with Christ or am I wanting just what isn't good for me or my kids. Christian only is the way to go, obviously as you want to be equally yoked.
Most of all, just pray about it!!! God will show you the path. Good luck girlie!
When it comes to prefererence, everybody has their own criteria that they are looking for. If someone doesn't fit yours, count them amongst your friends. If you don't fit someone elses criteria, don't let it get you down or make you feel unworthy...we are all worthy! People are just particular at times and this day and age calls for us to be CAREFUL with our hearts. As parents we have to be careful with what our children see and hear. I have dated and had a couple of boyfriends a long the way, and I didn't really involve my kids so much because I have to know they are in it for the kids too, and I haven't found that yet. So yea...we have to be sheilds for our kids. It is a hard gig sometimes and I go for long periods of time where I just don't even get my toes wet in the dating world. Not that I give up, I just re-assess my criteria, and myself to see if I am on the straight and narrow with Christ or am I wanting just what isn't good for me or my kids. Christian only is the way to go, obviously as you want to be equally yoked.
Most of all, just pray about it!!! God will show you the path. Good luck girlie!
I
PS/ If a man runs cause he hears the words: single mom with kid(s)... and runs....Then one he doesn't deserve you, and two he isn't much of a REAL man of God... You should tie up your sneakers and RUN!!! Oh, and watch out for the ones that don't care, say they're seperated and in the process of a divorced (they're only looking to fool around , usually) and want sex so they will feed you whatever bunk it takes to get you there. You will know if he is really a man of God if first he seeks the kingdom of heaven and is respectful of what God wants for you and your kids... Goes to Church faithfully and loves God first and foremost! BUT that's just my opinion...
V
I am 33 and a single mum to 2 boys 2 1/2 and almost 8, up until about 6months ago i was married and living a good wholesome life with my husband and kids, we were all involved with our local church community and having a good time. 6 months ago i found out that my beloved husband was involved with another woman behind my back so i divorced him because he was committing adultery , Not all single parents choose to be single, sometimes we become single through no fault of our own. I am considering dating again but after i have had a chance to be own my own i got married at 22 and before then i lived with my parents so this is the first time ive been on my own. When i do start dating again i will consider only dating single fathers with kids as i seriously doubt that single men without kids would understand .
V
can i just say like, my mum has basically raised my little brother and myself alone, other than the help of some of her very close friends my father has never really been invovled. i must say that now being 20 and having been through counselling because of the anger i felt with my dad i am so glad because if my dad had not walked out on us as much, even now he still does it i would not under any circumstance have the same relationship i can guarentee. im not saying being a single parent isnt hard i know it is and especially from the childs point of view, im lucky that my mum became a stay at home mum but it hasnt been without its hardship. and yes there usually is a father out there of that child but i feel certianally towards my own that he didnt do enough to fight for me, to make me want to be his daddy's girl. i know i wont have the relationship with him as i do my mum but my mum is amazing as i have grown up i have learned to appreciate her more. i really want to encourage all you single mums and dads you do your children a great service and if it wasnt for you some of us wouldnt be the same i know i wouldnt so praise God for all of you. keep going and keep believing! God bless you all!!