CRA Christians in Recovery (anonymous)

calibob · Apr 30, 2019

From Dual Recovery Anonymous& Alcoholics Anonymous Subject; Medications and recovery. here's the straight scoop.>

"Medications and Recovery

D.R.A. members often go to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings for additional support and fellowship. Often men and women who have been diagnosed with a dual disorder say that they have received misguided advice about their diagnosis and the use of medication at other Twelve Step meetings. Some have been told that they do not have an emotional or psychiatric illness, and that they are experiencing merely self-pity or some other character defect "You don't need those pills; they'll cause you more problems" and "If you're taking pills, then you're in relapse and not really sober". Individuals who have followed such advice have experienced relapse: some have been hospitalized; some have returned to alcohol or drug use; some have attempted or even completed suicide. To say the least, it can be very confusing. Though we can not speak for other organizations, their literature makes clear that these types of statements are not the official position of A.A., N.A., or any other Twelve Step recovery groups that we are aware of." (c.o. Dual Recovery Anonymous World Network Central Office.)

On page 133 of the Big Book of A.A. it says in part:

"Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanishing in a twinkling we are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any dissipation.

But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward."

Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous, with permission of
A.A. World services, Inc.

Magenta · Apr 30, 2019

calibob · Apr 30, 2019

Atta Girl! Thank you for sharing your prayer.

Jen1167 · May 1, 2019

These posts are pretty old. I'm not sure if I belong here but I wanted to talk about my issues. I have been very depressed lately and for about the last 3 months I drink every night. Sometimes all day. It depends what's going on. So for those of you who have struggled do you think I have a problem?

Magenta · May 1, 2019

Jen1167 said:

What we think is not as important as what you think, especially if your thinking affects your emotional state, which then determines your actions. Drinking all day and every night certainly suggests you have a problem, which your drinking may only be a symptom of. You say you are depressed, but do not say about what. Again, the what may not be important, because the problem in connection with life's circumstances is our inability to live life on life's terms. I am not suggesting it is always easy, but it is certainly a less bumpy ride when we live in acceptance and surrender, acknowledging our powerlessness and inability to manage our own lives. That is where God comes in... Do you have a church home, or any support groups you attend? If not, I would encourage you to seek some out

calibob · May 1, 2019

Jen1167 said:

These posts were from tonight, 241, 242 & 243. If you are drinking at depression yes there is a problem. I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed and an alcoholic. But I'm recovering now. Depression triggers substance abuse, conversely substance abuse triggers depression. It's a vicious circle both need to be dealt with at the same time. Don't cheat or lie to yourself. you are worth more than what's holding you back. Help is free for the asking. This string has been going day and night for 32 days now. Seek help if you can and keep coming back, it works!

calibob · May 1, 2019

The Ninth step.>

9.) We made direct amends for our misdeeds and misbehaviors to those we had harmed, unless in so doing we would cause further harm to them or others.

Matthew 5:23, 24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." (NIV)

Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”

The motivation of the ninth step is to repair relationships in an honest and direct way. We must be willing to make amends properly and directly. It's not easy, it requires responsibility and work. We must make every honest attempt to go to the people we have cheated or in any way harmed due to our disease or inability to live life on life's terms. This includes paying restitution as owed. We may need to humble ourselves as necessary and apologize. Weather they accept it and or forgive us is not our responsibility. We must however make an HONEST attempt to do so.

Bingo · May 1, 2019

Jen1167 said:

"Thanks for sharing. This is as good as it gets within CC to share ones personal life concerns.
First, any 'thinking' that alcohol and or/drugs are the solution to cope with life difficulties, you
are only fooling ones own self...it will usually double your perceived problem issue. Only you
know of the cause of your feelings and emotions. Whatever it may be, with all honesty, one
should earnestly strive to confront and work at eliminating or accepting things that you feel
are causing the mental anguish. This should be of utmost concern, obviously you have a problem,
please don't expect alcohol to be your answer...you are your own answer, and hopefully a renewed
look at your spiritual relation with God...His 'presence' can and will give you new hope, strength
and peace and well being...try it...you might like it! "........

Magenta · May 1, 2019

Hamarr said:

Hello Hamarr, thank you for this very insightful post

I do have several characteristics of being brought up in such a family. Though alcohol was not the problem, it was present, especially at large families dos such as Christmas or Easter, when it was not unusual for our house to have almost thirty extra people in it for the holiday, and for dinner... and the uncles especially were known to get quite drunk by the end of the night. My dad came from a family larger than the one he had himself, and he had a lot of brothers

CoDA is where I first worked the steps in earnest, after first getting clean in 1994. I had been attending Emotions Anonymous off and on since the end of 1988 after reading about it in Ann Landers, which was a daily advice column run in our local newspaper. It did not identify any specific problem/symptom like other programs did (such as the use of drugs or alcohol), and was a good introduction for me to the 12 step program in general, and also opened the door, so to speak, to my eventually attending AA, where I went to meetings just to listen to people share long before I put down the mind and mood altering substances. For the first eighteen months of my sobriety, I did not say I was an alcoholic or addict, either, but would instead admit my powerlessness

I had known I was powerless for a long time. Some people say they have trouble admitting their powerlessness. Isn't it interesting how we all come at the problem from different angles?

Magenta · May 1, 2019

Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior.

The following is a list of symptoms of codependency and being in a codependent relationship.

You don’t need to have them all to qualify as codependent.

Low self-esteem.
Feeling that you’re not good enough or comparing yourself to others are signs of low self-esteem.

The tricky thing about self-esteem is that some people think highly of themselves, but it’s only a disguise — they actually feel unlovable or inadequate. Underneath, usually hidden from consciousness, are feelings of shame. Guilt and perfectionism often go along with low self-esteem. If everything is perfect, you don’t feel bad about yourself.

People-pleasing.
It’s fine to want to please someone you care about, but codependents usually don’t think they have a choice. Saying “No” causes them anxiety. Some codependents have a hard time saying “No” to anyone. They go out of their way and sacrifice their own needs to accommodate other people.

Poor boundaries.
Boundaries are sort of an imaginary line between you and others. It divides up what’s yours and somebody else’s, and that applies not only to your body, money, and belongings, but also to your feelings, thoughts and needs.

That’s especially where codependents get into trouble. They have blurry or weak boundaries. They feel responsible for other people’s feelings and problems or blame their own on someone else.

Some codependents have rigid boundaries. They are closed off and withdrawn, making it hard for other people to get close to them. Sometimes, people flip back and forth between having weak boundaries and having rigid ones.

Reactivity.
A consequence of poor boundaries is that you react to everyone’s thoughts and feelings. If someone says something you disagree with, you either believe it or become defensive. You absorb their words, because there’s no boundary. With a boundary, you’d realize it was just their opinion and not a reflection of you and not feel threatened by disagreements.

Caretaking.
Another effect of poor boundaries is that if someone else has a problem, you want to help them to the point that you give up yourself. It’s natural to feel empathy and sympathy for someone, but codependents start putting other people ahead of themselves. In fact, they need to help and might feel rejected if another person doesn’t want help. Moreover, they keep trying to help and fix the other person, even when that person clearly isn’t taking their advice.

Control.
Control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Everyone needs some control over events in their life. You wouldn’t want to live in constant uncertainty and chaos, but for codependents, control limits their ability to take risks and share their feelings. Sometimes they have an addiction that either helps them loosen up, like alcoholism, or helps them hold their feelings down, like workaholism, so that they don’t feel out of control.

Codependents also need to control those close to them, because they need other people to behave in a certain way to feel okay. In fact, people-pleasing and care-taking can be used to control and manipulate people. Alternatively, codependents are bossy and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. This is a violation of someone else’s boundary.

Dysfunctional communication.
Codependents have trouble when it comes to communicating their thoughts, feelings and needs. Of course, if you don’t know what you think, feel or need, this becomes a problem. Other times, you know, but you won’t own up to your truth. You’re afraid to be truthful, because you don’t want to upset someone else. Instead of saying, “I don’t like that,” you might pretend that it’s okay or tell someone what to do. Communication becomes dishonest and confusing when you try to manipulate the other person out of fear.

Obsessions.
Codependents have a tendency to spend their time thinking about other people or relationships. This is caused by their dependency and anxieties and fears. They can also become obsessed when they think they’ve made or might make a “mistake.” Sometimes you can lapse into fantasy about how you’d like things to be or about someone you love as a way to avoid the pain of the present. This is one way to stay in denial, discussed below, but it keeps you from living your life.

Dependency.
Codependents need other people to like them to feel okay about themselves. They’re afraid of being rejected or abandoned, even if they can function on their own. Others need always to be in a relationship, because they feel depressed or lonely when they’re by themselves for too long. This trait makes it hard for them to end a relationship, even when the relationship is painful or abusive. They end up feeling trapped.

Denial.
One of the problems people face in getting help for codependency is that they’re in denial about it, meaning that they don’t face their problem. Usually they think the problem is someone else or the situation. They either keep complaining or trying to fix the other person, or go from one relationship or job to another and never own up the fact that they have a problem. Codependents also deny their feelings and needs. Often, they don’t know what they’re feeling and are instead focused on what others are feeling. The same thing goes for their needs. They pay attention to other people’s needs and not their own. They might be in denial of their need for space and autonomy. Although some codependents seem needy, others act like they’re self-sufficient when it comes to needing help. They won’t reach out and have trouble receiving. They are in denial of their vulnerability and need for love and intimacy.

Problems with intimacy.
By this I’m not referring to sex, although sexual dysfunction often is a reflection of an intimacy problem. I’m talking about being open and close with someone in an intimate relationship. Because of the shame and weak boundaries, you might fear that you’ll be judged, rejected, or left. On the other hand, you may fear being smothered in a relationship and losing your autonomy. You might deny your need for closeness and feel that your partner wants too much of your time; your partner complains that you’re unavailable, but he or she is denying his or her need for separateness.

Painful emotions.
Codependency creates stress and leads to painful emotions. Shame and low self-esteem create anxiety and fear about being judged, rejected or abandoned; making mistakes; being a failure; feeling trapped by being close or being alone. The other symptoms lead to feelings of anger and resentment, depression, hopelessness, and despair. When the feelings are too much, you can feel numb.

Source

calibob · May 1, 2019

Bingo said:

Magenta said:

Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior.

The following is a list of symptoms of codependency and being in a codependent relationship.

You don’t need to have them all to qualify as codependent.

Low self-esteem.
Feeling that you’re not good enough or comparing yourself to others are signs of low self-esteem.

The tricky thing about self-esteem is that some people think highly of themselves, but it’s only a disguise — they actually feel unlovable or inadequate. Underneath, usually hidden from consciousness, are feelings of shame. Guilt and perfectionism often go along with low self-esteem. If everything is perfect, you don’t feel bad about yourself.

People-pleasing.
It’s fine to want to please someone you care about, but codependents usually don’t think they have a choice. Saying “No” causes them anxiety. Some codependents have a hard time saying “No” to anyone. They go out of their way and sacrifice their own needs to accommodate other people.

Poor boundaries.
Boundaries are sort of an imaginary line between you and others. It divides up what’s yours and somebody else’s, and that applies not only to your body, money, and belongings, but also to your feelings, thoughts and needs.

That’s especially where codependents get into trouble. They have blurry or weak boundaries. They feel responsible for other people’s feelings and problems or blame their own on someone else.

Some codependents have rigid boundaries. They are closed off and withdrawn, making it hard for other people to get close to them. Sometimes, people flip back and forth between having weak boundaries and having rigid ones.

Reactivity.
A consequence of poor boundaries is that you react to everyone’s thoughts and feelings. If someone says something you disagree with, you either believe it or become defensive. You absorb their words, because there’s no boundary. With a boundary, you’d realize it was just their opinion and not a reflection of you and not feel threatened by disagreements.

Caretaking.
Another effect of poor boundaries is that if someone else has a problem, you want to help them to the point that you give up yourself. It’s natural to feel empathy and sympathy for someone, but codependents start putting other people ahead of themselves. In fact, they need to help and might feel rejected if another person doesn’t want help. Moreover, they keep trying to help and fix the other person, even when that person clearly isn’t taking their advice.

Control.
Control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Everyone needs some control over events in their life. You wouldn’t want to live in constant uncertainty and chaos, but for codependents, control limits their ability to take risks and share their feelings. Sometimes they have an addiction that either helps them loosen up, like alcoholism, or helps them hold their feelings down, like workaholism, so that they don’t feel out of control.

Codependents also need to control those close to them, because they need other people to behave in a certain way to feel okay. In fact, people-pleasing and care-taking can be used to control and manipulate people. Alternatively, codependents are bossy and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. This is a violation of someone else’s boundary.

Dysfunctional communication.
Codependents have trouble when it comes to communicating their thoughts, feelings and needs. Of course, if you don’t know what you think, feel or need, this becomes a problem. Other times, you know, but you won’t own up to your truth. You’re afraid to be truthful, because you don’t want to upset someone else. Instead of saying, “I don’t like that,” you might pretend that it’s okay or tell someone what to do. Communication becomes dishonest and confusing when you try to manipulate the other person out of fear.

Obsessions.
Codependents have a tendency to spend their time thinking about other people or relationships. This is caused by their dependency and anxieties and fears. They can also become obsessed when they think they’ve made or might make a “mistake.” Sometimes you can lapse into fantasy about how you’d like things to be or about someone you love as a way to avoid the pain of the present. This is one way to stay in denial, discussed below, but it keeps you from living your life.

Dependency.
Codependents need other people to like them to feel okay about themselves. They’re afraid of being rejected or abandoned, even if they can function on their own. Others need always to be in a relationship, because they feel depressed or lonely when they’re by themselves for too long. This trait makes it hard for them to end a relationship, even when the relationship is painful or abusive. They end up feeling trapped.

Denial.
One of the problems people face in getting help for codependency is that they’re in denial about it, meaning that they don’t face their problem. Usually they think the problem is someone else or the situation. They either keep complaining or trying to fix the other person, or go from one relationship or job to another and never own up the fact that they have a problem. Codependents also deny their feelings and needs. Often, they don’t know what they’re feeling and are instead focused on what others are feeling. The same thing goes for their needs. They pay attention to other people’s needs and not their own. They might be in denial of their need for space and autonomy. Although some codependents seem needy, others act like they’re self-sufficient when it comes to needing help. They won’t reach out and have trouble receiving. They are in denial of their vulnerability and need for love and intimacy.

Problems with intimacy.
By this I’m not referring to sex, although sexual dysfunction often is a reflection of an intimacy problem. I’m talking about being open and close with someone in an intimate relationship. Because of the shame and weak boundaries, you might fear that you’ll be judged, rejected, or left. On the other hand, you may fear being smothered in a relationship and losing your autonomy. You might deny your need for closeness and feel that your partner wants too much of your time; your partner complains that you’re unavailable, but he or she is denying his or her need for separateness.

Painful emotions.
Codependency creates stress and leads to painful emotions. Shame and low self-esteem create anxiety and fear about being judged, rejected or abandoned; making mistakes; being a failure; feeling trapped by being close or being alone. The other symptoms lead to feelings of anger and resentment, depression, hopelessness, and despair. When the feelings are too much, you can feel numb.

Source

Thank you all for sharing. There's no substitute for family which is what we became in Christ. Some however don't understand unity but through the 12 step program we do. Many have found the Lord through the program which makes perfect sense because the program began Christ centered and we are not ashamed to use it to glorify his name, thank him for his mercy and follow in his footsteps praising the one and only true higher power. Jesus of Nazareth the real King of Kings! Praise the Lord, Selah!

Deade · May 1, 2019

Hello gang,my name is Dennis and I am an alcoholic. My start in life was rocky, as best. Here is my story of my early years.

I was born in Los Angeles, CA, USA in 1946. They tore down the hospital, I was born in, within a year; to put in the first freeway: the Harbor Freeway. My father died 6 months before I was born in Nov. ’45, from kidney failure. My older sister died 1 month before I was born, from being hit by a car. That left 2 brothers and my mother. She bought an unfinished home in the Watts district of L.A. (South Central).

While carrying me, she was in 3 car wrecks and was shot full of morphine each time. I was born asthmatic and anemic. Every time I got around lint or dust my breathing would lock up. My mother thought she would go crazy and became convinced she was going to die. She took us three boys down to a Catholic church and had us baptized to gain some god-parents. My mother said she never bonded with me as she couldn’t take it if she did and I died.

Meanwhile, my maternal grandmother bought the house next door to ours. She had 11 kids she raised and 8 were still living at home. Luckily, there were 2 teenage aunts living there that kind of took over mothering me.

14 people living in 2 2-bedroom homes, talk about fun. It gets worse: in 1948 my oldest aunt in Indiana died and her 5 kids moved in with us. These were big kids, two of the oldest were older than two of the youngest uncles next door. The two oldest cousins living with us were female, so they took over mothering me. The two aunts that had the job were dating and getting ready for marriage. As some of the aunts and uncles were moving out on their own, the two youngest cousins move in with Grandma.

By my third year, I was doing well and getting over my asthma. Things were starting to get more normal with me. My next oldest brother, David, was 2 years older than me and the closest human being relationship I had. I followed him everywhere. One day we were playing in the backyard. I was sitting on some bed springs right behind the house and David was about 20 feet away playing with some matches. He walked up to an abandoned old Model T pickup without a gas cap. He held up a lit match toward the open gas spout and asked: “should I?” Dumb me, I just shrugged my shoulders. He dropped the match and when the fumes caught the flame it was like a blow torch. His shirt and hair caught afire and he ran out of the backyard. My male cousin was with a couple of uncles, they were building a tandem bicycle beside the house. The cousin ran after David and rolled him to put out the fire. The last time I saw him, he was all black and whimpering on my mother’s lap waiting on the ambulance. Needless to say, I started suffering from PTSD from that day forward. I don’t even think that was classified as yet, but that is what it was. [Continued]

Deade · May 1, 2019

I could not talk about my brother's death until I got older. Even being born with a chemical imbalance, I was a bright kid. Reading and school was easy for me. During those first 11 years I was an annoying brat. I cared not whose feelings I stepped on. I would steal and cheat whenever I could gain something. I start stealing and smoking cigarettes at 10.

At 12, I was just coming out of my PTSD from watching my closest friend and brother burn to death at 5 years old, I was 3. Once I starting to talk about the incident, which was very hard at first, I healed little by little. I earnestly sought God from 12 to 14 years old. I was really looking for a man to follow while he sought Jesus. I looked around and found none that applied the word perfectly to his life. I became disillusioned and gave up. God's word has an anointing on it. Even though I became agnostic, the word did change me.

I was just a social drinker until I had a spinal fusion back surgery. I had a pinched nerve in my back and my legs kept buckling under me. When they winged me off the opiates I turned to alcohol to relieve the pain, I was 33. Once you need a drink instead of wanting one, you set yourself up for alcoholism. From 33 to 38 it was a roller coaster ride that led me to divorce and remarriage. I realized my problem was spiritual and I still somewhat believed in God. Needing off that alcohol dependence I finally replaced it with the Lord. You can follow that story in my "Coming to Jesus" blog.

calibob · May 1, 2019

Deade said:

I could not talk about my brother's death until I got older. Even being born with a chemical imbalance, I was a bright kid. Reading and school was easy for me. During those first 11 years I was an annoying brat. I cared not whose feelings I stepped on. I would steal and cheat whenever I could gain something. I start stealing and smoking cigarettes at 10.

At 12, I was just coming out of my PTSD from watching my closest friend and brother burn to death at 5 years old, I was 3. Once I starting to talk about the incident, which was very hard at first, I healed little by little. I earnestly sought God from 12 to 14 years old. I was really looking for a man to follow while he sought Jesus. I looked around and found none that applied the word perfectly to his life. I became disillusioned and gave up. God's word has an anointing on it. Even though I became agnostic, the word did change me.

I was just a social drinker until I had a spinal fusion back surgery. I had a pinched nerve in my back and my legs kept buckling under me. When they winged me off the opiates I turned to alcohol to relieve the pain, I was 33. Once you need a drink instead of wanting one, you set yourself up for alcoholism. From 33 to 38 it was a roller coaster ride that led me to divorce and remarriage. I realized my problem was spiritual and I still somewhat believed in God. Needing off that alcohol dependence I finally replaced it with the Lord. You can follow that story in my "Coming to Jesus" blog.

Thank you for sharing Dennis. As always you are an asset to our community and an inspiration as well. I'm calibob, this meeting is still open. If anyone feels a need or desire to share we are listening. We are Christians in Recovery, we never quit and we never close!

Bingo · May 1, 2019

Deade said:

I could not talk about my brother's death until I got older. Even being born with a chemical imbalance, I was a bright kid. Reading and school was easy for me. During those first 11 years I was an annoying brat. I cared not whose feelings I stepped on. I would steal and cheat whenever I could gain something. I start stealing and smoking cigarettes at 10.

At 12, I was just coming out of my PTSD from watching my closest friend and brother burn to death at 5 years old, I was 3. Once I starting to talk about the incident, which was very hard at first, I healed little by little. I earnestly sought God from 12 to 14 years old. I was really looking for a man to follow while he sought Jesus. I looked around and found none that applied the word perfectly to his life. I became disillusioned and gave up. God's word has an anointing on it. Even though I became agnostic, the word did change me.

I was just a social drinker until I had a spinal fusion back surgery. I had a pinched nerve in my back and my legs kept buckling under me. When they winged me off the opiates I turned to alcohol to relieve the pain, I was 33. Once you need a drink instead of wanting one, you set yourself up for alcoholism. From 33 to 38 it was a roller coaster ride that led me to divorce and remarriage. I realized my problem was spiritual and I still somewhat believed in God. Needing off that alcohol dependence I finally replaced it with the Lord. You can follow that story in my "Coming to Jesus" blog.

"Thank you for sharing. God bless you...for being you."
'Praise God'

Magenta · May 1, 2019

Deade said:

Deade, my heart breaks for you every time I read that part of your story, the horror of seeing your closest friend and brother...

I was at a meeting this morning, and one of the women shared about all the dysfunctions and challenges she faced in her family as a direct result of the disease of alcoholism, and again, I was moved to tears. I used to feel like I had no right to grieve my own losses because others seemingly suffered far more than I had, but a wonderful councilor in my early recovery basically told me that feeling my feelings regardless, was a necessary step, and that it was essentially self-defeating to compare myself with others that way. We all suffer due to the fallen nature of humanity is what it comes down to for me in the final analysis, and I feel that keenly, and allow myself to, while being able to experience joy, and peace, at the same time, in a surrendered state of acceptance of what is.

I love going to meetings and listening to others share. I hear such amazing stories of heartbreak and recovery. One woman I know once told me many years ago that she used to look at me while she was sharing certain things to see if what she was saying brought tears to my eyes, because she knew that if it had, her message was effective for others who may not show it so easily. And she does carry a very good message

Some people are very gifted that way, and I am extremely grateful for them

In fact, I may have been initially drawn to AA because a few AA members attended EA meetings, and it was obvious that they had something worthwhile, something I later came to understand was recovery as a result of working the steps. I stopped attending EA meetings at around three years clean, to focus more on AA and NA, and I used to think I should choose between the two, but really, why? They both offer recovery, with wonderful literature, and a place to identify with others as we walk into a better life together

Bingo · May 1, 2019

"On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able . . . , the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules." - William D. Silkworth, MD (1873-1951) - Page xxvii, BigBook

Magenta · May 1, 2019

Bingo said:

Follow rules? LOLOLOL oh my

And yet it is true, there are some "musts" as in, you must do this, and you must do that. We are also told, take what you want, and leave the rest. We do what we can as we are willing and able, and reap the results accordingly

One wonderful "thing" the program gave me was permission to explore my own ideas of what spirituality was. The God of our own understanding is such necessary component of the program as we learn to embrace and envision what it is for us, and embark on a diligent course of action, which amounts to sincerely seeking. The amazing thing is, God, even knowing we are not seeking Him, responds to such seeking, and it is even promised in Scripture that He will reveal Himself to those who seek sincerely. It became a consuming quest for me. I was surely misguided in my own ideas, but had quite an adventure none-the-less, the end result being I could no longer deny that the Spiritual Force I was seeking to better understand, the God I was seeking, was the very same One I had rejected as a result of my Roman Catholic upbringing, and been running from the majority of my life

Magenta · May 1, 2019

PS~ I laugh because I know I do not follow directons very well

You can tell an alcoholic, but you can't tell them much, is one way I have heard it said

Magenta · May 1, 2019

This plays out in the traditions as well, in terms of operating by attraction rather than promotion. I also came to understand why we share our experience strength and hope as opposed to giving advice. When people told me what to do in certain life situations that were causing me to suffer, I suddenly had yet another problem worrying they would not like me because I KNEW I was not going to do (incapable or unwilling) what they told me to do. But when people who had been in similar situations told me how they dealt with the circumstances and feelings to relieve their suffering, it was completely different

Inspiration, not imposition...

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